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LA improvers The AV Club imagine what must have happened in those heady moments just before Hasbro unleashed the Oozinator upon an unsuspecting nation. One voice of reason tried to explain, "The Money Shot," but his voice was drowned in a cacophonous sploogeathon.
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• Starting Wednesday, these guys WILL PAY YOU $50 for submitting a video review of a product. We should tell them all about the Oozinator. [ShopWiki]
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Captivated by the Oozinator squirt guns possibilities, mainly those involving its ability to shoot ooze, we ordered one. Here is the money shot. It fulfills all your hopes and dreams. This is but a preview of a longer ooze opus. Enjoy.
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We submitted our questions to Hasbro PR but for some strange reason we can't fathom, they're less than oozing out of their suits to speak with us.
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We're on a quest. We want to interview the Oozinator. We want to find out what was going on in Hasbro's minds when they created this product and its advertising.
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On Monday we found the innuendo splattered Amazon reviews for the SuperSoaker Oozinator (a squirt gun which shoots slime and water in a very phallic fashion) wiped clean by some unknown, possibly socked, hand.
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The Oozinator really is the toy marketing blunder that just keeps on giving. First, the priceless television spot, in which a panoply of children suppress their gag reflex as they squeegee ropes of creamy, sticky gelatin off of their faces. For some of our readers, this was likely their first introduction to the exciting world of subliminal pedophile bukkake. But while actually purchasing an Oozinator will open you up to prosecution under a number of federal child-sex statutes, people are still managing to have fun with one, as the hilarious Amazon.com product review page will attest.
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Hasbro Marketing Executive, a glowing light bulb bouncing merrily above his skull: "I've got it! First, we'll design our new Supersoaker water gun with the shape and hue of a grotesque alien phallus. Then, instead of water, we'll make it squirt ropes of thick, opalescent ooze! Finally, we'll market it with a television spot in which a pan-ethnic rainbow of small children are the gleeful recipients to load after hot, sticky load shot all over their chests and faces! It's a win!"
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Consumerist
psas
oozinator
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On Monday we found the innuendo splattered Amazon reviews for the SuperSoaker Oozinator (a squirt gun which shoots slime and water in a very phallic fashion) wiped clean by some unknown, possibly socked, hand.
More »
oozinator
oozinator
