The Consumerist doesn’t write itself. Booze does. And when booze fails, under the murderous unblinking gaze of grim sobriety, reader tips takes the yokes off of our trembling shoulders and helps pull the site along.
After a record week for readers’ emails, last week was a bit slower, with about half of the previous weeks’ 27 emails. I guess we’re bleeding you guys dry. Perhaps you don’t have what it takes to be a disgruntled consumer? We’re throwing down the gauntlet: can’t you guys find something to complain about?
Last week was a big week for reader tips: we posted over 27 of the damn things. God bless you, our gentle readers, for the hundreds of dollars worth of posts we were paid for yet didn’t have to compose. We will think fondly of you when mopping up the tamali and caviar spilling forth from the innards of our champagne-boiled lobsters.
Trans-Atlantic candy gram from Mr. John Brownlee, Esq. to Lord Ben Popken, Editor. Remember the readers tag? Stop. You still need to remember to fucking use it. Exclamation point. End communication. Pay the boy, it’s COA.
Here at the Consumerist, we like saying this is your site a lot — the ballooing war cry that tickles an avalanche of tips and complaints from the glaciers of your consumer dissatisfaction. Not only does it allow us to get paid for your hard work, but it also happens to be a good example of feel good wankery that’s actually true. A lot of times, we think of ourselves less as editors as moderators of a consumer awareness forum where customers (pleased, homicidal or indifferent) can share their experiences with one another. And we’re always pleased when we can actually help you get satisfaction, either by putting our paws into the mess ourselves or by giving your issue a wider audience of expertise.