Man Sues Walmart After Being Bitten By Snake, But Keeps Going Back For The Deals

Man Sues Walmart After Being Bitten By Snake, But Keeps Going Back For The Deals

Ah, the irresistable pull of bargains! A man in Florida is suing Walmart because he was bitten by a pygmy rattler while shopping in the garden center in 2008. His is the third such attack in a Walmart in Florida since 2006, and he’s claiming the retailer should have taken better steps to prevent rattler bites after the first two attacks. Our favorite detail, though, is that he won’t stop going to Walmart, because “their prices are too good to shop elsewhere.”

CarX Auto Service Will Change Your Oil, Give You A Puppy

CarX Auto Service Will Change Your Oil, Give You A Puppy

Kari sent us this photo she took last night in Oak Creek, Wisconsin. We’ll give them points for finding a unique promotional angle, but we wonder if they saw sales increase or drop off? Update: is it legal to give away animals as a store promotion?

Japan Introduces Monkey Waiters; Blogger Scratches Another Business Plan Off His List

Japan Introduces Monkey Waiters; Blogger Scratches Another Business Plan Off His List

A Japanese sake house near Tokyo has stolen one of my ideas and employed monkeys as waiters—one brings hot towels to customers when they sit down, and another takes orders and delivers bottles of sake. They’re tipped in edamame, which U.S. waitstaff should seriously consider since you don’t have to report it, and since the dollar will soon be worth about the same anyway. Our favorite quote from the article: “‘The monkeys are actually better waiters than some really bad human ones,’ customer Takayoshi Soeno said.” Hold on to your hats, there’s video footage below!

This Inflatable Walmart Decoration Is Adorable. And A Murder Scene!

This Inflatable Walmart Decoration Is Adorable. And A Murder Scene!

We’re trying to figure out who this inflatable crime scene is meant for. With its puffy cuteness, built in lights, and “castle” style walls, it looks like it would be a perfect entrance to a backyard Halloween party for kids. But with its “crime scene noises” and someone-is-being-murdered vibe, it seems more appropriate at a celebration for short police academy graduates. Either way, it can be yours for $125 and a relinquishing of any sense of good taste. [Update: this post is meant humorously—I belly-laughed when I first saw the product.]

Escape The Rat Race With A Tiny House

Escape The Rat Race With A Tiny House

It’s not just supermarkets that are shrinking—you can also build yourself a 90-square-foot house to shack up in with your hunched-over spouse and children. You’ll save money! You’ll save the environment! Relatives will never expect to be given free room and board when they come to visit!

http://consumerist.com/2008/09/09/you-dont-have-to-be/

You don’t have to be the Princess of Wales or a former president to have a classy cortege after you die. All you have to do is live somewhere near Kansas City. After all, you paid a lot of money for that casket, so as many people should see it as possible. [Final Ride] (Thanks to Andrew!)

Life Still Empty? Buy Videotaped Autographs From The Stars

Life Still Empty? Buy Videotaped Autographs From The Stars

We can’t really mock the self-mocking William Shatner for his miraculous ability to keep earning money as a celebrity, sometimes even by acting, so instead we’ll roll our eyes at the dorks who are paying $150 and up for videotaped footage of Shatner reciting a personalized greeting into a video camera as he autographs a photo. And we’ll be secretly jealous of the entrepreneur who came up with the idea.

http://consumerist.com/2008/08/08/eight-people-bought-the-99999/

Eight people bought the $999.99 “I Am Rich” iPhone app before Apple pulled it from their store this week, reports the Los Angeles Times. “Six people from the U.S., one from Germany and one from France dropped a grand for the gem in the first 24 hours it was available.” The developer, Armin Heinrich, made $5,600 from those sales, while Apple made $2,400. I am currently developing an “I Am Now Richer” app to try to sell to Heinrich, since he’s got some extra spending money. [Los Angeles Times]

This Bath & Body Works Doesn't Accept Cash

This Bath & Body Works Doesn't Accept Cash

A.A. sent us these photos, and writes,

That’s the sign I saw at the Bath & Body Works store in a Tanger Outlet Mall in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. I didn’t go inside to find out if my legal tender was no good there or what, but I’m a fan of the site and thought y’all would get a kick out of the pics.

The U.S. Treasury says that’s fine, stores don’t have to accept cash. We’re just worried the people in Pigeon Forge know something about the U.S. dollar that we don’t.

Suspected Hat Stealer Drops Dead In Macy's

Suspected Hat Stealer Drops Dead In Macy's

Last Thursday, a 400-pound man in his early thirties was confronted at a Macy’s in Oakland, California, and accused of shoplifting a hat from the men’s department. According to CBS News in San Francisco, “Security officers at the mall then attempted to arrest and detain Gomes, who allegedly resisted and assaulted security personnel, according to police.” The police were called, but on their way to the mall they received a follow-up report that the man had become unresponsive. He died later that evening at a hospital.

http://consumerist.com/2008/03/27/the-us-isnt-the/

The US Isn’t the only wacky lawsuit country. In China, KFC won a defamation lawsuit filed by an elderly gentleman who accused the fast food chain of damaging his social standing, because he felt their “teadog set meal” implied that he and his grandson had become “dog friends.” [China Daily]

Restaurant Gives 25% Discount To Birthday Diners, Writes "Bug On Food" For Reason On Check

Restaurant Gives 25% Discount To Birthday Diners, Writes "Bug On Food" For Reason On Check

A restaurant in Dubai gave a 25% discount to a party of birthday diners after they found four bugs in their food. Says a restaurant official, “The guys thought being friendly and having a joke about the environment would relax the diners because it was a birthday, but unfortunately it didn’t.” We sort of think after the second or third bug, you should probably just comp the meal—and then shut down the restaurant for fumigation.

Pickled Mouse Foot Is A "Special Additive," Enjoy!

Pickled Mouse Foot Is A "Special Additive," Enjoy!

A woman in Slovenia who found a preserved mouse foot in her jar of pickles complained to the Health Ministry. A ministry official wrote back with a summary of how mice parts end up in factory-made food products, and then concluded, “A mice-foot therefore could be classified as a special additive to the pickles.”

http://consumerist.com/2008/01/17/the-astrologer-magazine-shuttered/

“The Astrologer” magazine shuttered in December 2007 due to “unforeseen circumstances.” Hmm. [Neatorama]

Christmas Cracker Contains Dead Mouse

Christmas Cracker Contains Dead Mouse

See, this is why we don’t pull apart “crackers” on Christmas in the U.S.—a New Zealand woman found a dead, partially decomposed mouse in hers earlier this week during her family’s Christmas celebration. “I had said to my granddaughter ‘what’s the smell’ and we couldn’t work it out until we pulled the cracker.” Then: Merry Christmas! There’s a dead mouse in yer lap! “It ruined my appetite for the rest of the day,” she told her local paper.

Crazy Realtor Torments Rival With Sex Ads

Crazy Realtor Torments Rival With Sex Ads

Well, this just further proves that real estate is the meanest profession. Dean “Cookie Kwan” Isenberg was arrested a week ago and charged with “posting fake escort ads on the Internet using a rival’s phone numbers, sparking hundreds of raunchy calls” and text messages to the woman and her daughter. The victim, Debbie Blasberg, was a former coworker of Isenberg’s who had “closed on a property he had been trying to sell.”

Chuck Norris: "I Can't Do All That Stuff"

Chuck Norris: "I Can't Do All That Stuff"

Chuck Norris is suing publisher Penguin and author Ian Spector over the book “The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 facts about the World’s Greatest Human”. Among other claims, the suit states that the “book’s title would mislead readers into thinking the facts were true.” This means that apparently Chuck Norris cannot cure your cancer with his tears, he did not create a giraffe by uppercutting a horse, and he cannot speak braille. If only Kevin Trudeau could be so honest.

Vacuum Kills Fleas As Effectively As Poison, Say Researchers

Vacuum Kills Fleas As Effectively As Poison, Say Researchers

If you end up with a bad case of Christmas Fleas next week—hey, we’re not judging—save yourself the expense of buying flea poison. “Vacuum cleaners kill fleas just as well as any poison, surprised U.S. researchers said,” noting that a “standard vacuum cleaner abuses the fleas so much it kills 96 percent of adult fleas and 100 percent of younger fleas.” Of course, you won’t be able to train them after that, but it’s your decision.