(arbyreed)

Police: Do You Have Four Logs Of Swiss Cheese Stuffed Down Your Pants Or… (Insert Punchline)

I can imagine getting away with stuffing one log of rather expensive Swiss cheese down your pants and passing it off as a “No big deal, nothing to see here, just a guy walking around a store,” situation. But four logs of cheese? Come on now, we know you’re not just really, really happy to see us. [More]

If You Want To Keep Your Job As A News Anchor, Don’t Get Caught Shoplifting

If You Want To Keep Your Job As A News Anchor, Don’t Get Caught Shoplifting

As celebs like Wynona Ryder have demonstrated, you can get caught shoplifting and still go on to have a decent career in the public eye. Perhaps Ryder’s redemption tale will give some hope to a California news woman who has resigned her local anchoring gig after being charged with shoplifting. [More]

(marike79)

Police: Woman Tried To Smuggle Sex Toy Out Of Store In Her Kid’s Stroller

It’s always a sign of questionable parenting decisions when bad consumers involve their kids in their nefarious schemes, and at the least, is likely to teach those future consumers all the wrong things. So it’s with a sigh that we have to tell you a woman allegedly tried to sneak a sex toy out of a Spencer’s store by hiding it in her kid’s stroller. [More]

Former Deputy Charged In Shoplifting Incidents That Got Target Worker Fired

(pdxmac)

Yesterday we told you about the Target worker in Virginia who was fired after he reported an alleged shoplifter believed to be a law enforcement officer. Today comes the news that a former sheriff’s deputy has been arrested and charged, while the Target worker remains unemployed. [More]

(frankieleon.)

Yet Another Shoplifter Busted For Allegedly Stuffing Seafood Down Her Pants

What is it about people stealing seafood from stores by way of stuffing it down their pants? Because when I think of a prime environment for fruits of the sea, it is not a cramped, stuffy hot pants space. Nevertheless, yet another bad consumer has been accused of pilfering seafood, this time by allegedly shoving seven frozen lobster tails down her pants. [More]

(The.Comedian)

Detroit Police Bust Shoplifting Ring Accused Of Stealing $15K Of Stuff Per Day

While you might think you know about shoplifting based on that ill-advised stint in middle school when everyone was doing it, cops in Detroit have fried a much bigger fish than your normal grab-and-go thieves: Investigators say they’ve just busted a shoplifting ring responsible for stealing as much as $15,000 worth of merchandise a day and reselling it on the Internet. [More]

Ron Dauphin

Do Not Set Bird Seed On Fire To Distract Walmart Staff From Shoplifters

Shoplifting is a crime, a scourge in the retail business, and very, very bad. Do you know what’s worse than than shoplifting, though? Setting the store on fire to distract store security while your companion shoplifts. Now a Minneapolis woman has been charged with two counts of arson, and the Walmart store where this happened sustained six-figure damage. [More]

(Clearwater PD)

Tourist Admits She Did A “Stupid Thing,” Returns $5,500 Shoe Stolen From Hulk Hogan Store

Shh, ease your worried minds, my sweet little lambs! We can all rest easy in our beds tonight knowing that the unforgivable crime of stealing a shoe autographed by wrestler Hulk Hogan has been remedied. A tourist who snagged the shoe from the wrestler’s Florida store has fessed up to her infraction. [More]

(david takes photos)

Family Accused Of Traveling The Country To Shoplift $7M Worth Of Merchandise

I don’t know about you, but when my family went on trips together it involved long car rides listening to books on tape, spending a week or hiking in the woods and other fun memories. None of those involved traveling together out of state to shoplift around $7 million in merchandise over decades, like one set of parents and their adult daughter group are accused of doing. [More]

Safeway Shoplifter Stuffs Lobster And Steak Down Pants, Carjacks Elderly Man And Teenage Girl

Safeway Shoplifter Stuffs Lobster And Steak Down Pants, Carjacks Elderly Man And Teenage Girl

Normally, we find tales of merchandise crammed down shoplifters’ pants hilarious.  We were all ready to laugh at the story of a man who used similar methods to steal frozen steak and lobster from a Safeway…until we learned that he fled the scene by carjacking a vehicle with an elderly man and a 13-year-old girl inside, resulting in an Amber Alert. [More]

Why Would Anyone Steal $342 In Cat Food? To Sell To A Friend With 300 Cats, Obviously

Why Would Anyone Steal $342 In Cat Food? To Sell To A Friend With 300 Cats, Obviously

There are always going to be bad consumers out there doing bad things, like stealing from Walmart. Awful. But not all bad consumers have reasons for thieving that can make us start laughing uncontrollably, then in starts and fits every time we think about it again. Presenting: The guy who stole $342 worth in cat food so he could sell it to his friend who has 300 cats. [More]

(iamlemonfilm)

Asking Police If You Can Do Heroin After You’re Arrested For Shoplifting Will Prove Troublesome

It’s one thing to get in hot water for shoplifting but you might as well just jump into a lake of boiling water if you follow that by asking police if you can do a little heroin while under arrest. Cops in Minnesota stopped a woman suspected of shoplifting at Walmart and subsequently faced an odd request for someone in handcuffs: Mind if I do some drugs? [More]

Avoid Shoplifting After Faking Your Death To Avoid Shoplifting Charge

Here’s a tip: if you’re going to fake your own death to beat a shoplifting charge, remember that’s a big step. Don’t jeopardize your hard work by shoplifting again at a different department store and getting arrested. A woman in Nashville allegedly did just that, and is now accused of stealing from Dillard’s after faking her death to get out of a shoplifting charge at Macy’s. She did not try the controversial “Dawn of the Dead” defense. [USA Today]

Shoplifters Take $20,000 Worth Of Bras And Panties From Victoria’s Secret

Shoplifters Take $20,000 Worth Of Bras And Panties From Victoria’s Secret

It took them three shoplifting trips, but a pair of real-life underpants gnomes took $20,000 worth of bras and panties from a Florida Victoria’s Secret store. In surveillance video, you can watch two twentysomething men shove merchandise into a bag from another store and their pockets, apparently unnoticed by store employees. [More]

JC Penney, The Promised Land For Shoplifters

JC Penney, The Promised Land For Shoplifters

Shoppers still haven’t started to swarm back into JC Penney stores, but do you know who really loved the place in recent months? Shoplifters. Back in 2012, the chain decided to switch to a new radio tag system, ditching its older anti-theft tags. They abandoned the transition partway through, instead leaving older inventory untagged and ripe for stealing. [More]

(baywatch brimful)

Apply For A Job Or Shoplift A Sex Toy, But Not Both During Same Shopping Trip

It’s good to multi-task and combine errands in one trip, saving time and fuel. It isn’t such a good idea to get drunk, then visit a sex shop in order to steal an “adult toy,” then apply for a job at the same shop. [More]

Police: Parents Took Their 7 Kids Along For Toys ‘R’ Us Shoplifting Spree

Police: Parents Took Their 7 Kids Along For Toys ‘R’ Us Shoplifting Spree

It’s bad enough to go around taking things off store shelves and then not paying for them, but bringing along all seven of your children to help you shoplift is a whole new level of bad consumering. Yes, consumering. [More]

Shoplifters Make Effective Use Of Their Time, Dash Out Of Store With Rolling Racks

Shoplifters Make Effective Use Of Their Time, Dash Out Of Store With Rolling Racks

When you hear the word “shoplifting,” you might picture one person slipping a few small items into her purse, or a person layering extra clothes under their jacket in the fitting room. That’s not how large shoplifting operations roll. Literally roll, in the case of these thieves who took a few racks of merchandise out of a Sports Authority store near Chicago. [More]