HMVs Stormed With Defaced, Remixed Paris Hilton CDs

Ridiculing Paris Hilton for a lack of talent really is like beating an encephalic poodle with a sack of oranges until you exhaust yourself, only to find it still obliviously drooling out its tongue and staring at you with wide, flickerless eyes. You’re not getting through. And, personally, we tend to suppress an eye roll when guerilla consumerists sneak into shops and ruin the shopping experience of others to get across their obvious, fatuous message.

Paris Can’t Get Discount At Glasgow Hilton

Paris Can’t Get Discount At Glasgow Hilton

Even Paris Hilton can’t get a discount at the Hilton. Well, at least when not requesting one for no specific reason and failing to identify herself over the telephone.

Carl’s Jr. Follows Up Sexy Paris Hilton Ad

What does this half naked fat man washing his car have to do with Carl’s Jr. hamburgers? We didn’t hear any of you asking that same question when it was Paris Hilton getting water sprayed in slow motion all over her ass to advertise the Carl’s Jr. Spicy BBQ Burger…

Thieves Snatch Hilton’s Mother’s Day Goodies

Thieves Snatch Hilton’s Mother’s Day Goodies

Leave it to Paris Hilton to teach us the value of handmade gifts for Mother’s Day.

Carl’s Jr. Puts the XXX in Customer Service

Carl’s Jr. Puts the XXX in Customer Service

As if a dripping Paris Hilton weren’t enough slut factor, Carl’s Jr. has gone the extra six inches to ensure they emphasize the service in their customer service “hot” lines.