Update: Some of our readers who are Sprint customers say they don’t think the screenshots are legit. We asked Sprint for an opinion, and they responded, “We had noticed the post on sprintusers.com earlier today and are tracking down the answer. I’ll get back to you asap.” We’ll post further updates when they arrive.
Tysons Corner, an upscale mall in the Washington, D.C. area, just pulled down over 400 ads that were recently posted in the city’s metro system because they looked an awful lot like the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, except instead of names of soldiers they had names of famous retail stores. We’re sure they would have gone with soldier names if any of the soldiers offered great deals on today’s hottest fashions. This is really on you, America’s Finest.
Reader Janet Butt was trying to sign up for an airline miles program when she ran into a prudish form processor that deemed her last name “illegal.”
We know there have been complaints from developers that it takes too long to get iPhone apps approved, or that Apple is behind on payments, or that it’s hard to know what they’ll reject and what they’ll accept. Well, apparently they’ll accept an application that “challenges users to see how long they can withstand the cries of a baby before they shake it to death.” Oh wait, they won’t, they pulled it after complaints yesterday. No, wait, they put it back up for sale today! Oh no now it’s gone again. Maybe they’re just making room for a Pistol Whip Your Spouse app.
So, those guys at AIG who underwrote trillions of dollars worth of credit default swaps backed by securitized mortgages? The ones the Times says were “at the very heart of A.I.G.’s worldwide conflagration?” They’re taking $165 million of our bailout money for bonuses. Because if we don’t pay them, these people—described by AIG’s government-appointed Chairman Ed Liddy as the “best and brightest talent”—will apparently leave to go ruin some other country’s financial system, and we can’t have that. Liddy acknowledged that the bonuses were “distasteful and difficult” before saying that he had “grave concern about the long-term consequences” of not paying up.
Here’s what you can expect from a nationalized Citibank, courtesy of Funny or Die. NSFW warning: this thing is full of f-bombs, and even an r-mine. (Full video after the jump.)
He is actually still here I as I e-mail you — I hate to be mean, but the BO is so bad, I am seriously choking. He left to get some parts out of the truck and the smell is so strong in my apartment I am going to need to open all of my windows for the rest of the afternoon just to get this smell out.
Ted Kefalinos, the proprietor of a bakery in Greenwich Village (a neighborhood in New York City), can’t understand why the media is having such a field day over his Drunken Negro Head cookies. They’re fun! Nobody complained about his dead geese cookies last week! He’s got a Cuban brother-in-law! We’d be more willing to believe it was just a bad marketing decision if it weren’t for the follow-up comments a customer alleged he made.
Pictured above are members of Argentina’s olympic soccer team, celebrating their trip to the Olympics in Beijing. Although they’re not the first Olympic team to strike this tasteless pose, they are the first to do so while wearing their corporate sponsor’s name on their jerseys.
Meet Dr. Herman I. Libshitz, a retired radiologist and potential Verizon customer who would like DSL. Sadly, Dr. Libshitz was informed that he could not use his name in his email address or as his user name because it has “shit” in it.
Meet Steph Tytus and Varun Nangia, two more readers whose names were too inappropriate for XBOX live. Varun was forced to change his gamertag, which was his first and last name, and Steph tried to create a band using her name so the world can know that she rocks. Sadly, Rock Band thinks her name isn’t “classy,” and spat our an error message.
McDonald's Worker Screams And Runs Away From Little People, Probably Shouldn't Be Assigned To Register
When Ethan Wade, who has dwarfism, went into a McDonald’s in South Carolina recently to order some food, the cashier took one look at him and ran off, waving her hands in the air and shouting “Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!” She kept shouting from the back, and another employee came up to tell Ethan that she had a phobia of little people. Said Wade:
An employee in the franchise office told Wade about what the woman had said. Wade said, “The employee had stated to her, ‘Imagine if you saw a snake or a spider, how would you respond?’ And that employee said she understood that. And I said, ‘That’s unbelievable. I am a human being.'”
A woman has filed a $200,000 lawsuit against American Airlines alleging the flight crew failed to protect her from a passenger who moved into the seat next to hers while she was sleeping, then “masturbated to her” and—well, you’ve seen “There’s Something About Mary”? Yeah, that.
Red Bull has pulled a nativity-themed ad from Italian television after a priest from Sicily denounced it as a “blasphemous act.” [Reuters]
Zara, a Spanish fashion chain, pulled a $79 bicycle-and-flowers themed handbag from shelves because of a customer complaint that it also had green swastikas embroidered on it. The bags were made in India and the swastika is a commonly used Hindu symbol. Zara claims the design it originally approved did not have the swastikas. [Reuters]