Ronald McDonald Won’t Sell Burgers At Your Kids’ School, But He’ll Talk About Bike Safety

(stephanie santos)

Is it possible to separate a world-famous brand mascot from the products that mascot has spent decades shilling for? Can you look at Joe Camel and not associate him with Camel cigarettes, or stare deep into the terrifying unblinking eyes of second-tier human-baseball Mr. Met and not immediately think of the NY Mets? McDonald’s apparently thinks so, telling consumer advocates that Ronald McDonald isn’t pushing Big Macs and McNuggets on kids when he visits schools to talk about bike safety and other non-greasy topics. [More]

BIG NEWS! (FOX 11)

Wisconsin McDonald’s Reunited With Ronald McDonald Statue 9 Months After It Wandered Off

Police have made a positive identification in the missing inanimate persons case of one Ronald McDonald, statue, who previously resided at a Wisconsin McDonald’s before wandering off/getting kidnapped nine months ago. We might never know what he saw out there in the wide world on his travels, however, as officials say the statue is remaining as silent as a… well, you know. [More]

McDonald’s Is Sending Ronald McDonald To Work On Twitter In A New Outfit

McDonald’s Is Sending Ronald McDonald To Work On Twitter In A New Outfit

Let there be no doubt about it — just because there’s some “taco shop” out there using guys named Ronald McDonald to talk breakfast smack, the true Ronny McDonny has only one master and that is McDonald’s. The chain is dusting off the 51-year-old Ronald McDonald character, giving him a new outfit and sending him out to spread the chain’s message on social media. [More]

Starbucks: Our Ads With Men Named Duncan Came Before Taco Bell’s Ronald McDonald Spots

Starbucks: Our Ads With Men Named Duncan Came Before Taco Bell’s Ronald McDonald Spots

Perhaps you had a good chuckle over those Taco Bell ads starring men named Ronald McDonald where the gag is — can you believe this? — they actually prefer the Bell’s new breakfast over McDonald’s. It’s funny because of their names. And while some are calling Starbucks a copycat for its Seattle’s Best Coffee spots with testimonials from men named Duncan pledging their love (because Dunkin’ Donuts!), the company is stressing that its ads came first. [More]

McDonald's Says Ronald Is Definitely Not Being Retired

McDonald's Says Ronald Is Definitely Not Being Retired

First, anti fast food groups tried to force Ronald McDonald to retire, then those Finnish activists cut off his head in a bizarre execution. Now come reports that McDonald’s has officially said farewell to its long-time mascot. But could it be true? [More]

Retire This: Ronald McDonald Ain't Going Nowhere

Retire This: Ronald McDonald Ain't Going Nowhere

A group of concerned individuals have politely suggested that Ronald McDonald should be retired along with the Marlboro Man and Joe Camel. McDonald’s has responded calling the clown “a force for good.” [More]

POLL: Should Ronald McDonald Retire?

POLL: Should Ronald McDonald Retire?

After a half century of scaring/entertaining children for McDonald’s, a health advocacy group is saying it’s time for Ronald McDonald to retire, not because he’s getting long in the tooth (and hasn’t managed to get any less creepy after all these years), but because they believe he’s enticing young kids into eating fast food. [More]

Ronald McDonald Is Dead, Unless He Isn't

Ronald McDonald Is Dead, Unless He Isn't

Michael Polakovs, a man credited with creating and playing Ronald McDonald in several 1960s commercials, has passed on to that big play area in the sky, the Telegraph reports. [More]

Ronald McDonald Goes Calypso

Man, Ronald McDonald’s pretty hot underneath all that ghoulish pancake. Another object lesson illustrating why girls shouldn’t wear so much make-up.

Ronald McDonald Vs. Evil Grimace

We’ve mentioned McDonald’s Grimace before, describing him as “gigantic, anthropomorphic taste bud, loathsomely pulsating through McDonaldland with an unslakeable thirst for frosty, gelatinous ooze.” We also mentioned that he used to be evil and initially had small arms.