Well, you can file a lawsuit for anything. The question is whether you will win. Norberg has set up a site, standforspeech.com, about his issue and made available the documents related to his case. Read 'em and see who you think is right.

Remember folks, the best defense against libel and slander is the truth. As long as he's telling it, he should be ok, right?

Below, what exactly Norberg said about Biegel that sparked the lawsuit in the first place...

The following statements are false as they apply to the plaintiff:
a) "A friend told me to stop going, cause Dr. Biegel billed his insurance company funny awhile before"
b) "So, I saw the guy for 2 visits, expected a bill for about 125 bucks... So ends up, Biegel billed me for over $500. I called to pay, and he couldn't give me a straight answer as to why the jump in price, we got into an argument..."
c) "He called me back to cover his ass, and had reasons as to why he could bill for the extra amount, then tells me he would still write it off because he wanted to keep his word from the previous conversation. One reason he gave me, was that he runs a business and would stick it to insurance companies (even though that drives my premiums up, and makes me wonder who else he sticks it to.)"
d) The next day I received a voicemail from the receptionist, she told me that she talked to my insurance company and found out that my case settled, and even though it was for an amount less than expected, they felt I owed them $125.
e) [I was a bit put off by the fact that] "he wasn't keeping his word anymore..."
f) [I don't think good business means charging people whatever you feel like hoping they'll pay without a fuss.]"Especially considering that I found a much better, honest chiropractor."

9. Each statement described in paragraph 7, above, is libelous on its face. It clearly exposes plaintiff to hatred, contempt, ridicule, and obloquy because
a) the statement in 7 a) above,"billed his insurance company funny" suggests plaintiff is dishonest.
b) the statement in 7 b) above,"...he couldn't give me a straight answer" suggests plaintiff was billing in a fraudulent and dishonest manner.
c) the statement in 7 c) above"He called me back to cover his ass, and had reasons as to why he could bill for the extra amount" suggest that plaintiff dishonestly made up false reasons which excused his billing practices. "One reason he gave me, was that he...would stick it to insurance companies," suggests that plaintiff dishonestly [illegible] "even though that drives my premiums up, and makes me wonder who else he sticks it to)" suggests plaintiff dishonestly and fraudulently bills his other patients, and other business entities he deals with in his business.

10. These statements contained in defendant's review posted online on yelp.com were seen and read by thousands, if not tens of thousands of consumers and prospective patients of plaintiff, as well as professional colleagues, who reside in and around the San Francisco Bay area, and were no doubt seen and read by many persons outside of the Bay Area.

11. As a proximate result of the above-described publication, plaintiff has suffered loss of his reputation, shame, mortification and hurt feelings all to his general damage.

12. As a further proximate result of the above-described publication, plaintiff has suffered the following special damages: injury to his business and profession, all to his injury....

You can read the rest in the online filing [PDF]. Rest of the documents are here.

(Photo: dougalug)

Depending on the vigilance of the landlord, a seasoned serial evictee like Getzow can get away with a minimum of 45 days and sometimes up to a year of free rent. The actual number of serial evictees operating in San Francisco is difficult to track, but some attorneys who specialize in representing landlords estimate there are between 20 and 100.

Landlord attorney Clifford Fried of Wiegel and Fried says these types of tenants know they're unlikely to be punished for withholding rent. "You can go into a store and steal a loaf of bread and do a year in jail," he says, "but you can steal months of rent from a landlord and never do any time in jail. It's a great crime to commit because there are no penalties."

The evictees are well versed in the ins and outs of the San Francisco eviction process. They take advantage of the all the programs and aid that the city provides to its residents who are facing eviction. Of course, they're only a small percentage of the renters that seek help:

Carolyn Gold directs the San Francisco Volunteer Legal Services Program, which manages a group of 10 volunteer attorneys who help tenants in the 30 or so eviction cases that come through Superior Court each week. She says she sees very few serial evictees like Getzow. "In fact, what we see more of is serial evictors, landlords who continually come up with ruses for one eviction after another," she says. "There are lots of tenants who have gotten themselves into a tight spot for one reason or another — they're elderly, they have medical conditions, lost jobs — things that are beyond their control. I see it every day, and it's very, very sad."

The serial evictee profiled in the story, however, is an especially nasty one. His last run in with a landlord ended in charges for assault:

According to police, Getzow came into the Holy Grail on Feb. 10 at about 1:30 a.m. complaining about noise and attempting to goad O'Reilly into a fight. O'Reilly refused and tried to get Getzow to leave. Bartender Patricia Herlihy was so alarmed at Getzow's behavior that she began taking photographs of him with a digital camera. Getzow approached her and shoved or pushed the camera into her face, SFPD Sergeant Neville Gittens says.

Herlihy was taken to the hospital, Gittens says, though the police report contains no information about the extent of her injuries. Getzow retreated to a nearby crepe restaurant, where he was still in such an agitated state when the police arrived that it took several officers to restrain him, the report says.

How Renters Work the System to Live for Free in One of America's Most Expensive Cities [SFWeekly]

Blint explained that photography wasn't allowed, even though Hawk had confirmed that it was, and then asked two security guards to escort Hawk out.

MOMA's website states:

Cameras
Photography is not permitted in the galleries. Flash photography is permitted only with a handheld camera in the Atrium.

So Thomas must have been in the galleries, right? Why else would they kick him out. Well, let's look at the picture he took:

Oh.
Ok, then he had to be using something other than a handheld camera. A fancy camera, one with a tripod and a flash.

I was not shooting with a tripod. I was not shooting with a flash. I was being quiet and respectful of the area and the other patrons.

Blint on the other hand was hostile, accusatory and refused to even examine my photographs or allow me to share with him what I was doing with my art. He accused me of using a "telephoto" lens to spy on his staff from the public staircase on the second floor. Blint obviously knows nothing of photography because the 14mm ultra wide angle lens on my camera body was about the furthest thing possible from a telephoto lens. He refused to discuss this, refused to examine my photographs, refused to consider it at all and simply had me ejected with two security guards.

[...]

I believe that I was very much targeted in this case because I was using a digital SLR. There were plenty of people taking photographs of the atrium using point and shoots that Simon did not target, but I think that it was the fact that I was using a larger DSLR that made me a target. Rather than try to understand what I and my art were about Simon felt the smarter way to deal with the situation was simply to kick me out of his museum.

Tell us, our charmingly creative commenters, what would be the best way for Simon Blint to apologize to Thomas?

Update: A witness chimes in over at SFist:

I was at the museum on Friday and saw this whole thing go down. Thomas Hawk's account of what happened is unabashedly one-sided. What he neglects to mention is that he was standing on a balcony with his camera pointed down, aiming directly into the shirt/cleavage of one of the female employees working at the museum. Simon Blint asked Thomas Hawk to stop taking photos in order to protect his staff from a creepy perv, not because he was using a dSLR or for whatever BS reason Thomas Hawk claims.

If true, then Blint's actions would be entirely appropriate. Whichever poor soul handles communications for SFMOMA should be able to provide needed clarification tomorrow morning.

Simon Blint, Director of Visitor Relations at the SF MOMA, Yeah You Asshole, Photography is Not a Crime [Thomas Hawk's Digital Connection]
(Photo: Thomas Hawk)

Dear Mr. R:

Thank you for contacting Tony Roma's Guest Relations. Please accept our apologies for the disappointment you had at Tony Roma's in San Francisco, CA. Each guest plays an important role in helping us maintain the standards by which we operate and we appreciate your feedback. Your message is being forwarded to the franchise owner/operator and the Director of Franchise Operations for this location. Management would like to discuss your visit and will contact you at the earliest opportunity. Thank you.

Martha Killion
Guest Relations
Romacorp, Inc.

Alex has promised to keep us updated on this developing story. We shall wait and see whether they make things right, or decide to reinvent math.

PREVIOUSLY: Tony Roma's, Where 16oz = 14oz

(Photo: Rick McCharles)

Alex and his friend went to Tony Roma's, a casual dining place known for its ribs, and got a little twinge in their torso when they realized that the "16 ounce" beer they were served came in a 14 ounce glass. The glass was just as tall as a normal glass, but it had a thicker bottom, making it hold less. These glasses are known as "falsies." The friends might not have noticed the difference except that Alex's buddy got his beer served in a normal glass and Alex got the thick-bottomed one. They conducted experiments involving pouring water between the different glasses and concluded that yes, Alex got 2 ounces less. When they complained, the manager said, "who said we served pints?" and said it was policy to only serve beer in 14 ounce glasses, and soda in 16 ounce glasses. Which might have been ok, except when the waiter first took their order, he specifically asked whether they would like 16 ounces or 23 ounces. 16 is not 14. Alex's letter, inside...

Dear Consumerist,

My friend and I went to Tony Roma's in San Francisco Friday 6/13. We decided to go there to get dinner and a couple of beers. I read your site frequently and had already seen the post about restaurants using glass that hold 14 ounce instead of a 16 ounce pint. I also forwarded the article to my friend who came with me that day.

The waiter comes to our table and asks us if we would like drinks. My Friend orders a Spaten and I order an Anchor Steam and the waiter asks us if we would like a 16 oz or 23 oz glass. We both opted for the 16 oz glass. Once they arrived I noticed that my glass had a thicker bottom on it than my friends. We immediately realized I had been given the smaller sized glass. My Friend was like you should complain and I told him I would not until we got our food because I did not want them to spit in it. We finished our first beers and my friend orders another one to make sure it is not just a mistake. He ordered another Anchor Steam and the glass that it came in was the same size as the one that I had drank.

After we finished our food we got a couple glasses of water. We poured water into the glass we thought was actually a pint, filling it to the top. Then we poured the water in that glass into the ones we thought were smaller. We figured if both glass held the same amount of water then we were wrong and would not complain. After pouring the water into the smaller glass we found that about 2 oz of water was left in the bigger glass.

At this point my friend went up the manager at the front of the restaurant to complain about the beer. He lets the lady know that we ordered pints but that the beer was served in 14 ounce glasses instead of 16 ounce ones. To which the manager asked how he knew that there were 16 ounces in a pint. My friend told her he had been drinking beer long enough to know what is in a pint. She then told him that beer is served in 14 ounce glasses and they only served soda in the 16 ounce glasses. He told then asked why they served him a 16 ounce glass and me a 14 ounce one. She then asked him who said they served pints?

At this point my friend came back to the table so we could pay our bill and leave. He did not tell me what had happened until after we left the place or I would have pointed out that our waiter in fact asked us if we wanted 16 oz or 23 oz.

We understand that they may not serve full pints and maybe the waiter was mistaken in asking us if we wanted 16 or 23 oz, but I really couldn't picture the wait staff asking customer if they wanted 14 or 23 oz. Not to mention the price for the beer is what you would expect to pay for a pint at the bar across the walkway from Tony Roma's. I have emailed their corporate site to see if they respond, I am not expecting much. We would have hoped they would at most take a little off the bill like a dollar or at the very least apologize, but no such luck.

I have no intention of going to Tony Roma's again and if by chance I do I will be sure to order a soda since I get a full 16 oz and free refills.

Sincerely,

Alex R.

If this happens to you, the Wall Street Journal advises you wait for the foam to settle and then ask for a "top-off."

Since 2004, UCSF said it provided the names and addresses of 30,590 patients to Target America, paying the company $12,000 a year.

Hospital officials said it contracted with the company to assist "with identifying names of individuals who could potentially receive communications from UCSF."

"Identification of potential donors who were active in the philanthropic community was one objective, along with identifying individuals who had corporate relationships, such as board service, or were affiliated with relevant community programs and health care biomedical organizations," Kaarlela said.

After the breach was discovered, the hospital said it required Target America to hire "an objective third-party firm" to investigate. UCSF received the forensic analysis report March 26. It showed that information was potentially accessible from July 1 to Oct. 9 last year "if a query for a specific name was made." Notification letters were mailed to patients April 4.

To Dixon, the expert on medical identity, the disclosure lag was far too long.

"In Internet years, that's a century," she said.

In January, California began requiring health care providers to alert consumers if their medical information is breached. Swift notification is considered important so consumers can monitor credit reports and bills.

According to Joanne McNabb, chief of the California Office of Privacy Protection, notice should be given "in the most expedient time possible, without unreasonable delay."

"It's a judgment call, the how and the when part," McNabb said. "The idea is to give early warning so that people can take defensive action. On the other hand, you don't want to needlessly worry people."

It's not the worst case of lost records we've seen, but mining for donors seems so much worse than "whoops, lost another laptop!" At least people's social security numbers weren't included with the data. People who think their identity may have been stolen should pour themselves a stiff drink before sitting down to read this comprehensive post.

6,000 UCSF patients' data got put online [San Francisco Chronicle] (Thanks to Paul!)
(Photo: Getty)

• Cutting a giant hole in one renter's floor
• Breaking into a tenant's apartment and pouring ammonia on their clothes, bedding, and electronics
• Cutting the support beams to a renter's apartment
• Illegally entering a renter's apartment and dismantling their furniture
• Turning off the water,power, and electricity to tenant's apartments

S.F. landlords charged with tenant terror [SF Gate] (Thanks to Paul!)

I just wanted to provide some clarification regarding Daniel's situation. The technician parked in front of Daniel's house did not disconnect the connection in any way. But we did want to try to resolve the issue for Daniel as quickly as possible. We received the initial call regarding the outage at 11:00 AM. We had a technician at his location by 3:00. The technician verified the connection and identified a network problem that could not be rectified (or caused) on the Customer's premises. We escalated the situation to have this looked into. We also promised to have this resolved within 1 business day. The next afternoon we called Daniel to inform him the network issue was resolved. We have also apologized to him for the problem occurring in the first place. The initial outage occurred on April 8 and it was resolved on April 9. We have also followed up with Daniel to make sure that he has not had further problems.

It is certainly our goal to avoid outages, but at times they do occur. When this happens we want to resolve it as quickly as possible. This was not related to wiring or connections, so this was not the doing of the technician in question.

We do apologize that the van was blocking his driveway and for the inconvenience of the outage!

PREVIOUSLY: Ask Comcast Tech To Move His Van, Mysteriously Lose Signal

(photo: Spidra Webster)

In 2004, the suit alleges, California resident Elizabeth Marcotte was hit with a $25,0000 award, plus $10,000 in attorneys' fees, in a credit-card collection case. But Ms. Marcotte allegedly wasn't notified about the arbitration, because she was served at an old address, even though she had notified the credit-card company of her new address. The NAF awarded the attorneys' fees without requiring proof that the debt collector actually incurred the fees, according to the suit. Ms. Marcotte wasn't reached for comment.

In another credit-card collection case, the NAF allegedly entered an award against California resident John Sheakley, without responding to his request to appear at a hearing and explain why he didn't owe the purported debt to a bank that was a predecessor of FIA Card Services.

San Francisco's proposal would cover about 200 restaurants with over 20 locations. Each would be required to pay an annual $350 fee to fund a half-time compliance inspector.

San Francisco joins New York City and Washington's King County in the battle to protect consumers with information, a fight that has not gone well for municipalities. California Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger recently vetoed a bill that would require nutrition labeling throughout the state, and New York City was barred by a judge from enforcing its regulations until April 15, when the plan may be tossed altogether.

Subway is the only restaurant we know of to voluntarily display nutritional information on their menus, and apparently, they haven't been driven out of business. Go figure.

San Francisco passes menu label ordinance [ThePacker.com]
San Francisco Mayor Signs Menu Labeling Bill [CSPI]

No word on what the guy was doing to disrupt the flight, but everyone is ok and the diverted passengers were given vouchers for a free one-way flight.

We know this time of year is stressful, but try to behave yourselves.

Plane diverted to Denver after in-flight disturbance [9News]
(Photo:Meghann Marco)

• New York: MacArthur Airport in Islip is far, far away from the preferred outer-borough airports, but it is serviced by Southwest and accessible with a $10 Long Island Rail Road ticket.
• Miami: South Florida has two viable options: Ft. Lauderdale and West Palm Beach. Both have regular service to Miami via Tri-Rail for $5.50.
• Chicago: No, Midway—our favorite Flight Simulator airport—is not the preferred alternate. Consider Milwaukee. Yes, Milwaukee.

  Not only is it a hub of the highly-regarded Midwest Airlines, but also Amtrak's Hiawatha Service makes seven roundtrips a day between Chicago and the Milwaukee Airport. Each 90-minute one-way trip costs $21, much cheaper (and often faster) than using a cab.

• Los Angeles: West Coast visitors can choose from Burbank, Long Beach, Ontario, Orange County and Palmdale airports. Long Beach has the best on-time arrival stats and good access to transportation.
• San Francisco: Oakland is a good alternative, but may soon be as congested as San Francisco International.

America's Best Alternate Airports [Peter Greenberg]

As I started looking for places, I noticed everything that used to be for rent was now for sale due to the same foreclosure effect that happened to my landlord.

It also appeared that the rents were going up..... but... were the really? or am I just paranoid and bitter?

Since I was waiting to get my research published, I figured I could waste ample amounts of time coding perl scripts and learning google maps.

This project was born out of boredom.

CraigStatsSF [via BoingBoing]

There's a much deeper story here, and it begins with Oyster, a respected, self-made businessman who turned a single station into Oyster Petroleum, a profitable firm in Redwood City. Oyster is nobody's fool. Don't think he isn't well aware that the Chevron station across the street is selling regular for 70 cents less.

Putting the price way up over $4 a gallon isn't about making a profit. It's about making a statement to a multinational corporation. After Shell forced him to pay higher prices for gas in San Francisco and jacked up his rent, Oyster says, he decided to fight back.

"I got fed up,'' Oyster admits. "It makes a statement, and I guess when people see that price they also see the Shell sign right next to it.''

In fact, far from making a huge profit, Oyster is going out of business. He has operated the Shell station at Sixth and Harrison for 22 years, but he's walking away from it at the end of the month, handing over the keys to Shell officials and expecting them to shut it down.

"I'm getting nothing for the station,'' he says. "I just give them the keys and walk away. They told me they were probably just going to fence it and bulldoze it anyway.''

Oyster says Shell jacked up his rent in an attempt to put him out of business so they could replace him with their own station and employees, and it worked. He says that independent dealers don't make a profit on the gas they sell, much like the way movie theater owners make all of their money on concessions. Shell denies this.

"All I've got is gas and cigarettes,'' he says. "And you can't sell that many cigarettes.''

So Oyster took matters to their logical conclusion. If it took $4 gas to get people's attention, he'd give them $4 gas.

"I'm going out with a bang,'' says Oyster. "And I don't care if I don't pump a gallon on the last day.''

Dealer prices gas over $4 in protest [SFGate via Freakonomics]
(Photo: Liz Mangelsdorf)

"While still on board, our cabin crew worked to ensure the comfort of passengers providing snacks, beverage refreshments and a hot meal. Many passengers were asleep on board as we provided refreshments and updates on the delay," the airline said in a written statement.

The passengers, on the other hand, tell a different story:

"We sat there three hours before they said anything," said Mark Valenta, a newlywed for whom the flight was to have been the start of a dream honeymoon to Asia. "Then the PA system went down, the lights were going on and off, babies were crying. It was a nightmare."

"They finally said there was some kind of technical issue, but they were not sure what it was, and were trying to resolve it," Valenta said. "But the pilot was so nonchalant about it. There were no snacks, no drinks, nothing."

Passengers boarded Flight CX873 to Hong Kong just after midnight Tuesday for a 1:20 a.m. departure. They never left the gate. For 7 hours passengers sat with little information and few refreshments. At 4 am they were allowed to go back into the terminal for "juice" according to one passenger. Eventually the crew told the passengers that they would be delayed until a broken part was flown in from the East Coast. Even so, the flight wasn't officially canceled until 7:30 am. —MEGHANN MARCO

SFO nightmare — 400 stuck on plane 7 hours [SFGate] (Thanks, Glenn!)
(Photo: fuggle)

The Plastic Bag Reduction Ordinance, written by Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi and Co., sponsored by six other supervisors, gives major supermarket chains with more than $2 million in annual sales six months to make the switch to biodegradable bags. Pharmacies and retailers with at least five locations have one year. Violators face fines of up to $500.

If you don't live in San Francisco and want to do your part, don't throw your bags away. Most stores even offer a negligible discount to consumers who reuse their bags. — CAREY GREENBERG-BERGER

Paper Instead of Plastic for San Francisco [Canyon News]
(Photo: Zainub)

Virgin America, based in Burlingame, Calif., near San Francisco's airport, said yesterday that it was pleased by the ruling and hoped to start flights between San Francisco and Kennedy International Airport in New York by midsummer. Within nine months of beginning flights, it said it planned to serve Los Angeles, San Diego, Las Vegas and Washington.

An American Version of Virgin Atlantic Is Tentatively Approved for Service [NYT]

PREVIOUSLY: Virgin America's Awesome Plane DOT Won't Let You Ride
"Stupid" Law Prevents Foreign Investors From "Owning" US Airlines

For $120 a month, you can get unlimited voice, messaging and data on your Sprint cellphone. For $30 more, you can get all that and unlimited internet access.

The plans are currently being tried out in San Fransisco. They could be a good deal for people who find themselves constantly going over their minutes.

If Sprint rolls these out nationally, it will be interesting to see whether they mean unlimited in the dictionary sense of the word, or in the Comcast sense... — BEN POPKEN

Sprint Nextel 'grenade:' unlimited voice, messaging and data [RCR Wireless News] (Thanks to Justin!)
(Photo: Sam Wilkinson)

"We've more than doubled the amount of viewing choices for customers who now have the most HDTV and VOD (video-on-demand) viewing options with 100 hours of HD on demand and nearly 7,000 video on demand titles each month," Steve Kipp, a Comcast vice president of communications, told The Everett Herald."

Can a national rate increase be far off?—MEGHANN MARCO

HDTV: Will Comcast Hike Prices? — Yes [TV Predictions]

Brandon booked a room at the Sheraton Gateway for himself and a colleague on business . Later, he added a room under his name for a third associate. When he arrived at check in, close to midnight, he found that in altering the reservation, Sheraton accidentally changed the reservation to a week later.

In spite of this being Sheraton's error, they offered no discounts or help with finding alternate accommodations. "Sorry, we're sold out all this week," the friendly clerks chirped.

After further wrangling, the travelers managed to wrest out one room for each of them from the clerks.

When pressed, the check in clerk revealed the reason for the hotel's lack of vacancy. The hotel's president was in and blocked off thirty rooms for the rest of the week. What he planned to do with all those rooms was not clear.

The trio did end up having a good night's sleep, down the road at the Larkspur Landing.

Its premise is that you don't stop it in your neighborhood, soon taggers will overtake your house.

Disgruntled graph artists caught the slings and arrows of outrage in their teeth, and returned fire across the bow, after the jump...

The small text reads: "According to SF Public Works Code Article 23 SEC.1301 graffiti results in visual pollution and is hereby deemed a public nuisance. There's just one thing they forgot to mention...ADVERTISING IS "VISUAL POLLUTION"."

The response you're looking for, BBDO, is "touch ."

Readers may remember a similar response when Sony PSP tried to do graffiti in San Fran and got reamed. San Fran will kill you! With patchouli!

Via Wooster Collective and Adrants.

Your gas guzzler bottoms out. It's bottom grinds and gets stuck on the hill. Proof that San Fran actually has structural defenses to debilitate encroachment by machines which don't run on the most efficient fuel of all: Love.

Whether the people in front are trying to help the limo get ungrounded, or prevent its further advance, is subject to interpretation.

Taken in front of Goat Hill Pizza at 18th and Connecticut, in Potrero Hill.

Somehow, we think the beast gets less sympathy than if they found a whale similarly stranded near the Golden Gate Bridge. Which, when you think about it, is really racist.

"Beached SUV Limo" [Traveling Tiger via Stay Free!]

According to this letter sent to the SF Gate Food critic, one family got their reservation jacked at a fine seafood restaurant and was then treated less than stellar by the management. Not that they took this sitting down.

"The front of the house manager arrived in less than a minute. He said that another party, pointing to a nearby booth, had taken the reservation. Apparently when this other party of four arrived a few minutes earlier, one women leaned over the podium, found a listing for a party of four, and declared herself that party.

"OK," I said, "Stuff happens in life. We'll just take the next available table if that's all right."

"Not quite all right" he answered, "You need to wait until a vacancy occurs in the reservation list. As it is Mother's Day, and we have only so many tables available, it may be an hour or so."

The letter goes on to describe the various tactics and regulations that ensued, including lies, c-notes and water being poured over people's heads. It all seems a bit like a preposterous fantasy but perhaps that's the state of customer service these days!

"Take Your Table and Shove It!" [Between Meals] (Thanks to Matt!)

As he notes, "I hope I don't waste your time while I try to remember all the details of this, it happened so long ago. I assure you it has a touching ending, though in more of an existential sense..."

The tale spins around a wheel whose tires won't stop leaking air, no matter how many nails they pull from its rubber...

Drew writes:

"Our (my wife and I) last car was a Saturn SL1. Actually her car, but never mind. All in all it was a great car that served us well, since we're very good about keeping up a maintenance schedule.

So we decide one day that we need some new tires... and I having just gotten a bonus from work (or something, I don't really remember where the extra money came from), decide that we should do it pronto. They're going bald, after all.

We go to the nearest Big O, one on Geary in San Francisco. They sell us some tires. We drive on them. Done.

Until six months later, when one tire starts losing air. We fill it up, it loses air again. It only does this while either driving or parked (again sorry, I can't remember which, but it's not important to the consumer side of the story, only the Car Talk side).

We go back to the Big O where we bought the tires because they have a lifetime repair and rotation warranty on all tires. They take in the car and say they found a nail. They repair the tire and we drive off. Done.

Except the tire keeps losing air. We go back a couple weeks later, and they try and fix it but say they can't find the problem. We give up for a couple of weeks, then decide we'd had enough. We take the car to another location, on Mission Street in SF. Here's where it gets interesting.

They repair the tire, and SHOW ME the nail they took out of it. Okay, another nail? Whatever, fine. They repair it again, and off I go. Done.

Except the tire continues to lose air.

I go back to this location, and explain the whole series of events. They're flummoxed, but have some theories. Well one really, and it's that the rim is tweaked and can't form a good seal with the tire. They offer to sell me a used rim for over $100.

I decide we'll buy the rim, but I want to troubleshoot first. "Let's take a tire off of another wheel, and put it on the suspect rim," I say, flush with cleverness. "If that solves the problem then you owe me a new tire, if not then I buy a new rim."

He basically tells me heck no. He won't have his mechanics waste their time swapping tires around. And anyway, he says, they could mess up the bead (the part on the tire that seals with the rim) by taking it off and putting it back on in the first place.

"Then couldn't someone have damaged the bead on THIS tire, thereby causing the slow leak?"

"No."

Letters to corporate ensued, responded to with "These are franchisees who set their own policy, so tough luck."

The Big O guy on Mission Street basically told me he wouldn't give me a new tire, because if he sent back the old one and they didn't find a leak, they wouldn't pay him for it. He said to wait until it comes in totally flat, and then he'll replace it.

("Why wouldn't he just repair it," you may ask? Me too... he said he'd replace it. I don't believe him).

The punchline: The car's transmission fell to pieces and it was more expensive to fix than the car was worth. End of tire dilemma.

The aftermath: We will never go to any Big O Tires again.

The touching ending: As we drive off the Saturn lot in our new 2005 Vue, we see our beloved traded-in SL1 parked behind the service area... with one completely flat tire."

After that, the recidivist Eden.

The image appeared in a pamphlet surreptitiously distributed at a shopping mall. The project is the work of Packard Jennings. His latest project, done in the style of an instruction manual for mail processors (think "Business Reply Envelope" sifters) for inducing a utopia in their workplace, needs your donation of business reply envelopes. You can send them care of the Catherine Clark gallery, where the work premieres this Thursday, April 6, from 5:30-7:30pm in San Francisco.

Packard Jennings at Catherine Clark Gallery, SF [StayFree!]

The Compact, named after the Mayflower pilgrims' credo, consists of about 50 people who decided to go a year without buying anything besides food, health, safety items, and clean underwear.

Since their story appeared last Monday, the group has been besieged with emails and media inquiries. Over 350 have joined and chapters are springing up in nearly every US city as well as international locations.

Attention has been both positive and negative.

"I've also been attacked personally for being in marketing," said Perry, "One person said that's like a pimp preaching abstinence. Then someone else said it was like a sinner seeking penitence — who better?"

Bear in mind the looseness of the affiliation. To join Compact, you need only sign up for their Yahoogroup.

Pictured is John Perry, a member of Compact, and his son, shopping at a San Fran scrap yard. Perry only buys secondhand but still manages to look like Steven Colbert s hip technician older brother.

Anti-consumerism Group Vows to Buy Nothing* [SFGate] (Thanks Nina!)