So recently the APR for my Citicard, which I have had for years at the still-crappy yet manageable APR of 10.99% increased to a whopping 16.99%.

Holy cow, you may be thinking. You must be some kind of deadbeat!

Nope! I have never missed a payment on this card. I have kept a substantial balance on it for years, which I'm sure credit card companies like. It seems that Citibank was just randomly screwing me. Of course, I could always refuse to accept the increase—and then close one of my oldest credit lines and hurt my credit report. Nyuh-uh.

I immediately responded by bailing: I transferred a huge chunk of the balance to my Bank of America card, which is no good for purchases as it offers no rewards, but oftentimes has promotional rates on balance transfers. I also called Citi today. It was a marginally successful call, only because I did not get jerked around as much as anticipated.

The customer service rep was a girl named Angel with no marked accent; surprising, being as all of my contact with Citi so far has been with heavily-accented men who try to wheedle me into buying account protection. "But ma'am you may cancel at any time." But I digress.

I was polite yet slightly crazed. I told Angel 16.99% was the most ridiculous APR EVER. I told her that my first credit card that I applied for when I was 18 without any credit history offered me a lower APR than that. I told her I had several cards with lower APRs that hadn't raised them because of some vague "financial market" excuse. I told her I didn't want to use a card that would charge me 16.99%. I have options.

Angel fumbled politely for a bit, and quickly transferred me to her manager, which was a pleasant surprise.

The manager was understanding and also polite. After giving me more vague "financial market" excuses, she said she could review the card and POSSIBLY give me a lower APR. I then got to use my favorite phrase when speaking to customer service (in bold):

"I just don't see how I can continue to use a card that has such a high APR, especially when all of my other card like my Discover card offer me 9.99% or better. I'm sure you understand."

"Oh yes," she said. And she agreed that affective today, my APR would by 11.99. Not back to where it was, still crappy, but sure as hell better than 16.99. I am proud of my response:

"Well, I will accept the 11.99 APR, but I will probably still won't use this card ever again."

Cool like ice!

"Citicard: PremierPass to a high APR" [nicolestanfield.vox.com]

Please note that we didn't include a picture of the drawing because David might try to charge us for it. We really can't afford $233 right now.

Good Idea!: Man Submits Drawing Of Spider Instead Of Payment For Overdue Account [Geekologie] (Thanks to Anthony!)

Travelers can now receive up to $400 if they are involuntarily bumped and rebooked on another flight within two hours after their original domestic flight time and within four hours for international. They are eligible for up to $800 in cash if they are not rerouted by then. The final amount depends on the length of the flight and the price paid for the ticket.

Even stricter rules apply in Europe, where compensation ranges from 125 euros (about $185) to 600 euros (about $888), depending on the length of the flight and the amount of time the passenger will be delayed.

Compensation must be paid immediately in cash, or with a voucher if the passenger accepts it, and the airline must offer a choice of a refund, a return flight to their departure city or an alternative flight. Volunteers also receive compensation, which they negotiate with the airline.

Passengers are learning, however, that if an airline does not get enough volunteers at a lower figure, they might be able to bid up the offer, and also obtain sweeteners that include vouchers for meals, hotels, transportation and even plane tickets.

Baiting the bump is a proud tradition for many thrifty travelers. If negotiating provides a cathartic prelude to vacation, read our guide for getting bumped.

If your trip can't wait for vouchers and cash, we also have a handy guide for holding onto your seat.

As Overbooked Flights Rise, So Do Payoffs for Those Who Are Bumped [The New York Times]
(Photo: Getty)

A lot of these gestures and positions may strike some readers as obvious, but chances are you subconsciously lapse into them in various situations. If you can somehow master your body language and strike a pose that's splayed out, legs crossed, arms akimbo, with your fingers pressed together in a steeple, you'll probably be able to haggle anything successfully. (Please send us a photo of yourself in this position.)

"What We Say Without Words" [Washington Post]
(Image: Washington Post)

AOL lies to their customers and has a policy of refusing to escalate to supervisors:

If you refuse to pay your bill, AOL will threaten to ruin your credit (with AOL):

AOL's abusive relationship with its "members" is not new, but it is surprising how enthusiastically they have embraced the standard lies and deceit peddled by the debt collection industry. According to our tipster, the guide is from 2006, but the tactics and policies remain unchanged.

The only way to fight back against scummy collectors is to know your rights under the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act.

Read AOL's full collections guide, complete with other despicable practices, here.

PREVIOUSLY: EXCLUSIVE: Old AOL Cancel Script vs. New
AOL Retention Manual Revealed
Quit AOL By Fax, Mail, or Phone

Michael Roskell, 33, a technology project manager from Jersey City, N.J., said he and a friend from high school periodically visit electronics stores. While Mr. Roskell expresses interest in buying an item, his friend acts as though he is dissatisfied with the price and threatens to leave.

"We play good cop, bad cop," Mr. Roskell said.

In February, he said, the friends got $20 off a pair of $250 speakers at 6th Avenue Electronics in the New York area. Earlier, he and the same friend negotiated to buy two 46-inch high-definition Sony televisions at P. C. Richard & Son, a New York-area electronics chain.

List price: $4,300. Price after negotiation: $3,305.50.

"My parents never did this," Mr. Roskell said. "But once you get it, you realize there's a whole economy built on this."

The strategy can even work when buying pants. At least it did for David Achee of Maplewood, N.J., who said he went to a Polo Ralph Lauren store in the SoHo neighborhood of Manhattan last month and became interested in a pair of pants on the clearance rack for $75. He told the salesperson that he had seen a similar pair on the Internet for $65, adding that he thought the pair on the rack looked worn (even though he did not really think so). He got the pants for around $50, he said.

Among his other tactics, he said, he sometimes threatens to walk out of a store and go to a competitor, as he did recently to get a price break on a drum set at a music store. But, mainly, he relies on researching prices and coming armed with information — prices he finds on the Internet and in ads from competitors.

"You can negotiate, but you have to do your research," said Mr. Achee, who works for the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey. "When I'm bargaining, I'm bargaining with information."

Of course none is this groundbreaking or new; it's just becoming more accepted and widespread. What are your best haggling tactics? Share in the comments.

At Megastores, Hagglers Find No Price Set in Stone [NYT]
PREVIOUSLY: The Rebirth Of Haggling?
Pick Up Some Haggling Tips At HowToHaggle.com
(Photo: Getty)

I have been reading your site almost daily for a few months, and have seen where "insiders" give useful info to help get problems solved - and I have also noted where your site has advised readers having problems with their cell phone provider to contact the retention department...having been in the retention department for a small regional cell phone company for the past year, I wanted to share with your readers some tips to help them get what they are looking for. (I tend to get long winded, so feel free to edit out unneccesary content)

Basically, there are two reasons that people call retention, they either A) actually want to cancel, or B) want something, and feel that we will give it to them.

If you're in group A, a few things to make the transition go easier...

1 - Please be aware that the annoying questions that I'm asking about why you're canceling, and what carrier you're going to are obviously not for my good health. You are not required to answer the questions, but if I want to keep my job, I am required to ask them. If you don't want to be asked the questions, it would be best to port your number to your new carrier, in which case you don't even need to speak to the carrier you're porting from, just bring your account number, and password on the account if there one, to the new carrier, and we'll be done. Anybody else - this is your opportunity to air any greivences you have, and have them heard by the higher ups...however, if you are leaving, don't expect any courtesy credits for past inconveniences, etc.

2 - If you're wanting the ETF waived, please be advised that we are well trained and versed on the contract, so if you're arguing breach of contract, please have the copy of the contract with you, and be specific as to what you're fighting. As a rep, I'm required to basically argue the contract with you until you ask for a supervisor. So, if you don't like the answer, you can either ask to speak with the supervisor, or ask the rep if they can ask the supervisor on your behalf. Depending on your situation, either method has the possibility to get the fee either waived or prorated - note, though, if you want to talk to a supervisor, your best course of action is to call between normal business hours, b/c the appropriate supervisor may not be available otherwise.

(Ed. If you are trying to avoid the ETF, read our scripts for using materially adverse changes to escape your contract.)

3 - Even if you're not trying to fight the contract, you may want to take a look at it before you cancel - I know our company has a statement very visibly in the contract stating all cancellations occur at the end of your bill cycle. My advice would be to check on these things before you call to cancel, or port your number out so there are not unexpected bumps in the road.

Now, if you are calling because you want something, a few things to keep in mind.

4 - Your actual situation has little effect on the decision made. We look at multiple things, but I would say that the equation is a little like this: 40% account history/ARPU (average revenue per unit), 40% the actual request and 20% would be your situation and/or demeanor/attitude. Now, I know from reading this site, that most consumers feel like their attitude/deamenor, and the way they treat the rep should not have an effect on the outcome. In a perfect world, my friends, it wouldn't, but as much as reps may seem like robots, they're not. They, like you, do not react well when somebody is swearing and screaming at them or telling them what they will do. Be straight to the point - a long drawn out story about how the phone got busted is not really helpful, although saying "I broke my phone, and don't have insurance, and buying a new phone is more costly than the cancellation fee" will probably get you far since it is honest, and makes sense not only in terms of the business, but for you as well.

5 - Call retention only when you really need to. We're happy to help you, however, we do keep good notes of when you call, and what we did for you. Calling retention consistently when you want something or when something goes wrong will get you branded a frequent flier, and our management may note the account that no more retention efforts can be made on your account. That being said, there are other options out there.

For legitamit billing issues, try the general customer care staff, or your local retail store first. Escalate if need be, but honestly, there are of course times that people make mistakes, and these need to be fixed. Please try with the responsible party first, then, if there's no resolution, even after escalation, then retention is the place to go. But don't jump there first.

For upgrade fees/rebates, try asking your salesperson when you go to purchase the phone. Yes, we know the upgrade fees suck, however, if one company does it, and is making money off of its customers with it, then other carriers have to follow in order try to stay competative, so please don't ask why would we charge you the fee - it's nothing personal, we're just trying to stay in the game. Ask your sales rep about waiving the upgrade fee. This, like other things will come down to account history, and ARPU. If the sales rep declines, tell them that you'd like to cancel, so you can bring your service to another carrier, since most carriers waive the inital activation fees to attract new customers. At this point, they can put you in contact with retention - expect a little bit of a fight from the rep, though, since these fees are industry standard, though ultimately, it should not take much to get done. This may not work every time, and is most effective when the account is in good standing.

If your carrier has a payment services department, or a branch of billing allows you to make payment arrangements or get extensions on your bills, they may be able to get you onto a plan that's no longer offered to new customers. Just tell them that you're having a hard time paying your bill, and you were wondering if they had any older plans that might fit them better, or be less costly. They may, or they may not. This also works if you're paying for text/pictures or data access, but don't need the unlimited packages that most carriers are switching to, but still don't want to pay per use.

6 - Do your homework. We understand that there are people who call who are really not interested in canceling, but want to get something out of the carrier. Just do us a favor, and be direct. There's nothing worse than somebody calling in saying "what can you do to keep me as a customer?" The reason that's so highly offensive, is mostly because it is a time waster. You're wasting your time, and mine...because if you say that, I'm left guessing at what you really want. Do you want a phone for cheaper? Do you want your bill lower? Do you want a different phone, but don't qualify for an upgrade yet? If I don't know what you want, I'm left offering you things you don't really want. Please do us a favor. Indulge us. Be direct. If you want the phone for cheaper than what it's offered at, you could say something like "I really like the razr (or whatever), but can't see myself paying the ______ for it" Please don't say that it is free with Carrier X, especially if it isn't. If it is, we will usually try to get on their site, and explain how free once can cost you over the course of the contract - this isn't what you wanted to acheive, you want the phone for free, regardless of whether or not you'd pay more monthly with Carrier X. If you want the bill lowered, and find a better deal, and want us to match, let us know, if you want the bill lowered, but have done your homework and the plan you're on is at or lower than other carriers, don't make up a deal that's too good to be true. It's better to just say that it's too much monthly or something to that extent.

7 - If you don't want to sign a contract, your options on equipment are much more limited. You have a couple options from this point, though: You can go on a prepaid service, no contract, and often with carriers that do postpay services as well, the monthly rates are close to the same, you could see if we can give you the two year pricing on a one year contract, if you're okay with a shorter contract term, you could also see if they'd be willing to credit you a portion of the phone, (but don't expect it free without a commitment to stay with the company) or, you could ask the rep if they can find how much the company pays for the phone, and offer to pay that amount. Contracts are basically how ensure that we make up the discount given on the price of the phone and a given line (especially a shared line) doesn't become profitable until we've made that subsidy back - which can sometimes be over a year into a two year contract. If you're offering to pay what we pay, even if you stay only 3 months, it is essentially pure profit, and a pretty good business deal. You can also ask about refurbished phones, but we usually have to buy those, too, and for more than you think, so a lot of times, those won't be done if you're out of contract since we can't be sure we're not losing big sending it to you.

8 - Be reasonable - and be willing to negotiate. We are a for profit business (duh). To that end, we will try to find a course of action that fits both the customer and the company, but if you're not profitable, asking for something that's over the top, or have a history of escalating/calling retention to get what you want, then expect that your options may not match what you want to acheive - but we might be able to work something out with you. Also - with this one, admit fault when you're at fault - what I mean is, if you or your kid sent and received 3,000 text messages, but you didn't have a plan to cover it, it will go a lot further to say, we did this, we did not realize it was not covered, I can't keep the service if I have to pay for that - rather than trying to say it was a problem with the phone, or that the texts were not sent or received - those types of answers will only be met with resistance and the rep trying to explain to you how it happened - same goes for roaming charges, minute overages, or anything else that typically is unable to be credited as it is presumed to be in the control of the customer.

9 - Be aware of the return period. If you don't like the phone within the first 14 days, return it and find one you like, if you don't, please don't call us 8 months down the road saying this phone is a piece of junk it doesn't do anything, etc...you chose the phone. If it's broken, lost or stolen, or if you are at least a year through the contract, we may be able to help you with a replacement, but we don't often upgrade early in the contract because you don't like the features of the phone you chose. Also, please be aware if the phone is lost/stolen/damaged, that we are under no obligation to replace equipment, so if you're hard on phones, as much as it might be a ripoff, insurance might make things easier on you.

I'm sorry if this is too long winded, but hopefully, some of the information might assist your readers.

"Whether our prospects like it or not, their bodies and words say it for them," writes Laura Laaman for Business First. She lists a few basic signals salespeople should look for, which you may be providing without knowing:

• Your prospect retakes possession of the product after your presentation.
• Your prospect takes mental possession of the product or service. She could, for example, ask about the warranty. A novice salesperson thinks, "She's concerned about the warranty."
• When one person asks permission of another. This can happen verbally or nonverbally. The reason a person initiates the "what do you think?" look is because he thinks it makes sense to move forward but wants reassurance from another person. If your prospect is shopping alone, he could look to you or ask for your opinion, and say something like: "Which model is most popular?"

Why is it so important to react to these buying signals immediately? Because they go away almost immediately. Buyers' remorse sets in quickly, so hearing and reacting to the buying signals instantly often is the difference between a sale or not. An exception to this rule is when a customer asks about delivery or installation time.

When they are not ready to buy

• Avoiding eye contact with you
• Making 'not now' excuses
• Casual handling of the product
• Looking at many different products
• Moving around quickly

When they are ready to buy

• Spending time looking at one product type
• Looking around for somebody to help them
• Asking questions about the detail
• Asking about price
• Using possession language
• Asking another person's opinion
• Body state changes
• Touching the money

• Visualising language abounds — In the car business this came across with phrases like: "I wonder what my neighbours will make of the colour?" or "I can just see the kids in the back."
• Going over things more than once
• Nudging your boundaries — Questions that challenge aspects of your procedures often indicate pre-sale playfulness. "You asked for a deposit of $2000. Would you accept $1000?"
• Almost all references to money
• Questions about timing

"Learn customers' buying signals to make more sales" [Business First]
"Buying signals" [Changing Minds]
"Do you recognise buying signals?" [Flying Solo]
(Photo: Getty)

The plan, as always, is to give customer service one chance to provide they help they're supposed to provide, and then to manage the situation so that you end up in the hands of executive-level customer service—usually by calling a corporate number and trying to speak directly to an executive.

At that point, he's usually transferred to Escalated Customer Service. "Here you tone down your act and say you can't believe that the company treats consumers this way and that there are other companies that want my business," says Sweet. "Always remember to be nice here."

The next step is the same every time. "They will say they need to look into it and will get back to you," he says. "They always do. I figure it's during this time that they look at your account and see how much money they will lose if you go elsewhere. That is why I assume that having perfect credit with them is important."

Consumer Reports says, "Now."

The auto industry's marketing machine is firing on all cylinders, barking clearance deals on 2007 models in newspaper, radio, and television advertising. Such dramatic discounts are enough to grab the attention of any in-market car buyer, but Consumer Reports Auto Price Service's analysis shows that there is even more potential savings than shoppers might realize.

How to drive a great, end-of-summer new car deal [Consumer Reports]
(Photo:HurleyFamily)

Alan Vallillo, a property manager, dropped the price of his three-bedroom, 2 1/2-bath condo in Trumbull, Conn., by $20,000 to $549,000 last weekend. The lower price will make it easier for a buyer with a down payment of roughly 25 percent to qualify for a conforming loan, says Mr. Vallillo's broker, David D'Ausilio of Re/Max Heritage in Westport, Conn.

In addition, Mr. Vallillo, who plans to move into a new home in late September, is offering to buy down the interest rate on the buyer's mortgage loan by two percentage points in the first year and one percentage point in year two. He says he hopes the interest rate buy-down will "spur (someone) to drop the price on their home so they can buy mine."

Jason Godfroy, a teacher, recently set a $465,000 asking price for his four-bedroom colonial in Adamstown, Md., on the advice of his agent, John MacArthur. "To get people in, (they) had to be able to get a conforming loan" and not a jumbo mortgage, Mr. Godfroy says. With 10 percent down, "that puts you at $418,500."

Jane Powers, a broker with Ewing & Clark Inc. in Seattle, says that one of her clients recently offered $1.7 million for a waterfront home listed at $1.995 million - and also asked the seller to provide financing. The buyer, who is self-employed, said that he was likely to need a loan that didn't require him to document his income, which is getting tougher to find. "He was using it as leverage to try and get better terms," Ms. Powers says. "It didn't work."

Borrowers with good credit are paying higher rates [WSJ]
(Photo: AFP/Getty Images)

Hi Meghann, nice work on Consumerist. You all do a great job, and I enjoy the blog, read it a lot, and learn a lot from it. I thought I would run a situation/question by you and see if you all have any answers or know where to find them.

I follow all the sneaky stuff credit card companies do, like increasing your interest rate if you are late on another payment. A few weeks ago I got a letter that my balance had been doubled, even though I had never asked for it to be.

Last time I checked my credit rating, I had no late payments on anything, and my score was pretty good (700+ I believe). Anyhow, while paying bills last night I noticed that my credit card charges me 18% on newer charges, and 30+% on charges before Jan 2006!! 30%!! Highway robbery.

So I don't know if you can answer any questions or point me in the right direction, but my questions as a consumer are:

1) What are my chances of getting the interest rates lowered if I call and threaten to cancel my account and transfer the balance to another card. I get dozens of credit card offers for much lower interest (in the short term) in the mail weekly.

2) Is it true that having a credit card for a long time helps your credit? I have had this card for 14+ years and would hate to cancel it and ding my credit.

3) If I open a new account to transfer the balance too and leave the original credit card active (but with no balance) will adding the new card ding my credit?

I am thinking if I got a card with 6% interest for 1 year, I could transfer the balance, and with the difference in interest rates, pay a huge chunk off vs what I would do paying the same amount on the older card. But at the same time, if I can threaten to pull my account from the original card and get a lower rate, I would rather do that.

Any pointers, tips, or thoughts?

Thanks,
Brian

Hi, Brian. Thanks for writing. Don't worry, you concerns are not unusual. With so much importance places on your credit score, lots of people are in a panic not to disturb the beast. Thankfully, nothing you're about to do should hurt your score that much.

Let's answer your questions one at a time:

1) What are my chances of getting the interest rates lowered if I call and threaten to cancel my account and transfer the balance to another card. I get dozens of credit card offers for much lower interest (in the short term) in the mail weekly.

This depends entirely on your bank. The good news is, it doesn't cost anything to try! What you'll want to do first is research the best credit offers. There are several websites that help you do this! Armed with the knowledge of another bank's offer—call your bank and ask them to match it. If they won't, then they won't, but you've lost nothing because your research for the next step is done.

2) Is it true that having a credit card for a long time helps your credit? I have had this card for 14+ years and would hate to cancel it and ding my credit.

Your credit score is broken up into several categories that are considered when calculating your score. One of them is length of credit history. So, yes. Closing this account would shorten your credit history. Thankfully, you don't need to close it. You can leave it open and transfer your balance.

3) If I open a new account to transfer the balance too and leave the original credit card active (but with no balance) will adding the new card ding my credit?

Uh, sort of. New applications for credit have an impact on your score, but not a huge one. If, say, you go around applying for and getting denied from 12 credit cards a day—yeah, that's bad. Simply opening a new card that you can afford? You'll be fine.

So to sum up: Research the best offers available to you. Call your bank and ask them to match them. Act accordingly. Keep your old card open, but don't run up another balance. Pay off your balance!

Sound like a plan? Good luck, Brian! Any suggestions for Brian in the comments? Have you been there? What did you do? —MEGHANN MARCO

BRIAN'S HOMEWORK: Easily Compare Best Credit Card Offers
HOW TO: Play 0% Balance Transfer Credit Cards For Fun And Profit
Discover: 0% APR For Life Decoded
Save On Your Credit Cards With Savings Agent
Attention: You Lowered Your APR Just By Asking, Again.
Attention: You Rock At Lowering Your APR

(Photo: Sam Wilkinson)

Joe read our "Confessions of a Cellphone Sales Rep" series and took the advice shopping with him. The result was an informed customer negotiating the best deal with a variety of providers. Joe says, "You're not there to buy a cell phone, you're there to sell a new two-line activation with a text plan. If you approach the sales conversation from that direction, it makes it easier to walk away from salespeople who aren't willing to help you get the deal you want."

What really stood out about Joe's letter is that he sold the salespeople on his business. Sure, it takes more work than just buying whatever offer comes along, but as Joe found out, you can save a lot of money by making businesses compete for your cash. And that's what we're all about. Read Joe's email inside.

Joe writes:

I've been a Consumerist reader from the inception of the site, and I wanted to share with you a story of how your advice saved me hundreds of dollars when shopping for a new cell phone provider. My wife and I have had cell phones with Verizon Wireless for almost two years now, and our contract ends in May. Cell phone contracts are a hot topic on The Consumerist, so I decided to put the advice of fellow readers and the confessions of cell phone salesmen to the test. Two months before my Verizon contract ended, I set out to find the best deal on a new cell phone contract.

My current calling plan with Verizon is 500 minutes a month for $59.99, plus $10 for the second line. We get free in-network calling, and most of our family members use Verizon, so we burn a lot of free minutes. My goal is to find a comparable calling plan and a way to get free or cheap phones thrown in. Based on the advice of other Consumerist readers, I'd like to stay away from Sprint and Cingular unless I can get an incredible deal, as their customer service seems to be pretty poor. I've had my own horrendous experiences with Verizon DSL, so I'd also prefer to send my money to another company if possible. So my first choice is T-Mobile, followed by Verizon, then Sprint and Cingular.

On March 12th, I took a trip to the local mall. Like every other mall in America, ours has both kiosks and storefronts for several major cell providers (we don't have a Sprint store). My first stop was the Verizon Wireless store, to see what their salesman would tell me. I browsed for a few minutes, then approached a salesman with the following pitch:

"I have a two-line family plan with Verizon, and my contract is coming up at the end of next month. I've never had any trouble with Verizon, and I'm shopping around to see what kind of deals I can get on some new phones if I renew my contract. What kind of offers are you running today?"

I could see the switch in the sales rep's head turn off the moment I said I was already with Verizon. That simple fact transitioned our encounter from a "potential new activation" to "existing customer buying hardware." After I was finished asking my question, his eyes fell to his computer screen, he tapped a few keys on the keyboard, and without looking at me he said "You can get the discount price on the phones." When I asked what that meant, he continued typing and said "You can get the price on the phones advertised on the stickers. And your primary line also gets a $100 credit toward your next phone." So essentially, Verizon's offer to renewing customers is the priviledge of buying new phones at the normal price, with a $100 credit toward one phone. I knew from reading the terms of my upgrade agreement that this would require another two-year contract as well. I thanked the salesman and left.

My next stop was the T-Mobile store. I browsed for a few minutes before approaching a salesperson named Jennifer. My pitch was similar, but I wanted to try to hook her with the idea that a new activation was literally walking up and saying hello. Here's what I said:

"I have a two-line family plan with Verizon, and my contract is coming up at the end of next month. I've never had any trouble with Verizon, but I'm shopping around to see what kind of deals I can get from other providers. I'm interested in getting some new phones, a text package, and a two-line family plan with at least 500 minutes. What kind of offers are you running today?"

Jennifer picked up a sales pamphlet and proceeded to give me her standard sales pitch. Two lines at 700 minutes for $69.99 (with five free "My Faves" numbers), plus $10 for text, plus a $70 activation fee, plus sticker price for the two phones. The standard drill. When she was finished, I told her that my current plan with Verizon was not only cheaper, but that they were offering an upgrade bonus of $100. Without breaking eye contact, and without looking up any additional information, she simply said "I can't match that. All of our promotions are in the pamphlet." No dice. I thanked her and left with my pamphlet.

Next up, Cingular. I found the Cingular kiosk and gave the salesman the same line I gave to T-Mobile. Joe the Cingular guy seemed a lot more interested in talking to me, and the first thing he did was was help me pick out two phones that would meet my needs (good move, by the way, getting me excited about the gadgets before talking about plans and pricing). We started going over plans, but his offer was pretty bad... $69.99 for 700 minutes, $10 for the second line, $10 for text, plus activation and full price for the phones. Cingular also didn't offer a free-outgoing plan like T-Mobile's "My Faves," and I don't know anyone else who has Cingular so free in-network calling does me no good. At face value, there is no way I would ever sign up under this plan. However, I wanted to see how low we could go, for the sake of the game. And so the sales pitch continued.

We "settled" on this plan, and I moved the conversation back to the phones. My wife wanted a basic RAZR model, and I was interested in something that could play mp3s. Joe told me that the RAZR would run me $50 and the cheapest mp3-capable phone he had was $120 (both after mail-in rebate, of course). I asked if I could get the rebates in-store, rather than mailing them in. I also asked if there were any additional offers or discounts available if I signed up on the spot. Joe went to talk to his manager, and came back with a firm "no." We looked at each other in silence for a minute, and I sensed that our conversation was more or less at an end. I was looking at a fairly expensive calling plan, with no free destination numbers, and no discounts off the sticker price of the phones. Taking a tip I read on The Consumerist, I hemmed and hawed, and gave Joe my name and cell phone number. I told him to call me "if any additional discounts or promotions become available before the end of the month."

So it seems that shopping for cell phone deals on the 12th of the month is a bad idea. My trip to the mall was entirely fruitless. After visiting three major providers, I failed to get even one penny off the basic printed promotions from any of them.

The next day, I called Verizon Wireless's call center, to see if I could wrangle a better deal out of their customer support people. The call was actually fairly pleasant, with only two IVR options and a couple seconds of hold time. I expected to be transferred to a Retention Specialist when I fired off the trigger phrase "When does my contract end?" but the front-line rep kept me on the line himself. After I gave him the same pitch I gave the Verizon store, and he offered me the exact same deal, phones at standard price with one $100 credit. However, he also told me to visit the website, because I would also qualify for any "buy one get one free" offers available (of course, the "get one free" was only good for the cheapest $20 phone on the site). So, four sales contacts later, I was still banging at the gate trying to get past the printed promotions. I decided to try again at the end of the month, when salesmen would be more desperate to meet quotas.

On March 31st, I headed back to the mall. Joe never called me back, and Cingular's promotion was so terrible that I just assumed they were a lost cause. The Verizon Wireless store gave me the exact same offer I'd heard twice already, so no help there. I found a different salesman at the T-Mobile store to talk to, and he gave me my first break, albeit a small one. After explaining my current plan and what I was looking for, he offered to do the mail-in rebates in-store, but wouldn't go any further (for those who don't know why this is a big deal, if you get the rebates redeemed in-store, you can usually mail them in anyway. In essence, a retailer who gives you the rebates in-store gives you the rebate twice). My last stop for the day was Simply Wireless.

I approached a salesman named Nick at Simply Wireless. I hit Nick with the same pitch I'd delivered to T-Mobile and Cingular. He asked which provider I preferred, and I gave him my list in order. We looked at some T-Mobile phones, and I picked out a RAZR v3 ($100) and an mp3-compatible Samsung t629 ($150), both with $50 mail-in rebates. He offered me the same plan I'd seen at the T-Mobile store... 700 minutes for $69.99, $10 for text, $70 activation. I explained Verizon's offer, and their "buy one get one" promotion. That didn't faze Nick.

"No problem, I'll knock $50 off the price of the RAZR, so you'll end up getting it for free after the rebate."

Jackpot. Finally, after almost three weeks and seven sales contacts, I finally found someone willing to work with me for a sale. I told Nick that I would definitely be interested in activating with T-Mobile through him, but only if we could work out an activation deal that would be comparable in price to Verizon's offer. And there was still the matter of the $100 upgrade credit. Nick didn't waste any time addressing that, however.

"Well, how about I knock another $50 off the price of each phone, would you be interested then?"

Now we're really getting somewhere. I asked for a copy of the contract to look over, so I could get the gears in motion and give the impression that I was ready to buy. We solidified the calling plan, and I asked Nick what my total out-of-pocket expense would be if I signed up on the spot. He told me I would be paying $100 for the Samsung phone plus a $70 activation fee, and I would walk out with $100 worth of mail-in rebates. I figured that was pretty good, but I had one more card I wanted to play. Because I was a returning customer, Verizon wouldn't charge me an activation fee.

"No problem. We'll strike the activation fee too, if you'll sign the papers tonight."

I took a minute to take stock of Nick's offer. The calling plan was the same price as my plan with Verizon (because T-Mobile doesn't charge a fee for the second line), but with 200 more minutes and no activation fee. The five free "My Faves" numbers would cover most of our minutes, meaning we'd probably never go over our plan. We were getting paid $50 to take a RAZR v3, and paying $50 for a Samsung t629 (after rebate), and the activation fee was waived. This offer seemed to meet my original goal - find a calling plan comparable to the one I had, and get some free phones.

The only hitch was my contract expiration date of May 11th. I told Nick I didn't want to pay for overlapping service, and he said he could post-activate my account to come online on May 12th. I honestly wasn't expecting to sign any papers that night, but I felt like this was a deal I couldn't pass up. I started reading my copy of the contract, and Nick got on the phone with T-Mobile to push the paperwork.

The story isn't quite over, though. It seems T-Mobile can only post-activate a maximum of 30 days in advance. That would put my activation date at April 28th, and I'd essentially be paying for two cell phone packages from 4/28-5/11. I told Nick this, and he put T-Mobile on hold to talk to his manager. He came back with more good news.

"How about if we knock another $20 off each phone, to compensate you for having to overlap services?"

Well ok, at that point I was willing to commit. I signed the contracts, paid a total of $78 for the two phones after tax, and left with two $50 mail-in rebate forms. What a difference from Cingular's offer, which would have had me paying $10 more a month and at least $250 more up front for the phones!

As an epilogue, I recently called Verizon Wireless to cancel my service with them. To be honest, I wanted this call to happen before I signed a contract with another provider, because I wanted to see what Verizon would offer me when I put them up against the wall. But I'm happy with the contract I signed with T-Mobile, and I didn't think Verizon would be able to beat it. The Verizon Wireless IVR was very painless, and I had Jessica on the phone within 60 seconds of connecting the call. She took my account information, but again I was not transferred to the Retention department (maybe they don't have one?). I told Jessica I wanted to cancel. When she asked why, I told her it was because I got a better offer from another provider, and she asked me what the terms of my new agreement were. Normally, I wouldn't disclose the details of T-Mobile's offer, I would just ask her to give me Verizon's best package so I could make my decision. But, since I already signed a contract, I went ahead and explained the deal. As I expected, we chatted for a few minutes (she was very friendly), and she came out and offered me the exact same deal I got with T-Mobile. I thanked her for the offer, and asked to proceed with the cancellation.

What has this taught me, and what advice can I give customers looking for a good deal on cell phones? From where you're sitting right now, there are probably a dozen places to buy a cell phone within five or ten miles. That level of competition puts a tremendous amount of power in your hands. In fact, you are the real salesman here, not the person representing the cell phone retailer. You have a high-value commodity to sell (a new cell phone activation), and it should be your goal to sell your activation to the retailer who's willing to give you the best deal for it. That's why I refer to my opening line as my "pitch." You're not there to buy a cell phone, you're there to sell a new two-line activation with a text plan. If you approach the sales conversation from that direction, it makes it easier to walk away from salespeople who aren't willing to help you get the deal you want.

- Joe

One thing we find interesting about Joe's story is that he ended up with one of those "other" wireless dealers. The relationship between the phone companies and the "other" dealers is a strange and rocky one. The cellphone company reps write us, practically foaming at the mouth, saying that they're all a bunch of shysters.

The shysters tell us the cellphone company reps are lazy fratboys (or fratpersons, whatever) who don't care about you and won't give you a good deal. He said, she said. We say: Talk to whomever will give you the best deal and use your best judgment. Yes, there are shady cellphone dealers out there. But there are good ones, too. You need to be savvy enough to tell the difference.

Learn what Joe learned by reading "Confessions of a Cellphone Sales Rep"! —MEGHANN MARCO

(Photo:cmorran123)

RELATED:
8 Confessions Of A Former Verizon Sales Rep

7 Confessions of a Cingular Sales Rep

6 Confessions Of A Former Sprint Sales Rep

11 Confessions of a T-Mobile Sales Rep

8 Confessions of an Alltel Sales Rep