The Wall Street Journal says that this year, mall Santas are spending their breaks looking bleakly at the wall and salting their mugs of bourbon with bitter tears. Why? Because your kids keep sitting on their laps and acting like characters from a Loretta Lynn song. One Santa used to joke that bad kids would get socks, but no more:
This year, he stopped telling the joke. Too many children were asking for socks. “They’ve probably heard their parents say, ‘Geez, I wish I had some money to get them clothes,'” says Mr. Riemersma, 56 years old.