(davidrossharris)

Farmer Sticking It To The Man By Refusing To Pay 1.2M Pounds Of Raisins Into National Reserve

There are some stories out there in the news that are just absolutely begging for puns. To wit: A raisin farmer in California is battling the government in a case of sour grapes, raisin’ a stink over the feds’ demands that he pay at least $650,000 in unpaid fines and hand over 1.2 million pounds of unpaid raisins into the national reserve. We heard it through the grapevine. [More]

Sorry About The Rocks In Your Raisin Bread. Here's $5.

Sorry About The Rocks In Your Raisin Bread. Here's $5.

We’ve never really stopped to wonder what sort of compensation we would require if we found small rocks in our raisin bread, but we’re pretty sure that it’s more than $5. Maybe we’re being unrealistic, because when Michael Snyder found rocks in the raisin bread he bought from a bakery in Somerville, Massachusetts, he asked for 5 loaves of bread in compensation and settled for $5 instead.

China Rejects, Destroys Unsafe Food From The United States

China Rejects, Destroys Unsafe Food From The United States

China has rejected and destroyed three shipments from the United States that failed to meet China’s notoriously strict food safety standards. China’s General Administration of Quality Supervision, Inspection and Quarantine (GAQSIQ) objected to the shipments, which contained bee pollen, health capsules, and Sun-Maid Golden Raisins:

“The products failed to meet the sanitary standards of China,” the agency said in a brief notice posted on its Web site. No details were given on when or how the inspections were conducted.

We will be so bold as to suggest that the State Department respond to Beijing with the following: Kettle, this is Pot. You’re black. — CAREY GREENBERG-BERGER

Sun-Maid Raisin Girl Gets Xtreme Facial Peel

Sun-Maid Raisin Girl Gets Xtreme Facial Peel

Afternoon Freebies: FÜNDE RAZOR

Afternoon Freebies: FÜNDE RAZOR

Dell Game! Guess what we won today? What is the opposite of our dignity?