(Amazon)

Stuff No One Needs: Comic Sans Stencils

You know what’s even worse than using the font Comic Sans for every message you create on a computer, printed and online alike? Bringing the horror to the real world by using these two-inch-tall Comic Sans stencils. Don’t do it. Not even you, Banksy.  [More]

This ear canal vacuum is fun and healthy!

This Exists: Wax Vac, The Ear Canal Sucking Machine

The best infomercial/direct-response ad products solve problems that you had no idea you had. The Chia Pet? The Topsy Tail? The Shake Weight? The Snuggie? The Comfort WipeAll things that your life would have continued just fine without, but they make so much sense that you simply must have them. We’re not sure that’s the case with the Wax Vac, which combines the glamor of an ear thermometer with all of the fun of sticking an electric sucking machine in your ear while grinning. [More]

Also, it has four doors for some reason.

Perhaps You Would Like A Fridge With A Built-In Sodastream Or Hot Water Dispenser

Many of our friends and readers are big fans of the Sodastream, a device that lets you make your own sweet (or not-so-sweet) fizzy beverages at home. What if you could combine a refrigerator water/ice dispenser with the at-home carbonation technology of the Sodastream? Don’t rush to the patent office: Samsung has already introduced that product. It hits stores in April. [More]

Banana, sliced.

If You Find Using A Butter Knife Difficult And Dangerous, The Banana Slicer Is For You

In our hectic modern world, it’s difficult to find time in the day to pick up a butter knife and slice up a banana. I eat at least once sliced-up banana with peanut butter every day, and know this feeling well. That’s why someone decided to invent the Banana Slicer, which chops your banana into uniform slices with a single stroke. Because apparently that’s something that people want. [More]

(Paxton Holley)

Now At Walmart: Gingerbread Oreos

Here’s one bit of early Christmas merchandise that we’re not going to complain about. For once. Hitting shelves now, only at Walmart, introducing… gingerbread-flavored Oreos. [More]

Don’t Know How To Create A Pat Of Butter? Help Is Here

Don’t Know How To Create A Pat Of Butter? Help Is Here

Sure. You could take a stick of butter out of your fridge and cut a small slice off with a knife to butter your food. If you’re cooking and need to measure out a specific portion of butter, you could use a very sharp knife and follow the guide lines on the wrapper. Or you could buy a Butter Cutter, the device that cuts a perfectly-sized pat of butter for you without dirtying a knife or having to measure. [More]

You Don’t Need The Perfect Tortilla Pan. No One Does.

You Don’t Need The Perfect Tortilla Pan. No One Does.

Every time I look at a TV during the last few weeks, I see ads for the Perfect Tortilla, a wavy mold designed to help you make lovely edible bowls out of a regular store-bought tortilla. At home, visiting family, even at a sports bar: the ad is everywhere. What makes it annoying isn’t the spokesman who resembles a bald Billy Mays. It’s that this product is useless, even by the rarified standards of as-seen-on-TV merchandise. [More]

Everyone Compares This Korean Fitness Device To The Shake Weight For Some Reason

Everyone Compares This Korean Fitness Device To The Shake Weight For Some Reason

This Korean infomercial has sat unloved on YouTube for a year and a half, then suddenly galloped to fame this week. It pushes a product meant to simulate the great full-body workout that you get from riding a horse. “Horseback riding,” however, is not the first activity that most viewers think of while watching the product demo. [More]

Olive Oil ‘For Kids’ Is Apparently A Thing

Olive Oil ‘For Kids’ Is Apparently A Thing

Marketing material for Zoe brand organic extra virgin olive oil targeted at kids brags that it is “at the forefront of the burgeoning children’s health food market.” While it’s good news that there is food targeted at children that doesn’t contain alarming shades of food dye, high fructose corn syrup, trans fats, or even “cheez,” it’s still Olive Oil For Kids, and we’re still going to snicker at it. [More]

Happy Hot Dog Man Turns Your Frankfurter Into An Edible Stick Figure

Happy Hot Dog Man Turns Your Frankfurter Into An Edible Stick Figure

Infomercial products are all about solving problems that you didn’t realize you had. Did you know, for example, that the hot dogs you and your family eat are incredibly boring? It’s true. That’s why someone created the Happy Hot Dog Man. For only $10.99, you can create the unholy spawn of a frankfurter and a gingerbread man in your very own home. [More]

Slobstopper: Your Coffee And Donut-Blocking Poncho

Slobstopper: Your Coffee And Donut-Blocking Poncho

Have you ever sipped coffee while driving, and spilled it down the front of your shirt? Man, we’ve all been there. What if there were a product that could prevent such mishaps? Perhaps a massive synthetic backless poncho of an adult bib, with a handy homemade-looking infomercial, and with a gross name. Yes! That’s perfect! [More]

Crayola's Colorful Bubbles Delight Children, Stain Everything

Crayola's Colorful Bubbles Delight Children, Stain Everything

How would you like to blow bubbles in bright colors? Sounds awesome, right? Crayola’s new washable Colorful Bubbles seem like an amazing idea, especially if their bright colors don’t stain. Except some parents are complaining online that they kind of, um, do. [More]

"Forever Lazy" Describes Either A Product Or Its Target Market

"Forever Lazy" Describes Either A Product Or Its Target Market

Do you long for the warmth and comfort of a Snuggie, but would rather look like an overgrown infant than a demented cultist? Perhaps the Forever Lazy is what you’ve been looking for. It’s a fleece onesie that comes in toddler through adult sizes. While it doesn’t come with attached feet, it does have zippered flaps so you can go to the bathroom without getting cold. [More]

Holy Crap, The Electric Heated Snuggie Really Exists

I’ve never found the Snuggie all that appealing. “Call me when they make an electric, heated version,” I’ve always said. Yesterday, our man on the ground at the Consumer Electronics Show called. The Coz-E, an electric blanket with sleeves, debuted this past fall, and somehow nobody gave me one for Christmas. Or even told me. [More]

The Fuel Doctor FD-47 Is More Of A Fuel-Savings Quack

The Fuel Doctor FD-47 Is More Of A Fuel-Savings Quack

A basic understanding of physics should tell you that the Fuel Doctor–a small device that you plug into the 12-volt power outlet in your car–will not work. The gadget claims that by “conditioning” your car’s electrical systems, it increases power and gas mileage. But…why have none of the major automakers thought of this? Is it all a plot between the car and gas companies… or is the Fuel Doctor just automotive snake oil?

To find out, Consumer Reports plugged the device in to cars set up with sensitive fuel mileage meters, and also tested the vehicles’ power with and without the Fuel Doctor. Their verdict? Well, there are some pretty lights on the Fuel Doctor, so it makes a nice decoration.

Babycakes Makes Baking Cupcakes More Convenient, More Stupid

Babycakes Makes Baking Cupcakes More Convenient, More Stupid

This isn’t really a “new” product–it’s been around since at least this past spring, but it just recently came to our attention. Yes, if you are too impatient to wait the fifteen minutes or so that it takes to bake cupcakes and other small baked goods in a regular old oven, this monotasking, space-hogging glorified George Foreman grill is here to help you expand your waistline. [More]

It's Sort Of Like A Flowbee For Dogs, Except Not

It's Sort Of Like A Flowbee For Dogs, Except Not

My dog thinks that I’m always looking for new and innovative ways to torture her, such as toothbrushes, ear drops, and baths. She should be grateful that I don’t have a Dyson vacuum, since the company is launching a carefully designed pet-vacuuming attachment, which will go on sale in the U.S. in January 2011. [More]

Start Your Child's Beer Pong Training Early

Start Your Child's Beer Pong Training Early

Rounding out our trilogy of beer pong posts this week, here’s an exciting product that commenter Nic715 pointed out: Hasbro’s game Cuponk. Throw the ball into the cup, and lights go off and electronic noises sound. It’s a way to have some family fun and hone your kids’ skills long before they leave for college. [More]