Creepy!

Dunkin' Donuts is also tailoring the cash register ads to your specific purchase. If you buy a breakfast sandwich, you can expect an ad prompting you to return "for a coffee break in the afternoon" to "try an oven-toasted pizza." The system is already in place at two Buffalo, NY locations.

More creepiness from the WSJ:

In a separate test, Procter & Gamble is placing radio-frequency identification tags on products at a Metro Extra retail store in Germany so that when a customer pulls the product off the shelf, a digital screen at eye level changes its message. When a consumer picks out a shampoo for a particular type of hair, for instance, the screen recommends the most appropriate conditioner or other hair products, says John Paulson, president of G2 Interactive, a digital-marketing arm of WPP Group's G2 Network.

This comes as advertisers are spending more of their ad dollars on in-store marketing. Audience fragmentation and the waning power of television ads are forcing marketers to make their pitches and tout their brands when and where consumers are closer to making a purchase: in the store.

The WSJ says that the companies experimenting with this kind of technology "hope to ward off any potential privacy issues by not capturing and storing any personally identifiable information about consumers." What do you think? Is this an invasion of your privacy? Or would you rather see more relevant ads?

The Ad Changes With the Shopper In Front of It [WSJ]
(Photo: stirwise )

Of course, there are still exceptions.

Health care-related calls subject to the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 are still allowed, as are charitable fundraising robocalls made to members of the nonprofit charitable organization for which the call is placed, or to people who previously donated to it. The fundraising calls must still include an automated opt-out, however.

The strict limits won't stop robocalls from political campaigns, either."Political calls are not placed for the purpose of inducing purchases of goods or services, and therefore are not 'telemarketing' within the meaning of the TSR," the FTC notes in a footnote of the amendment.

If you feel plagued by telemarketers, try the tips in our past posts for getting them to stop calling your, or for dealing with them effectively when they keep doing it.

"FTC all but bans robocalls" [CNET] (Thanks to Jason!)

...there is no way to describe these lists except as ones that are trying very hard to look official. They have a fax send line at the top of the page (who on earth faxed these, if not the schools?). They not only state the school, but also the grade level and they have various lists based on teacher. Each teacher has slightly different supplies required. If that doesn’t look like something official from the school, I’m not sure what would. Perhaps adding a medieval wax seal to each list?

Kelby was told by her daughter's school that Walmart just makes up the lists on its own. That's twisted.

Is this one rogue Walmart or some kind of systematic evil?

Truth About Wal-Mart Back to School Lists [Kelby Carr via BoingBoing]
(Photo: cupcake revolution )

Check out the full set here (caption has a bad word).
Have you seen some Christmas Creep? Tell us about it at tips@consumerist.com.

From Coinstar's website:

Think of it as a new form of recycling—when you reuse your change instead of letting it sit idle in your coin jar, fewer coins are produced. And that translates into environmental savings by reducing hte need for limited natural resources used to create new coin.

We're deeply skeptical of any one-to-one benefit statement like this, not least because it ignores the total cost of running the Coinstar company, which is a key component of any coin recycling "movement."

If you're going to cash in your spare change, look for a Commerce Bank branch nearby first. Their change machines are free and you don't have to be a Commerce customer to use them.

Here's the apology email sent to "valued Pizza Hut customers:"

From: Pizza Hut
Sent: Friday, August 15, 2008 2:05 PM
To: The Internet
Subject: We apologize for the errant email

Dear Valued Pizza Hut Customer:

You may have received an email on Wednesday that appeared to be from Pizza Hut with the subject line "Sports - 2 Medium pizzas, 1 one-topping and 1 specialty or up to 3 toppings". We were testing new functionality that will better serve our customers. It was not the intent of Pizza Hut for this email to be sent to you. We apologize for any inconvenience or confusion this may have caused. We value your relationship with us and understand that communicating with you via email is a privilege not to be taken lightly. We have identified the cause of the mistake and have taken steps to make sure this does not happen again.

Again, we apologize for any inconvenience or confusion that email message may have caused. We appreciate you as a customer and want you to be 100% satisfied with us.

Pizza Hut and YUM! Brands are committed to your privacy and the privacy of your data. As such, we recently updated our privacy policy. View our Privacy Policy here.

The Pizza Hut name, logos and related marks are trademarks of Pizza Hut, Inc.

(C)2008 Pizza Hut, Inc., 14841 Dallas Parkway, Dallas, TX 75254.

Oh, they're striving for 100% satisfaction, eh? Here's an idea: don't force your customers to sign up for unsolicited emails!

(Photo: Scott Ableman) (Thanks to everyone who sent this in!)
PREVIOUSLY: Pizza Hut Forces You To Opt-In To Spam Marketing When Ordering Online

... the show starts it’s run on November 7th! I’m still too high on Halloween candy on Nov 7th to start thinking about Xmas (Full disclosure: I’m Jewish, so I really couldn’t give a crap about Xmas anyway, but you get my point).

We get your point loud and clear, Scott.

Have you seen some Christmas Creep? Tell us about it at tips@consumerist.com.

Got this in the mail yesterday, and the terms really caught my eye!

Oh, Sears. You're so funny.

Remember to sign up with the National Do Not Call Registry if you haven't already. They'll block up to three phone numbers for you, including cellular numbers. But don't expect the Do Not Call registry to catch all telephone spam:

Because of limitations in the jurisdiction of the FTC and FCC, calls from or on behalf of political organizations, charities, and telephone surveyors would still be permitted, as would calls from companies with which you have an existing business relationship, or those to whom you’ve provided express agreement in writing to receive their calls.

You should also be aware that there are two easy ways for companies to get around the registry:

• If you buy something from a company, they can contact you for 18 months after the transaction unless you explicitly tell them not to—and if you tell them not to, they have to comply or face a fine of up to $11,000.
• If you simply make an inquiry or submit an application to a company, they can contact you for 3 months after the initial contact (again, unless you explicitly tell them not to).

So what happens if you've told a company not to call and they do anyway? If you've been on the Do Not Call registry for at least 31 days, visit their website to file a complaint. If you're not in the registry but you asked the company not to call you and they did anyway, check out the FTC Complaint Assistant, which will ask you a series of questions and eventually help you submit a telemarketing-related complaint.

"When AT&T won't stop calling" [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]
(Photo: Getty)

JetBlue to Start Charging for Pillows [NYT] (Photo: Lil Erna)

Here are several representative snippets:

"I have two preschoolers (ages 2 and 4) and this pool is just the right size for them."

"It is the worst product I'd ever bought from Toys R US and I'll never go to Six Flags! Don't buy it."

"One person can't slide down the slide while one person is in the pool let alone have 2 people sitting in it! The slide is so small and when you turn on the hose to let the sprinklers come down the orange top collapses and has no use!"

"As every one else has said this pool is tiny maybe good for 1 or 2 toddlers. Picture on the front is NOT accurate. A 6 year old can't go down the slide with his legs out because they hit the wall. My 3 year old hardly fit. Buy a sprinkler for $5.00 my kids had more fun with that."

The box admonishes buyers "product may not be as appears on image;" a gross understatement for a gross distortion.

SPIN SPIN SPIN [Popper Font] (Thanks to Paul!)
Banzai Complete Water Park [Amazon]
(Photo: davehwng)

Verizon tells us:

"Verizon is aware of this incident involving one of its vendors. We have zero tolerance for violations of the law and hold our vendor responsible for the actions of its employees. Out of respect and concern for our customers, Verizon has suspended D2D in DE until further investigation is complete."

(Photo: Jay Adan )

ajlei says:

I had a billing issue with Earthlink DSL: they were charging me a $2.95/month fee (pittance, but it's really the principle of the matter) for something called 'PCC Pro' which seems to be some antivirus/spyware etc. program which I never opted for upon signing up.

For what it's worth, when signing up, as any good Consumerist would, I asked what, if any extra charges, extra packages, extra anything would be cropping up, and I was told 'none'. However, the page for the PCC Pro says it's a free 30 day trial, $2.95/month after that, so maybe it's added automatically upon signing up, but I told the rep when signing up that I didn't want anything extra (and believe me, he asked if I wanted just about every extra they have to offer).

Anyway, I called about canceling the PCC Pro in June and they said they would remedy the situation. However, my July bill reflected the same issue so I decided to try their live chat to solve the problem. 'Krystal Z' seemed capable of helping me with my billing issue. She told me she'd be issuing me a credit for the last two months (more than fair) and just as I was about to close the window, she started to ask about my computer problems:

Krystal Z: Does your computer ever run slowly when you have a couple of programs running?
ajlei: Nope, my computer works fine
Krystal Z: Okay.
Krystal Z: As you might be aware that Security threat is increasing day by day for all the Internet users. So, a security program is advisable to have on your computer. We have a very good service called Norton 360 which has the Anti Virus, Firewall and tools to improve the computer performance and speed up the computer.
Krystal Z: This service will make sure that the computer is free from viruses, spyware, spam, registry errors cookies, etc.
Krystal Z: Norton security provides advanced protection for everything you care about on your PC. All-in-One Security features includes: 1. PC Security & PC Tune-Up 2. Advanced Phishing and Spyware Protection 3. Blocks Hackers and Unknown Threats 4. Online Identity Protection 5. Automated Backup and Restore * If you subscribed to all of these sites individually, you would pay more than $12 per month, but with EarthLink’s Norton 360 Online Bundle, we offer all of these for just $6.95 a month. * We are currently offering a free 30 day trial of this package, which will continue at a low monthly rate of $6.95 with no commitment!
ajlei: Thanks, but I already have virus protection on my computer
Krystal Z: We are currently offering a free 30 day trial of this package, which will continue at a low monthly rate of $6.95 with no commitment! (It should be noted that this second mention of their security package was bolded in the chat, as if to intimidate me into signing up for something more expensive than the similar service that she just un-signed me up for.)
ajlei: No thank you
Krystal Z: Okay. Not a problem.

At this point, I thought she was done. But, she kept going:

Krystal Z: How many computers do you have?
ajlei: um.. why?
Krystal Z: If you have more than one computer in your home, EarthLink’s Home Networking service lets you have all your computers linked to your high speed connection wirelessly, allowing them all to be online at the same time.
ajlei: Yep, I have all of my computers hooked up already.
Krystal Z: Okay.
Krystal Z: Is there anything else I can help you with?
ajlei: That's all, thanks
Krystal Z: Okay.
Krystal Z: Take Care!
Krystal Z: Bye!

I know everything came out fine in the end (well, I'll wait til next month's bill before I swear on it) but it just amused me how after I deactivated the virus protection, she tried to get me to sign up for a more expensive alternative, and then started asking about things unrelated to billing. The wireless question was one I was asked at initial sign-up, at which point I assured the rep that I was fully capable of setting up wireless in my household, no I did not need a wireless router, or wireless cards for my computer, or a tech to come install it.

Earthlink is great price-wise, and my only other option is Comcast, so I'm fine with them, but they might want to take some Give It a Rest 101.

Thanks for listening!
Ashley

Last night during a leisurely stroll through the mall, I happened to snap a shot of the Christmas Creep in a storefront window. And it's only July! The picture is pretty crappy — I took it with my Blackberry, but I thought I would share it anyway. You know, there's only 148 days until Christmas!

Nooooooooo. Christmas Creep in July? We realize they're probably trying to be funny, but for some reason we still find it depressing.

I got this flyer this morning via email less than 24 hours after our "massive" Earthquake out here in Los Angeles. Between the local news media being a bit reactionary by preparing us for doomsday and this, It's time to move back east to Chicago and more solid but a bit colder ground.

Quick thinking, BB&B... you have to strike while the ground is still shakin'.

From the News-Journal:

On Monday, residents in the North Graylyn Crest neighborhood told police they saw a man hiding behind a vehicle who appeared to be masturbating while watching a woman work in her garden, said New Castle County police spokesman Cpl. Trinidad Navarro.

The man was described as wearing a Verizon T-shirt.

Police searched the area but couldn't find the man.

Police spoke to the woman the man had been watching, and she said she didn't know the man was watching her, but that a man had been to her house earlier and had attempted to sell her Verizon services.

Police spoke to Verizon officials, who said the company outsources solicitation campaigns to marketing companies, and that several representatives of such a company had been sent to the area.

On Tuesday, police received a report of a suspicious man who was walking along Grubb Road soliciting for Verizon, Navarro said.

When an officer confronted the man near a convenience store on Foulk Road, the man ran off through the backyard of a nearby home, Navarro said.

The door-to-door salesman is being held at a correctional institution in lieu of $20,500 bail.

Door-to-door salesman charged with lewdness [News Journal](Thanks, Jeff!)
(Photo: New Castle County police)

UPDATE: Verizon has suspended D2D sales in Delaware while they investigate this incident.

Here's the line of blame as tracked down by WBAL:

1. Maryland State Fairgrounds said they only rented the space.
2. Contest sponsor Recreations Unlimited said they were unaware the payment hadn't been made; a spokesman for the company said it "was out of his hands."
3. The company that brought the golf simulator to the state, World Golf Center of Orlando, Florida, "claimed it is having difficulty getting the insurance company that backed the contest to make the payment" even though all requirements have been met.
4. Kevin Kolenda, CEO of the insurance company called both HoleInOne.com and Golf Marketing Worldwide, says not all requirements have been met.

WBAL writes that they "discovered Kalenda and the company haven't always paid as promised. Massachusetts, North Carolina, Oregon and other states issued cease and desist orders, claiming they were not licensed to sell insurance in those states." That got us curious about Kalenda and his company, so we did a quick search on Google to see what we could dig up. This 2002 article from a Connecticut business journal shows that Golf Marketing Worldwide has done this before:

Both the [Connecticut] Insurance Department and the state attorney general received complaints in 1995 that accused Golf Marketing of not paying when contestants sunk their shots.

...

In May 2000, Woody Harford sunk a 100-foot putt in New York City's Central Park for $1 million at the launch party for the now defunct Maximum Golf magazine.

Golf Marketing disputes the logistics of the shot, and did not pay Harford his prize.

"Man Wins $25K Contest; Insurance Doesn't Pay" [WBAL Baltimore] (Thanks to Stanton!)

RELATED
"Golf insurer happy with 'minimal' fine" [AllBusiness]

Now Sara Lee has settled with the CSPI and will amend their marketing materials. The package will now disclose that the bread is only 30% whole grain, and will no longer claim that the amount of fiber in the product "equals [the same amount of fiber of] 100% whole wheat."

“Consumers who want the health benefits of whole grains should look for bread that is labeled ‘100 percent whole wheat,’ or failing that, a bread where whole wheat flour, not just ‘wheat flour,’ is the first ingredient,” said CSPI executive director Michael F. Jacobson.

Sara Lee to Make Clear its “Made with Whole Grain White Bread” is 30 Percent Whole Grain [CSPI]

PREVIOUSLY: Sara Lee "Soft & Smooth Made with Whole Grain White Bread" Has More Water Than Whole Grain

Meg writes:

Bought new hairspray the other day, and didn't notice until i got home that the new one had 15% less product in it for the same price. Bought this at ShopRite in NJ.

To keeping the public informed!

Notice how the tasty kangaroo was replaced by an eery "No Worries Guarantee."

Careful mates, the Grocery Shrink Ray silently lurks everywhere; but from the looks of our ongoing poll, that's how you like it, anyway. If you see a shrunken product, break out your camera and send your sighting to the tipline.

1. Shop With A Timer: Avoid wasteful and expensive browsing by marching into stores with firm deadlines. Looking for a single item? Remind yourself it's time to leave by setting your cellphone to ring after five minutes.

2. Reward Your Effort: Need a little extra motivation to research that insurance you should have bought months ago? "Just like diet and exercise, slogging through the details of dreaded, uninteresting purchase decisions is hard work and requires some investment of time and energy. Set up the amount of time as well as the actual time, such as 2:30-3:00 p.m. on Sunday, that you will solely use to focus on evaluating the purchase details. Note this in your calendar along with a "treat" for sticking to the details and honoring your time commitment. Knowing that you have a reward for a job "well done" (or at least, "done") will help motivate you through the nitty-gritty of this kind of shopping situation."

3. Enlist An Expert: Alpha Consumer recommends enlisting an expert before making a large purchase, paying for outside help if necessary. Most of the "expert advice" available for sale is already hiding on the internet. Don't open your wallet without first training to become an armchair expert.

3 Ways to Be a Smarter Shopper [Alpha Consumer]
(Photo: goodrob13)

Logan writes:

I bought some toothpaste last night as my wife an I had been surviving on tiny, dentist-issued travel tubes for the past couple weeks. We're lazy, so to save ourselves the trip after the next big tube was gone, I decided to buy a double pack of toothpaste. Thinking that the marginal savings of bundled toothpaste was the way to go, I grabbed a healthy sounding combo and was one may way. When I got home though, I was in for a big surprise. When I pulled the "Bonus" tube out of its box, it was actually in another, smaller box. Whaaaaat? Why the double boxing? Was it for packaging reasons? Or was it to hide the widespread reach and effectiveness of the the product shrink ray?

This isn't the feared Grocery Shrink Ray. This is deception, pure and simple. The weasels running Colgate's marketing team stuck to the law by printing the net weight on both boxes, but they clearly want consumers to assume that the boxes are the same size.

Way to waste an extra box, Colgate!

In general, says the study, Boomers are usually the "breadwinners in the household," and "make most or all of the family spending decisions."

The study tosses out the following labels, and we toss in our own thoughts about how this could influence advertising:

Promiscuous Purchasers

40-59 spend more than three times the amount of money per month on spouses ($514) than adults under 40 ($169). Additionally, they spend nearly twice as much per month on kids ($295 vs. $158) and three times the amount per month on teen children ($494 vs. $136). With so many purchase decisions to make for the household, these "Promiscuous Purchasers" are an important marketing sector even when they are not the prime target.

[Translation: Boomers are gatekeepers, so ads targeting youth need to also secretly target their parents, or train the primary target audience to advocate for the product in Boomer-friendly language.]

Free Agent Shoppers

40 and 50-somethings are more open to new brands and less brand loyal than people under 40. Twenty-six percent of Boomers said they are not at all brand loyal versus 21% of Gen X and Millennials. In fact, Gen Y are the most likely to say that once they have made a commitment to a brand, they will stick with it, no matter what. The willingness of 40 and 50 year-olds to buy new brands carries over across virtually every product category including electronics, personal care products, restaurants, automobiles and more. And when compared to the Generation who came before them these "Free Agent Shoppers" have very different spending habits. No longer will this age group buy the same products based on lifelong brand decisions and spend less as they age. This demo is redefining brand loyalty and determining purchase decisions based on the effectiveness of products. Today's 40 and 50-somethings stick with a product for as long as it's good and fulfills their complex needs. They are not afraid to change for something they feel will improve their lives.

[Translation: Boomers like to shop around, and they like to self-improve. Combine the two activities and you've got a compelling brand.]

Savvy Switchers

While Boomers are very open to new brands, they will not switch just because something is new. Ninety-one percent of people in their 40s and 50s want the brand to provide more value versus 83% of Gen X and Millennials. Boomers will consider new brands if that brand is a better alternative—the product or service must be more useful, functional and provide the most benefit/value. Unlike Millennials and Gen Xers they are less likely to be influenced by the notion that the brand is more prestigious or the latest style; instead, their purchase decisions are based on reliability and quality. The product/service needs to have the best features, not necessarily the most features.

[Translation: Ads that focus on movements, fashions, or trends don't work as well on Boomers—probably because they're not as relevant.]

The study also found that newborns, or "Generation Teat," will buy anything that's offered to them online, provided you place the cursor over the "buy it now" button and place the keyboard next to their feet. Now there's a demographic to go after.

"Breadwinning Boomers Responsible for Multi-Generational Brand Decisions, TV Land's 'Generation BUY' Study Finds"
(Photo: Getty)

Universal TechTronics calls the converter box the "Miracle ClearView TV," and promises "No Bills: New ClearView TV receives free channels, no need to pay for cable to get the new digital picture quality and sound." These guys really like the word "miracle."

"They’re really targeting the senior citizens who are going to be confused and not up-to-date on the technology,'' said Alison Preszler, a spokeswoman for the Council of Better Business Bureaus.

The ad is designed to look like a news article and features that smiling older gentleman displaying his actual warranty certificates. The Better Business Bureau has seen the ad appear in newspapers in Portland, Ore.; Memphis, Tenn.; Atlantic City, N.J.; Charlotte, N.C.; and the state of Ohio.

"Think twice before buying a digital TV converter box from this man" [Los Angeles Times] (Thanks to Paul!)
RELATED
"BBB warns of DTV converter-box scam" [Consumer Reports]
"A Sucker Is Converted Every Minute"
(Image: Los Angeles Times)

Jasper says:

I got a "Federally required affiliate marketing notice" from my Bank of America credit card. So I call the numbers and relatively quickly I get to talk to someone and I tell them to "limit my marketing offers" as much as possible.

Ok, blahblah, done deal. Wohoo, from Oct 2008 on, no more SPAM from BOA.

"Is there anything else I can do for you sir?"

"No".

And then she asks....

"Are you aware of our credit protection plans...." at which point I interrupt her and tell her "Ehm... I just asked you to limit the marketing offers....."

She goes "Ok sir, you're right. Have a nice day"

I feel so bad for these scripted readers. There is no logic in what they have to read....

We feel bad for them too. When they launch into their painful marketing messages at the end of a call we like to pretend there was some sort of emergency and quickly end the conversation.

"Oh, my god, I'm so sorry, my pop tarts are stuck in the toaster. Have a nice day!" Click.

Anyhow, if you'd like Bank of America to stop marketing to you, Dear Reader, you can go to https://www.bankofamerica.com/privacy or call them at 1.888.341.5000. You can opt out of phone, email, and direct mail marketing as well as information sharing.

(Photo: epicharmus )

Charter had planned to begin the program as early as this month in the test markets: Fort Worth; San Luis Obispo, Calif.; Oxford, Mass.; and Newtown, Conn.

Earlier Tuesday, Connecticut’s attorney general, Richard Blumenthal, released a letter calling on Charter to drop the plan. A Charter spokeswoman, Anita Lamont, said the decision to do so was unrelated to Mr. Blumenthal’s letter.

Update:On the New York Times' "Bits" blog, Charter admits they're not ending the program—just postponing it until the heat's off:

Anita Lamont, a spokeswoman for Charter, said the company wanted to take stock of “customer concerns about privacy.” Its executives, she said, were “just wanting to make sure everybody was comfortable.” Ms. Lamont said that Charter hopes to proceed with the system at some point in the future, but she wouldn’t say when.

“This is something we would move forward with when we think it’s time,” she said.

"Charter Won’t Track Customers’ Web Use" [New York Times]
"Charter Suspends Plan To Sell Customer Data to Advertisers" [Bits - New York Times]
(Photo: Getty)

"A condom in my beer" [HolyJuan]
(Photos: HolyJuan)

So the brand name is "Genuine Steakhouse," therefore they are Genuine Steakhouse Steaks. This does not mean anything. They are not "genuine" anything, nor are they coming from a "steakhouse," except for, I guess the slaughterhouse, which is a house where steaks come from. The next sentence, "100% freshness guaranteed or your money back" is also pretty lean on meaning. One would hope that spoiled, past-due meat would not be sold in the first place and I think it's safe to say that, should that meat accidentally get sold, it would certainly be accepted for a refund. Then again, I don't know much about Wal-Mart, so maybe they are always selling rotten meat and not giving you money back for it. Who's to say.

What they have cleverly done here is put a bunch of connotation-rich words near each other, in a construction that prevents the words from having any kind of actual meaning that might make it incumbent upon the company to provide anything even slightly out of the ordinary. Genuine Steakhouse...100% guaranteed...money back. A casual gloss could easily give you the false impression that they are somehow guaranteeing that this meat has a certain level of quality, or comes from a specific steakhouse, or something like that. In fact, they are just announcing the fact that they are putting a trademarked brand name on run-of-the-mill USDA-whatever meat, and then guaranteeing that they won't sell it once it putrefies.

Oh, Richie, this is what happens when you think about Wal-Mart too much. It's bad for your health. Speaking of bad for your health, if you click on over to the SteakHouse Steaks page at Walmart.com, you'll see that concerning the "100% guaranteed fresh" bit..."*Restrictions apply. Please see store for details."

Eek.

Meaningless, You Mean It's All Been Meaningless [I Feel Crazy]
Wal-Mart Steaks

Obviously, the real message got lost in “sales language” – the piece went way overboard, and I should not have allowed it. Therefore, it was my mistake, and I sincerely apologize.

We think this is excellent, except for one thing: he never addresses the "customer review" that came from his company's IP address. Hopefully, though, he's learned that it's risky to engage in bad behavior anonymously online (and since we don't know who left the comment, it's hard to blame Mike directly anyway).

Here's the full letter from Feazel Roofing:

Monday, June 16, 2008

To the administrator and readers of holyjuan.com and consumerist.com, and whomever else it concerns:

From our headquarters in Westerville, Feazel Roofing Company has been a leader in the roofing business in Greater Columbus for over 20 years. Great service to our clients has built this company, and keeping our entire team focused on that, everyday, will be one of the keys to our future growth and success.

Of course we provide full roof replacement services when necessary, but our company is very much focused on the service and maintenance of existing roof systems. We believe that this is a unique approach to this industry, because many contractors might try to recommend a more expensive roof replacement before it is necessary. However, we have found that with consistent maintenance and preventative care, a well-designed roof system can last much longer then expected.

In regards to the recent Blog post concerning the March 3rd direct mail marketing piece that you received, let me start by saying that I strongly agree with many of your opinions. I must admit, you’re not the only person which it upset, as I received a few other calls with the same concerns. The original marketing piece in question was designed by a 3rd party direct mail company. Fortunately, the letter was only sent as a test to a small group of individuals. While the language in this marketing piece was quite strong, the main message was supposed to be this, and these are quite verifiable facts: CertainTeed Corporation is the defendant in multiple class action lawsuits currently in process in 16 states (including Ohio), and further litigation pending in 8 other states and Canada. The lawsuits cover several different brand names of shingles manufactured since 1987, all of which have demonstrated premature curling, cracking, or de-granulation.

Here is a simple explanation of the CertainTeed Legal activity:

http://www.lawyersandsettlements.com/features/certainteed-shingles.html

I paid an ad agency to write the letter because I didn’t know the best way to go about educating homeowners on this issue. Obviously, the real message got lost in “sales language” – the piece went way overboard, and I should not have allowed it. Therefore, it was my mistake, and I sincerely apologize.

We do offer free preliminary estimates for all services that our company performs, including repair and replacement. However, we also charge a $179 fee for a full roof inspection. This is a more detailed and time-consuming written report, which may include pictures of any damages found, detailed measurements and multiple courses of action to remedy any concerns. We also offer this service to business partners in the Home Inspection and Real Estate industries. Our inspection pricing is very much in line with what other companies of our size charge for this service, but we always rebate the fee if any work is found during our inspection, which we do find some about half of the time.

We were offering a discounted fee of $49 for a limited time, thinking that we could perform numerous inspections in one area, saving on gas and drive time. This aspect was my idea, not the marketing company who wrote the letter.

Everything else you stated on your original Blog Post is accurate for 99% of the cases we come across with defective shingles. 100% of the CertainTeed Horizon shingles installed were defective, and are installed on thousands of homes in Central Ohio. If your shingles are defective, your home will not collapse overnight, and more often than not, water isn’t currently entering the home. However, we have had more than a handful of cases in which water has entered walls just a few years after installation, causing mold growth and other severe interior damage.

For anyone who would happen to read this who knows that they have a CertainTeed shingle installed on their home, I suggest contacting an attorney. The law firm’s website I’ve been referring homeowners to is www.halunenlaw.com but there are numerous others working on this case which can be found if you search “CertainTeed class action” in your favorite internet browser.

I would like to close by saying again that I apologize for allowing this type of “scare tactic marketing” to be sent from my company. However, I also want to state that we will continue to educate the marketplace on this issue. The shingle manufactures don’t send out a recall letter (like you might get from an auto manufacturer). Left unaddressed, problems may arise, and in some cases the problems can become catastrophic if not found in time.

Sincerely,
Mike Feazel, President
Feazel Roofing Company, Inc.

"Feazel Roofing takes the high road" [HolyJuan]

(Thanks to glugory!)

Lumber Liquidators [Official Site] (Thanks to Farhood!)

HolyJuan claims he sent a letter directly to the company when he first came across the junk mail, asking them to take specific steps to address the situation. Feazel Roofing never responded to him personally, which makes it clear that they faked the online response only as an act of public damage-control.

Oh, and then they insulted HolyJuan:

Feazel has been wonderful to work with and have saved me and my husband along with many others in the area a lot of money and headaches…so kudos to Feazel!

I assume most of you have nothing better to do than sit around blogging each other…very sad…wake up, get off the couch and do something constructive!

THANK YOU FEAZEL ROOFING!!

P.S. this letter and blog site will be forwarded to Mr. Feazel

"Feazel Roofing can kiss my asphalt" [HolyJuan]
"Crummy Roofing Company fakes customer comments to attack blogger" [HolyJuan]

"The name FedEx Office more accurately represents our broader role of providing superior information and services,'' Brian Philips, the unit's chief executive officer, said in the statement. "We are a back office for small businesses and a branch office for medium to large businesses and mobile professionals.''

FedEx to rename Kinko's [Bloomberg via Kottke]
(Photo: cmorran123 )

"Further extending our late-night hours allows us to meet strong consumer demand and deliver on the ‘Have It Your Way' brand promise," said Russ Klein, president-global strategy, marketing and innovation at Burger King, Miami, in a statement.

To promote the new closing time, the fast-food chain will launch a TV spot, directed by Spike Lee. It will feature entertainment mogul Sean "Diddy" Combs, who has been recruited as the brand's "Late Night Ambassador."

Combs seems to be taking his new "job" seriously:

"Everyone knows I own the night," said Combs, in a statement. "As 'Late Night Ambassador,' it's my goal to get everyone involved, whether they're leaving a club, concert or studio session. BK is the only place that does late-night right."

Does this mean BK is going to start serving raccoon dog meat now?

Burger King Now Open 'Til 2 A.M. [Burger King]
(Photo: Morton Fox )

Gateway is advertising "free shipping," but you have to pay a $20 "handling charge." At least they're upfront that the free shipping isn't really free, but how can they get away with calling it free when it still costs $20?

Well, Holland, we guess they were just hoping that their potential customers weren't too bright. Ya know?

Gateway

Bad
Service
Crap
Boring
Annoying
Broken
Cheap
Dull
Hell
India
Junk
Lame
Old and
Shit

...and then of course Comcast:
Bad Service
Assholes
Bastards
Big
Boring
Broken Bullshit
Cable
Comcastic
Craptastic
Crap
Evil
Overpriced
Monopoly
Ripoff
Slow
Sucks
TV and
Ugh

What's the first thing that pops into your head when you think of Sprint?

BrandTags [via BuzzFeed ]

Reader Matt copied us on a letter he sent to Charter's VP of Customer Operations and CEO:

Dear Mr. Stackhouse,

I am a high speed internet subscriber in the Fort Worth, TX area. For the last year or so I have had Charter’s 10 Megabit service and I am a satisfied customer. I am writing, however, because I am concerned by your recent letter discussing the “enhancement” that will be coming soon to my Charter web browsing experience (targeted, in-line advertisement manipulation). I appreciate Charter’s respect for my privacy, but the method that Charter has provided to opt-out of this tracking scheme is insecure and woefully inadequate.

The method that you provide to opt-out is as follows. First, a customer must visit www.charter.com/onlineprivacy. Once at the site, the customer must enter his or her complete name and address. Upon submission of this personal information, the customer must accept a cookie from Charter that indicates his or her opt-out status. While this process sounds simple on face, further consideration reveals that this opt-out method is fraught with privacy concerns and places the burden on your paying customer, rather than Charter.

The most pressing privacy issue with this opt-out method is that the opt-out form presented at the aforementioned URL is not encrypted. As I’m sure you realize, this means that a user submitting his or her address to Charter is doing so in the clear, leaving this personal information open to eavesdropping. It is not difficult to create an SSL-encrypted web form. It is troubling that Charter has not done so in this case.

The fact that this opt-out system relies on a cookie to keep users opted out is also a privacy issue. By telling customers who visit the opt-out page that, “if you delete your cookies or cache files… you will have to opt-out again,” you are encouraging users to keep those files that good privacy practices dictate should be frequently purged. Ironically, the best reason to purge one’s cookies often is to prevent internet marketers from tracking one’s behavior online.

In addition to the critical privacy concerns, the steps required to avoid being tracked by this new advertising system place the burden on your customers, rather than on Charter where it belongs. A customer should be able to opt-out of this advertising tracking system in a manner that will rarely, if ever, require the customer to opt-out again. Instead, because the system uses cookies, a customer must insecurely opt-out of being tracked on each PC in his or her home. Further compounding the work that the customer has to do, if the he or she deletes cookies in accordance with safe browsing techniques, it will be necessary to insecurely opt-out on each and every PC again.

I suggest that rather than force your customers through unending iterations of opting out of this advertising system, you should allow customers like me to opt-out at the cable modem level via a secure, encrypted form on your website. I’m glad to hear that Charter has an appreciation for my privacy, but please change your opt-out process to demonstrate that you also have an appreciation for my time and security online.

Matt's letter focuses on the flawed opt-out clause, but the program itself, an implementation of "deep packet inspection," is more worrying to us. Deep packet inspection allows an ISP to monitor not only its users searches and visited websites, but also the type of activity (e.g., email or peer-to-peer), which could be used for traffic shaping and threatens net neutrality.

Charter to Monitor Surfing, Insert Its Own Targeted Ads [DSLReports]
(Photo: Getty)

"The 50 Greatest Commercial Parodies of All Time" [Nerve.com via Neatorama]

UPDATE: After drafting this post, I re-emailed the Dell execs who said they would help me. One of them wrote back to say that these May catalogs are the last I will get. He says that I spoke with him back in March, they had already missed the May cuttoff because they process the files far in advance. We'll see what the mailman brings next month.

5. Goldenpalace.com at the 2004 Athens Olympic Games.
A man donning a purple tutu with the words "Goldenpalace.com" painted on his torso, jumped off of a high dive board into the olympic swimming pool. Greek officials were not pleased, slapping the man with 3 months in Greek prison. Ultimately, he was released and given a fine of a few hundred dollars.

4. Microsoft Zune at South by Southwest Interactive Festival in Austin, Texas.
At the SXSW, a man was simply posting bright large Zune posters in different locations, but it would seem that the hatred of Zune spreads far and wide. He was detained and handcuffed by police as onlookers were heard yelling things such as, "We'll have none of your advertising for your DRM'd crippleware'd crappy MP3 player littering our town!"

3. "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" movie poster campaign.
This campaign featured posters across the country that read, "You suck Sarah Marshall." However, the real Sarah Marshalls' of the country were none too pleased. In response, new posters went up that read, "You suck Judd Apatow," a hostile salute to the film's producer.

2. Nvidia manufactures hype with fake forum fanfare.
A few years ago, Nivdia was accused of making fake posts in forums to tout their new product. This is probably the most common guerilla-marketing tactic since it is so easy to do. Because Nvidia is such a big company with a ravenous fan base, their forum forgeries seem to be the most infamous. The Consumerist featured this story in early 2006.

1. Aqua Teen Hunger Force and the Boston bomb scare of 2007.
Approximately 20 glowing signs depicting a character from the cartoon series were mounted in strategic areas around Boston, including places around bridges and overpasses. The areas seemed a little too strategic for Boston officials who summoned the bomb squad to dismantle the innocuous signs. The stunt cost Turner Broadcasting Company $2 million which went to reimburse Boston PD and Homeland Security. Apparently, the city feared the dreaded "Lite Brite" bomb, so popular among terrorists.

5 Great Examples of Guerilla Marketing Gone Wrong: Olympic Belly-Flops To the Boston Bomb Scare [WebUrbanist]
(Photo: WebUrbanist)