If you're one of those people, at least you have an out if you bought it in the last 30 days. Right on the page where you can add the iPod to your cart, they say that "with our 30/30 Guarantee on most products, you can be assured of complete satisfaction and the lowest available price, or your money back!" We confirmed with a very nice CSR on the phone that the guarantee applies to iPods, so good luck with that. Maybe you can spend that recaptured $100 on some Monster Cables.

(Thanks to Scott!)

If you're a podcast sort of person, Get Rich Slowly has a list of 12 personal finance podcasts that they say are the best of the bunch—informative, entertaining, well-produced, and unique. "Money Girl's Quick and Dirty Tips for a Richer Life" is their top choice:

The episodes are succinct but informative, and offer practical tips for dealing with money: how to improve your credit score, good debt versus bad debt, how to adjust your withholding, and wealth secret number one.

Another one to note, especially if you're in the 25-34 age bracket, is "Feed the Pig". It's sponsored by the Ad Council and the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants, and it covers those topics you somehow missed growing up, like "student loans, emergency funds, and buying a new car."

"Twelve Top Personal Finance Podcasts" [GetRichSlowly]
(Photo: Getty Images)

From The Somogyi Perspective:

However, a week ago, I decided to purchase an MP3 album from Amazon's MP3 store. (Rage Against the Machine's "Evil Empire", if you MUST know.) I'd totally forgotten about 2 things, by this point:

1 - That my old, canceled card was linked to my Amazon account.

2 - That I'd turned on "1-Click" purchasing for MP3 albums.

So, I clicked purchase and the album immediately started downloading. It was at this point that I had the thought cross my mind: "Did I update my credit card info?"

Well, no, I didn't. Before the album finished downloading, I was trying to change the method of payment. Turns out, for a digital purchase, you can't do such a thing. So, I waited and wondered was was going to come of this...

An angry letter from Jeff Bezos, perhaps?

Well, I DID receive a letter - via e-mail - telling me that they could not successfully charge my card, and that my purchases would be canceled.

Now, I'd already downloaded the album. So, I opened up my music folder, and - even though I knew there was no way they could do this - expected the music to be missing... or at least unable to play. I was wrong on both accounts. I still had the music, and it still played.

Well, it was never my intent to dupe the giant corporation, nor steal from them, so I wanted to put this right. I'd bought the album - I wanted to pay for it.

So I went to Amazon and found their "contact us" page and used their nifty "Call me back" feature. In a couple of seconds my phone rang. The hiss of static on the line let me know that my case was important enough for someone in India to make a long-distance call to set things right.

I explained the situation, and I was met with silence. After a pause, I resumed my case, pleading, "I didn't MEAN to steal. I just want to pay for what I bought."

Another moment of stunned silence followed. Right now, I could only imagine what the operator on the other end of the line was thinking. (Probably the same thing a cop thinks when a criminal turns himself in... that being, "WHY?!"... Well, either that, or he was scrolling through all of the computer-based answers to find the correct response to "Fraudulent purchasers is calling to make good on payment - which is probably buried way deep in the page, as it's not often used.)

Finally, the operator chuckles a bit and says, "Well, thank you for your honesty... ummm... but digital download transactions are charged at the point of purchase. We CAN'T charge you again. What you can do, is re-purchase the album, if you REALLY want to be charged for the purchase."

Well, that's very kind of them. Don't you think?

Amazon Doesn't Want My Money [The Somogyi Perspective] (Thanks, James!)

In March, a court told EMI it couldn't demand that MP3tunes turn over all the music stored by customers on its servers. Robertson writes on his corporate blog that the request is absurd:

Files are not MP3tunes' possessions any more than the contents of a safety deposit box are owned by the bank that houses them. The storage provided by MP3tunes is the user's own space. A Locker is empty when someone opens an account and that customer decides what files are placed into their Locker. All files are stored at the request of the user. People who choose to utilize remote storage should be guaranteed the same level of privacy they have for the files stored on their local hard disk.

As you may be aware, the major record label EMI has sued MP3tunes, claiming our service is illegal. You can read about the case here. Much is at stake — if you don't have the right to store your own music online then you won't have the right to store ebooks, videos and other digital products as well. The notion of ownership in the 21st century will evaporate. The idea of ownership is important to me and I want to make sure I have that right and my kids do too.

"Court Ruling Denies EMI Access to Millions of Personal MP3 Files" [MIchael Robertson]

Microsoft's Zune actually came in second place, but when you compare price and battery life, the Sansa View is the better value.

• Apple iPod Touch - great sound and interface
• Microsoft Zune - great sound, great UI but hypersensitive
• SanDisk Sansa View - half the price of the Touch, navigation mimics traditional iPods, great sound
• Creative Zen - large screen but requires too much button mashing
• Samsung P2 - touchscreen is "finicky", sound is "flat"

The P2P-turned-legit subscription service announced this morning that it will begin selling unprotected copies of its entire catalog in MP3 format beginning in the second quarter of 2008. Users of the service will be able to buy individual DRM-free tracks and albums, but Napster's subscription service will remain unchanged. The company hailed the announcement as the first subscription service "featuring major label content" to announce plans to sell unprotected MP3s.

Sort of makes you wonder: Couldn't they have started doing this, like, 7 years ago?

Napster goes back to MP3s [Ars Technica]

From WSMV:

There were video clips of XXX rated sex scenes, and the pornography was so graphic that Channel 4 could not broadcast it.

"I wish I could take the thoughts and images out of her head," said Hill.

The Hills had bought three MP3 players for their children that came from a Wal-Mart store in Sparta, Tenn. It turns out one of the MP3 players had been returned to the store from a previous owner who loaded sex clips, graphic war scenes and lyrics about using drugs.

The Hills want to know why Wal-Mart would sell used merchandise as new in the first place, which is in violation of its own policies.

"If they want to be a major retailer, they need to act like it," said Hill.

Walmart offered to replace the MP3 player, and confirmed that used merchandise is not supposed to be placed back on the floor. The family declined Walmart's offer because, "They've already bought their daughter a new one and are hanging onto the controversial one until they talk to a lawyer."

Good luck with that one. The great inappropriateness lawsuit of 2008. Is William Jennings Bryan still alive?

Check technology items before you hand them over to your kids, people!

Child's 'New' Player Loaded With Porn [WSMV](Thanks, Michael!)

Customers "can feel confident" their songs will play on whatever music device they buy in 2008, said Pete Baltaxe, Amazon's director of digital music.

"We're very pleased with where we are," Baltaxe said of customer adoption of the music service, though he would not provide data on downloads to date or site traffic.

U.S. album sales were down 14 percent in late November from a year earlier, according to Nielsen SoundScan data, as a growing number of fans buy individual songs online or use free file-sharing.

Digital music revenue has been growing in the double-digit percentages, but the total take is not enough to make up for the shortfall in compact disc sales.

Dear Stacy,

Thank you for writing in to Creative Technical Support Services, we appreciate the opportunity to assist you.

From the description you had provided, I can see that your ZEN Player has stopped working abruptly. You mentioned on your mail that your player boot up up to Creative Logo and then it froze and it just the back lit black. You mentioned that you had tried recovery tool but it seems like your player won't recognized by your PC. I can imagine this is a frustrating experience. I apologize that you are having issue with this product and it is causing you to not enjoy it as intended.

Initially, you were provided with some basic suggestions on how to troubleshoot the issue that you have identified. These tips have
resolved majority of the issues with your product. You may find that some of the information in this message is repetitive, but it is still helpful/beneficial in troubleshooting the issue.

To assist you further, here are some suggestions that you can try:

1. Reset the player with the little pin hole twice while connected to the computer and then 3 times while not connected to the computer.
2. After you reset it the last time, you will need to get to the recovery mode by pressing and holding the play/pause button on the player and then turning it on again without letting go of the play/pause button until you see recovery mode on the screen.
3. Then, let go of the button and perform cleanup 3 times and format twice.
4. ThenI want you to reload the firmware twice and on the second time I want you to go ahead and install the latest firmware for the player while it is connected to the computer. You can get the latest firmware for free from our web page at

http://us.creative.com/support/downloads/

- select your product MP3 Players > Zen > Zen 4GB/8GB/16GB > click NEXT
- choose a language: English > operating system: Windows XP > file type: All > click GO

Please DO NOT CHOOSE AUTO UPDATE this time.

I'm confident that the suggested resolutions will resolve your issue. However, if you're still experiencing the complications, please don't hesitate to reply to this thread with the history intact so that we can continue working with you.

Meanwhile, to enhance your listening experience with your Zen, you may want to consider buying our Creative Zen Aurvana. This is an
acoustically and ergonomically designed in-ear earphones that deliver superb audio quality, noise isolation, and comfort. For more details on this product, please refer to the link below:

http://us.creative.com/products/product.asp?

If you still require assistance, please reply to this email with any previous correspondence to ensure the quickest and most accurate service.

Best Regards,

Rafael
Technical Support
Creative Labs Americas

- - -

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The idea is that stupid people will click it, then hear a voice telling them to buy XYZ stock, and do it.

Ars Technica says:

The files are given innocuous-sounding names like elvis.mp3, oursong.mp3, smashingpumpkins.mp3, or coolringtone.mp3. The payload is disappointing: a voice recording touting the virtues of some corporate stock; in other words, it's pump-and-dump stock spam in a new format. It's also a dumb idea. The overlap of those gullible enough to click on MP3 files of unknown provenance and those willing and able to invest in a stock that they've never heard of is certainly minute. It's bound to be more of an annoyance than anything else and seems unlikely to result in the desired stock purchases.

55 percent of e-mail bandwidth [Ars Technica]
(Photo:Getty)

The Forbes journalist writes, "But more surprising is that fans chose to steal music they could legally download for any price they choose," but it's not clear whether that's the analyst's opinion or the writer's. At any rate, we think it's overstating the issue. Even the analyst admits that it's not proof that Radiohead's fans are a mutinous lot of anarchists:

Garland argues that this kind of digital theft is more a matter of habit than of economics. "People don't know Radiohead's site. They do know their favorite BitTorrent site and they use it every day," he says. "It's quite simply easier for folks to get the illegal version than the legal version."

But for Doug Lichtman, an intellectual property professor at the UCLA School of Law, the volume of piracy following In Rainbows' release erodes the success of Radiohead's innovation. "If the community rejects even forward-thinking experiments like this one, real harm is done to the next generation of experimentation and change," he says.

Lichtman speculates that users may have interpreted Radiohead's offer as a giveaway and so felt more comfortable downloading the album from other free sources. Fans may also have been turned off by the band's requirement that users register by providing their name and e-mail and postal addresses.

"Free? Steal It Anyway" [Forbes via Slashdot]
(Photo: Getty)

For example, the revamped SanDisk Sansa View has double the memory and a slightly bigger screen than the new iPod Nano, plus an FM tuner, microphone, and expansion slot, and it costs the same amount. Is it as nice looking? Meh, it's getting hard to tell at this point, if you value functionality over form. Even the Zune—with a capacity and price equal to the iPod—is starting to look decent, with its well-designed interface, strong styling, and broader format support.

The one thing you'll miss out on is the ease-of-use of being locked into the iTunes/iPod symbiotic relationship. Depending on how comfortable you are with figuring out a new syncing set-up, this may or may not be an issue for you.

The article brings up another potential drawback, depending on how you look at it: you won't find anywhere near the same aftermarket support when it comes to accessories and cases. But then again, if the product is made properly, it doesn't really need a case, whereas digital audio players that are designed to wear when working out usually come with straps or attachments.

(Disclaimer: we rely on a screenless Shuffle, which has its own obvious drawbacks, and our Nokia phone, which would be perfect if not for the battery drain.)

"Don't want an iPod? Lots of choices available" [Reuters]
(Photo: Getty)

The big benefit of the new Amazon offering is by now pretty well known: Amazon isn't putting any copy protection on the tracks they sell (in other words, they're "DRM-free"), so you can play the mp3 files on as many devices as you like, and not just on iPods (or Zunes, or Sansas, etc.). They're also using a different pricing structure that's closer to what the labels have been fighting for: less than a dollar for many older or less popular tracks, and more than a dollar for some new hits. This means some albums are $8 or less, while some new ones are closer to CD prices.

TidBITS had some small problems with the Amazon MP3 downloader, but nothing so bad that it would break the service for you. But, as they put it, "it's not as though Amazon can ever get as close to the iPod as Apple can" in terms of making it easy to buy and sync songs."

One thing the review doesn't cover is the limited song selection at Amazon—they have around 2 million, compared to Apple's. But these two reviews both go into more detail about the pros and cons of the new service. Overall, it definitely seems worth checking out before you make your next iTunes purchase.

"Amazon MP3 Takes on the iTunes Store" [TidBITS]

RELATED
"Amazon MP3 vs. Apple iTunes: Where Should You Shop?"
"Amazon MP3: a quick review"

Privately most labels rejected the idea out of hand, but EMI, the world's third-largest music company by sales, was already quietly exploring the idea of dropping DRM. EMI has struggled to overcome poor results and a laggard digital strategy, potentially contributing to its willingness to take a bold stance on DRM.

EMI to Sell Much of its Music Without Antipiracy Software [WSJ] (Subscription req'd)
PREVIOUSLY: EMI May Unshackle Catalogue, Usher In Second Dawn Of DRM-Free Music

Reports of the EMI plan surfaced in Europe this week when music executive speculated that EMI was close to a deal with several online music services that went beyond the relatively limited experiments with non-copy-protected music that it had conducted so far.

We can't wait to once again legally download music without DRM. The sooner we can get all White and Nerdy without a password, subscription, or optical scan, the better. — CAREY GREENBERG-BERGER

EMI May Sell Recordings Online With No Anti-Copying Software [NYT]

Record Labels Contemplate Unrestricted Digital Music [NYT via BoingBoing]

On Device Kickbacks to Music Companies:

"These devices are just repositories for stolen music, and they all know it," said Doug Morris, CEO of Universal Music Group. "So it's time to get paid for it."

Well, Morris is just a big, clueless idiot, of course. Do you honestly want morons like him to have power over your music player? Then go ahead and buy a Zune. You'll find that the Zune Planet orbits the music industry's Bizarro World, where users aren't allowed to do anything that isn't in the industry's direct interests."

On Moral Issues:

"Throw in the Zune's tail-wagging relationship with music publishers, and it almost becomes important that you encourage people not to buy one."

More inside.

On Compatibility:

"Zune is incompatible with Windows Media Player, the familiar hub of the Windows desktop media experience.
The Zune app doesn't even have as many features as WMP. And why (for the love of God) doesn't it support podcasts? That's pure insanity."

Sun-Times Prediction:

"Result: The Zune will be dead and gone within six months. Good riddance"

Ok, so the Zune is probably not a good buy. Beware, yadda, yadda. First generation devices are a bad buy, regardless. So why are we writing about it? Obviously, we just wanted to run this picture again. Zune, so frustrating, you'll put your eye out. —MEGHANN MARCO (Thanks, jp!)

Avoid the loony Zune [Sun-Times via BoingBoing]

"Ralph Lindsey, the owner of a second-generation iPod who was browsing the Zune display, said he was not planning on making a purchase, but liked the Zune's wider screen. Since he would want to watch videos on the player, however, he was "concerned" about the Zune's available storage space. "I'm not sure 30 gigabytes will be enough," he said."

We personally still have an ancient-ass 10GB iPod, and are potentially in the market for a spiffy new device, but are also not impressed by the Zune. Except for the brown one. The brown one is cool. Damned if it doesn't make us want a brown iPod.—MEGHANN MARCO

Zune moving at slow tempo [ZDNet]

Well, no, it doesn't. But then again, neither do Creative MP3 players more. Creative has just released a firmware update for it's Zen MicroPhoto and Zen Visin:M players, which disables the box-advertised feature of recording FM radio to your hard drive.

Isn't it nice now that EULAs allow companies to revoke your rights for their own convenience at any time?

Creative Strips FM from Zen Vision [Gizmodo]

If it's American, if it's an egregious affront to the average consumer... hell, we'll post it! But that is not to say that we don't shower our love upon our readers from further-off climes. Heck, I'm a swarthily tanned, nut-brown native of a far off clime myself... Ireland!

So this just in, for our readers from the Rising Sun, or merely our readers from the You! Ess! Ay! McDonald's — that most American of companies — recently had a contest in Japan, giving away free MP3 players. Sounds swell.

The problem? They're all infected with spyware. They are loaded with the QQpass, a dose of dangerous malware that transmits your username, passwords and other information.

McDonald's seems appropriately embarrassed and has set up a 24 hour helpline for people who just bricked their computer and sent all their details to hackers through spyware. But, you know, a little bit too little, a little bit too late.

McDonalds gives MP3 players infected with spyware as prizes [Newlaunches]

Companies like Audible, that excellent online books-on-mp3 retailer. We got a great email from BG, who was a big Audible fan, and after Audible's most recent fuck-up, an even bigger one.

Not only does Audible follow-up the resolutions of its customers, but when it fucks up, it profusely apologizes and happily gives its subscribers oodles of free content. Way to be human, Audible. BG's email, after the jump.

I'm an avid iPodder with a predilection for talk radio and audiobooks, and was thrilled to have Audible.com recommended to me a couple years ago. Their introductory membership put a couple free books in my hands, and I've since spent a nice chunk of cash there buying books and re-upping my yearly subscription to "This American Life." In addition to the books and radio shows ("The Splendid Table" = overrated, "Fresh Air" = fawning yet periodically terrific), I've also had a couple of good experiences with their customer service line. In one instance, I was chasing a promotion for which I hadn't received my bonus (iTunes gift cert), and a quick and helpful call with a tech was chased by another call from the Service Manager making sure I was satisfied with the resolution.

Nice to see that they're not just clearing tickets and moving on at the Help Desk.

Anyway, my "TAL" episodes are delivered to my online queue at Audible every week, and I'm notified via email that the new one has arrived. Today I open my inbox and find nearly 200 emails notifying me that different episodes are in my library. Sure enough, I get in there and see almost four full years of "TAL" episodes to iTunes. Naturally, I pull them all down and promise to donate $5 to the local NPR next time they're running a pledge drive.

I called Audible, and got through to a rep within 30 seconds. They acknowledged the issue, said it was due to a tech "dropping those episodes into the wrong folder," promised I wouldn't be charged, and profusely apologized for the inconvenience. I told him that if they keep screwing up like this, they're going to have me around for a long time.

So, I got something for nothing, an acknowledgement from a company that they had screwed up, and an apology to boot.
Plus, I didn't have to wade through a phone queue, sit on hold for half an hour, or talk to someone pounding Red Bull trying to stay awake on the graveyard shift from Hyderabad.

In short, every time I deal with these people I come away feeling awfully good about being a customer of theirs.

Thanks, and try "Kitchen Confidential" read by the author. Very entertaining.

Cory Doctorow over at Boing Boing expertly skewers them:

The RIAA's approach to PR is much like their approach to culture in general: read-only. The RIAA issues statements like the Pope emitting a bull, and we mortals may squabble over its meaning among ourselves, but they are not available to participate in any further discussion. This is reminiscent of the RIAA's approach to things like YouTube lipsynch videos: "our songs are released to be listened to and nothing more; should you dare to make them part of your life, we will use the copyright law we bought to break you."

What a collection of assholes. Luckily, they couldn't be doing a worse job promoting DRM: their extortionist tactics couldn't be doing a better job of driving people away from purchasing from them. It's all going to come around.

RIAA's "abundance of sensitivity" ends harassment of grieving family [Boing Boing]

In Michigan, in Warner Bros. v. Scantlebury, after learning that the defendant had passed away, the RIAA made a motion to stay the case for 60 days in order to allow the family time to "grieve", after which time they want to start taking depositions of the late Mr. Scantlebury's children.

We're sure the RIAA will be kind enough to offer a settlement to Mr. Scantlebury's fatherless children. After all, they wouldn't want to seem inhuman.

RIAA Wants to Depose Dead Defendant's Children; But Will Allow them 60 Days to "Grieve" [Recording Industry Vs. People] (via Boing Boing)

Download MP3 here.

A description really won't do this call justice. So just listen as, over eight minutes, an insane cat lady calls a telemarketer a terrorist, a rapist, an Iraqi insurgent, a murderer, a serial killer, a criminal, a sexual abuser, a hater, hurter and life deserter. And that's just twenty seconds of the phone call. She also claims to have had an appendix rupture due to telemarketing calls and that she can produce an incriminating list of hundreds of people who have been murdered by telemarketers. That's another ten seconds.

And it goes on and on and on, interrupted only occasionally by Alex's calm, hilarious responses and a sound from the woman's throat sounding very much like the regurgitation of her entire esophagus.

Through it all, Alex is unflappable. Scummy profession aside, he's our new hero: smooth as silk, sarcastic yet polite. We love his understated response to being accused of being a serial rapist: "Wow! That's a pretty harsh accusation!" The woman uses this as a segue to tell him about a friend who was gang raped by telemarketers; Alex doesn't even blink. What's cooler than being cool? Ice cold!

There's a strange logic about the entire recording that becomes clear after the second or third listen. We recommend listening to it again and again. This is the second best thing we've ever posted. Thanks, Nick!

Crazy Telemarketer Call [YTMND]

An Oklahoma mother, Debbie Foster, was sued by the RIAA in 2004 for illegally downloading music. - "Lonely Room" -

The RIAA claimed that her internet account was used to share files - "Kansas City" - and offered to settle for $5,000. - "I Cain't Say No" -

Braver of bears and tornadoes, Mrs. Foster decided to take her chances in court and 'rassle the RIAA like a rattlesnake in a coal mine. -"People Will Say We're In Love" - She asked for the RIAA to provide the specific dates and files that were downloaded, - "Pore Jud is Daid" - and when they failed to do so, filed a motion for a summary judgment. - "Laurey Makes Up Her Mind"-

- "All Er Nuthin'" -The RIAA cut and run, - "The Surrey With the Fringe On Top" -and the judge awarded Debbie attorney fees this July.

"Oh What a Beautiful Mornin'

"RIAA Loses in File Sharing Case" [ArsTecnica]

Listening to Metallica while listening to his iPod, Jason Bunch was struck by lightning. The bolt of Zeus' fire then conducted up the iPod earbuds and caused his sideburns to catch fire. His melted sneakers were found twenty feet away by concerned neighbors.

Jason and his mother believe that the iPod is some sort of magical lightning capturing device, drawing jagged streaks of electrical energy down from the heavens.

Unfortunately, that's not actually the way science works, but personally, we prefer to believe that the iPod is a sort of Beebelbroxian infinite implausibility generator, capable of spontaneously generating implausible cataclysms depending on the track playing. Jason was struck by lightning while listening to 'Ride the Lightning'... if he'd been listening to 'For Whom the Bell Tolls', perhaps a wormhole would have opened above his head and dropped the Liberty Bell on him.

Lightning zeros in on teenager's tunes [Denver Post] (via The Giz!)

If so, as you know, the RIAA is looking to sue you. However, we saw over at Boing Boing this handy service being offered by a Swedish company willing to insure anyone against RIAA lawsuits for a low, low $19 a year.

As Cory Doctorow points out, this just might be legit: despite the best efforts of their crackerjack legal team, the RIAA is only managing to sue a mere thimbleful of the rolling ocean of innocent Internet users out there. Playing the odds, this is a possibly successful insurance model. Will a similar scheme be offered by American insurance agents soon?

P2P insurer will pay your fines if RIAA sues: $19/year! [Boing Boing]

In Dario Argento's horror masterpiece, Opera, a young woman is pursued by a sadistic serial killer, kidnapped, has her eyelids propped open by sharp needles and is forced to watch her friends being murdered.

And now, the corporate audio analogy, courtesy of Intel China. Sometimes you realize with a sick lurch of existential horror that there's no way to stop hearing.

Listen to: Intel Cares Corporate Song

It took me a couple minutes to realize this guy was actually singing in English. This is supposedly broadcast over speakers in the morning to motivate employees. To motivate what besides the plunging of phillips head screwdrivers into the employee's ear canals, we're not quite sure.

The Intel Song [Tian.cc] (via Boing Boing)
Related: Target Motivational Song Brainwashes Employees Into Having Fun

PR is great, in 1929 Edward Bernays got people to associate smoking with women's rights by having debutantes defiantly smoking cigarettes, scandalous at the time. Considering that half the statement is boiler plat anyway, who's to say the rest of the chum spun by the AOL PR sluts isn't? Goddamit, we demand pictures, preferably in gold frame like al-Zarqawi's.

If anything, given his stellar dedication to ekking out the last dime possible, he was probably given a raise.

Previously:
• Some Skeptical Musings on the AOL CSR Statement
• AOL Fires Infamous CSR
• The Best Thing We Have Ever Posted: Reader Tries To Cancel AOL

comment on this post

How can this possibly be true? We've heard more than once that AOL employees are told to keep canceling customers on the phone for a full eight minutes... a number which most people believe given personal experience. AOL bleeds a couple million subscribers every year. They desperately need to keep everyone they can on board while they figure out how to evolve their business model, which has grown increasingly obsolete over the years. Even Time Warner — the same company that once tried to get all its executives to switch over to AOL usage exclusively — hates AOL.

We actually feel a bit bad for John. He was an asshole, but we're absolutely positive that he was just doing exactly what he'd been told to do, and was fired for it. AOL shouldn't be so easily allowed to weasel their way out of responsibility — if their statement on the incident is true and this was simply a fluke incident with one employee going rogue, why is that statement so contradictory to the experience most people have dealing with AOL?

Previously: AOL Fires Infamous CSR
Also: The Best Thing We Have Ever Posted: Reader Tries To Cancel AOL

comment on this post

AOL PR issued a statement:

"At AOL, we have zero-tolerance for customer care incidents like this - which is deeply regrettable and also absolutely inexcusable. The employee in question violated our customer service guidelines and practices, and everything that AOL believes to be important in customer care - chief among them being respect for the member, and swiftly honoring their requests. This matter was dealt with immediately and appropriately, and the employee cited here is no longer with the Company."

Too bad AOL still sucks!

Here's the recording, in case you were asleep or don't read BoingBoing, Digg, Metafilter, Anandtech, or Fark. Some observers wondered how the story got posted to so many big sites, so fast. The answer is very simple: Vincent promoted it to all of them. For a while, until Putfile bailed him out, his site was down, having used up all its bandwidth. Internet, for the win.

There's also an interview with Vincent. [Netscape News] (Thanks to Gari N. Corp!)

comment on this post

So here's the summary: "Cancel the account. Cancel the account. Cancel the account. CANCEL THE ACCOUNT. CANCEL THE ACCOUNT. CANCEL THE ACCOUNT. FOR GOD'S SAKE JUST CANCEL THE FUCKING ACCOUNT." After every period, insert a few minutes of AOL CSR John trying to 'help' Vincent somehow figure out a way to keep on paying... generally through the ingratiating method of straight out calling him a liar.

We'll say it again: this is the best thing we have ever posted. If you have anything even remotely this good, mail us. As site creator Joel Johnson just said over AIM, "Fuck. We need more of that on Consumerist."

comment on this post

Canceling AOL [Insignificant Thoughts]

UPDATE: Original story has been dugg-smashed. Here's a mirror.

[via Gizmodo]

Creative is now claiming that the iPod breaches a patent on the always-inferior Zen. The patent, dated August 9, 2005 (note to the astute: a patent filed four years after the iPod revolutionized mp3 players), is "for [Creative's] invention of the user interface used by most portable digital-media players."

In other words, Creative is claiming to own menus. They are asking the ITC to halt all sales on iPod products until the case shakes out. Yeah, we're sure that's going to happen.

Creative sues Apple over patents [Market Watch]

But get this. When Cassi mentions she can't afford $3750, being an MIT student already up to her eyeballs in a lifetime's worth of debt, the RIAA helpfully countered: So? Drop out of school so you can afford it.

We have no idea if Cassi's guilty or not. Hell, she probably is — she's a college student, after all. But leaving aside the martian moon man fallacy the RIAA always bases their extortionism upon — namely, that copyright infringement equals theft, and that downloaded mp3s equals lost money at the street rate of the price of the album, neither of which is true — the RIAA is suggesting that a fair punishment for a purloined Evanescence album is only to give up your dreams, aspirations, career and future. Or as Cassi put it:

The Recording Industry of America would rather see America's youth deprived of higher education, forever marring their ability to contribute personally and financially to society — including the arts — so that they may crucify us as examples to our peers. To say nothing of wrecking our lives in the process. I finally understand what the RIAA meant when they told me "stealing music is not a victimless crime" — the victims hang for all to see.

Run Over by the RIAA, Don't Tap the Glass [The Tech]

• Free download of "You Have Killed Me" by Morrissey. One for the black iPod.

• Proteon Protein Bar Sample. Contains 100% Soylent Green.

• Free sample of Organic Planet Coffee or Tea. Requires Internet Explorer. Unfortunately, that's not a joke.

• Free Fragrance Sample of Mary-Kate & Ashley's "Coast to Coast." Smells like teen spirit, in new, barely legal bottle.

CNet has looked at numerous mp3 players, including the iPod, the Zen Vision and Sony's new Sony Walkmans, first establishing their peak battery life when playing unprotected MP3s and then comparing them to battery life when playing nothing but DRM-protected formats like AAC or WMA. The results are extremely discouraging: for example, on the Creative Zen Vision, you lose 25% of your battery life when playing WMAs over unprotected MP3s... and that's without putting the backlight on.

Granted, there's a lot of other things that will drain your mp3 player faster: playing higher bitrate files, using the backlight, watching videos or even using more powerful headphones. That extra processing power and therefore more juice are required to decode protected files isn't terribly surprising. Still, it's another bullet point on why the industry's push towards DRM sucks for consumers.

MP3 Insider: The truth about your battery life [CNet]

This has made syncing our Dell DJ with our iTunes collection a bit of a bitch. So we were pleased to find Lifehacker's luscious apparati reporting on iTunesAgent, a system-tray syncer between iTunes and whatever crappy iPod "killer" you got suckered into buying.

We post this because we just know that some of our savvy Consumerist readers have had philosophical objections to Apple's DRM policies, decided to take a stand, bought a Zen Nomad and have been sliding down the slippery slope right into iTunes' Sarlaac-like maw ever since.

Link: iTunes Agent