Through our extensive research and development, we believe we have hit the mark with the protein and fruit-blended beverage we have developed, which is made from simple ingredients that provide the benefit of sustained energy that our customers want.

This new beverage will initially be available in two flavors and will include fresh fruit and a proprietary whey protein, with no artificial sweeteners, delivering 15 or more grams of protein with no more than 270 calories.

On a recent trip to Italy, we found a unique beverage platform that we believe to be a perfect complement to our overall beverage business. This exclusive, proprietary opportunity was developed through a partnership with our Italian supplier and represents a brand new category of beverage, which is both refreshing, low calorie, and indulgent at the same time. It offers a unique frozen, smooth texture, distinctive taste profiles and options ranging from fruit-based to dairy-based to yogurt-based ingredients...

And we believe customer acceptance of this new distinctive beverage category will create a new demand, drive incremental traffic to our stores much like Frappuccino did 10 years ago.

So even if Starbucks rolled out literally the best smoothies available in America, wiping Jamba Juice off the face of the earth and converting every last one of their customers, that would still increase revenue by just 11 percent. And the reality, of course, will be far more modest.

Not only is the impact of the new beverages likely to be minimal, but they also seem at odds with C.E.O. Howard Schultz's stated intention to bring the focus at Starbucks back to coffee.

The labor intensity of making the drinks, the added blender noise, and the new task of sourcing fruit all add up to distractions from that core concern.

No Smoothie Sailing For Starbucks [Portfolio]
Starbucks F2Q08 (Qtr End 3/30/08) Earnings Call Transcript [Seeking Alpha]
(Photo: artnchicken )

What did he discover? Secret menu items are for real.

On the Chipotle Chicken Quesadilla: "It's so good that I tell them they should have it on the menu, to which the kindly lady who prepared my food wistfully says, "Hopefully, it will be, someday."

On the Subway Pizza Sub:
"There are like nine pepperoni slices on it, and maybe it's just my imagination, but I could swear I felt my arteries hardening with every bite."

On the Jamba Juice Pink Starburst Smoothie:
"It tastes — wait for it — like a pink Starburst candy, albeit in liquid form. And instead of being done with it after a few seconds, I have a giant cup of it."

We sort of want to try that chicken quesadilla. He made it sound really good. —MEGHANN MARCO

Top secret [Arizona Daily Star]
(Photo: uberculture)

PREVIOUSLY: The Really Big Guide To Secret Menu Items

We just got interviewed by someone doing a story on the matter and this is what they were told by Jamba Juice PR.

See, when we, and a reader, contacted Jamba Juice customer service to ask what was in their "non-dairy dairy blend" the customer service reps saw a page very similar to what you see in the picture at left. Note how "Non Dairy Dairy" is at the top of the page. Note the giant space.

The customer service reps thought that "Non-dairy dairy" was the page heading.

So, like we previously reported, when we asked what was in the "non dairy dairy mix," they went down the ingredients list, they read off the ingredients for the Jamba Juice Lower Calorie Dairy Base.

See now, that wasn't so hard was it? But Jamba Juice PR never mentioned the space/heading issue, even when we asked, "Two different reps, both talking about non-dairy mix, both saying there's milk in it. Why?"

Full-size comparison, inside...

Proofreading is good for you. — BEN POPKEN

PREVIOUSLY:
Jamba Juice Says It Doesn't Sell Milk-Filled "Non-Dairy Blend"
Jamba Juice's "Non-Dairy Blend" Secret Ingredient? Milk.

Two days ago we asked Jamba Juice via web form for the ingredients in the "non-dairy mix." They said one of the ingredients was Grade A Nonfat Dried Milk.

Yesterday, reader Delorean called Jamba Juice customer service and asked whether their "non-dairy mix" contained milk. Jamba Juice told him yes. But then today he called and Jamba Juice told him they don't sell a non-dairy mix.

Likewise, today, Jamba Juice PR rep Kara Burke writes The Consumerist,

....Jamba Juice does not have a "non-dairy blend." This is something that does not exist as part of our product offering and never has. The ingredients that Customer Service provided you with refer to Jamba's "lower calorie dairy base."

Apparently, two different JJ customer service reps equated "non-dairy mix" with their "lower calorie dairy base." Indeed, the ingredients we were cited sound congruent with those mentioned here. Maybe they got confused because "lower calorie dairy base" is listed on the same page as "non-dairy dairy" in the Jamba Juice handbook, as in the above pic of the nutritional guide available in JJ stores.

Though, Delorean swears he saw juice marked as non-dairy, but without pictures, who can tell.

In any event, Burke says, "Jamba will be changing all its nutritional guides to include full listing if ingredients by fall 2007."

JAMBA JUICE: Thank you for calling Jamba Juice, how may I help you?

DELOREAN: Yes, I was wondering about the ingredients in your Jamba Juice products.

JAMBA JUICE: Ok, let me transfer you to customer service.

(very short hold time)

BARBARA: Hello, my name is Barbara thank you for calling Jamba Juice. How may I help you today?

DELOREAN: Yes, I had a question about some of the ingredients in one of your products.

BARBARA: Yes, and what kind of questions did you have?

DELOREAN: You see, I was at the store yesterday, and my friend saw some "Jamba Juice, Non-dairy blend." When he found out I drank Jamba Juice, he was interested, but asked me to make sure there was NO dairy products of any kind in it. When I called yesterday, a service rep told me that there was milk in your non-dairy blend; I was a little concerned about that, especially for my friend, so I was calling to clear that up.

BARBARA: Yes sir, we are aware that there have been some postings floating around the internet about the presence of milk in our products, such as on blogs, and various websites. We don't know who posted them, but there is no milk in the product.

DELOREAN: But I didn't read that on a website. That's what a Jamba Juice rep told me yesterday on the phone. She told me that there was milk in your non-dairy blend Jamba Juice.

BARBARA: Well, we don't actually have a "non-dairy blend," what we have is a type of juice that contains some soy products, a Sorbet blend, and a blend with soy products in it. I can pull up the ingredients for those products for you, sir.

DELOREAN: Ok, what are the ingredients for the Sorbet blend, and the Soymilk blend?

(she proceeds to read the ingredients, which don't contain milk.)

DELOREAN: Uh-huh. But, that's what the rep told me yesterday.

BARBARA: Well sir, we do not have a "non-dairy" blend, sir.

DELOREAN: That's weird though, cause I didn't see the Sorbet or Soymilk blend in the store yesterday; there was just a bunch of Explicitly-marked Non-Dairy blend Jamba Juice. What does that mean? Is there some type of counterfeit Jamba Juice out there? I'm really concerned about this.

BARBARA: Well sir, I don't know what else to say about this. There is no counterfeit Jamba Juice, however, sir. Did you have anymore questions today, sir?

DELOREAN: No, but are you sure there's no bootleg Jamba Juice out there, who stole your recipe to make a profit?

BARBARA: (laughing) No, sir, there is no counterfeit Jamba Juice.

DELOREAN: Alright, thank you.

BARBARA: Thank you for calling Jamba Juice, sir.

— BEN POPKEN

PREVIOUSLY: Jamba Juice's "Non-Dairy Blend" Secret Ingredient? Milk.
(Photo: gruntzooki)

Jamba Juice says it won't tell you upfront the ingredients in its "non-dairy blend" because of "trade secrets," but perhaps the real secret is that it contains milk products and an ingredient known to give some people explosive diarrhea.

There's a book in Jamba Juice with the ingredients list for all their products, but when you flip to their non-dairy (but "dairy-esque) products, there's nothing.

Cory Doctorow asked us, "AFAICT, this is illegal, and it's pretty dirty - I mean, shouldn't we have a right to know what's in the food they sell us... Even Coke tells you what's IN Coke, just not the proportions/process."

Jamba Juice says they withhold the ingredients to protect their trade secrets, but we'll tell you what they are anyway.

(Photo: gruntzooki)

If you have an allergy, you can ask at the counter and they'll tell you if the juice contains the allergens.

"Got peanuts? Nope, go fish."

It's actually not illegal for businesses to withhold their ingredients list if it concerns a trade secret, as cited in several provisions of Chapter 4 of the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act. However, Bills are on the docket in several states to strengthen labeling laws.

We emailed Jamba Juice customer service and they provided the ingredients list for their "non-dairy blend": Water, Grade A Nonfat Dried Milk, Grade A Whey, Grade A Whey Protein Concentrate, Splenda, Sodium Alginate, Maltodextrin, Pectin, Carrageenan, Sodium Citrate, Sodium Hexametaphosphate, Natural Flavor, Annatto.

Maybe the process of drying and removing the fat from milk makes it like a non-dairy creamer, but some consumers might be pissed if they were buying the non-dairy Jamba Juice for ethical or religious reasons, and not just dietary.

Also notable is that maltodextrin gives some consumers explosive diarrhea.

Jamba Juice didn't provide comments in time for this post's publication. — BEN POPKEN

"It was one of those things that you just sit and you're like wow, the world can be that ignorant sometimes," Pabro told CBS13. "It's really tough to go and thing that if I go in this establishment I wonder what name they are going to call me today."

Take note: The CBS link has excellent video of a stammering confused Jamba Juice employee trying to answer for the clerk while fielding calls from Jamba Juice corporate. —MEGHANN MARCO

Woman Finds Offensive Slur On Jamba Juice Receipt [CBS13](Thanks, Attorney Wrangler!)

Here it is, your guide to secret menu items. Sure, it's not the secret rib eye at Nobu, but it's something. Before reading this please note that this article has not been fact-checked. This report is based purely on reader suggestions. We are posting them entirely without confirmation and are not going to try to order any of this crap in order to confirm its existence. We would die of heart disease, be broke, and our ass would be the size of Texas. This is the internet, the internet is not fact-checked, and these are your secret menu items. Enjoy.

Taco Bell: Everything Taco Bell makes is comprised of a few basic ingredients, so they'll likely make anything they have the stuff for, which is probably pretty much anything they've ever served. Examples to attempt: Cheesy Gordita Crunch, Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes, Encharito.

Wendy's: A tipster tells us, "order a "Grand Slam", It would otherwise be called a Classic Quadruple, were it on the menu." Reader bringafajita suggests trying to get a "Quarter Pound Double Stack with Cheese." FishingCrue tells us to try "Everything" (lettuce and tomato) on a Wendy's Double Stack, sometimes it's even free. If they look at you like you're crazy, tell them there's a button for it. A double stack with everything, add bacon is a decent sandwich for somewhere south of 2 bones."

Chipotle: Chipotle will, like Taco Bell, make anything they have the ingredients for. Unlike Taco Bell, this is an official policy. Some suggestions: Nachos, Quesadilla, Individual Tacos, Taco Salads, Tiny Bean Burritos Using Taco Shells, Fresh Cilantro on Your Tacos, whatever you can think of.

Subway: Subway will still make the "pizza sub," and many other former menu items. Also, they can't sell "broken cookies," so they may give you some for free.

Jamba Juice: Jamba has an entire secret menu of "unhealthy" smoothies named after things that would involve copyright violations were they to be included on the menu. The ones we know of:White Gummi Bear, Red Gummi Bear, Green Gummi Bear, Raspberry Dreamin', Pineapple Dreamin', Sourpatch Kid, Tropical Tango, Pacific Passion, Berry Depressing, Now and Later, Peanut Butter and Jelly, Apple Pie, Fruity Pebbles, Rainbow Sherbet, Strawberry Shortcake, Push Pop, Skittles, Andres' Surprise, and Lemonade Lightnin'. (Thanks,ronaldscott!)

In-N-Out Burger: Has their "secret" menu posted on their website, but a tipster writes in: "Not only can you get an animal style burger but you can also get animal style fries which are amazing. It's fries piled with onions, cheese and sauce and they come with a fork." In addition, we hear several voices calling from the mist, whispering that the secret menu doesn't stop at 4 x 4., but may, in fact, go on to infinity. Or at least to 100 x 100...
(Thanks, xapplexjuicex!)

Starbucks: Starbucks will make you absolutely anything you want no matter how insane it is, according to our tipster.

"Baristas might try and tell their customers that no, we can't do that with the blenders. This is a lie. Starbucks corporate policy is that the customer is ALWAYS right (even when the request is stupid). If you really insist that you want your iced soy latte blended, the baristas HAVE to do it. If they continue to refuse, ask to speak to a manager and either they'll realize they're about to get in trouble and will fill your request, or the manager will come out and politely tell the barista to make the customer happy.

Absolutely any concoction that you can think of (involving any type of milk, syrup, coffee, etc.) will be made for you. The limits to Starbucks "secret menu" are merely the limits of your imagination. You can even bring supplements from home and ask the barista to please include that in your drink."

(Photo: cogdogblog)

• Jamba Juice has an entire secret smoothie menu. We remember that it used to be on Wikipedia, but has mysteriously vanished. All the smoothies are made from stuff in the store, but most aren't as healthy as the ones the promote. They are, however, in the register. Some secret ones to try:
Strawberry Shortcake, White Gummy Bear, PB+J, Pink Starburst, Skittles, Red Gummy Bear, Sourpatch Kid, Now and Later, Push Pop, Fruity Pebbles. The consensus seems to be that "White Gummy Bear" is the most delicious substance known to man.

• In-and-Out Burger's Secret Menu. This one is posted on their website

• Chipotle. According to Wikipedia a quesadilla is considered a secret item.

Now, we know you guys know about more of these "secret menus" from different restaurants. We want to put together a list. An ultimate guide.

Do you work at Jamba? Send the complete menu. Work somewhere else and know what's up? Send it. Tips [at] consumerist [dot] com. Put "Secret Menu" in the subject.—MEGHANN MARCO

Secret Off-the-Menu Items [Buzzfeed]