UPS agreed to refund $300 of Nick's shipping costs and to issue "a goodwill payment to him for his computer." Here's Nick's response:

So, a happy ending (thanks, I'm sure, to your site). Today, UPS contacted me, saying that since they couldn't find my computer, they were going to pay out the claim on the package and refund my shipping charges. All's well that ends well (that is, so long as they can get it delivered to the right address this time). Thanks for help in publicizing this, and the resources your site offers. I swear, you guys are better than the Better Business Bureau.

We don't really understand how paying for an insured computer that was destroyed adds up to 'goodwill' so much as honoring a stated policy, or why UPS searched their facilities after they admitted to delivering the package to a stranger, but hey, Nick's happy, and that's all that matters.

PREVIOUSLY: UPS Breaks, Steals Computer
(Photo: The Infamous Gdub)

"Taking it seriously" is a phrase companies use over and over again in public statements whenever they have bad PR. Our series of posts on occurrences of the phrase is our attempt to question how seriously companies are really taking these matters if every time they trot out this phrase by rote.

(Photo: Getty)

"Taking it seriously" is a phrase companies use over and over again in public statements whenever they have bad PR. Our series of posts on occurrences of the phrase is our attempt to question how seriously companies are really taking these matters if every time they trot out this phrase by rote.

(Thanks to David!) (Image: CNN)

This is an excerpt of Stephen's original complaint, posted over 18 months ago:

My most recent bout came with a company named Tiny Details based out of Syracuse, NY. My wife was interested in earning some extra money for us from home, a prospect that I found very appealing. What with our son and all, it's really not feasible for her to go to work, so finding her a way to draw income at home was ideal.

I found Tiny Details while researching along those lines. I considered the link pointing to it to be more legitimate than most (and trust me, I know a lot about links). The site seemed a bit unprofessional, which should have been a big tip-off, but I didn't find anyone saying anything negative about it. My wife was very excited at the prospect, as much as she loves arts and crafts.

Unfortunately, I didn't do my research as thoroughly as I should have. It wasn't until after we had bought a kit for my wife that I came across these Tiny Details customer complaints and some more recent warnings about Tiny Details. I also managed to find the Tiny Details Better Business Bureau report. I'm ashamed to say that I missed such glaring stop signs. I guess I must have been dreamy eyed over their false promises rather than incredulous as I rightfully should have been.

At any rate, I've cancelled our order and plan to seek reimbursement through whatever means necessary, up to and including legal action. I don't expect them to make it easy; companies like this never do. I fully suspect it's money that I'll never see again one way or another, in which case I'll take it as $55 worth of valuable education: If it seems too good to be true, it is. Do your research first, and do it right.

Email #1:

I am writing about the substantively incorrect postings that you have on your website.

I am asking that you remove this point immediately. Your representation of Tiny Details is inacurate and libelous.

I have forwarded this information to our company attorney, along with your domain registration information.

Please govern yourself accordingly.

Kristopher Buchan
President
Tiny Details, LLC

Email #2:

Mr. Ward,

You will be hearing from our attorney.

What you have posted is indeed libel.

I am in the process of seeking your address through your domain registrating information. You will be hearing from us shortly.

Kristopher Buchan

From WAHM.com

"You also reminded me that I had sent them a kit (to Christian Miniatures actually) on Nov. the 30th. I added a "Delivery Confirmation" on the package, and it states that they received it on Dec. the 2nd. I had returned a completed kit that needed corrections. It's the 21st already and I've heard nothing. I just called and they just have a recording stating that they're unavailable and to leave a message for a return call (yeah, like THAT'S gonna happen!). So, I just sent them an email with Deliver Receipt Proof. Two weeks ago they had told me they'd never received it, so they couldn't tell me anything about it. The receipt showed that they HAD received it. Hmmm, something fishy's going on here!!!"(posted by rtanza, December 2004)

"Well, I finally heard from Tiny Details today - it seems as though my returned materials were also "never received". I filed a complaint with the BBB. I foolishly did not send my materials with a return receipt so I really can't prove anything... but it's really not the money part of this that is so annoying to me, I just can't stand the idea of folks being taken advantage of like this. Oh well, live and learn..." (posted by scarletbrook, January 2005)

From Rip-Off Report

I decided to try sending them back their own perfect samples as my first sample to see if they were accepted. They made sure to reassure me that they wanted one sample sent back to them so they could inspect it and save me any trouble making a bunch of mistakes. The only problem with that was that I had to send them a sample and wait longer to see if it even passed their ridiclous inspection. Suprise! It didn't pass. Wow, go figure. Now I know I have been scammed. I even sent an e-mail to them saying that I sent them their own sample to see how truthful they were and they rejected it. I have yet to get a response. I'm sure that this is just another scam and that I'm out $55 because I was fooled into falling for it. (posted by Leila, April 2006)

But you can't get all ham-fisted with complaints about your service and try to sue former customers into silence, Buchan. Besides, Stephen's initial post is so vague that it doesn't say much more beyond "I decided not to do business with them." Based on Buchan's aggression towards an unhappy former customer who was just stating his opinion, we think Stephen made the right call.

"Tiny Details" [Project Paradox]
"Rather than listening to its critics, president of company threatens blogger with libel lawsuit" [Bloggasm]

RELATED
Tiny Details
"BBB Reliability Report for Tiny Details LLC" [Better Business Bureau]
(Photo: Paul Keleher)

Comcast PR rep Jen Khoury told Portfolio, Comcast informed our local employees about the hearing and invited them to attend... Some employees did attend, along with many members of the general public," adding that, "For the past week, the Free Press has engaged in a much more extensive campaign to lobby people to attend the hearing on its behalf."

Whichever side you believe, one thing is for certain: Comcast employees are very tired (exhibit A, exhibit B).

Response from Monster Cable on Article in the Consumerist

Monster would like to acknowledge and respond to the publishing of the Monster pricing from an employee at RadioShack in the article titled "Monster Cables, Monster Ripoff: 80% markups."

The article can be misread that consumers are paying inappropriate prices charged by our retailers for Monster Cable products. The article misleads the reader in citing retailer markups of 80% as if the retailer makes 80% profit margin on products that they sell. Anyone in retail knows that one does not calculate profit by markups, but by profit margins made on the sale as a ratio of what they paid for it. So in the example of the 19ft. HDMI-DVI cable that was highlighted as Retail $179.95, wholesale of $99.40, that's a profit margin of 44%, which is totally in line with what retailers choose to sell accessory items like Monster Cable. Also the DVI and the S-Video cable cited are both discontinued products using old cable technology. Most of the products listed in the article are 37% to 39% profit margins. This is much less than profit margins on other consumer products like clothing, jewelry, furniture, and accessories to other consumer products.

It's also misleading when the tone of the article alludes to Monster Cable ripping off consumers, when Monster cannot legally set retail pricing. This is clearly up to the retailer. However in defense of retailers of consumer electronics, it is typical that small items warrant higher profit margins, while large items like TV's have small profit margins. The consumer clearly wins in the electronics category.

We would also like to point out that Monster makes the highest quality cables in the world, but always with a variety of price points for the consumer to choose from. For example, with today's most popular digital connection, HDMI, the consumer has a wide range of performance choices with four models of Monster Advanced Speed Rated HDMI Cables, ranging from $49.95 to $99.95. The performance of each of these Speed Rated cables is independently verified by Simplay Labs www.simplayhd.com, so our customers know exactly the performance they are paying for. In addition, these prices are in line or lower than other high performance cables offered by Monster's competitors at retail locations throughout the country.

There is also a comment about digital cables not making a difference and that the only difference in digital cables is the price. This is simply not the case. HDMI Licensing, LLC, the group that develops the HDMI specification, has published two different cable speeds for the current 1.3 specification: Standard Speed at 2.23 Gbps, and High Speed at 4.95 Gbps, which is known as HDMI 1.3 Category 2. For more information, go to www.hdmi.org.

In fact, Steve Venuti, Vice President of Marketing for HDMI Licensing, LLC, stated in a recent Widescreen Review article:
http://www2.widescreenreview.com/127venuti.pdf

"...HDMI evolves as it continues to react to the demands of the marketplace. With the introduction of HDMI 1.3 in 2006, HDMI doubled the bandwidth of the specification, and with that, gave manufacturers the ability to design products that can output and receive signals at unprecedented levels...And where there is increased bandwidth, there is increased demand on the cable to deliver the HDMI signal."

This clearly states that not all HDMI digital cables are the same. Buying the best cables possible will insure that one always gets the best possible digital picture for the components they own.

For those who want to get the real facts on HDMI, please visit www.monstercable.com/HDMI/advancedhdmi.asp for the following videos:

1. The Constant Evolution of HDMI with Steve Venuti, Vice President of Marketing, HDMI Licensing, LLC
2. Certified HDMI Cable Performance with Joseph Lias, President of Simplay Labs, LLC

For those who want technical information on why there are different levels of HDMI Cables, one can reference the white paper on HDMI at http://www.monstercable.com/HDMI/whitepaper.asp, where you will learn about why different HDMI cables are needed.

For those who want to get an inside look on the testing of Monster's HDMI cables, visit www.monstercable.com/HDMI/advancedhdmi.asp for an eye opening video of Monster's quality R&D and testing.

The digital TV revolution is moving fast, as one sees from the introduction of 240Hz displays from TI and Ultra High Definition Displays from Samsung at CES this year. These advanced displays paves the way for vastly improved high definition components that will need even higher speed HDMI cables, all of which are available today from Monster's Advanced Speed Rated cables.

For those who want to know more about higher definition, Monster and Disney have partnered together on a DVD that educates customers on the various levels of higher definition and how to buy and set up for higher definition TV. The DVD is called The Higher Definition Home Theater Experience, and we would like to offer it at no charge to everyone who is visiting this site by sending your shipping address to the following email: pr@monstercable.com.

Monster has always made the highest quality products at reasonable prices. We stand behind the retailers that offer great service and advice to our customers at a fair profit and we hope that this additional information clarifies some of the confusion that the article might have generated.

1. As decided in Leegin v. PSKS, this statement, "Monster cannot legally set retail pricing. This is clearly up to the retailer..." is patently false. See "Supreme Court Allows Manufacturers To Dictate Minimum Prices, Screws Consumers"

2. Their response neatly sidesteps a giant section of the original post, so I'll reproduce it here:

The worst part isn't really the markup. Stereo equipment routinely has markups of 80 to 100 to 200% by the time it hits the shelves. It's the initial inflated price, and how gadget stores try to push the cables so hard, telling people that Monster cables offer superior picture and sound then what you would get with another cable. But that simply isn't the case. Our sister site Gizmodo ran a battery of tests and found Monster cables are for the most part, completely unnecessary. (see The Truth About Monster Cable - Grand Finale (Part III), HDMI Cable Battlemodo Resumes, The Truth About Monster Cable, Part 2 (Verdict: Cheap Cables Keep Up...Usually), and The Truth About Monster Cable).

4. Monoprice.com.

PREVIOUSLY: Monster Cables, Monster Ripoff: 80% Markups

The company I work for orders all of their computers from Dell. About 4 months ago we started receiving random Adobe Acrobat Standard CDs & licenses for free with every single computer that we purchase. We did not request these CDs. At first, they came inside of the box with the computer. Soon, they started arriving in a padded envelope. After that, they began arriving in their own box, complete with paper padding, and a padded envelope. We have received well over 100 of these.

Christian, just wanted to circle back and let you know that we're working this now. As much as we would like this to be a very simple fix it isn't. But you do have our commitment that we will have this fixed in the next six months. Two things we are looking at:

1. Option to exclude all manuals and CDs from packaging at time of order. And, an option to have one set delivered for multiple systems.

2. A move to packaging alternatives

We'll be sure to keep you posted.

Best,
Sean

Dell and the environment: green is out, brown is in [Technologist For Hire]
Update on Dell's Environmental Impact [Technologist For Hire]

(Thanks to James and Kevin!)

At one point, with passengers assembled in the ship's theater, she said, "the attorney jumped up and grabbed the microphone away from the assistant cruise director and said: 'We're taking over the stage! We have a petition!'"

There was once a time on the bounding main when a captain would not kowtow to rebels armed merely with a petition, but the world is now watching everything. News accounts in London and elsewhere were following the plight of the storm-tossed Sapphire Princess.

"There was a big shouting match with the captain," she said. "One passenger was telling everybody he was captain of a yacht back home." He stormed the bridge with Google Earth printouts, she said, and demanded to show the captain how to navigate around the storm.

As the ship approached its final port, near Beijing, a few passengers threatened to barricade themselves in their staterooms unless they got $1,000 in chits and a free cruise. Resistance collapsed when the captain noted that the police in Beijing would probably not be in the mood for negotiation, Ms. Spencer Brown said.

Modern mutiny is not about careening headfirst into storms to scoop up trinkets from exotic locales. Like any customer response, its purpose is to escalate—albeit with outlandish drama—a complaint to decision makers who can offer a solution. The would-be pirates onboard the Sapphire Pricess didn't win a free tip or a grand of casino blow, but Princess did offer $250 for onboard spending and a 50% discount on a future cruise.

Growing Rebellion on the High Seas [NYT]
(Photo: The Associated Press)

Hartless said during an interview Thursday that the second and last time he visited the Burger King in Rutland was on June 18 when the lure of a home-style hamburger brought him to the restaurant.

"At that time they were promoting the Southwestern Whopper. Being from Texas I was excited. There's not a lot of spicy food here," he said.

Hartless, who moved to Fair Haven two years ago, said he didn't recognize anyone working at the restaurant and as far as he knows, no one in the restaurant knew him.

But while he was ordering his meal, he said the woman taking his order gave him a hard time about doing the order his way.

"I asked for a Whopper with jalapenos and hold the onions," he said. "The girl told me they didn't have jalapenos but the last time I was in there they gave me jalapenos. When I said that, she told me that they never carried jalapenos. I told her that was fine, but she pulled out a list and said, 'Like you see, we don't carry them.'

"When she read back my order a few minutes later it was wrong," he added.

Frustrated, Hartless said he sat in a booth to wait for his meal. From the angle of the booth, he said he couldn't see the kitchen or the person preparing his sandwich.

When his order was ready, he said he took it home with him to Fair Haven where he sat down to dinner with his spouse and stepdaughter. He said after making his gruesome discovery, the rest of the sandwiches were searched but no additional objects were found.

The urge to think "Attention Whore! Frivolous Lawsuit!" is mitigated because Hartless submitted to a polygraph test and seems genuinely troubled. The poor guy was plagued by nightmares, the kind you do not have unless you suffer from post-traumatic stress syndrome:

"I know it sounds kind of funny now but I had dreams where I would be doing random things and whatever I was holding would turn into the hamburger or the condom."

WHO: Lowe's
WHAT: Calling Christmas Trees "Family Trees"
WHERE: Lowe's Apologizes for 'Family Trees' in Christmas Catalog [CNSNNEWS]
THE QUOTE: "We take this situation very seriously and are redoubling our efforts to proofread those catalogs in the future."

WHO: Breyer's
WHAT: Changing ice cream formula by adding Tara gum.
WHERE: Breyer's Ice Cream Has Tara Gum [Consumerist]
THE QUOTE: "In response to your questions regarding the use of tara gum in its ice cream, Breyers is proud of its all-natural heritage. It's a position we take very seriously and one we work hard to maintain...By adding a natural gum to Breyers All Natural Vanilla ice cream, we've helped to protect the product's texture while staying true to our all-natural commitment."

WHO: Healthcare Distribution Management Association
WHAT: Counterfeit drugs being sold in pharmacies.
WHERE: Fake drugs show up in U.S. pharmacies [USA TODAY]
THE QUOTE: "We take it very seriously."

WHO: CPSC
WHAT: Cribs that kill babies.
WHERE: Baby Cribs Recalled After Three Deaths [AP]
THE QUOTE: "When we learn of a crib-related death, we take it very seriously."

WHO: Bell Mobility
WHAT: A "Pimp" ringtone referencing "ho's" and featuring the sound of women getting slapped.
WHERE: Bell Mobility hangs up voice of terror ringtone [National Post]
THE QUOTE: After women's shelters complained, Bell said, "We learned from the Pimp Tones incident and Bell does take these concerns very seriously."
BONUS: Later in the year, there were complaints about a different "Pimp Tone," this one had a woman screaming, "Don't touch me! Get back! No! No-o-o!" Bell said, "Obviously, the opinion of our customers and the public is very important to us and we take it very seriously."

WHO: Boston
WHAT: Hand-made LED signs featuring characters from the "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" cartoon.
WHERE: Boston drops charges against Mooninite terror cell leaders [BoingBoing]
THE QUOTE: "I hope the message goes out to all guerrilla marketers who plan on doing business in Boston that we take the public safety of those who live and work here very seriously."

WHO: ConEd
WHAT: Revelation that they outsource their manhole smelting to nearly naked Indians paid dollars a day.
WHERE: New York Manhole Covers, Forged Barefoot in India [NYT]
THE QUOTE: "We were disturbed by the photos. We take worker safety very seriously."

WHO: United Fresh Fruit and Vegetable Association
WHAT: E.coli in bagged lettuce
WHERE: Unseen danger in bagged salads [MSNBC]
THE QUOTE:
Q: The Food and Drug Administration and the California authorities say that the E.coli outbreaks came from bag lettuce. You disagree?
A: Well, it's certainly their firm belief and we take it seriously.

(Photos: sonyaseattle, DCvision2006, J. Adam Huggins. "Public Relations" image by Ben Popken)
Additional reporting by Alex Chasick and Meghann Marco.

We were disturbed by the photos...We take worker safety very seriously.

New York Manhole Covers, Forged Barefoot in India [NYT via Gothamist]

For instance, China reported that only 82% of the food tested in medium and large cities met safety standards, and that although "it believes 99 percent of its food exports meet safety standards, only about 80 percent of food sold domestically has passed inspections."

In addition to the arrests, China announced it has banned 13 toxic pesticides from being produced in the country, and that since July, 1,000 tons of fake products have been intercepted at Chinese ports and recalled or destroyed.

"774 Arrests in China Over Safety" [New York Times]
(Photo: Getty)

From SFWeekly:

Early last month my father, a retired Methodist pastor in Red Bluff, three hours north of San Francisco, ordered a cup of coffee for himself at Starbucks. Before Dad picked up the coffee, the barista bumped it off the counter. It spilled on the front of Dad's pants, burning his crotch, then running down his legs and settling into his shoes.

Instead of running to get some ice, the barista grabbed a questionnaire.

"I don't remember all the questions, because I was thinking, 'What am I going to do with this burn?'" Dad recalls. "There was a man in the shop who was a male nurse. He came from where he was sitting and said, 'I've been watching this, and I'm a nurse, and I must say to you, you must not fill out this form. You must take yourself to the bathroom and make sure you get some water on your foot.'"

The nervous employee persisted. "He said, 'I'm almost done.' I said I had to go to the bathroom and cool my foot," Dad recalled.

The resulting burn was so bad that Dad had to go to the emergency room, get the welts on his foot treated, and take pain medication so strong he wasn't supposed to drive for three weeks. His hospital visit and medicine cost around $500.

"I thought they'd call and say, 'We heard you were injured, and we want to know what we can do in response to that, and these are our protocols, and we want to do what we can,'" Dad said.

Such a humane approach would apparently fall outside the guidelines of a secret corporate "program" Starbucks has in place to deal with scalding incidents.

"Do we have a policy in place for responding? Yes, we do. We have a policy in place. I can't really give you details," Darrow said.

She said that scalding incidents do happen at Starbucks stores, but that it's a secret how often.

Can't you explain how you care for people who are scalded in your stores? I asked.

"No, because, first of all, we don't give specifics on the program," she said.

Did you just say "program?" I asked.

"Our scalding incident program," Darrow said. "They have guidelines for how to respond. I'm not sharing those, because they are part of an internal practice."

Accidents happen, Starbucks. What's the big mystery? In any case, if a Starbucks barista accidentally throws a pot of coffee at you, don't wait around for the questionnaire. It's important to get cool running water or cold moist cloths on your burn as soon as possible. Don't use ice or ice water, and don't rely on Starbucks for first aid.

Burning Brew [SF Weekly] (Thanks, Scott!)
(Photo:smcgee)

The government placed part of the blame for the lead paint recall on Mattel and RC2, suggesting that they should have exercised more oversight.

"To prevent loopholes in quality control, overseas brand owners should improve their product design and supervision over product quality," the watchdog agency said.

China bans exports by 2 toy makers [LA Times]
(Photo: Violator3)

It seems that this offer was attractive to Procter and Gamble, because they've entered one of their charitable programs (which relies on their water purifying technology to provide safe drinking water to children) into the contest. And it looks like they may win.

Amex claims that the entry is legit because although the idea was entered by a Proctor and Gamble employee (who, by the way, is the director of the program), the "fulfilling organization" will be UNICEF. Ostensibly, UNICEF could then choose not to purchase the water purification technology from P&G, however unlikely that would be. From the Member's Project Website:

This project idea was submitted by a Cardmember who is employed at Proctor & Gamble, but the project idea Cardmembers are voting on is not the P&G's clean water program with PSI (Population Services International). American Express has selected UNICEF as the organization that will fulfill and bring the project idea to life. If this project wins, UNICEF will receive the final award money and make the decision about what technologies and purifiers they will use to clean water.

Any Cardmember was able to submit a project idea regardless of his or her affiliation with a for profit corporation or a non profit organization. Many project ideas were submitted by individuals with such affiliations. Decisions about which fulfilling organizations will bring the project ideas to life were made by American Express, not by the Cardmembers who proposed the project ideas.

Procter & Gamble is in the midst of making the world's clean-water crisis its primary philanthropic mission, using its Pur-brand household water-purification system. It reported last week that a study by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention suggests that a system such as Pur is effective in cutting death rates from water-borne illnesses.

P&G, too, is keeping an eye on its bottom line while doing good. "It's a cause-related issue, but we'll also learn things about low-income consumers that are going to help P&G overall," says Greg Allgood, P&G's director for children's safe drinking water.

And what is the motive of the Child Safe Drinking water project? According to the New York Times, P&G will sell its various water purification products in the US, and use the profits to distribute more of its product overseas. This information won't be noted on the product's packages. Why? From the NYT:

The packages could note that profits will go to Population Services International, the nonprofit group that actually handles the distribution of Pur overseas, but that is not a well-known name. "We don't think it would be understandable to consumers," Mr. Allgood said.

Procter is also traveling incognito in the American Express Member's Project, a Web-based initiative that encourages people to submit ideas for solving a societal problem. American Express cardholders vote for their favorites, and American Express will award up to $5 million for the winning idea.

Mr. Allgood entered the science and theory behind the Children's Safe Drinking Water program. But he said that the Member Project's rules precluded him from naming it, or mentioning Pur or Procter.

Procter & Gamble's project has a fairly significant lead in the voting, which closes on August 7th.

Is Procter & Gamble (or the P&G employee) doing something wrong by entering its products in the contest? Here's the Child Safe Drinking Water blog, which clearly shows P&G's logo, but is presented as if the project is somewhat less significantly funded than one might imagine. After all, P&G calls "Children's Safe Drinking Water" their "global signature program," and according to the Times funds the project through sales of their products to US consumers. For comparison's sake, here's what "Children's Safe Drinking Water's" actual official site looks like.

So it's probably not hurting for cash. Then again, we find it hard to take what amounts to a gigantic PR clusterf*ck for Amex too seriously. If people are voting for children to get drinking water, and the children will get the drinking water...

What do the Consumerists think? Should P&G's project be disqualified in favor of projects from non-profit organizations?

Children's Safe Drinking Water Official Site
Amex Member's Project
A Reverse Profit Strategy Faces a Commercial Test [NYT]
Starbucks takes up cause for safe drinking water [USA Today]
Children's Safe Drinking Water Blog

Member's Project Thread Full of Angry Amex Members

Sprint eventually apologized and agreed to reinstate all the accounts of those who called in and identified themselves as members of the armed forces.

Really, though, the Sprint robots were just doing their job:cancel the account, without prejudice, of anything unprofitable that moved.

The flip-side of course being that if you want to cancel Sprint without early termination fee, just figure out a way to make more than 50% of your calls for a few months while roaming. We hear the Army still has a few open slots.

Sprint Giving Military Members the Boot [SprintUsers.com]

(Photo: foundphotoslj)

If there is a negative image based on a poor record of reliability, safety, or labor relations, "please don't hire a PR company to fix it," says strategy professor Phil Rosenzweig..."Correct the underlying problem first.

What Price Reputation? [Business Week] (Thanks to FMF!)

This promotion is not new and has actually been around for several years now (at least 3 years or so), and it's usually used, when/where necessary, as a short-term retention promotion. That said, this is by no means something Vonage uses broadly. Less than 1% of Vonage's total customers are currently in the $3.99 program. Since this is such a small number of Vonage's overall customers, the plan's low price point does not significantly impact the company's financials.

Vonage offers $3.99/month to retain customers [VOIP & Gadget Blog via ZDNet and VOIP Watch]
(Photo: Scot (PhotoNoob.net))

There are, as the Consumerist piece makes clear, some perfectly valid reasons for embargoes to exist. But they're mainly just another way for the makers of news to control the journalistic process, just as the precious gift of "access" prevents journalists at White House press conferences these days from saying... well, anything much.

Interestingly, in the ensuing, "moderate amount of hell [that] broke loose," the locus of outrage wasn't Intel, but other journalists, who castigated him and blacklisted him from ever being linked, until they forgot about it years later and began linking him again. — BEN POPKEN

Embargoes, NDAs, and loopholes [How To Spot A Psycopath]
(Image: Stu Shepard)

A publicist releases information to journalists with the stipulation that it can't be reported until a certain time and date. This allows the company to coordinate news coverage with their public announcement, new ads, and other marketing initiatives. For their part, the embargo allows journalists the time needed to publish a "breaking" story that's well-developed, fact-checked, has multiple quotes, and comes in on deadline.

Sometimes the gentleman's agreement is arranged in advance between the publicist and the journalist, or a working arrangement with the news organization at large. Sometimes, publicists simply send out releases already declared embargoed (such has been the case with every embargoed release we've ever received).

If an embargo is broken, the company might blacklist the reporter or news organization from future juicy tidbits, and the reporter's ethics will be called into question.

Hardly headline news, but we thought you would be interested in hearing about this way in which corporations try to control the journalism process. — BEN POPKEN

(Photo: Getty)

Little is said on the ISP's part, so in the interest of fairness, let us present several links explaining why Net Neutrality is the worst thing since moldy bread. — BEN POPKEN

• Mike McCury: It's important to upgrade the "creaky" internet.
• Scott Cleland: Net Neutrality = Socialism
• Hands Off The Internet: Grassroots anti-net neutrality group, except that it's funded by telcos.
• Don't Regulate! Faux-amateur animation explains how Net Neutrality is a plot to replace network admins with fat cat bureaucrats.
• Debunking Net Neutrality Myths: Telco-sponsored blog debunking the "myth" of Net Neutrality. Net Neutrality is a unicorn.
• National Cable & Telecommunications Association's 30-second political style ad against Net Neutrality. While you're there, visit the sidebar items under the heading, "Cable: A Great American Success Story."

It's got computer technicians rappelling out of helicopters, Fabio, and a three-day laptop repair turnaround time.

Perhaps the inhabitants of Geek Squad City will be a breed better than those that populate local Best Buys.

Footnotes:
Geek Squad Gouges
Deja Vu: Geek Squad Gives Elderly Couple's Hard Drive to Flea Market
Welcome to Best Buy! How Can We Steal Your Computer Today?
Best Buy Sold 'Destroyed' Hard Drive at Flea Market

Thank you for your email. I do not have a formal comment from McDonald's for publication, however I can confirm that the blog from the 2004 MONOPOLY at McDonald's winner has closed, as the MONOPOLY at McDonald's promotion ended yesterday, October 30."

Thank you, JSH&A, for confirming that when you go to Mcdmillionwinner, you get a Blogger.com 404 not found.

Also, we would interpret JSH&A's ability to confirm the closing of one blog as a tacit admission of ownership. Not that we didn't know that already.

We've asked JSH&A to
keep us in mind if McDonald's develops any thoughts on why the blogs had no official notices on them demarcating that they were official McDonald's blogs.

Previously: EXCLUSIVE: McDonald's Promotes Monopoly Game With Flogs

Of course, now that the Edelman authorship has been laid bare, the blogs are as inutile for Walmart as they were for consumers.

Edelman Reveals Two More Wal-Mart 'Flogs' [MediaPost] (Thanks to Dmitry!)

Public Relation Demonstrates Commitment to Humanitarian Efforts

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

NEW YORK (BUSINESS WIRE) - The Public Relations Industry is celebrating its 100th Birthday with a cake as spectacular and over the top as the business itself. With more than 150,000 pounds of decadence, the cake is set to capture its place in the Guinness Book of World Records as the World's Largest Birthday Cake ever.

Jointly funded by the Greater New York PR Council (GNYPR) and Warehouse Sam's Party Supplies, the monstrosity will be on display for the next two weeks at the Javits Convention Center in New York City. It will then go on tour visiting 14 cities throughout the U.S. It is scheduled to return to New York early February to be carted and shipped to Darfur, Africa. The cake's final destination is aid to the victims of the humanitarian crisis there.

Mmm, starving kids love month-old cake. The center is filled with immunizations, wheat, gas and electrical generators, right?

Rest of the press release, after the jump...

"PR is larger than life and we don't do anything on a small scale," said Aimee Goodman, acting president of GNYPR. "The best part is that not only will this gigantic cake be enjoyed by thousands throughout the country, this gives us an extraordinary opportunity to spread the word and empower individuals to help address the horrors in Darfur."

According to a report published last Friday by the UN Commission for Human Rights, Darfur refugees are systematically being starved. One aid worker in Kailek described what happened there as the "politics of starvation." Studies estimate at least 200,000 people have died during the conflict. Nine children are reported to die from malnutrition every day.

In order to qualify for the Guinness Book of World Records, the World's Largest Birthday Cake had to meet specific requirements set forth by the organization. The cake must contain standard ingredients in the correct proportions, and be prepared in the same manner as a normal-sized cake. The final product must be a single cake and look like a traditional birthday cake.

Ready to claim a page in the Guinness Book of World Records, PR's whopping 150,000 pound pastry is made of 36,282 individual half-sheet cakes. Ingredients include 2,957,400 cups of white sugar, 562,320 1/2 cups of butter (unsalted), 18,300 eggs, 2,931,045 cups of all purpose flour, 500 cups of baking powder, 129 gallons of vanilla extract, 2 gallons of buttermilk, 1 cup chopped nuts (walnut) and a pinch of cinnamon to taste. The finished cake, measuring 183 feet long, 79 feet wide and 32 inches high, contains nearly 63 million calories!

The unveiling of the World's Largest Birthday Cake will kick off a birthday celebration that will include a drop in by a Flying Elvis, a free concert by Boogie Nights and Kool & The Gang, and a fireworks extravaganza."

We had to double check to make sure, but this not lifted from The Onion.

UPDATE: It's satire. Explains why we couldn't find an external link! Guess we really swallowed that one.

Even if it's fake, it's still true.

Collateral Damage asks: "Hmmm, what if you substitute the words "human being" for PR rep? If you did indeed make a commitment to him then aren't you obligated to keep it? Isn't that one of the reasons Consumerist exists: To record when companies do not keep their commitments to their consumers?"

A PR rep is not the same as a human being. Consumers are the victims, often of PR folk's disinformation campaigns.

Here's what happened: months later, we told a small podcast two details about the off-the-record conversation. A week later, Krempasky wrote us an email dripping with thinly veiled venom. We exchanged emails increasing in rancor. At the end, we decided we were sick of keeping the conversation secret anymore and decided to out it all.

We may be paid and thereby "pro" bloggers, but we never went to j-school. There's no "ethics" class at Gawker University. We do have a duty to a good story.

What's of greater service to consumers and reader? Not reneging to a PR agent on his influence peddling session with you or disclosing or how Walmart, through said agent, is trying to squelch blogosphere dissent? In this case, you got a twofer. A bargain!

Looking back, we regret saying, "Ok" when Krempasky declared, "This is off the record." However, we don't regret breaking that promise, and will gladly do it again for our readers. Using "professional courtesy" to hide the influence peddling of the agents of the world's largest retailer is the very skulduggery and backroom dick-shaking we abhor.

One regret does linger... that we didn't kiss and tell sooner.

Previously:
• Krempasky, Walmart Apologist, Responds To Consumerist Outing
• Walmart Is Mad At The Consumerist

Ben, thanks for the post. But lets be clear on a couple points.

I asked for, and you agreed to, a candid and private conversation about a number of different topics, one of which was Wal-Mart, another was Edelman. I didn't declare that it was off the record, I asked you. Quite the difference.

Nope, you didn't ask, you declared.

Despite your characterization of the conversation, the main substance as reflected in my notes was my very direct offer to help your readers resolve consumer problems with any of my clients. Bloggers and blog readers ought to matter to companies, and too many businesses wait for their customers to come complaining instead of proactively trying to fix problems. At the time you expressed that you'd be interested in that. But you never took advantage of that opportunity.

Why should it be our responsibility to drop the complaints in your lap? They're right there on the blog. You already watch us with the Nielsen BuzzMetrics corporate grade blog-monitoring site. What prevented Edelman from stepping up on any number of the complaints we've posted about your clients, like Walmart and Starbucks? Where were you with the Boiled Walmart Baby? The withdrawn Starbucks coupon? The opportunity lost is yours, friend.

I made the trip to Brooklyn to meet you for a drink because, among other things, I'm a fan of the consumerist. It's a well-written and entertaining blog. But it appears I misunderstood your interest in actually helping your readers (and, frankly, helping the businesses they frequent to do a better job) but instead just drive up the sitemeter hits.

You made a trip out to Brooklyn only after your employee, Chris Abraham, made a series of blunders in approaching us. We help out our readers by publishing their complaints and, when warranted, following up leads. Our duty is to the story, not to do your job for you.

And as far as this post - well, I'll leave it to others to judge its veracity, considering you're entirely comfortable with having made a committment and then ignored it.

Again, cheers and good luck.

The morality of reneging on a committment to a PR rep... sounds like the basis for a good piece of sketch comedy.

Then, Grahm Crow, a PR rep for Waggener Edstrom Worldwide, retained by T-Mobile, saw our post. He wrote in wanting to help. We put him in touch with David. Today, sweet, sweet, resolution.

David writes:

"I want to thank you guys for helping me get my T-Mobile issue taken care of I was contacted today and told that they were giving me a credit for the full amount of the overage.

I wish it hadn't taken the amount of effort that it did, but I do appreciate that T-Mobile finally realized the best way to balance their interest and mine. ;) Thanks for the help and thanks to T-Mobile for coming around on this."

The Consumerist, making dreams come true.

Waggener Edstrom Worldwide has several white papers with suggestions for companies and PR professionals on engaging blogs. Perhaps someone will be so kind as to forward them on to appropriate parties at Edelman.

We didn't tell you about this fateful meeting until now because one, we had agreed not to, but more importantly, we wanted to play it out and see what happened with Edelman. Not much did, we never did get that exclusive behind the scenes factory tour to see where they convert undocumented immigrant workers into budget home furnishings. We did, however, exchange a series of bitchy emails with Mike Krempasky. For instance, after the jump, what he said today after he saw this podcast go up...

UPDATE: Mike rebutts and we retort.

Subject: Ben, a quick follow up
From: "Krempasky, Michael"
Date: 12:31 PM
To: tips@consumerist.com

I remain impressed with your professionalism, although I now consider myself well educated about your perspective on the notion of an informal and off the record conversation.

Cheers and good luck.

From: Ben Popken [mailto:tips@consumerist.com]
Sent: Wed 9/27/2006 12:36 PM
To: Krempasky, Michael
Subject: Re: Ben, a quick follow up

What development is this in reference to?

Subject: RE: Ben, a quick follow up
From: "Krempasky, Michael"
Date: 12:37 PM
To: tips@consumerist.com

Love the podcast.

From: Ben Popken [mailto:tips@consumerist.com]
Sent: Wed 9/27/2006 12:41 PM
To: Krempasky, Michael
Subject: Re: Ben, a quick follow up

Maybe Edelman can make a podcast on how restricting the free expression of information contributes to a healthy republic.

Subject: RE: Ben, a quick follow up
From: "Krempasky, Michael"
Date: 12:41 PM
To: tips@consumerist.com

Hmm, what a fascinating perspective. Here I thought it was a question of courtesy and professionalism, not to mention committment.

Subject: Re: Ben, a quick follow up
From: Ben Popken
Date: 1:02 PM
To: Krempasky, Michael

Guess I have better things to do.

Now that we've outed this, guess we're going to have to tell you about Walmart's trikes for tots program they made based off a comment in one of our posts. A more blatant attempt to be nice, we've never seen. And that time we and Mike laughed about the Dead or Alive video. Ah, good times.

UPDATE: Mike rebutts and we retort.

"Napster is willing to pay you money, and all you have to do is keep your site lookin' pretty. Napster...provides sites like yours with streaming flash-based links to their library. Super-easy!... You get 5% for downloads and $10 dollars for each subscription. Give us an email or call and say, "my site wants a sugar daddy", we'll hook you up."

Barf.

Brian was only one stop on Nadine's fun train, similar pitches went out to other blogs, including one by marketing professional, John Scalzi. He promptly dissected the letter and publicly spread its guts, including the President of Guerilla PR, Michael Leifer. Turns out Nadine made an unauthorized "cool kid" remix of the company's pitch letter designed for comedy blogs. After spotting her craftwork in the stockades, Leifer fired her.

Starting to see a trend among companies when blogs expose their bad behavior: Apologize, declare the employee rogue, fire their ass, and say it will never happen again.

Full copy of the offending email, after the jump...

—-—-—-—-— Forwarded Message: —-—-—-—-—
From: "Nadine Dunn"
To: [redacted}@kotaku.com
Subject: Napster Loves Ya!
Date: Tue, 11 Jul 2006 20:18:05 +0000

Hello Brian

Napster is willing to pay you money, and all you have to do is keep your site lookin' pretty. Napster has taken their catalog of over 2 million songs and comedy routines and acquired the rights to provide sites like yours with streaming flash-based links to their library.

These cool links will add to your content and enable users to have a No-cost interactive audio experience.

Super-easy! Your users can cut and paste these audio links into their blogs, MySpace pages, etc. and you collect money. You get 5% for downloads and $10 dollars for each subscription. If you'd like to see an example of what it will look like on your site , checkout www.gumpop.com

Give us an email or call and say, "my site wants a sugar daddy", we'll hook you up.

Best,
Nadine

Nadine Dunn
guerilla PR, Inc.
212-[redacted]
nadine@guerillapr.com
www.guerillapr.com

Part of our soul yearned to rip into Edelman like a batch of Amy's Ice Cream. But then, we decided to let it go and rise above, a little fluffy cloud, mainly to avoid playing into their sticky mandibles. Try as we might, we could not avoid posting this gem a reader sent in. Patrick says he sent the Edelman post to a friend of his works there and, "Thought his response would warm your soul."

"Let's be honest here...for every PR outreach that fails in the blogosphere, there are probably at least 3 that work. You'd be floored if I showed you some of the sites that are Edelman-driven. Not all bloggers are as shrewd as you think...and when they are, Edelman just buys them (see the Micro Persuasion blog)."

Of course, in some quarters, reproducing this statement qualifies as positive PR. Ergo, we expect our chocolate cheesecake for life certificates anytime now.

Full disclosure: Shortly after yesterday's post, an Edelman VP offered to take us out for drinks, so perhaps our wish will come true.

Fuller disclosure: Outsi