Deadly Spider Hijacks Grocery Store Bananas, Gnaws Off Its Own Leg To Escape Capture

(kyle tsui)

If you haven’t been eyeing those bunches of grocery store bananas suspiciously after past spider ambushes, this most recent incident might make you pay attention. Not only did a deadly, venomous Brazilian Wandering Spider jump out of a bunch of fruit delivered by a shopping service in the UK, but it was so dedicated to getting away from captors that it gnawed its own leg off. [More]

(frankieleon)

Florida Man Accused Of Humping A Stuffed Animal At Walmart, Putting It Back On The Shelf

In a move that will cause me to forever give the toy aisle the side-eye, a Florida man is accused of getting it on with a stuffed animal at Walmart and then putting it back on the shelf after he’d had his way with it. [More]

(smohundro)

Retail Experts: Sorry, But Stores Will Open Even Earlier This Thanksgiving

In 2013, we were scandalized that retailers rolled back their opening times, kicking off the Black Friday festivities as early as 6 A.M. on Thanksgiving Day. Not everyone found this idea horrifying, though, because retailers reported record Thanksgiving weekend sales last year. In their desperation to boost sales somehow by the end of 2014, experts in the industry say that America’s retailers are going to ignore that whole idea of a Thanksgiving holiday again this year. [More]

(Great Beyond)

We’re Filing Creepy Clown Motel Under “Things That That Should Stay In Nightmares”

If the richest person in the world walked up to me right now (Scrooge McDuck, he’s still in the lead, right?) and offered me my very own pool of money to swim in on the one condition that I stay at the Clown Motel overnight, well, my moneyswimming suit would stay firmly in its wrappings. Because if there’s one thing capable of turning even the most grown-up grown-up into a puddle of quivering, horrified mush, it’s clowns and the dark*. [More]