And just in time for the 5th anniversary of September 11th comes yet another database for hackers to play with, this time courtesy of NSA . That's not the National Security Agency. The National Surveillance Agency, whose motto is "Extractum Quislibet Infideli."

Suspect someone of being a no good terrorist? Just go on over to NSATT.org and type their name and state in. You will then be able to search through the NSA records to see if they are likely to be baby killing Islamic fascists. You can also find out their full address (handy!) and the first five digits of their social security number. The last four have been blocked out for the prospective terrorist's security, leaving a mere 10,000 possible combinations to brute force your way through.

I decided to play around with it.

I tried typing in my name. Luckily, my family is not suspected of terrorism, despite numerous trips I've made to the Middle East. I tried Ben's name. Surely, he's a terrorist. But I was disappointed. I tried Gina Trapani of Lifehacker — without a doubt, the sweetest girl in the entire universe. No dice. But then I set my sights higher and tried Gawker overlord Nick Denton.

Holy crap! Now, I have no idea if this is the Nick Denton. But it certainly raises some startling questions, doesn't it? Is The Consumerist a terrorist front? Am I, unwittingly, a member of Al Qaeda?

The answer to all these questions, of course, is no, followed by "don't be retarded". 8 emails and 9 phone calls over a 6 year period to people who happen to be Native Muslims does not a terrorist make, let alone make them a "high terrorist threat."

This strikes me as a security and privacy nightmare. And, of course, there's no link at all to remove yourself from being searched by anyone with a mind to. Of course, there is a link to report someone as a terrorist. Handy, that.

I'm not sure what's worse: the government quantifying our terrorist threat level by phone calls and emails to Arabs, or then allowing anyone to just happily search through the results and try to hack it. But then a larger question emerges: is this site even affiliated with the government? According to the website, no. "The Agency is an independent, non-government organization and is in no way affiliated with any branch of any government or any company that provides telephone or telegraph communications services." So how the hell are they getting their information?

Are you or a loved one a filthy terrorist, according to the NSA? Do you have any idea what's going on here? Let us know in the comments.

UPDATE: Okay, yeah, totally fake. Which actually makes it a lot more entertaining.

"Plaintiffs have prevailed, and the public interest is clear, in this matter. It is the upholding of our Constitution," wrote the judge. Read the decision here. [PDF, 107kb]

Sweet. Now we can go back to playing terrorist telephone tag with impunity.

[via Cnet] (Thanks to Phil!)

"We sincerely hope that, in light of governing law and the national security concerns implicated by the requests for information, you will decline to open an investigation and close these proceedings, thereby avoiding litigation over the matter," the letter reads.

Let's see how well Maine lives up to its state motto of Dirigo, Latin for "I direct" or "I lead."

(Thanks to Jpac!)

Forcing the government to confirm or deny the transaction would violate laws against divulging state secret, U.S. District Judge Matthew F. Kennelly said.

Furthermore, since the activists could not prove that their individual records might be among the supposed records turned over, they had no basis for a lawsuit.

Let's see....

in order to prove their records were compromised, the activists need access to the records. However, the records are state secrets. Whether the records exist in a compromised state is a state secret. Whether or not there is a state secret... is also a state secret.

Ten thousand spoons and all you need is a hole in the head.

"...the policy represents a contract with customers, and that AT&T apparently does have the right to share customers' data as it sees fit."

The article goes on to suggest for those concerned, the only true recourse may be to switch to VoIP. In which case, you better check their policies too...

"Personal information isn't that confidential" [SF Gate] (Thanks to Philip!)

After that, you must agree to give them carte blanche ownership of all your phone records, or they shut off your service. Additionally, Ma Bell will track viewers watching its new video program, which cable and satellite operators are forbidden to do.

"While your account information may be personal to you, these records constitute business records that are owned by AT&T," the company said in a statement.

AT&T has been under fire recently as evidence surfaced of its major complicity in giving the government access to its customers call logs.

Spokesman for the company Marc Bien said there was "no linkage" between the revised policy and recent privacy concerns. Rather, AT&T wishes, "to make our policy much easier to read."

Some aren't buying AT&T's argument.

"They're obviously trying to avoid a hornet's nest of consumer-protection lawsuits," Chris Hoofnagle, a privacy consultant, told the SFGate. "They've written this new policy so broadly that they've given themselves maximum flexibility when it comes to disclosing customers' records."

Time to bust out your price-benefit charts and tinfoil hats.

"AT&T rewrites rules: Your data isn't yours" [SF Gate] (Thanks to Philip!)

We'll schedule the call and let you know how it goes.

Full letter after the jump.

Previously: HOWTO: Win $1000

Do we as consumers, as owners of our own vocal cords, as speakers of words coming out of our mouths, have a legal right to those recordings?

Can you call up and request copies or request their destruction?

Find out and tell us!

Operators are standing by.

According to an unsubstantiated claim made by a man alleging to be an IRS worker with a week to go on the job, his boss, a more experienced data miner who came to the IRS courtesy of Homeland Security along with some security clearance, said:

"When the US was training the Afghan people to fight the Soviets, they did something very stupid - they not only taught them how to fight a land war, but they gave them a translated copy of the CIA counter-intelligence manual. Some asshole essentially gave Al-Qaeda the CIA playbook. Ergo, Al Qaeda knows better than to use the phone or email to communicate."

Sure, but what about the Al-Qaeda inside our hearts?

Ranting, rumor and gay IRS auditors, after the jump...

Short Timer Syndrome writes:

"I have something to add to the data mining stories. You already suspected this, but I think it helps to be reminded.

I am a data miner with the IRS, so I have not been involved in any of the NSA craziness (although I did interview at the NSA once, since it was my hot-shit linguistic skills that lured me from Seattle to DC; however the w33d-smokin' stylinz' of my previous lifestyle caught up with me, my urine had seeds and stems in it, and I was denied clearance. But hey, that meant they didn't have to bother firing me because I'm gay! Ooooh eat THAT, NSA! Burn!!)

My work here catches tax fraud. I work with 'bleached' data, which is to say that I can look at data collected from an individual return without ever seeing a person's private information (besides the numbers on their tax forms, which is pretty private stuff.) But I can do my job without it - once a return is flagged, then it passes to a human in Criminal Investigations who decides whether or not to do an audit. It's not very Big Brother over here.

I was having a discussion with my boss when the NSA stories first started coming out. He's a more experienced data miner who came onto this project from a Homeland Security thing, and he's got clearance, so he's been around a bit. He reminded me that when the US was training the Afghan people to fight the Soviets, they did something very stupid - they not only taught them how to fight a land war, but they gave them a translated copy of the CIA counter-intelligence manual. Some asshole essentially gave Al-Qaeda the CIA playbook.

Ergo, Al Qaeda knows better than to use the phone or email to communicate.

It follows that there is NO VALID REASON for the NSA to gather phone data - no terrorism is going to be fought with it, unless you count (cue that scene from "Fahrenheit 9/11") people who go to peace activist groups and sit around munching on homemade cookies. The only reason for them to gather data is the one you fear - that they just want to spy on their own citizens.

Carnivore never died, either; it just got its name changed and lives on. So I'd better send this from a home address, huh! Not that it matters, I'm only on this contract another week and then it's off to grad school."

2) Circle section 2707.

3) Take your latest telephone bill.

4) Scratch out the number following AMOUNT DUE, replacing it with that number minus one-thousand.

5) Place the modified bill and the printout from steps 1 and 2 inside the envelope provided, making sure the address shows through the plastic window.

6) Affix a stamp to the upper right hand corner. The post office will not deliver without proper postage.

7) Mail the letter.

Related: "NSA Has Massive Database of Americans' Phone Calls" [USA TODAY]

Verizon, Bellsouth and Qwest have all stepped forward to deny their involvement in selling confidential phone records to the NSA, leaving open the possibility that 1) they're lying or 2) MCI or Sprint did it.

We'll have to wait for the other pin to drop to find out whodunit.

In the meantime, try Skype. Or get service through Working Assets, long-distance and cellphone provider "for the Birkenstock crowd." You get a free George Bush doormat with every signup. (Thanks to Amy's Robot!).