Walmart Recalls "Realistic Animals" Tainted With Lead

Walmart Recalls "Realistic Animals" Tainted With Lead

A plague of lead has stricken Walmart’s stock of “realistic animals”. Affected animals include farm animals, jungle animals, and even the feared dinosaur. The animals are currently trapped in chinsy cellophane bags clad shut by a brandless cardboard strip that proudly boasts: 88 Cents!

“Wal-Mart said independent testing revealed excessive levels of lead in the base material, not the surface coating.”