What's not covered: pretty much what you'd expect, like robocalls from political groups, charities, and debt collectors. If the caller isn't trying to sell you something, it doesn't fall under FTC jurisdiction. (Things like flight and prescription alerts are also allowed.) We think political callers are trying to sell you something—a big fat pie made of lies, usually—but apparently the FTC doesn't see it that way.

So beginning next Tuesday, if you receive an auto warranty or other telemarketer robocall, feel free to turn them in to the FTC:

Consumers who receive an unauthorized call starting Tuesday can file complaints with the commission online at www.ftc.gov or by calling (877) FTC-HELP.

"FTC bans most robocalls" [Los Angeles Times]
(Photo: M. Janicki)

Stephen learned this the hard way.

Consumerist,

If you have an AT&T phone, you can contact customer service by dialing
611. When I tried to do this recently, I accidently dialed 411 twice
instead, but I hung up as soon as I realized what I was doing wrong
and without speaking to anyone. When I got my phone bill, I was
charged $3.98 for making the calls.

After contacting AT&T Customer Service, I was very surprised and
dismayed that AT&T claims they cannot give refunds for these calls
UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, users are billed just for placing the call
even if they hang up immediately, and there is no way to block calls
from being made to 411.

Stephen

P.S. After asking to speak with a supervisor and whining enough, I was
given a "courtesy credit", but I am still upset that I couldn't get a
normal credit without having to get my blood pressure up.

It makes sense that AT&T might do this in order to avoid people trying to game the system and get free directory assistance calls by pretending that they made the calls accidentally. It's just not a very nice policy.

But why can't you block directory assistance on a phone when there are so many perfectly good free alternatives?

Dial carefully, kids.

(Photo: Billa)

CSR: Hi, how may I help you Ms. [redacted]?
Me: Please take my number off your list.
CSR: I love you.
Me: Um.
CSR: Do you like spam?
Me: No…
CSR: I love spam, fried up all crispy with maybe a little mayo.
Me: What is this?
CSR: *click*

Megan adds,

Just got the strangest call from "cardholder services" from an undisclosed company. Got the recorded spiel about it being a final offer to lower my interest rates and to press 9 to speak with someone. I pressed 9 figuring I'd ask them to lose my number.

I am so confused. Is anyone else getting these types of bizarre calls? I'm wondering how they knew my name and what the motivation could possibly be.

The only thing we can figure out is that the killer from Student Bodies is on the loose again (watch from :20 to :55 if you dare). Don't have sex if you're a teenager and you should be okay.

"Because the scammers have so much information about potential victims, BBB is concerned that this may be the result of a data breach," said Steve Cox, BBB spokesperson. "Thousands of people may have had their personal information compromised, and given the scammers' tactics, it appears that those who have previously used payday loan services could be particularly at risk."

According to reports received by BBB and posted online, the scammers accuse the victim of defaulting on a payday loan and claim they are being sued. The phony debt collector threatens that, if the victim doesn't pay as much as $1,000 immediately via wire or by providing bank account or credit card numbers, he or she will be arrested and extradited to California within the hour to stand trial.

As always with debt collectors, know your rights and be prepared to make some demands of the caller before you cooperate with anything they request. Here are three great places to start:

"Debunking The Debt Collectors' Spin Doctors"
Consumerist tag search: "debt collection"
Consumerist tag search: "debt collectors"

"Widespread Harassment from Phony Debt Collectors Raises Concerns of Mass Data Breach" [BetterBusinessBureau]
(Photo: _FXR)

But back to his collection agency side business. According to the Associated Press,

During one call recorded by a debtor, a man who vaguely identified himself as an investigator from "the warrant division" said one victim was about to be "picked up."

"Make sure you have somewhere for your kids to go. Lock up your house. Get some clean clothes, because you're not coming home anytime soon," the caller said.

In reality, authorities said, the business was run not by lawmen, but convicted felons. Its owner was former drug dealer who goes by the nickname "Bags of Money" and served 13 years for attempted robbery.

According to the Buffalo newspaper Business First, Boyland's debt collection agencies included:

Central Resource Management, Final Claims Asset Locators, Final Control Asset Locators, Interchange Payment Solutions, Next Step Services, Portfolio Asset Assurance, Silverbay Services, and Teleport.

"NY shuts down debt collection company run by felon" [Associated Press]
"AG shuts door on collection operation" [Business First of Buffalo]

RELATED
WhoCallsMe thread on Boyland [whocallsme.com]

I went to a Subway restaurant in Warrenton, VA for lunch on 6/2/09, which I do a day or two per week. On this particular day, there was quite a line, so while waiting I noticed this "Vacation Giveaway" kiosk by the entrance. So, since I was already standing there, what's the hurt of entering. I would soon find out.

The evening of 6/10/09 I received (3) phone calls from a number I did not recognize (757-821-0166), so I didn't answer. Well the last call the guy actually left a voicemail. The message went to say that where I had entered the contest at Subway, they had a $125.00 Visa gift card and they were trying to contact me to collect. I thought to myself, what dumb luck that because of a line at Subway, I actually won something.

I called back the next day and was told that I had to speak with the gentleman that contacted me, and he comes in a 5pm. So a little after 5pm I called to collect my gift. While speaking with Fred, he informs me that not only did I win a $125.00 Visa gift card, but I also won a $25 Subway gift card and trip to Orlando Florida for 3 days and 2 nights. This is when I got suspicious. It sounded to good to be true, so I asked, "What's the catch?"

Fred then told me that all I had to do was spend 90 minutes of my time "getting acquainted" with the resort (aka timeshare sales pitch). He then informed me that in order to get the items I had "won" I needed to authorize them to deduct a $75.00 reservation fee, which would be returned once I was at the resort. I read your blog daily, so immediately "SCAM" jumped into my head. So I told Fred that I needed to think about it, and spent the next bit of time looking up his information on the internet—which was filled with horror stories.

When Fred called back, I told him I was not interested, which I had to tell him at least 10 times before he would give up. He has since proceeded to call me 4-7 times per night between the hours of 5pm and 11pm trying to get me to reconsider. This is totally unacceptable. I am not sure if this company was sold my information, or stole the information. But regardless, beware.

(Photo: Aidan Wojtas)

Smackswell writes:

After my last smartphone died on me (palm centro) and I found a new blackberry for cheap on craigslist, I went to one of their stores to get it activated. They informed me I had to change my plan to some $70 a month deal, and confirmed all my billing info was correct. It's expensive, but it was worth it to me.

Ever since then, I keep on receiving calls from sprint. The first time I answered, and a woman informed me she wanted to make sure my service was going well, that I was happy with my plan, that I knew all the details of my plan, billing info correct, etc and so on. I humored her, went through the dialogue, and just when we were finishing up, the call dropped. It's funny, cuz it's the only dropped call I've had with the phone. I thought we were done, but she decided to call back anyways. I didn't answer, as I was sick of talking to CSRs.

Since then, I keep getting 877 numbers calling me. Been going on for a few days now. Today, I called the number back and they wanted to go through the whole spiel again. I told her I already did this and didn't want them to call me back. She said she'd put me on their "do not call" list. Great. Problem solved, right?

No. An hour or so later I get yet another call, this time a guy wanting to play the game all over again. I tell him I keep getting the same call over and over, and he tells me he'll put me on the "do not call" list. I'm almost positive I'm going to get this call again any second now, and it's driving me nuts. Any advice?

Smackswell, they probably just don't have enough customers to call. Try to get some friends to sign up with Sprint so they'll have more people to bug. I'd do it but I hate them too much.

(Photo: public.resource.org)

I recommend suing telemarketers. I just beat one in Santa Monica Small Claims. And they sent their New York corporate counsel! (They're a huge international company.)

Anyway, I couldn't have done it without the help of a guy in Sacramento—a total stranger who went out of his way to advise me. His name's André-Tascha Lammé, and I found him through his site, KillTheCalls.com

He started it after he was getting 30 calls a day from mortgage brokers. He doesn't do this for a living or anything. Like me, he was just pissed off that they were using his phone and eating his time.

killthecalls.com

P.S. If it's an out-of-state company and you're in California, they have to have an "agent for service of process" on file with the Secretary of State. You look that agent up on the SOS's website and then just have the court serve them certified mail for $15. To sue them in L.A. and maybe in California, you have to have that in-state address—they can't be sued at an out-state one. But legally, if they're doing biz in the state, they must have the AFSOP.

Before all of you start contacting Mr. Lammé directly, you should check out his website, which has a lot of advice on how to successfully take a telemarketer to small claims court.

(Photo: Getty)

"If you don't want to get contacted if somebody wins, then don't put your name in it. That was just such a girl thing to do. Wimp," the telemarketer yelled.

Whited said he called the company to complain, but not much happened.

"Someone that I spoke with said that it might have been her 400th hang up and she was just frustrated herself but that's not my fault," Whited said

We think her tirade seems pretty gentle, considering the things we can imagine someone saying, but then again our brains have been seared by the vulgarity of the Internet.

And as for the telemarketer, if all Whited did was hang up on her then we're surprised she'd take it so hard. She should read some of the things our commenters say they've said/done to telemarketers.

"Angry telemarketer calls back, berates man after he hangs up" [WIS News 10] (Thanks to Megan!)

Of course, there are still exceptions.

Health care-related calls subject to the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 are still allowed, as are charitable fundraising robocalls made to members of the nonprofit charitable organization for which the call is placed, or to people who previously donated to it. The fundraising calls must still include an automated opt-out, however.

The strict limits won't stop robocalls from political campaigns, either."Political calls are not placed for the purpose of inducing purchases of goods or services, and therefore are not 'telemarketing' within the meaning of the TSR," the FTC notes in a footnote of the amendment.

If you feel plagued by telemarketers, try the tips in our past posts for getting them to stop calling your, or for dealing with them effectively when they keep doing it.

"FTC all but bans robocalls" [CNET] (Thanks to Jason!)

If you've ever contested a mysterious charge on your credit card, tried to resolve a problem with your computer, or wanted to return an item to a vendor, you've probably encountered stubborn customer service agents — people who seem nice at the outset but change their tune when they realize complying with your request will cause additional work on their part. To change their orientation toward you, try the following: If you find toward the beginning of your interaction that the customer service agent is being particularly friendly, polite, or responsive — perhaps before you get to your toughest request — tell the agent that you're so impressed with his or her service and knowledge so far that you're going to write a positive letter or e-mail about your interaction to his or her supervisor as soon as you get off the phone. After getting the agent's name and the supervisor's contact information, you can then get to the more complex issues at hand. (Or, even easier, you can tell the person that you're so happy with the service that you'd like to be transferred to the agent's supervisor when you're done so that you can pay the person a compliment.) Although there are a number of psychological reasons for why this might be an effective strategy, the norm of reciprocity — one of the best-studied norms in psychology — is a powerful factor here: You've offered to do a favor for that person, so now that person is going to be motivated to return the favor. So long as you follow through with your promise, the strategy is an ethical and effective one.

More importantly, offering praise should put you in a good mood, and not being an ass is one of single best ways to solve problems.

Trouble with customer service agents? Try this. [Psychology Today via BoingBoing]
(Photo: Getty)

Remember to sign up with the National Do Not Call Registry if you haven't already. They'll block up to three phone numbers for you, including cellular numbers. But don't expect the Do Not Call registry to catch all telephone spam:

Because of limitations in the jurisdiction of the FTC and FCC, calls from or on behalf of political organizations, charities, and telephone surveyors would still be permitted, as would calls from companies with which you have an existing business relationship, or those to whom you’ve provided express agreement in writing to receive their calls.

You should also be aware that there are two easy ways for companies to get around the registry:

• If you buy something from a company, they can contact you for 18 months after the transaction unless you explicitly tell them not to—and if you tell them not to, they have to comply or face a fine of up to $11,000.
• If you simply make an inquiry or submit an application to a company, they can contact you for 3 months after the initial contact (again, unless you explicitly tell them not to).

So what happens if you've told a company not to call and they do anyway? If you've been on the Do Not Call registry for at least 31 days, visit their website to file a complaint. If you're not in the registry but you asked the company not to call you and they did anyway, check out the FTC Complaint Assistant, which will ask you a series of questions and eventually help you submit a telemarketing-related complaint.

"When AT&T won't stop calling" [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]
(Photo: Getty)

Abbey is annoyed with a woman who works at the new Target store in Washington, D.C., because the woman lied to her and wasted her time:

One of my roommates just got a Wii, so I decided to go to Target and get "Wario Ware: Smooth Moves."  Before hitting the store, though, I gave their electronics department a call to see if they had the game in stock.  A woman in electronics picked up the phone and when I asked her if she had the game, she quickly said, "Yeah, we've got that in stock."  So I got up off my couch and walked over to the Target to buy my game.

When I got there, less than half an hour later, I checked the shelves - but no game.  I went to the front desk to see if someone could help me find it.  After a few minutes of being flirted with by his coworker (as a line steadily grew behind me), the guy at the electronics desk told me that in fact, no, they didn't have the game in stock.

Now, I'd be willing to believe that maybe in the twenty minutes it took me to get to the Target, someone snatched up the last copy of Smooth Moves.  But then the guy at the desk (who was really helpful) said, point blank to me, "I don't know who answered your call, but they obviously just didn't feel like looking it up.  Sorry about that."  (Side note: my guess is that the flirty coworker was the woman who answered my call; she was the only other person working in that department, and she beat a hasty retreat when she heard what I was looking for.)

So, basically, Washington DC's shiny new Target is being staffed by people who would rather lie to potential customers than spend what turned out to be literally ten seconds to look something up on a computer.  What a wasted trip.

—Abbey

PS - I sent essentially this same message through Target's contact form yesterday and got a standard "sorry, come again soon!" form letter.

You need to chill out, Abbey. It's quite possible that the woman who answered the phone was a psychic in training, and she made a good faith effort to "see" the inventory without averting her gaze from her coworker's butt while he ran the cash register. Or what if it's Target Opposite Day and the employees are forced to reverse their answers? Managers love coming up with weird team-building exercises like that.

At any rate, just pretend that your trip to Target was a bonus Smooth Moves game—Nintendo's pretty innovative, so maybe they've worked real life pointless tasks into the mini-game concept by now.

(Photo: Getty Images)

Kapil's brand new Blackberry arrived with a battery that won't charge. He wants T-Mobile to exchange it, but he says T-Mobile wants to replace it with a refurbished Blackberry instead of a new model. Kapil is fighting back, but even at the executive support level all he's found are rude, uncooperative T-Mobile employees who keep saying there's a process, and that someone will call him back—which never happens. Kapil refused to hang up on the fourth day and demanded to know what happens next after nobody calls back, which seemed to confuse and anger the T-Mobile rep he was speaking with. And for those of you who can't listen in, we've transcribed some of the juiciest parts.

powered by ODEO

After a few minutes, the rep grows audibly annoyed with Kapil and tries to get him off the phone:

Your other option is to call customer care.

The reason I'm calling your executive office is because customer service has failed me and they are not helping me, and now you're telling me that my only recourse is to continue leaving messages but no one is calling me back. I have called every day—

[cutting in] Sir, sir, we took a message this morning. He has 24 hours to give you a call back.

I understand there was a message left this morning—

[talking over him] Okay, so— but—

—but there was also a message left on Monday, and Tuesday, and Wednesday of this week and no one has called me back.

Uh, uh, from the notations in the account I don't—

So you're telling me the notes are more accurate than me? Because on this conversation there's only one person that was part of that initial conversation and... it's not you. I'm telling you that I've called all this week—

[cutting in] I'm telling you nobody from my team, nobody from my team, uh, went into your account.

What if they forgot to leave a note to that effect? Is that my problem?

It doesn't matter, that's not how our system works sir. Even if they were in the account and, and, and didn't leave a note, it still shows there in the account.

So what if I—

[cutting in] At, at this point sir, I'm not going to argue with you. I can give you a phone number. If you need immediate assistance you have customer service to call. Okay?

I have tried—

[overlapping] Do you have any other questions or concerns for me?

I have tried customer service and they have refused to help me, so I called your executive office—

[cutting him off] Well sir, this is your option at this point, sir.

May I speak to a supervisor in your department?

No sir, you're not calling customer service, you're calling our executive offices.

This goes on and on like a Beckett play for a while. Eventually Kapil tries a different tactic, and discovers that just because he's been led to believe he's speaking to executive customer service, he may have actually been rerouted to regular customer service on his previous calls:

You're evading my question here. I understand your process, that someone will call me back in 24 hours. I'm asking, if that does not happen, what's happens next?

Somebody will call you back within 24 hours sir.

(Laughing) Are you a South Park fan at all? The TV show? [silence] Ever seen that TV show?

(Pause) ...No.

There's an episode of South Park where... imagine you're a character called the Underpants Gnome. And these Underpants Gnomes are stealing everyone's underpants, and when asked why they're doing that they put up a sign that says Step #1, collect underpants, Step #2, a bunch of question marks, and Step #3, profit. When you ask them what step #2 is, nobody knows. You're kind of doing that to me, I'm asking you if this doesn't happen, if your process doesn't work the way that it's supposed to, which it hasn't for me all week, what is the next step in the process. Like, how do I get past this?

Okay, again I'm telling you, you may have called the corporate office, but more than likely, it looks like from what I can see that you may have gotten transferred back to customer service, okay? As far as our team receiving the call, the first call that was received by our team this week was this morning, okay? So, from that point we have 24 hours to call you back.

But I have somebody on the phone. You're in the same department.

I'm trying to explain our process sir. Do you understand it or do I have to explain it again?

Twelve minutes in, we find out that the mysterious Pancho—he's the Godot-like character who's supposed to call Kapil back—isn't even someone Kapil has spoken to before, although Jason doesn't seem to understand or believe that. And at about the 13:30 mark, Jason finally gets upset enough that he reveals that he does have a record that Kapil has called several times before—something he has kept denying knowledge of throughout the call.

It's really a masterclass in how to pretend to offer customer service while stonewalling a customer. We like to imagine there are posters up around the T-Mobile offices that display our favorite line from Jason: "It's not a refusal, sir, it's how our process works."

(Photo: Getty Images)

He said his name was Tim and he then placed me on hold for a supervisor. About 30 seconds later, someone picked up the phone and said, "This is Timothy, how may I help you?" To my surprise, this was still the same agent but he was obviously attempting to disguise his voice. So I asked if he was the supervisor and he said yes. I told him that I was just speaking to him and I would like to speak with his supervisor please. He then called out to someone and said, "Who transferred this call to me?" - apparently attempting to continue to act like he was the supervisor.? It was almost comical that he felt that I couldn't notice that he was the same person. He was trying to speak to me in a deeper voice and it was very obvious he was trying to cover up what he was doing.

He then said let me transfer you back and before I could say anything I was transferred back to "Tim" the agent again. I then asked Tim or "Timothy" why he wouldn't let me talk to a supervisor? He claimed he transferred me to one but I told him that he didn't do a good enough job in disguising his voice and that I wasn't thrown off by the name either!

Timothy the agent/"supervisor" became very belligerent at this point. He started yelling at me, telling me to "Fuck off" several times and using other inappropriate language. There was one point in the recording where he told me to come down to the store and speak to him face to face, as if to provoke a fight.

Hello. The person who helped you originally on the phone did not do anything wrong until you asked to speak to his supervisor.

It's that simple.

Maybe he was a bit tuned during the call due to an email he was replying to, but he was answering your questions to the best of his ability.

Everything that was said after that was a result of this and is considered fruit of a poisonous tree.

Your email was NOT read. The subject line WAS read ONLY as we were expecting your email.

Please do NOT reply as it will not be read.

Thank you, Our apologies, Have a good New Year.

Hello. My name is Charles Hamaoui. I am appalled and very concerned about the events surrounding the original thread with respect to what occured that evening.

It was confirmed by me this call came in after normal working hours on the east coast. The employee that answered the telephone was completely inapropriate and indeed rude. As it turns out, our shorter staffed supervisors were not in the vicinity to overhear the call due to the time it arrived.

This is NOT a reflection of our Company and should be condsidered an isolated incident.

Hello Nickerz.

Thank you for calling this evening. I hope we cleared the air a bit. I doubt it though.

You seemed vindictive and more concerned with finding out who sent the email and if that person is going to be fired or not.

Question, lets say this person had a bad day, made a mistake, and apologized. Lets say this was the job that supported his wife and kids.

Would you still be persistent on getting him fired? or move on and get your answers answered the correct way?

. . .

Charles

Both recordings are below for those of you who want to compare and weigh in on the Charles/Tim identity issue. (This writer thinks they're different men.)

1st Call - "Timothy" (121 KB)
2nd Call - "Charles" (453 KB)

RELATED
"Extended Warranty - DON'T DO BUSINESS WITH NWVDIRECT.COM!!!"

(Thanks to Nicholas!)
(Photo: donwiss.com)

UA: You know what? I really need to go, because I have work to wrap up before the end of my workweek.
JH: And this is annoying, isn't it?
UA: Yeah, it is annoying. But you know what? I'm able to tune stuff out that I don't really want to hear.
JH: You know why? Because you're not captive on a plane.

The Airline Rewards Credit Card Prank [Zug]

Verizon Doesn't Know Difference Between Dollars And Cents
Verizon Still Can't Count
Escaping Pharma Telemarketing Hell
Recording Of Wretched Dell Call
Quicken And MS Money Are ExtortionWare
WaMu Screws Customer Stranded Overseas After Credit Cards Stolen
T-Mobile Hotspot: Wham, Bam, But No Thanks
ShopNBC Demands Money For Broken TV
Verizon Says Cellphone Ads Only For Users Who Want Them...
Screaming Dell Customer Can't Figure Out How To Shutdown Laptop (Hint: Hold Down The Power Button...)
American Airlines' Retarded Computer
Best Buy Agrees On Tape, "We Do Have A Jackass Working In Our Department"
Demand A T-Mobile Hotspot Refund And Get It
174 Minutes On Hold With Blackberry, With Urination
Extremely Irate Building Manager Screaming For Elevator Repair
Getting Five Starbucks
Cancel Verzion By Moving to Cambodia
Comcast is Nice, Frustrating Man
Delta Tells Ze Frank Off
Travelocity Atrocity
Delta Go Videoblog Boom Boom

(Photo: Amyadoyzie)

• From landline to headphone input on recording device: 302-902 TRKIT
• VoIP: Skype plus HotRecorder or plus PowerGramo.
• Outbound only: 3-2-1-Call-Log
• Inbound: Sign up for Grand Central and press 4 when receiving a call
• Call from anywhere, using any device. Monthly and per minute fees apply. RecordMyCalls.com.

— BEN POPKEN

(Photo: mrbill)

ConEd spokesman Alfonso Quiroz let us know that they, "always encourage customers to shop around." He pointed to poweryourway.com as a great place to find alternate energy service companies or ESCOs.

Ok, but what about those sneaky door-to-door salesmen?

Quiroz said that all ConEd's employees can be identified by badges and should provide them upon request. If there's ever any doubt whether someone is a ConEd employee, you can call 1-800-75CONED for verification.

When pressed as to whether they had anything specific to say about IDT Energy's systematic campaign of pretending to be ConEd workers at customer's doors, Quiroz said, "nothing more than what I've I just added about what people should look out for."

Evidently ConEd is not overly concerned about IDT Energy's sales practices... wonder what IDT corporate has to say? — BEN POPKEN

Previous IDT Energy posts.

Tech Support Call

Customer Satisfaction Survey Call

Don't say "what part of no don't you understand" and expect the system to understand. If you're going to vent your anger, at least mash zero heavily. That might actually get you somewhere.

For Dell's part, they should reduce the amount of errors before transferring to a human. And that human should be a skilled operator, not Jimmy down in parts.

Transcript inside...

Anatomy of an Unhappy Customer [VocaLabs]

CALL 1

Person: It's safer that way.
Voiceover: Welcome to Dell, your call may be recorded.
Person: Okay, here you're going to be on Dell now-
Voiceover: If you know the seven digit extension you'd like to reach.
Person: Wait.
Voiceover: Make a purchase, is that correct?
Person: No. Online tech support.
Voiceover: Sorry, I didn't understand.
Person: Tech support.
Voiceover: Make a purchase, is that correct?
Person: No.
Voiceover: I still didn't understand.
Person: What about "no" don't you understand?
Voiceover: Make a purchase, is that correct?
Person: No.
Voiceover: My mistake again. If you're unsure, say help, or press star. Otherwise please say "order status" or press 1, "make a purchase" or press 2, "technical support" or press 3-
Person: Technical support.
Voiceover: Okay, technical support. To get you to the right technician I need your product's express service code. If you're calling about a Dell product, this number is located on a label next to the words "express service code." It has no letters or dashes. Please say or key in the express service code, or say "help me find it."
Person: I don't have it.
Voiceover: Alright, are you calling about a product that has the Dell logo on it?
Person: I have the order number.
Voiceover: If your product has the Dell name on it, say "yes".
Person: Yes.
Voiceover: Okay, is this product for personal or business use?
Person: Operator.
Voiceover: Please say if the product is mainly for personal or business use.
Person: Operator.
Voiceover: With a little more information I'll be able to connect you to the agent that can best help you.
Person: Operator.
Voiceover: Let's try one more time.
Person: No.
Voiceover: Please say if the product is mainly for personal or business use.
Person: Operator...I can't wait to fill out this survey. Good grief.
Operator: Thank you for calling Dell Hardware Warranty Support. My name is Bill, how can I help you?
Person: Hi, is this, I need 24/7 tech support.
Operator: You've reached hardware support right now.
Person: Well I can't help it that the automated voice message machine couldn't understand me. But I need tech support on my computer, on my laptop.
Operator: Okay, this is, like I mentioned desktop too. Could you give me the service tag? I could transfer you ma'am.
Person: I can give you the order number.
Operator: Okay.
Person: 401541258
Operator: Okay. Give me just one moment.
Person: (Not to operator)Do you only have tech support for 30 days? That's what I thought.
Operator: You haven't received the system yet?
Person: What would make you assume that? I said I needed tech support for my laptop.
Operator: Oh. Right now I just pulled up the account, company 29-
Person: I have the computer, it's just not working. I need tech support to help me make it work.
Operator: Yes, I understood you ma'am.
Person: It sounded like you didn't if you thought I hadn't received it.
Operator: I'm sorry.
Person: I'm sorry too. Let's just get this done. Could you transfer me?
Operator: Absolutely.
*soothing hold music*
Person: (Not to operator) Me too. What CD? She didn't return them.
Voiceover: Please wait.
*dial tone*CALL 1

Person: It's safer that way.
Voiceover: Welcome to Dell, your call may be recorded.
Person: Okay, here you're going to be on Dell now-
Voiceover: If you know the seven digit extension you'd like to reach.
Person: Wait.
Voiceover: Make a purchase, is that correct?
Person: No. Online tech support.
Voiceover: Sorry, I didn't understand.
Person: Tech support.
Voiceover: Make a purchase, is that correct?
Person: No.
Voiceover: I still didn't understand.
Person: What about "no" don't you understand?
Voiceover: Make a purchase, is that correct?
Person: No.
Voiceover: My mistake again. If you're unsure, say help, or press star. Otherwise please say "order status" or press 1, "make a purchase" or press 2, "technical support" or press 3-
Person: Technical support.
Voiceover: Okay, technical support. To get you to the right technician I need your product's express service code. If you're calling about a Dell product, this number is located on a label next to the words "express service code." It has no letters or dashes. Please say or key in the express service code, or say "help me find it."
Person: I don't have it.
Voiceover: Alright, are you calling about a product that has the Dell logo on it?
Person: I have the order number.
Voiceover: If your product has the Dell name on it, say "yes".
Person: Yes.
Voiceover: Okay, is this product for personal or business use?
Person: Operator.
Voiceover: Please say if the product is mainly for personal or business use.
Person: Operator.
Voiceover: With a little more information I'll be able to connect you to the agent that can best help you.
Person: Operator.
Voiceover: Let's try one more time.
Person: No.
Voiceover: Please say if the product is mainly for personal or business use.
Person: Operator...I can't wait to fill out this survey. Good grief.
Operator: Thank you for calling Dell Hardware Warranty Support. My name is Bill, how can I help you?
Person: Hi, is this, I need 24/7 tech support.
Operator: You've reached hardware support right now.
Person: Well I can't help it that the automated voice message machine couldn't understand me. But I need tech support on my computer, on my laptop.
Operator: Okay, this is, like I mentioned desktop too. Could you give me the service tag? I could transfer you ma'am.
Person: I can give you the order number.
Operator: Okay.
Person: 401541258
Operator: Okay. Give me just one moment.
Person: (Not to operator)Do you only have tech support for 30 days? That's what I thought.
Operator: You haven't received the system yet?
Person: What would make you assume that? I said I needed tech support for my laptop.
Operator: Oh. Right now I just pulled up the account, company 29-
Person: I have the computer, it's just not working. I need tech support to help me make it work.
Operator: Yes, I understood you ma'am.
Person: It sounded like you didn't if you thought I hadn't received it.
Operator: I'm sorry.
Person: I'm sorry too. Let's just get this done. Could you transfer me?
Operator: Absolutely.
*soothing hold music*
Person: (Not to operator) Me too. What CD? She didn't return them.
Voiceover: Please wait.
*dial tone*
Person: Oh great, they transferred me to a number that's just going da-da-da-da-da.

CALL 2

Person: Hello?
Operator: Hello, uh this is Sharon calling with a survey for Vocalabs. Did you call Dell a few minutes ago?
Person: I did. It was the most horrible experience I've ever had and I'm never going to call that number again.
Operator: Oh my.
Person: I'm not, I'm not. The guy that I got when I finally got through was as dumb as the guy that I got that was on the, uh, the system- what's it called- the automated system. That couldn't understand me for anything it got so disgusting. I had to just keep saying "operator", I finally got transferred over to the operator and I talked to him and he had-it was a terrible experience. I'm so upset, ask me your questions so I could answer them for you.
Operator: Well I'm going to ask several yes-no questions and then at the end I can take down any other comments you have.
Person: Oh I hope you took down what I already said, I don't even want to think about it, but go ahead!
Operator: We are recording this call to make sure we get all of your answers right.
(overlapping)
Person: Oh good, God bless you. I'm real happy hearing that. You know it finally got to the point where he was going to transfer me to tech support, so he finally transfer me after like, I don't know, five minutes of bantering, he transfers me to a line that's busy. And I can't get back to him to get transferred again. And I'm like okay, hanging up now. God, thanks for helping me vent.
Operator: Well my first question is- did you accomplish what you wanted to do on this call?
Person: Absolutely not.
Operator: Did you speak to a person on this call? And I know that you did.
Person: Yes. Finally.
Operator: Did you have any difficulties in reaching a live person?
Person: Yes.
Operator: Did the person or people you spoke to have the right skills and training?
Person: I wouldn't know so I'm assuming not, no.
Operator: Okay. Did you have any problems using the automated systems on this call?
Person: Yes.
Operator: Overall, were you satisfied with the level of customer service you received on this call?
Person: Absolutely not.
Operator: Did you feel strongly about the way you were treated on this call?
Person: Did I feel strongly? Yes I did.
Operator: Would you recommend Dell to friends or colleagues who are looking for good customer service?
Person: I'd recommend the product, not the customer service, so I'm assuming the specific answer is no. The products are great but that service sucked. Sorry.
Operator: Did you have any other particular comments about this call?
Person: Well, you know, other than the ones that I've already said- do I need to reiterate them or can they go back? Or should I reiterate them?
Operator: It'd be nice if you could reiterate them.
Person: Yeah it'd be easier on you, wouldn't it, okay- Yeah, they need to make their automated service more English intelligible. I'm an English grammar major, that's why I talk like I do when I get specific. They need to make it more grammatically correct. They need to give it more of a vocabulary so it understands a little more than yes and no. Okay. When somebody says, "I need tech support," it doesn't need to come back and say, "Do you need tech support?". What about "I need tech support," do you not get? You know what I'm saying? And that's just one of the problems with the unintelligible language. It has a language problem, it's not large enough. It needs a larger vocabulary, okay? Then, when you get transferred to an operator, they need to be a little more knowledgable with the type of department. When I first got on the phone with a live operator I gave him my order number, and he said, and he pulled it up and he said, "And you haven't received a product yet?" I said, "Now what would make you assume I haven't received a product? I'm calling for tech support, obviously on a product I got." So, I don't know if there's a problem with what he's reading, with his lack of knowledge, or whatever, but they've got some problems there and I'm just really not impressed. So, I just, thank you for letting me share that with you. And I never did get to the tech support department that I needed to go through, so after this now I'm going to have to hang up and call a direct line to tech support, thank god I have that, otherwise we'd never get through because I have a problem with getting online on the laptop. And I'm done now, thank you for letting me share that with you. And I really do love Vocalab.
Operator: We appreciate that-
Person: I know you do, you guys have a great holiday season.
Operator: Finally, Vocalab posts some of the recordings of customer service calls and surveys to its public website in order to highlight both good and bad customer service. Can we have your permission to post the recording of your call to Dell and the survey to Vocalab's website?
Person: I would love them to do that. Dell needs to know that I very much love the product. I love Dell computers. We bought a laptop and a desktop. I love the computers, I just, I'm not real impressed with the customer service at this time. You know, I do love the products, but as for customer service, I'm sorry.

— BEN POPKEN
Person: Oh great, they transferred me to a number that's just going da-da-da-da-da.

CALL 2

Person: Hello?
Operator: Hello, uh this is Sharon calling with a survey for Vocalabs. Did you call Dell a few minutes ago?
Person: I did. It was the most horrible experience I've ever had and I'm never going to call that number again.
Operator: Oh my.
Person: I'm not, I'm not. The guy that I got when I finally got through was as dumb as the guy that I got that was on the, uh, the system- what's it called- the automated system. That couldn't understand me for anything it got so disgusting. I had to just keep saying "operator", I finally got transferred over to the operator and I talked to him and he had-it was a terrible experience. I'm so upset, ask me your questions so I could answer them for you.
Operator: Well I'm going to ask several yes-no questions and then at the end I can take down any other comments you have.
Person: Oh I hope you took down what I already said, I don't even want to think about it, but go ahead!
Operator: We are recording this call to make sure we get all of your answers right.
(overlapping)
Person: Oh good, God bless you. I'm real happy hearing that. You know it finally got to the point where he was going to transfer me to tech support, so he finally transfer me after like, I don't know, five minutes of bantering, he transfers me to a line that's busy. And I can't get back to him to get transferred again. And I'm like okay, hanging up now. God, thanks for helping me vent.
Operator: Well my first question is- did you accomplish what you wanted to do on this call?
Person: Absolutely not.
Operator: Did you speak to a person on this call? And I know that you did.
Person: Yes. Finally.
Operator: Did you have any difficulties in reaching a live person?
Person: Yes.
Operator: Did the person or people you spoke to have the right skills and training?
Person: I wouldn't know so I'm assuming not, no.
Operator: Okay. Did you have any problems using the automated systems on this call?
Person: Yes.
Operator: Overall, were you satisfied with the level of customer service you received on this call?
Person: Absolutely not.
Operator: Did you feel strongly about the way you were treated on this call?
Person: Did I feel strongly? Yes I did.
Operator: Would you recommend Dell to friends or colleagues who are looking for good customer service?
Person: I'd recommend the product, not the customer service, so I'm assuming the specific answer is no. The products are great but that service sucked. Sorry.
Operator: Did you have any other particular comments about this call?
Person: Well, you know, other than the ones that I've already said- do I need to reiterate them or can they go back? Or should I reiterate them?
Operator: It'd be nice if you could reiterate them.
Person: Yeah it'd be easier on you, wouldn't it, okay- Yeah, they need to make their automated service more English intelligible. I'm an English grammar major, that's why I talk like I do when I get specific. They need to make it more grammatically correct. They need to give it more of a vocabulary so it understands a little more than yes and no. Okay. When somebody says, "I need tech support," it doesn't need to come back and say, "Do you need tech support?". What about "I need tech support," do you not get? You know what I'm saying? And that's just one of the problems with the unintelligible language. It has a language problem, it's not large enough. It needs a larger vocabulary, okay? Then, when you get transferred to an operator, they need to be a little more knowledgable with the type of department. When I first got on the phone with a live operator I gave him my order number, and he said, and he pulled it up and he said, "And you haven't received a product yet?" I said, "Now what would make you assume I haven't received a product? I'm calling for tech support, obviously on a product I got." So, I don't know if there's a problem with what he's reading, with his lack of knowledge, or whatever, but they've got some problems there and I'm just really not impressed. So, I just, thank you for letting me share that with you. And I never did get to the tech support department that I needed to go through, so after this now I'm going to have to hang up and call a direct line to tech support, thank god I have that, otherwise we'd never get through because I have a problem with getting online on the laptop. And I'm done now, thank you for letting me share that with you. And I really do love Vocalab.
Operator: We appreciate that-
Person: I know you do, you guys have a great holiday season.
Operator: Finally, Vocalab posts some of the recordings of customer service calls and surveys to its public website in order to highlight both good and bad customer service. Can we have your permission to post the recording of your call to Dell and the survey to Vocalab's website?
Person: I would love them to do that. Dell needs to know that I very much love the product. I love Dell computers. We bought a laptop and a desktop. I love the computers, I just, I'm not real impressed with the customer service at this time. You know, I do love the products, but as for customer service, I'm sorry.

— BEN POPKEN

You can use Skype along with an audio recording program like Hotrecorder, Audacity or Garageband (Mac) or Audio Hijack (OSX). Make the call with Skype and hit record. Upload the mp3 file to a hosting service like Putfile, or just email it to us.

You can also use your landline with a device like the Mini Recorder Control from Radio Shack. Plug it into the phone, and into the microphone slot on your computer. Record... upload...

We recommend the Skype method, though, as it tends to produce better audio. — BEN POPKEN

UPDATE: You can also use GrandCentral (free), which, in addition to creating one master number for all your phones, lets you record calls just by pressing 4.