Newsflash: Frozen Breakfast Sandwiches Are Not Nutritious, Taste Weird

There’s a wide variety of frozen breakfast sandwiches on the market, but are any of them any good? No, not particularly, our flavorful colleagues down the hall at Consumer Reports determined. Very few of the sandwiches they reviewed earned a good nutrition rating, and sandwiches don’t retain their texture very well after freezing. As with the guacamole tests earlier this year, they provided a recipe and recommended that maybe you just make own breakfast burritos at home instead. [Consumer Reports]

Here Are All The Photos Of Arby’s Meat Mountain Sandwiches We’ve Gotten So Far

Here Are All The Photos Of Arby’s Meat Mountain Sandwiches We’ve Gotten So Far

We learned something this week, and it’s that people like taking photos of their off-menu Arby’s Meat Mountains and sending them to us. In the spirit of convenience, we figured we’d put’em all in one place. You know, before this Meat Mountain thing blows over, or erupts or whatever it is mountains do when you’re sick of hearing about them and how much meat they have. [More]

(Coyoty)

When A Man Loves A Sub Shop Window Very, Very Much, He Gets Arrested

According to police, a Washington state man had a very strange reaction when he learned that the sub shop he wanted to visit was closed. Some people might knock on the door, or try to find another place to get a sandwich. That is not what he did. The cops say that he pulled down his pants and mashed his genitals against the window, and was arrested for indecent exposure. [More]

Someone Ate A Sandwich Made Of All McDonald’s Dollar Menu Items Because Why Not?

Someone Ate A Sandwich Made Of All McDonald’s Dollar Menu Items Because Why Not?

There’s only so much time left before the McDonald’s Dollar Menu is a thing of the past, when it becomes the Dollar And More For Some Stuff Because We Need Money Menu. That makes right this very moment in time just right for someone to make a sandwich including all the items on the Dollar Menu. Thank goodness that someone wasn’t us. [More]

(Triborough)

The Sandwich Index: How Much Will Your PBJs And BLTs Cost This Year?

It’s time to start making preparations for the coming school year, and that very important question: what do your kids want for lunch? Every year, blogger Lem Penzo calculates how much different types of sandwiches will cost per serving, then compares it to other types and the same sandwich in past years. [More]

Will you swallow it, or will it DEVOUR YOU?!?!?

Anyone Eating “The Big Fat Fatty” Sandwich Likely Not Bothered By What Its Name Implies

If you are what you eat, then anyone chomping down on the Big Fat Fatty sandwich doesn’t give a rat’s patootie what you think. Why would they, when immersed in a ginormous amalgamation of every kind of fast food niblet, meatlet, cheeselet and fried goodness known to mankind? You’re also likely fat in the wallet, as this culinary feat costs a whopping $49.99. [More]

(Amazon)

If you’ve always secretly wanted a sandwich in the shape of most of the Tetris pieces, have we got the sandwich mold for you! Though, as Drew at The Worst Things For Sale points out, if you’re old enough to love Tetris, you’re probably also old enough that you don’t need the crusts cut off your sandwiches. [Amazon]

(reallyboring)

Is that sandwich you’re currently enjoying part of a larger sandwich trend? Who knows! Well, the folks behind the 2012 Consumer Sandwich Trend Report probably do. And if they don’t spend their days drooling over all the facts and figures related to layers of sandwichy goodness, then we’ll be absolutely shocked. Because that’s the kind of job we could really sink our teeth into (cue bad joke groans)! [via AdAge]

(Marike79)

What It’s Like To Work At A Subway Franchise, Get Blamed For Everything Customers Don’t Like

Reader M. is currently (under-) employed at a Subway franchise. M. has a college degree, and is bright enough to be able to see the economic indicators that show they’ll still be working at Subway for a while yet. Fortunately, we like to give employees a soapbox to educate the public about the things we might not understand about their jobs. That way, Consumerist readers are less likely to act like entitled jerks, treat front-line employees better, and the world is a happier place. In theory. [More]

(me and the sysop)

I Have No Sandwich Delivery And Local Jimmy John’s Loses Business Because Of Stupid Manager

Jason would really like to give the local Jimmy John’s a lot of business. So would other people in his town, it sounds like. But because his closest store is a franchise, it’s not allowed to deliver to him. He can call for delivery from other area restaurants that are further away, but not the one four minutes from his house. Yes, of course he could go pick up his sandwiches, and he often does, but that’s not the point. Most of the time when we call for delivery, we could go get the food but choose not to because it would require removing snow from the car or changing out of pajamas or loading children into a vehicle. [More]

Shot of my sandwich at the same angle

Quick-Serve Ads Vs. Reality: Panera Roasted Turkey And Cranberry Sandwich

Anderson tried a seasonal offering at Panera, the Roasted Turkey and Cranberry sandwich. The promotional photos made it look appetizing, but the sandwich that ended up on Anderson’s plate wasn’t. We know that speed is really important at Panera, and maybe this is just a hastily-assembled meal. Anderson decided to throw it away, leave the Panera, and then complain online. This plan was somewhat flawed. [More]

Jimmy John's Veggie Sub Is More Of A Sad Wilted Lettuce Thing

Jimmy John's Veggie Sub Is More Of A Sad Wilted Lettuce Thing

No rational person expects fast food, or any restaurant meal, to look exactly like the promotional photos. There might be a passing resemblance, but they won’t look very much alike. Rachel had heard good things about sandwich chain Jimmy John’s from her friends, but they’re meat-eaters and she and her husband are vegetarians. But it’s not that hard to make a tasty sandwich without meat, right? The menu showed a nice sandwich packed with veggies and cheese, but what Rachel and Mr. Rachel got were sort of sad, mashed lettuce sandwiches. [More]

When Is Dinner Time Not Dinner Time?

When Is Dinner Time Not Dinner Time?

When is “dinner?” Josh had a Subway coupon with the words “Dinner Time” on it, but no time restrictions in the fine print. He went to use the coupon around 1:00 PM at a local Subway franchise, and their cash register wouldn’t accept it. He feels that Subway owes him a dollar, and now refuses to go back. Is he overreacting, or does Subway need to define when “dinner” starts? [More]

Child Seized After Fainting Mother Forgot To Pay For Sandwich

Child Seized After Fainting Mother Forgot To Pay For Sandwich

A Hawaii couple was tossed in jail and their child taken by protective services for 18 hours after the mother forgot to pay for her sandwich at Safeway. [More]

Subway: Cheaper To Order Footlong, Throw Away Half Of Bread Than Ordering 6-Inch With Double Meat

Subway: Cheaper To Order Footlong, Throw Away Half Of Bread Than Ordering 6-Inch With Double Meat

Aaron is trying to lose weight by cutting carbs out of his diet. When he eats at Subway, the first thing that he tried doing was ordering a 6-inch sub with double meat. Then he noticed something. It would actually be cheaper for him to order a footlong and just throw away half the bread. [More]

For Some Reason, The 'Bacon-Egger' Egg Salad Sandwich Never Caught On

For Some Reason, The 'Bacon-Egger' Egg Salad Sandwich Never Caught On

One dish conspicuously missing from our modern bacon-crazed menus is the “Bacon-Egger.” What’s that, you say? Not a breakfast item, as it is at some establishments, but a sandwich. An open-faced egg salad sandwich with strips of bacon, olives, and celery. Featured in a 1965 7-Up ad, it apparently goes well with a bottle of 7-Up. Or, to translate that into ad copy, the soda’s “frisky taste and lively sparkle give every bite ‘first bite’ excitement!” [More]

Jimmy John's Sandwiches Are Not Handcrafted In Liberia

Jimmy John's Sandwiches Are Not Handcrafted In Liberia

Richard was enjoying a sandwich at Jimmy John’s when he noticed something odd about a sign on the wall. The patriotic placard, meant to advertise that the sandwiches are “handmade in the U.S.A.,” doesn’t have an American flag on it. It is nice and patriotic-looking and all. It what looks like the flag of Liberia with an extra white stripe at the top, which Richard was told is a “stylized American flag.” [More]

Forget The Double Down, This Is The Double Kill

Forget The Double Down, This Is The Double Kill

Every time I look at a KFC Double Down, I think to myself, you know what this is missing? Onion rings, mac and cheese, beef patties, and of course, buns. Thankfully the boys of “Epic Meal Time” have rectified this significant oversight. And then they ate it. [More]