James C., Your Oozinator Is Shipping

James C., Your Oozinator Is Shipping

Unlike other Gawker blogs, we actually send the winners of our contests their prizes. Congrats once again to James C for coming up with one of the winning slogans. We’ll get right on designing that t-shirt….soon…

Oozinator: AV Club Peepshows Hasbro’s Marketing Team

Oozinator: AV Club Peepshows Hasbro’s Marketing Team

Avery and Phil Oozinate ShopWiki

On Tuesday, we invited all of our readers to head on over to ShopWiki and let them pay you 50 clams for an Oozinator review. Two days later and we’re happy to report that the first video review of the Oozinator is already up, filmed by the very funny Avery and Phil.

Pith & Vinegar; Puddles of Cuddles

• Maybe they just ate too much turkey and got tired. [USAToday] “FDA issues fewer safety, quality citations”

Oozinator Ooze Tested

Captivated by the Oozinator squirt guns possibilities, mainly those involving its ability to shoot ooze, we ordered one. Here is the money shot. It fulfills all your hopes and dreams. This is but a preview of a longer ooze opus. Enjoy.

Oozinator Purchased

1 Oozinator Blaster $24.99 1 $24.99

Oozinator Doesn’t Want Our Interview

Oozinator Doesn’t Want Our Interview

We submitted our questions to Hasbro PR but for some strange reason we can’t fathom, they’re less than oozing out of their suits to speak with us.

Ask The Consumerists: What’s in the Ooze?

Ask The Consumerists: What’s in the Ooze?

We’re on a quest. We want to interview the Oozinator. We want to find out what was going on in Hasbro’s minds when they created this product and its advertising.

Oozinator YTMND

Oozinator YTMND

Cementing its status as a fully-fledged, card-carrying, dues-paying, internet meme, the infamous Oozinator has been splattered into a YTMND.

The Lost Oozinator Reviews

The Lost Oozinator Reviews

On Monday we found the innuendo splattered Amazon reviews for the SuperSoaker Oozinator (a squirt gun which shoots slime and water in a very phallic fashion) wiped clean by some unknown, possibly socked, hand.

Oozinator’s Origins, Revealed!

Oozinator’s Origins, Revealed!

You’ve watched the video, you’ve read the reviews on Amazon, and now, we’re all going to hell just a little bit faster, thanks to a cartoon over at Words & Pictures.

The Oozinator Squirts Its Way Into Our Hearts

The Oozinator Squirts Its Way Into Our Hearts

The Oozinator really is the toy marketing blunder that just keeps on giving. First, the priceless television spot, in which a panoply of children suppress their gag reflex as they squeegee ropes of creamy, sticky gelatin off of their faces. For some of our readers, this was likely their first introduction to the exciting world of subliminal pedophile bukkake. But while actually purchasing an Oozinator will open you up to prosecution under a number of federal child-sex statutes, people are still managing to have fun with one, as the hilarious Amazon.com product review page will attest.

The Oozinator Delights Children

Hasbro Marketing Executive, a glowing light bulb bouncing merrily above his skull: “I’ve got it! First, we’ll design our new Supersoaker water gun with the shape and hue of a grotesque alien phallus. Then, instead of water, we’ll make it squirt ropes of thick, opalescent ooze! Finally, we’ll market it with a television spot in which a pan-ethnic rainbow of small children are the gleeful recipients to load after hot, sticky load shot all over their chests and faces! It’s a win!”