Celebrate The Imminent Return Of Jesus With 50% Off All Jewelry

Celebrate The Imminent Return Of Jesus With 50% Off All Jewelry

When the End Times come, all world economies will collapse, leaving the unlucky survivors to barter for their survival. Precious metals and gems will be very popular. That’s probably why this jewelry store in the Midwest took out local TV ads promoting their “Second Coming Sale” with 50% off all merchandise. It’s not even close to Easter yet!
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Hobby Lobby Just Wants To Share Craft Supplies And Christ With You

Hobby Lobby Just Wants To Share Craft Supplies And Christ With You

The big box craft store Hobby Lobby famously places full-page, Christian-themed ads every Easter in newspapers in the markets where it has stores. They also make this message the centerpiece of their Web site during the period right before and after Easter, with a religious messages where normally one would find information about sales on picture frames and sock yarn.

Sarah tells Consumerist that she noticed this when she visited the chain’s site to print out a coupon, and wrote to the company to tell them that she was offended. A Hobby Lobby representative answered that he was sorry that she was offended, but the company believes that it would conversely be “truly insensitive” not to share their religious message with all customers, Christian or not.

No Shade For Sweaty Cleveland iPhone 3G Hopefuls

No Shade For Sweaty Cleveland iPhone 3G Hopefuls

Reader Ron writes:

Can Prayer Lower Gas Prices? These People Think So

Can Prayer Lower Gas Prices? These People Think So

Some people think we don’t have a prayer of gas prices dipping below $3.00 for a good long haul. These parishioners holding hands around a Shell station beg to differ. They’re part of a group called “Pray At The Pump,” organizing prayer-circles at various DC area gas stations, hoping to goad divine intervention into lowering gas prices. I wonder if they carpooled to the rendezvous point.

Black & Decker Food Processor Comes With Creepy Religious Materials

Black & Decker Food Processor Comes With Creepy Religious Materials

Ever wonder how Jesus and American Idol are different? Reader Jessica didn’t, even after she found a religious pamphlet on the subject in a Black & Decker food processor she picked up at Walmart. She is now “totally creeped out,” and doesn’t quite know how to respond.

Talking Jesus Action Figure Sells Out At Walmart

Talking Jesus Action Figure Sells Out At Walmart

If you were planning on getting a Talking Jesus Action Figure this Christmas (or whatever) you’re almost out of luck. Walmart has completely sold out of the toy and Target.com has “very limited supply,” according to the manufacturer’s spokesperson, Joshua Livingston.

Walmart Sanctifies The Toy Aisle With Talking Jesus Action Figures

Walmart Sanctifies The Toy Aisle With Talking Jesus Action Figures

The Des Moines Register would like you to know that Walmart is test marketing some talking Jesus action figures. The dolls will set you back $14.97.

HOWNOTTO: Pay Your Bills

HOWNOTTO: Pay Your Bills

This has to be the worst financial advice ever.

King of Jews, King of Brews

King of Jews, King of Brews

He walked on water, He cured the festering and the blind, He turned water into wine. But after a hard day on the cross, even the King of Kings needed a frosty cold one. But two thousand years later, theologians still wrestle with a truly massive question: what would Jesus drink?

Talking Bible Dolls ‘Fun,’ ‘Faithful,’ But Can You Wash Them in a Lake of Fire?

Talking Bible Dolls ‘Fun,’ ‘Faithful,’ But Can You Wash Them in a Lake of Fire?

We’re always excited by new product releases, especially when they’re graven images of Christian religious figures.

Amazing Phallus Stretching Device

Amazing Phallus Stretching Device

It’s Good Friday, and we here in Ireland are a little bit angry. Not only are our Gawker overlords making us actually work today, but it seems Irish off-licenses don’t sell alcohol on Good Friday and the theological reminder that Jesus actually drank wine on the day of his death isn’t enough to get them to open up, no matter how many times we call the owner’s house and scream Bible verses at him.

Chick-Fil-A Gives Free Sandwiches to Church-Goers

Chick-Fil-A Gives Free Sandwiches to Church-Goers

Chick-Fil-A likes God. If Jesus was poultry, they’d serve ‘em up with BBQ communion wine sauce. The store is never open Sundays. The sponsor Christian music concerts. A Muslim sued them alleging they forced him to pray at work.

For That Ads: Listen to McCann Erickson

For That Ads: Listen to McCann Erickson

These aren’t just good ads. They’re good ads about advertising, which is both disgusting and even better.