TSA Screeners At JFK Admit To Stealing $160K From Passengers

TSA Screeners At JFK Admit To Stealing $160K From Passengers

It must be tempting to be a TSA screener, seeing bags full of expensive goodies going through your scanner and knowing how easy it would be to make those bags disappear. Two TSA agents at JFK Airport in NYC gave into that temptation, swiping at least $160,000 from travelers. [More]

Some Madoff Victims May Have To Give Money Back

Some Madoff Victims May Have To Give Money Back

Some of Madoff’s investors took money out of the scheme — not knowing it was a scheme. Now it seems those people might be out of luck — and will have to pay the money back, says Reuters. [More]

Inspector General Admits SEC Pretty Much Sucks At Its Job

Inspector General Admits SEC Pretty Much Sucks At Its Job

The SEC’s inspector general has released a jailhouse interview in which his royal Ponziness, Bernie Madoff himself, explains that he got away with his scheme because the SEC basically sucks.

Guy Who Made More Than $7 Billion Off Madoff Found At Bottom Of Pool

Guy Who Made More Than $7 Billion Off Madoff Found At Bottom Of Pool

Jeffry Picower, the only Madoff investor to wind up on the Forbes list of the 400 richest Americans, was found dead at the bottom of his pool Sunday, says the AP. He is accused of making more than $7 billion off of Madoff’s ponzi scheme.

Super-Rich People Have $300 Billion Less

Super-Rich People Have $300 Billion Less

Forbes says that the collective worth of the 400 richest people fell by $300 billion or 19% to $1.27 trillion. The top reasons for the decline were market turmoil, plummeting real estate prices, fraud and divorce.

Half of Madoff "Victims" Didn't Actually Lose Money

Half of Madoff "Victims" Didn't Actually Lose Money

Most investors who put money into Bernard Madoff’s funds over the decades he was in business came up losers when the house of cards collapsed. Some, however, lost more than others. According to a new court filing, about half of the investors who had accounts in Madoff’s Ponzi scheme at the time it was shut down didn’t actually lose any of the original principal they put into the funds.

Bernie Madoff's Beach House Sells For $8.75 Million

Bernie Madoff's Beach House Sells For $8.75 Million

An unidentified person has offered $8.75 million cash–more than the asking price–for Bernie Madoff’s beachfront home in Long Island. Bidders made sealed offers for the property, and the realtors say they won’t reveal any more details until after the deal closes. The house is supposedly very fancy, but if we lived there we’d just tear it up looking for hidden piles of cash. This is why we can never have anything nice.

Bernard Madoff's Penthouse Now On Sale For $7.5 Million

Bernard Madoff's Penthouse Now On Sale For $7.5 Million

If you’ve ever wanted to live like the King of Ponzi Schemes, now’s your chance. Bernard Madoff’s penthouse at 133 East 64th Street in New York is on the market, and can be yours for a mere $7.5 million. The U.S. Marshal Service, which is liquidating Madoff’s assets, gave a guided tour, and The New York Post captured it on video. Inside, a shoe closet to make Imelda Marcos jealous, Ruth and Bernie’s separate bedrooms, the shelves that once held monogrammed “BLM” shirts, and Deputy Marshal Roland Ubaldo doing his best Chad Rogers impression.

Madoff Eligible To Scam Again In Only 150 Years

Madoff Eligible To Scam Again In Only 150 Years

A federal judge has sentenced Bernard L. Madoff to 150 years in prison, after which time we assume he’ll drink the blood of the living, hang out a shingle, and start soliciting “investments.”

Brooklyn Cab Driver Convinces You He Has A Hedge Fund, Steals $20 Million

Brooklyn Cab Driver Convinces You He Has A Hedge Fund, Steals $20 Million

Oh look, another Mini-Madoff! Meet Alan Fishman, 49, a livery cab driver from Brooklyn, NY who convinced people he was a hedge fund mastermind.

Judge To Madoff: Hope You Like The Look Of Cinder Blocks, Douchebag

Judge To Madoff: Hope You Like The Look Of Cinder Blocks, Douchebag

No more $7 million penthouse. Today was Madoff’s first full day at the Metropolitan Correction Center, where he’ll be spending some quality time while awaiting sentencing. ABCNews has some insights about the facility and its amenities.

Feds Arrest Virginian For $11 Million Ponzi Scheme

Feds Arrest Virginian For $11 Million Ponzi Scheme

The Ponz is everywhere! Seriously, was anyone doing any real investing over the past several years? John M. Donnelly of Charlottesville, Virginia, was arrested earlier this week and “indicted for fraudulently taking at least $11 million from as many as 31 investors in an alleged Ponzi scheme,” says their local paper the Hook. He was promising investors returns of up to 22% annually, but naturally had failed to make any investments with his clients’ money since 2002. One anonymous person—who may or may not have been a client, we don’t know—told the paper, “I visited his office once. He had a bunch of computers. It seemed like a very sophisticated operation.”

SEC Orders Cali Ponzi Scheme To "Disgorge" "Ill-Gotten Gains"

SEC Orders Cali Ponzi Scheme To "Disgorge" "Ill-Gotten Gains"

The SEC has busted another Ponzi scheme and ordered its operators to “disgorge their ill-gotten gains.” In this one, Anthony Vassallo of “Equity Investment Management and Trading” recruited investors through his church by saying he had a computer program that would guarantee a 3.5% return on stocks. Eventually he stopped trading and paid off investors using other investor’s money, while shoveling the rest of the funds into other schemes and scams. Vassallo was eventually busted when his investors ganged up on him and said his reports were phony-baloney.

Madoff Pleads Guilty, Could Get 150 Years

Madoff Pleads Guilty, Could Get 150 Years

Well, it’s official. Bernie Madoff has plead guilty to 11 counts of fraud, money laundering, perjury and theft. The maximum amount of prison time for these crimes is 150 years.

No Evidence That Madoff Did Any Trading For His Clients In 13 Years

No Evidence That Madoff Did Any Trading For His Clients In 13 Years

Oh, Madoff. You sly one. The firm liquidating your operation has found no evidence that you actually bought or sold any securities for your customers in the past 13 years.

http://consumerist.com/2009/02/17/theres-been-another-suicide-in/

There’s been another suicide in connection with the Madoff fraud case. The investor was a former British soldier who invested his life savings in two hedge funds who in turn put the money in Madoff’s fund. [MSNBC]

Kevin Bacon, Sandy Koufax, Mets Owners All Got Screwed By Madoff

Kevin Bacon, Sandy Koufax, Mets Owners All Got Screwed By Madoff

A court filing in U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Manhattan made public a 162-page document listing his various clients, which include Hall of Fame Pitcher Sandy Koufax, actor Kevin Bacon, and the Wilpon family, owners of the New York Mets.

Remainders

Remainders

  • It’s a crack in the screen. No, it’s a hair. Guess which of these statements belongs to the Indian tech support.