Amazon says that they're beginning the crusade against "wrap rage" with the Fisher Price Imaginext Adventures Pirate Ship. Instead of a medieval torture device, the toy will now arrive in something called "a box."

"I think we've all experienced the frustration that sometimes occurs when you try to get a new toy or electronics product out of its package," said Jeff Bezos, founder and CEO of Amazon.com. "It will take many years, but our vision is to offer our entire catalog of products in Frustration-Free Packaging. We'd like to thank Fisher-Price, Mattel, Microsoft and Transcend for working with us in this effort - we truly appreciate it."

Amazon will also be working with the manufacturers of things like memory cards, which come in hard to open clamshell packages to deter shoplifting. Apparently, it has occurred to Amazon.com that they really don't have much of a problem with shoplifting.

In addition to being easier to open, the new packaging will be recyclable and use fewer raw materials.

Amazon Announces Beginning of Multi-Year Frustration-Free Packaging Initiative (Press Release) [Amazon] (Thanks, Pete!)

(And yes, we know it's not toxic in this form. That's why the tag is "oops" and not "poison!")

(Thanks to Pete!)

Dave says:

I was doing an online survey and was questioned about my opinion on fish-sticks.

I'm sure other readers would also note the difference, however, they must assume the panelists to be daft.

What else was I expected to notice? His slicker is now Land's End?

I probably won't be empaneled any time soon.

Here are the questions Dave was asked:

Perhaps this is too deep a look into the minds that are responsible for the Grocery Shrink Ray. The abyss stares back and all that...

those with the largest amount of BPA in their urine had nearly three times the risk of heart disease and more than twice the risk of diabetes as those who had the lowest levels.

We already know there's concern about whether BPA harms babies, but frankly this author is a baby-free grown up, and I want to know whether BPA hurts me. This study may indicate a link but the co-author says it's not conclusive—the heightened BPA levels may be a reflection of the diets of those with heart disease and diabetes, and not a cause.

Still, there is some evidence from previous animal studies that BPA may interfere with insulin production:

"Even those with the highest BPA levels still had levels way below the currently established 'safe' level," says David Melzer, an epidemiologist at the University of Exeter in England and coauthor of the study. Other researchers say there's enough evidence from previous animal studies to suggest that BPA is harmful to adults. BPA levels that are slightly elevated but still just one-fifth the safe dose limit established by the Food and Drug Administration trigger an alarming release of insulin in the pancreatic cells of mice—and higher levels lead to pre-diabetes or insulin resistance, says Frederick vom Saal, a biologist at the University of Missouri. BPA also suppresses the release of a hormone from fat cells that normally protects against diabetes and heart disease.

"Heart Disease, Diabetes Linked to Chemical in Plastics" [U.S. News & World Report] (Thanks to Shaula!)
(Dramatization of BPA attack: Brymo)

Gerardo says:

About a month back I ordered a 6-pack of "method Foaming Hand Soap, Green Tea & Aloe, Case Pack, Six - 10 Ounce Bottles (60 Ounces)," I ordered this and some hair gel that I have a hard time finding in the the stores. Well sure enough as soon as I bought the soap it went on back order and so it was going to be shipped separately.

I didn't mind so much since as we all know if you order using amazon's free shipping you shouldn't expect it anytime soon. Well, after receiving the soap in the mail, I opened the box to find yet another shipping box inside. A clearly marked "ready to ship" box, which obviously wasn't ready enough as they had to ship it in a much larger box. I guess Amazon workers are on autopilot mode.

We still think this might be progress. Maybe. Ok, probably not.

Rick points out that on their website, they also claim "no oily mess," which we'd like to contrast with this photo Rick sent in:

"We didn't piece any of this together. We just taped it to hold it together. None of this has torn through at all," Amelia McBride said.

"You get the wrong people get a hold of this information, oh my gosh! They could have a heyday with this one box," Michelle McBride said.

"I was just in shock. I just couldn't believe that they're using shredded up checks as packing material," Amelia added.

The McBride's contacted the company that shipped and packed the peppers, WHH Ranch Company.

Owner Bill Hamzy says the family owned and operated business has been using shredded paper from the same Texas bank for years.

He says the McBride's are the first to notice the problem and one he will fix immediately.

It's great that WHH Ranch agreed to stop packing goods in shredded checks, but what sort of insanely reckless bank was handing them out to begin with?!

Packing material poses threat to customers of one Texas bank [KTKA] (Thanks to Aaron!)

I cooked up the Banquet Chicken Pot Pie per directions.

I flipped it over after cooking and put it in a bowl. I opened up the "bottom" to get at the pot pie goodness and what did I find? Practically nothing. It was almost completely hollow.

On the back of the box were the instructions for cooking.

The final step says to insert a thermometer to ensure a temp of 160 to make sure it is fully cooked. If I had actually done that the probe would have been in the hollow pocket of the pie and not been measuring anything but air.

I will stick with Marie Calendar pot pie from now on. They are actually filled with pot pie goodness.

(Thanks to couponknob!)

An anonymous reader sent the photo in after they ordered a shipment of 50 CMOS batteries from Dell in an attempt to save time and money by asking for "fifty spare batteries instead of having them delivered individually." This is what they got, a big box with 50 smaller boxes inside.

Packing Done Right [Daily WTF] (Thanks, Everyone!)

Hey guys — Just wanted to let you know that with all of this grocery shrink ray action that is going on, it is nice to see some companies doing something to make their product last a little longer. The only question is...what kind of preservatives are in these Doritos so they will last until August 39th???

We wonder if Frito-Lay has discovered how to add an extra eight days to the calendar, or if they mean August 2039, in which case we think Duke shouldn't eat them—he should sell them on CraigsList as roofing material.

Last year, the Loraxes at Greenpeace accused Apple of hating trees and raping the environment. In response, Apple announced that it was transitioning to L.E.D. screens, and that they would shrink their retail packaging. Clearly, it was all for show. Welcome, Apple, to the stupid shipping gang!

(Thanks to glugory!)

I ordered a maple night stand via Amazon.com. It was actually sold/shipped by one of their vendors called Vision Decor. I was surprised when the package arrived. It was HUGE and it weighed a lot — far larger and heavier than I expected a night stand to be.

It was covered in multiple layers of cardboard and tape. When I finally cut through to the middle I discovered that the entire box had been filled with that spray foam typically used by plumbers and construction workers for insulation. My father-in-law and I spent half an hour hacking through the stuff to finally get to the night stand within. It was tough stuff. And it tended to stick to skin.

Now, I appreciate that my night stand arrived in good condition but I must say that removing the foam insulation was tantamount to carving Mt. Rushmore.

Are you sure that's a night stand and not an alien facehugger pod? Jim? Jim, are you there?

Earlier this week I ordered a part from Canon USA Service for one of my Canon cameras and it arrived today. I am impressed for the fast shipping but not so much by the efficiency of the packaging.

Canon USA is headquartered in a place called "Lake Success" in New York. Out of curiosity, we checked what UPS would charge to ship a one-pound package, roughly 12"x8"x6" from Lake Success to Los Angeles. Our reader said he was pleased with the fast shipping, so let's say Canon used UPS 3 Day shipping: that would be nearly $20. We then checked how much it would cost to throw the part in an envelope and drop it in the mailbox: that would be 41¢. Well done, Canon.
(Thanks to Dale!)

David writes:

Recently, my son Justin and I both ordered Kingston 2GB USB "thumb" drives from Dell after seeing it mentioned on slickdeals.net. My son's arrived a few days before mine, and he told me that when the delivery guy handed him the box, he asked if there was anything actually in the box because it was so light. I didn't see the packaging myself until my drive arrived the other day. I asked my other son Brett, a budding photographer, to document the "unboxing" this time.

I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

PREVIOUSLY: Dell: Let's Ship Tiny CDs In Massive Boxes!

Okay, so it's not like more expensive gum causes cancer or anything, but we thought you'd like to know why Wrigley's is bragging about their new packaging in the near future. From Brandweek:

When asked if the package shrink would turn consumers off to the product, Paul Chibe, Wrigley's vp North American consumer market-gum, said consumers wouldn't care if they were getting 15 sticks of gum instead of 17 sticks. "To them the value goes up because they're getting a better tasting product in a better package. Price is not the way the consumer is looking at this," he said.
 
Brian Morgan, senior research analyst at Euromonitor, Chicago, concurred: "[Package shrink] is the strategy that has been used in many categories to accomplish a price increase without consumers really noticing or to smooth over the negative reaction."
 
Morgan added that, in the gum category more so than in other categories, consumers would likely respond positively to slimmer packaging: "Packaging innovations like that do make a difference, independent of what that does to the price."
 
Though the new packaging is, in effect, a price increase, Wrigley is hailing it as a packaging breakthrough. "Consumers like the fact that [the envelope] is slim, sleek; it feels very contemporary," said Chibe.

She writes:

Dear Consumerist,

I purchased a Black & Decker food processor from my local Walmart store. When I opened the box for the first time, I found a religious pamphlet with the other paperwork (user's manual, etc.). The pamphlet has an "American Idol" theme. I'm not sure if it was put there by Black & Decker or a Walmart employee or customer. The box was sealed with a strip of packing tape but I noticed when I removed it that the box is so glossy that the removal of the tape left no mark on it. Here are scans of the pamphlet. I hate these things. I've emailed Black & Decker and Walmart. Do you have any suggestions for me, aside from the action I've already taken? I'm totally creeped out.

Jessica

PS. Scans of the pamphlet are attached. Sorry the quality is so poor, not sure why.

Faith aside, if the food processor works then you can ask for an open-box discount, but not much more. If it only works for true believers, then bring it back and ask for a refund and a non-proselytizing appliance. We hear KitchenAids are fabulous and accepting.

He writes:

Howdy Consumerist,

I stumbled across your site recently and am now addicted to it. Today I got a package from OfficeMax where we recently ordered some CD-Rs.
One of our front office gals opened the box to find the following: (attached picture #1)

Quite a bit different than what is pictured on their website.

I guess whoever packaged the cds was hard up for spindles? The shrink wrap from the spindle was still in the box, but the cds were not in the shrink wrap. We're sending the cds back of course and hopefully the next batch won't come unwrapped, unspindled, and with scratches all over them!

I ordered some batteries on sale from Circuit City, recently. When they arrived, the package made insane amounts of noise. I opened it up and found that the packages were basically destroyed and dozens and dozens of batteries were loose. For some reason, there's something really disquieting about having a box full of loose batteries come in the mail - maybe it's the low-toned clacking sound they make?

I've seen a lot of poor shipping posts in the past few weeks, and thought I would share a positive shipping story! I recently ordered 12 bridesmaid dresses from Target.com (2 sizes for each girl, just in case, plus two for myself). I expected a barrage of boxes at my door, but was pleasantly surprised to find 10 dresses neatly packed into one Amazon box, and two more dresses in a smaller Amazon box. I guess some companies CAN ship competently!

RELATED: "Stupid Shipping Gang" stories.

Nope: it's two replacement trackpoint nubs, smaller than a lapdog's nipples.

We know some of you don't like these "big box-tiny product" posts, but they highlight the waste and incompetence of current shipping methods, and remind us of how messed up the supply chain remains, despite years of fine-tuning. As long as companies increase profits by passing costs on to the consumer instead of seeking out and addressing these inefficiencies, we're going to see higher and higher levels of government-style red tape and bureaucracy. And big boxes with big shipping fees with tiny products inside.

"Reason #2389 Why IBM is a Ridiculous Corporation and Why My Next Computer Will Be a Mac" [Optimus Crime Toronto]
(Thanks to Sofi!)

At Logitech, which makes computer and home entertainment products including mice, keyboards and remote controls, [design expert Kerry Azelton] was encouraged to make changes in response to a variety of consumer complaints, including package-opening injuries.

His influence is most obvious in Logitech blister packs that bend at a corner to start an opening and pull apart relatively easily because the material has an outline of perforation.

[Laura Bix, an assistant professor at Michigan State University] said the biggest force driving the trend is the assertiveness of baby boomers, who are sure to demand more convenient packaging as they age.

"We're going to see more and more people focus on this," Bix said. "Easy-opening innovations are rare so far, but definitely increasing."

Ouch! Why do they package like that? [Mercury News]
PREVIOUSLY: When Liberating Your Sony Headphones From Their Plastic Shell, Be Careful Not To Stab Yourself With An X-Acto Knife
(Photo: Pσrcelαΐηgΐrl°)

The company I work for orders all of their computers from Dell. About 4 months ago we started receiving random Adobe Acrobat Standard CDs & licenses for free with every single computer that we purchase. We did not request these CDs. At first, they came inside of the box with the computer. Soon, they started arriving in a padded envelope. After that, they began arriving in their own box, complete with paper padding, and a padded envelope. We have received well over 100 of these.

Christian, just wanted to circle back and let you know that we're working this now. As much as we would like this to be a very simple fix it isn't. But you do have our commitment that we will have this fixed in the next six months. Two things we are looking at:

1. Option to exclude all manuals and CDs from packaging at time of order. And, an option to have one set delivered for multiple systems.

2. A move to packaging alternatives

We'll be sure to keep you posted.

Best,
Sean

Dell and the environment: green is out, brown is in [Technologist For Hire]
Update on Dell's Environmental Impact [Technologist For Hire]

Thanks for your recent delivery of the items we ordered. Your drivers must know how to drive fast because it always arrives very fast and we think that's swell. However, your shipping department might be drinking on the job or something because the amount of packaging used for our most recent order was ridiculous. You might want to go down there and check.

Here is the major malfunction:

The shipment was prepared such that each of the...

Item Number: 708146 -
Ampad Gold Fibre® Designer Series Top Wirebound Writing Pad, Brown, Wide Ruled, 8 1/2″ x 11 3/4″
Quantity: 5 Price: $3.58

..that I ordered was packaged and shipped in a separate box. Are you kidding me? Its just too much for me to bear! In addition to being very un-environmental, shipping one NOTEBOOK in a box that measures 2 feet by 1 foot 2 inches is costly, perhaps costing US more money and YOU for certain. We dont pay you for shipping, so it's not like it was a clever ruse to squeeze more money from this cash cow.

I am speechless! SEE attached photos of the carnage from ALL the packaging from the delivery. I ordered 41, no wait, 38 items from you and they were shipped in 8 different boxes, most of which I could fit in! And I am not a dwarf OR a child. Actually, 1 item is backordered so 37 items shipped. The other 3 items were catalogs that I have requested NOT to have delivered since I do all my ordering ONLINE. That's 4.625 items per box. And the "items" were things like "pens" and "highlighters" not "Hummer engines" or "flat screen tv's." Is this some kind of joke? If so, it's not funny Staples, not funny. Most of the items could have fit in one box. Didn't YOU see An Inconvenient Truth like the rest of America?

Above: Large mess cleaned up by ME, not staples.

My Account Manager has been the most helpful and enthusiastic customer representative I have ever had the pleasure to interact with, but the firestorm-a-brewing right now may be enough to have cost you a customer. Silly Staples.

The amount of time I spent breaking down boxes and properly discarding those "plastic bubbles" used to cushion each individually boxed notebook was ridiculous. You have wasted my time Staples.

And I am very, very upset.

Stop wasting so much material and making the consumer complicit in your waste. Ever heard of envelopes? Use envelopes. Figure out the logistics. It's not as if Christmas season only passes by the Earth every 75 years—prepare your facilities and employees to handle the annual, predictable increase in fulfillment.

Despite Amazon's novel hard-drive-shipping technique, they've at least begun to address this. We ordered a single book from them last week and it arrived in a flat package, stiff enough to protect the book but malleable enough for our insane mail carrier to somehow fold it like an origami Cthulhu temple so that he could shove it into our mailbox. So we know you can do it, companies. Stop being lazy. And fire the shipping facility manager who let that card get shipped out like that. (What? It's not Christmas anymore.)

(Thanks to Ian!)

RELATED
"Crate & Barrel's Wooden Spoon Packaging Is Very Efficient"
"Amazon Is Unable To Ship A Hard Drive In Proper Packaging"

I recently ordered two wooden spoons, a wooden spatula and a silicone spoon rest from crateandbarrel.com - all in the same transaction. Today I received these two big boxes! One box (10x7x20) held ONE 13.5" spoon. The other box (13x13x7.5) held the other spoon, spatula and spoon rest.

It's obvious that all four items could have fit in the big box along with the big spoon. The amount of bubble pack, honeycomb paperpack and tissue paper was unbelievable.

Maybe they should help Amazon pack their hard drives. Tee-hee!

The consumer groups who originally called for a ban on the practice are not pleased:

"We're outraged the FDA put the economic interest of the industry before the health and safety of consumers," said Wenonah Hauter, director of Food and Water Watch. "At worst (it's) dangerous, at best it's a consumer rip-off."

Bottom line: unless you know for sure your store doesn't use carbon monoxide on its meat, don't equate color with freshness, because the practice isn't going away any time soon.

"Food industry defends carbon monoxide use in meat" [Reuters]
(Photo: Getty)

The study found that shoppers look for discounts and special offers for canned tuna, canned fruit and pasta sauce, but they want products like cheese, mayonnaise and coffee to be recognizable and easy to find.

For energy drinks and chocolate, shoppers care little about price but want eye-catching ads and snazzy packages. When it comes to salad dressings and chewing gum, they want to try out new products.

"POV: Brands in the Dark" [Adweek]
(Photo: Getty)

From the NYT:

Consumer goods companies, which once saw packages largely as containers for shipping their products, are now using them more as 3-D ads to grab shoppers' attention.

The shift is mostly because of the rise of the Internet and hundreds of television channels, which mean marketers can no longer count on people seeing their commercials.

So they are using their bottles, cans, boxes and plastic packs to improve sales by attracting the eyes of consumers, who often make most of their shopping decisions at the last minute while standing in front of store shelves.

"The media is fragmented, and we can't find people — we can't get them to sit down and listen to our argument on a television spot," said Jerry Kathman, chief executive of LPK, a brand agency based in Cincinnati. "The package can convey that argument."

As recently as the 1990s, most package designs were retained for seven or more years. Now marketing executives say they are constantly planning package overhauls. The average life of a package before its next makeover is down to two years, they add.

Product Packages Now Shout to Get Your Attention [NYT] (Thanks, Molly!)
(Photo:Lars Klove)

My colleague came to work waving around a new pair of Sony headphone's he'd bought on the way over, still new in the blister plastic packaging. He was excited because he got such a good deal on them, and tried cutting through the package with a pair of heavy duty scissors. The plastic was unusually strong and was resisting even our most well made scissors (we work in a printing facility, and have lots of types of scissors, all high quality). He switched to the x-acto knife after the scissors were unable to pierce the thick bonded plastic.

We also use these knives regularly and have never had an accident. Well the plastic was so strong he needed to apply a large amount of force to the blade, which caused his hand to slip toward his body and into his abdomen. The cut was deep and he bled through his shirt; we found gauze in the first aid kit and dressed the wound using sterile wipes and pads until he was cleaned up enough to go to the emergency room. I had to use the x-acto knife again to open the package all the way, and it took me nearly ten minutes of precise, careful cuts to get the headphones out, and I use these knives almost every day as part of my various craft hobbies. I literally had to slice all the way around the perimeter of the package, and that was not easy. I doubt somone without a lot of cutting experience could ever have opened this package safely.

This is not a directed complaint toward Sony specifically, but to all manufacturers to make your packaging reasonably easy to open for customers that spent money on your products. More directly, you should be able to open any package with a pair of scissors in a minute or less. If not, your packaging becomes hazardous by causing people to resort to sharper utensils like knives and rasors. My colleage is recovering well and does not plan to pursue a lawsuit.

We are not surprised. Liberating consumer electronics from their protective armor can be a Sisyphean struggle. Fortified enclosures help retailers by deterring theft and making products easier to ship, but rob consumers of their ability to delightedly tear open a present. Retailers should develop a better way to cocoon their products, one that discourages consumers from accidently stabbing themselves.

And, of course, here's a link to coke cans throughout history. The mid-90's was a low point in Coke can design. Don't you think?

The Real Thing. Really. [Brand New via BuzzFeed]

When I called their customer support line, they were gone for the day. You'd think they'd have someone working when people are most likely to be using their products.

Helpful Directions From Pillsbury [MyMarion.com]

A tight fit between the plastic skin and cardboard thwarted scissors.

Our tester grabbed a box cutter but hacked up the box as an unavoidable result.

After removing the clamshell and opening the box, she had to dislodge parts from a foam case, yank off one plastic bag covering the power cord and another protecting additional components, then pop perforations on smaller clamshells shielding the toothbrush heads.

Her work table was littered with sharp plastic shards.

Do clamshells really reduce theft? Are they cheaper to manufacture? What's up with the clamshells??? — BEN POPKEN

And the Oyster goes to... [Consumer Reports]

How much ham is in your ham? Edgar bought a bag of John Morrell Cooked Ham, a good deal at $2.50 for a pound. Afterwards, he noticed the caveat "and water product" and tiny print that said "35% of Weight is Added Ingredients."

When asked for an explanation, John Morrel said:

The ham and water product is 35% added ingredients of ground ham shank and ham. This is not 35% of added "other ingredients" or "water and chemicals".

Cured in a solution of 79% water."

You have 1 lb of meat as the pkg states. When the ham is processed and cured it will weigh more then 1lb. It is allowed to "drain" until the ideal weight of 1 lb is reached. So the meat is 1 lb but the solution is drained to get to that weight.

According to the Department of Agriculture, as long as it says, "and water product," less than 17% of the product need be "PFF" or "protein fat-free." This number "does not denote the amount of real ham in a product."

If you want more ham for your buck, make sure the package description doesn't have any qualifiers. Just ham. Then you're guaranteed at least 20.5% PFF. — BEN POPKEN

John Morrell Cooked Ham: Where's the Beef? [MousePrint]

Celebrating hard to open packages, the "Oyster Awards" is no simple snark-fest. The heroes at Consumer Reports start by "sifting through nominations from subscribers." (That's where you come in.) They don't give up there, though! Consumer Reports shops for the types of products mentioned most, find worse examples, and study the packages in their labs.

Finally, a reporter is challenged with the task of opening the nominated packages. He/she is timed, and the order of the choices is based on "a combination of the time it took to crack the package and the potential hazard involved."

Now Consumer Reports is asking us for your help. Get on over to their website and nominate a package for this year's awards.

Also, take a look at last year's winners, and as a special bonus, we've included a link to a blog post from Feb 2005. This particular blog post contains the story of the time our father bought us a large kitchen knife that could not be removed from the package without the aid of... a large kitchen knife. Enjoy! — MEGHANN MARCO

Nominate! [Consumer Reports]
Last Years Oyster Awards [Consumer Reports]
Knives [Meghann Marco]