Cut Monthly Bills In Half

Cut Monthly Bills In Half

This technique for getting companies to reduce your monthly bills is so classic and effective, it bears explicit reiteration.

US Bank Is A Liar

Sick of paying annual fees, Steve wanted to get out his NWA WorldPerks Visa Signature Card he had going on with US Bank.

Penny Arcade Tries to Cancel Unwanted Toaster Protection Racket

Penny Arcade Tries to Cancel Unwanted Toaster Protection Racket

Penny Arcade called up to cancel the Sears “payment protection plan” they never ordered.

Calculate Your AOL Retention Bonus!

Calculate Your AOL Retention Bonus!

An exciting add-on for the World of AOL Retention game, The Bonus Calculator!

The Hatchet Man of AOL Retention

The Hatchet Man of AOL Retention

Here’s a little ditty about an AOL hatchet man who took a perverse pleasure in firing retention consultants.

TimeWarner Dissolves AOL Retention Centers

TimeWarner Dissolves AOL Retention Centers

TimeWarner announced yesterday an AOL makeover ot make more money with less subscribers. The profit hinged on $1 billion in cost cuts mainly coming from, “the company’s extensive marketing effort to attract new customers and retain old ones,” NYT reports.

AOL Still Retaining Like A MoFugger

AOL Still Retaining Like A MoFugger

AOL may be free, but that didn’t stop them from calling up Matt W. in Chicago, begging him to come back. The rep offered Matt a “new” version of AOL called, “Security Edition.” After an initial “trial period,” Matt could continue using AOL for $9.95/month.

Further Confessions of Former AOL Retainers

Further Confessions of Former AOL Retainers

In light of today’s news that America Online’s content and services are going free, let’s glance at a polaroid of those halcyon days and Monte Carlo nights of yesteryear.

Former Elite AOL Retainer Interviewed

Former Elite AOL Retainer Interviewed

Tricks an AOL retainer used to keep people from cancelling:

Interview With Former AOL Retention Superstar

At his peak, our interviewee “saved” over 87% of the people who called him up to cancel their account. We’re still working on editing the whole thing, and in fact, have to get on the phone with another consultant in a second here, but we wanted to share this teaser clip with you.

Darker AOL Retainer Confessions

Darker AOL Retainer Confessions

Working as an AOL retainer can kill you.

A Little Birdy Went Tweet Tweet….

A Little Birdy Went Tweet Tweet….

…in the coal mine.