If You Visit Venezuela, Please Bring Us Back A Penisphone

If You Visit Venezuela, Please Bring Us Back A Penisphone

That rascal Hugo Chavez! First he uses a photo op with President Obama to hawk his new a book, and now he’s on Venezuelan TV urging his citizens to buy a new Vergatario cellphone. For those not up on Spanish slang, that’s equivalent to buying a Dickarama here in the states.

Don't Draw Genitalia As Your Signature When Paying Via Credit Card

Don't Draw Genitalia As Your Signature When Paying Via Credit Card

After accidentally scribbling nonsense on a verification screen and seeing that it didn’t trigger any alerts, Kingpin at DrunkRepublic decided to start goofing around with his signature when using his credit card. It led to some fun times for a while. Then it backfired. (Warning: the image after the jump is cartoonishly NSWF in a Comcast-at-the-Superbowl sort of way.)

U-Haul Has A Penis?

U-Haul Has A Penis?

After examining the Lil’ Hauler Plush Toy Trailer (left, $9.95), reader Matt found that its proboscis bore an unmistakable reference to something he hadn’t been able to find among his fat folds in some time.

IKEA’s Catalog Makes Girls/Gays Pant and Blush

IKEA’s Catalog Makes Girls/Gays Pant and Blush

Amazing Phallus Stretching Device

Amazing Phallus Stretching Device

It’s Good Friday, and we here in Ireland are a little bit angry. Not only are our Gawker overlords making us actually work today, but it seems Irish off-licenses don’t sell alcohol on Good Friday and the theological reminder that Jesus actually drank wine on the day of his death isn’t enough to get them to open up, no matter how many times we call the owner’s house and scream Bible verses at him.

“Smiling Bob” Penis Pill Scammers Nailed

“Smiling Bob” Penis Pill Scammers Nailed

Like most of you, we at the Consumerist have an entire Hotmail account devoted to unsolicited emails from Eastern European girls asking us if we want to see naked pictures of them and making frankly personal inquiries as to the size of our penis. And while we are always eager to see more anonymous hot and naked girls, we’ve learned long since that no pill on Earth is going to help us so much that we will have to tape our member to our chest when getting dressed every morning. These products just never work as advertised.

Fake Microwave Penis

Fake Microwave Penis