Random Chance In A Godless Universe: Three Good Customer Service Experience

Random Chance In A Godless Universe: Three Good Customer Service Experience

Now That’s A Knife

Now That’s A Knife

sthof butcher knife.

Crunch Gym Pleases Party Girl

Crunch Gym Pleases Party Girl

We love Carrie best amongst all our readers. Not only is she a party girl with a charming predilection for promiscuity (really, the best kind of party girl!) and who likes to shake a peach-perfect bottom to sultry grooves, but she’s officially on record as being willing to give us her digits if we ever met her in the middle of a line of blow at a sparkling metrosexual bash. Not only that, but unlike most of you complainers, she only writes us when a company treats her right. She’s an effervescent pixy and we wish this shrill, bitter site had more readers like her.

Joey’s Med Grill Lets Reader Off The Rack

We’re not implacable, inconsolable. We, as consumerists, can be appeased. Most of the time, all we want is a sincere “We know we fucked up.” That we scream so very loud here is testament to just how endangered the species of sincere corporate apologies really is.

Krap Kroger Gets It Wrong, Gets It Right

Krap Kroger Gets It Wrong, Gets It Right

Sure, they aren’t glamorous posts. No one diggs them; Xeni Jardin does not deign to cast her appraising eye over them. But we still make a point of posting the good along with the bad. After all, when an executive or CEO sees his company’s name here along with a complaint, we want them to know he’s done fucked up good. But we also want the same guy to have a bit of a glow when his company’s done something right.

Monday Morning Readers Round-Up

Monday Morning Readers Round-Up

Now that we are media darlings, the Consumerist tip line has been flooded with pleas of help, reasonable complaints and the ravings of lunatics… and, as usual, we want more!

Brownlee’s Mom Loves American Ramps

Brownlee’s Mom Loves American Ramps

spoon and writing indiginant critiques of the cell phone industry. Ben loves her. I tolerate her. My ex-girlfriends meet her at Roger le Grenouille whenever she goes to Paris to spend an evening talking about what an asshole I am.

Party Girl Gets Great Snort Sack from Beatnik Bags!

Party Girl Gets Great Snort Sack from Beatnik Bags!

When we saw party girl Carrie at one of Gawker’s hot, sexy Manhattanite parties, we — attached in tandem, belly to flabby belly, by the rusty staples of the artificial and obnoxious royal ‘we’ — made our way over to her to make our move.

Mo’ Moen In Customer Service, Please

Mo’ Moen In Customer Service, Please

Anyone ever noticed that the companies that offer the best customer service are always the ones that almost no one will ever have to call because they’re just too damn good? For example, Moen — a company that makes chrome kitchen faucets and other long-lasting plumbing fixtures.

Under Crescents and Scimitars, USBGeek Delivers

Under Crescents and Scimitars, USBGeek Delivers

Exhaling plumes of velveteen smoke from his hookah, propped up against an Ottoman, surrounded by Turkish succubi fluidly gyrating in diaphanous silks, Consumerist J.K. dreamed of a better world… a world where USB gadgets at hot, affordable prices would be delivered to Istanbul with an affordable shipping option.

Apple Doesn’t Want $2,000 From Euroweenie

Apple Doesn’t Want $2,000 From Euroweenie

John Brownlee here, slipping outside of the XXL Threadless brand ‘Royal We’ t-shirt I flabbily cohabitate with life partner Ben Popken.

Amazon Recommends Adoption Over Abortion

Amazon Recommends Adoption Over Abortion

According to the New York Times,

    “Until a few days ago, a search of Amazon’s catalog of books using the word “abortion” turned up pages with the question, “Did you mean adoption?” at the top, followed by a list of books related to abortion.”

Pummeled by Amazon.com’s Plogs

Pummeled by Amazon.com’s Plogs

On the internet, your sins are eternally extant.

We’re OCD for ObsessiveConsumption.com!

We’re OCD for ObsessiveConsumption.com!

Have you heard of ObsessiveConsumption.com?

Walmart Recommends African-American Films to Planet of the Apes Purchasers

Walmart’s at it again: