So far the market is still small—maybe 5% of collections—but the Times says more contracts are in the pipeline, and that companies are also looking to Mexico, Romania, and the Phillipines. Delinquent mortgage loans will probably continue to be handled in the U.S. because they involve complex state and federal laws, but "credit card, auto and other debt are prime candidates for collection overseas."

"Debt Collection Done From India Appeals to U.S. Agencies " [New York Times] (Thanks to SSH!)
(Photo: Getty)

But don't worry, Countrywide is hiring more reps to help save homeowners from getting foreclosed...

At an investor conference on Sept. 18, Angelo R. Mozilo, Countrywide's chief executive, said the company would be hiring more staff members to do home-retention and loss-mitigation work. Those employees, however, will be based in India.

Can These Mortgages Be Saved? [NYT]
(Photo: Meghann Marco)

When the data was re-analyzed, it showed that the number of candy shipments rejected from Denmark had not been higher than the number of seafood shipments rejected from China, as the article stated. The number of shipments rejected from China was also misstated; it was 331, not 391.

Further, the re-analysis found that the F.D.A. had refused 1,782 shipments of all products from India, not 2,620. The number from Mexico was 1,560, not 1,876; the number from China was 1,901, not 2,723; and the number from the Dominican Republic was 862, not 887.

Times Report Miscounted Refusals of Foreign Shipments [NYT]
PREVIOUSLY: Tainted Exports Also Come From Countries Not Named China
(Photo: Kichigai Mentat)

Salmonella was the top reason that food was rejected from India, and it was found in products like black pepper, coriander powder and shrimp. "Filthy" was the primary reason food was stopped from Mexico, and the rejections included lollipops, crabmeat and dried chili.

We are not surprised. Manufacturers everywhere feel the same economic pressures to cut corners and boost profits. It's globalization, man. More of a surprise and a disappointment is the FDA's refusal to let the press view refusal reports from before 2006; the agency will not release the documents public unless the press files a formal Freedom of Information request.

The FDA knows food safety is a major issue, and even has a solution that they have no plans to implement.

An F.D.A. plan to revamp the way it inspects imports, called the Import Strategic Plan, was completed in 2003, but shelved because of budgetary constraints, several former F.D.A. officials said. The plan would have focused more on finding potential risks in the food supply using vast quantities of information — from inspectors and manufacturers to foreign governments and consumers — to aim at problem imports.

"It basically got deep-sixed," said William Hubbard, a former F.D.A. associate commissioner who resigned in 2005 and is now a part of a coalition that is advocating for more financing for the agency. "There was no capacity to cover as imports went up," he said.

Noting that the number of import shipments has vastly increased in the last 15 years, he said: "That's a huge, huge increase and they've lost people. These guys are going to war without enough troops. They don't even have guns."

China Not Sole Source of Dubious Food [NYT]
(Photo: bengal*foam)

This is what happens when you hire customer service reps who can't read and can only select pre-programmed responses from drop-down menus.

This is also what happens when, if you see tier 1 customer service is absolutely incompetent, you don't escalate your issue. Email staff really stupid? Try calling customer service. Phone support goes nowhere? Try calling an executive. Or writing a letter to the corporate headquarters.

Absolutely pathetic customer service, in blow-by-blow email, inside...

I'm having an incredibly hard time with Buy.com on some CDRs. I don't know if you want to pick this up, or have any advice for me, but I'd sure appreciate it.

Bill

—--Original Message—--
From: noreply@checkout.google.com
To: support@customerservice.buy.com
Subject: {Disarmed} Dissatisfied with order #835xxxxxxxxxxxx [Ref:250xxxx]
Date: 5 December 2006, 19:35 Hrs.

Hello Buy.com,

William C. W has sent you the following message:

Dissatisfied with order #835010832674223: My package arrived today. It contained two spindles of 100 disks. (part # ZCD-R80SXSC*MC, sku# 020356487935) My order was for two spindles of 150 disks. I am 100 disks short.

Order Details
- Nov 29, 2006 7:31:59 PM EST
- Order #835010832674223
Print Qty Item Price 2 150pk 80min Cdr $62.36
Shipping & Handling (Standard: 3 to 5 business days): $13.12
Tax (RI): $0.00
Total: $75.48

Replies to this email will be sent directly to William C. W. Click here to view order #835010832674223.

—-

On 12/8/06, support@customerservice.buy.com < support@customerservice.buy.com> wrote:

Hello William C. W,

Thank you for contacting Buy.com.

This is in reference to your email regarding order #305xxxxx.

We apologize for the inconvenience you have experienced with this order. Because you have not received the item, we need to file a claim on your behalf.

In your reply please let us know if you would like a replacement of the same item or a refund to your original payment method.

Please note, it may take a few days for your lost/short shipment claim to be processed.

We appreciate your patience and loyalty.

Sincerely,

Brok Buy.com Customer Service www.buy.com

—--Original Message—--
From: William-[redacted]@checkout.google.com
To: Buycom-sgffchmnuk3@checkout.google.com
Subject: Re: {Disarmed} Dissatisfied with order #835xxxxxxxxxxxx [Ref:250xxxx]
Date: 16 December 2006, 14:40 Hrs.

please send me the rest of my disks.

—-

On 12/20/06, support@customerservice.buy.com < support@customerservice.buy.com> wrote:

Hello William C. W ,

Thank you for contacting Buy.com.

This is in reference to your email regarding order #305xxxxx

We apologize for any issues you are having with the shipment of your order. We have filed a lost/short shipment claim on your behalf. We will update you on the status of your claim via email or phone.

Please allow a few days for us to process your claim. Please note that the processing time may be longer depending on the carrier, shipment method chosen, weight of package, etc.

If your claim was for replacement and you are in immediate need of the missing item from your order, we suggest that you place a new order for the item on the Buy.com website. If you chose to place a new order instead of waiting for the claim to be processed for a replacement then please send us an email and let us know. This way we can update your request to refund and avoid an additional replacement order from being sent.

We thank you for your patience in the matter and appreciate your loyalty.

Sincerely,

Mathew Buy.com Customer Service www.buy.com

—--Original Message—--
From: [redacted]@gmail.com
To: support@customerservice.buy.com
Subject: Re: {Disarmed} Dissatisfied with order #835xxxxxxxxxxxx [Ref:250xxxx]
Date: 7 February 2007, 23:10 Hrs.

OK - it has been more than a month. I only received half my order. I'd like the rest of the disks, or a refund please.

respectfully, Bill

—-

On 2/11/07, support@customerservice.buy.com wrote:
Hello William C. W,

Thank you for contacting Buy.com.

This is in reference to your email regarding order #305xxxxx.

It will not be possible for us to send rest of the disks. We thank you for writing to us for assistance with the return of item #10389419. We will gladly assist you in determining if an RMA/Pre-paid UPS return shipping label can be issued for a return. To ensure that we are able to honor your RMA request we need to know the following:

- Have the items been opened? - Is the original packaging intact? - Is the UPC barcode intact? If not, please provide the reason. - Would you like to receive a replacement or credit?

To send us an email, please use this link:

http://www.buy.com/corp/support/email/default.asp?Loc=307;&what=anytimehelp

We are eagerly waiting for your response and will promptly reply once we have the information from you.

Sincerely,

Edward Buy.com Customer Service www.buy.com

—--Original Message—--
From: [redacted]@gmail.com
To: support@customerservice.buy.com
Subject: Re: {Disarmed} Dissatisfied with order #835xxxxxxxxxxxx [Ref:250xxxx]
Date: 11 February 2007, 12:49 Hrs.

Hello Edward.

I will admit that this is trying my patience. I ordered and paid for 300 CDRs. I only received 200. All I am asking for is the other 100 disks that I already paid for. I have already opened and started using the disks I received (two months ago). They are very nice. Please send me the rest of the disks, or put me in touch with someone who can.

thanks, Bill

—-

On 2/14/07, support@customerservice.buy.com wrote:
Hello William C. W,

Thank you for contacting Buy.com.

This is in reference to your email regarding order #305xxxxx.

We suggest that you either contact the manufacturer for the part that was not included or was damaged or return the product to us for replacement of the same product or a refund.

In most cases, we suggest that you contact the manufacturer directly because they will ask for serial numbers, box UPC codes, or registration information that was shipped to you, which is in your possession.

You may also contact the manufacturer for additional technical, product and compatibility information on their products that is not listed on our website.

As we carry a vast inventory, we do not have any additional product information other than what appears on our product descriptions shown on our website. Furthermore, since the manufacturers themselves package their products, we do not have extra parts available to ship.

If you would like to return the product, please read our Return Policy at:

http://www.buy.com/corp/support/returns/

Thank you for shopping with Buy.com.

Sincerely,

Jacob Buy.com Customer Service www.buy.com

—--Original Message—--
From: [redacted]@gmail.com
To: support@customerservice.buy.com
Subject: Re: {Disarmed} Dissatisfied with order #835xxxxxxxxxxxx [Ref:250xxxx]
Date: 14 February 2007, 15:37 Hrs.

The problem here is not a "missing part". I ordered and paid for 300 CDRs and you only shipped me 200. Please send me the rest of my order. You did not send me all the CDRs I paid for. If you cannot accommodate this, please contact me IMMEDIATELY at xxx-xxx-xxx

Bill

—-

On 2/23/07, support@customerservice.buy.com wrote:

Hello William C. W,

Thank you for contacting Buy.com.

This is in reference to your email regarding order #305xxxxx.

We apologize for the inconvenience you have experienced with this order. Since you have received wrong product towards your order for item #10389419 we will gladly assist you in determining if an RMA/ARS can be issued for a return. To ensure that we are able to honor your RMA request we need to know the following:

- Has the item been opened? - Is the item defective? If so, please explain the nature of the defect. - Is the original packaging intact? - Is the UPC barcode intact? - Would you like to receive a replacement or credit?

To send us an email, please use this link:

http://www.buy.com/corp/support/email/default.asp? Loc=307;&what=anytimehelp

Additionally, in an endeavor to resolve your problem, your case has already been escalated. We will respond to your original email once we have a solution. Please be assured of our best service.

We are eagerly waiting for your response and will promptly reply once we have the information from you.

Sincerely,

Richard Buy.com Customer Service www.buy.com

—--Original Message—--
From: [redacted]@gmail.com
To: support@customerservice.buy.com
Subject: Re: {Disarmed} Dissatisfied with order #835xxxxxxxxxxxx [Ref:250xxxx]
Date: 8 March 2007, 13:15 Hrs.

- Has the item been opened?
Yes.
- Is the item defective? If so, please explain the nature of the defect.
No.
- Is the original packaging intact? No. - Is the UPC barcode intact?
No.
- Would you like to receive a replacement or credit?
All I want is the other 100 CDRs that I bought but you never shipped to me.

—-

On 3/17/07, support@customerservice.buy.com wrote:

Hello William C W,

Thank you for contacting Buy.com.

This is in reference to your email regarding order #305xxxxx.

We regret that we cannot exchange the item shipped to you, but you can return it for refund and place a new order for an item you want.

To see if you can return your item, please see our Return Policy at:

http://www.buy.com/corp/support/returns/default.asp?what=returnpolicy

Thank you for your patience and understanding in this matter.

Sincerely,

Sabrina Buy.com Customer Service www.buy.com

—--Original Message—--
From: [redacted]@gmail.com To: support@customerservice.buy.com
Subject: Re: {Disarmed} Dissatisfied with order #835xxxxxxxxxxxx [Ref:250xxxx]
Date: 17 March 2007, 23:28 Hrs.

Hello again.

This is really a lot more difficult than it needs to be. Let me review the facts:
1. I ordered 300 CDRs.
2. I paid for 300 CDRs.
3. You shipped me 200 CDRs.
4. I have emailed you seven times (including this email) attempting to resolve this.

I do not wish to return my CDRs, I do not wish to exchange them. All I want is the other 100 CDRs that I have already paid for. Please explain to me exactly what I need to do, or whom I need to contact, in order to make this happen.

patiently, William W

—-

On 3/23/07, support@customerservice.buy.com wrote:

Hello William C. W,

Thank you for contacting Buy.com.

This is in reference to your email regarding order #305xxxxx.

According to our records, FedEx tracking #015140970868407 shows that 2 quantity from item #10389419 have been delivered on Dec 5, 2006 9:53 AM.

We apologize for the inconvenience you have experienced with this order. To ensure that we are able to file a short shipment claim on your behalf, we request you to provide us with the following information:

- What type of package was it (Envelope/Box)?

- Upon receipt, did it appear as though the package had been tampered with at all or does it appear as though the package arrived directly from the factory?

- If so, please describe any tampering evidence.

- Do you still have the original packaging your order was shipped in?

- If so, please DO NOT DISCARD any of the original shipping cartons, packing materials, or empty retail packaging as it may be necessary for the carrier to inspect those items.

- When you opened the package, did it appear as if there would have been enough room for the missing item to have been shipped in the package?

- Was there any discarded packaging inside of the main shipping box such as an empty retail carton of your item or others?

- Kindly provide a valid phone number

Please note that it may take a few days for your short shipment claim to be processed.

We appreciate your patience and loyalty.

Sincerely,

Veronica Buy.com Customer Service www.buy.com

—-

William W to support, Consumerist Mar 23

I received two items on December 5th. I ordered 2x 150 CDRs, what I received were 2x 100 CDRs.

They came in a box, and there was no evidence of tampering. Since this happened almost four months ago, I no longer have the original packing materials. The box was barely big enough for the two spindles - there was no room for anything else.

I am attaching a photo of what I received. Please note, while the photo shows one spindle of 100 CDRs, I in fact, received two.

What I suspect happened was that you (mistakenly) shipped me 2x 100 CDRs, when the order should have been for 2x 150. When I originally contacted you, it would have been possible for me to return the items. However, in the intervening 3+ months, based my correspondence with you, I assumed that the rest of my order would be filled (presumably by another spindle of 100 CDRs, bringing the total to the 300 that I ordered and paid for.) so I started using the product that I received.

All I am asking for at this point is another 100 CDRs, bringing my total to the 300 that I ordered and paid for.

I can be reached at xxx-xxx-xxx. Thank you for your attention.

respectfully, Bill

Presumably, they're still duking it out. — BEN POPKEN

Though each Indian call center is different, our tipster explains how his measures success, inside...

(Photo: sarae)

An outside firm calls the customers after they've had contact with us, and asks them to score us on a scale of 1 to 5. And yes, we get a weekly report of the scores for each site. [We have] minimum targets (which is for 50 percent of callers to rate us a perfect 5, and 85 percent of callers to rate us a 4 or a 5.) And despite what people may think, they REALLY care about those scores. A single low scoring call has managers scrambling, arranging meetings, people tracking down the recording, action plans, training sessions being arranged, charts, graphs.... etc.

It may seem to the customer like no one cares, but that's because no one at our site is authorized to get into contact with the customer to apologize or acknowledge the complaint. (another issue to send up the totem pole.)

There are a series of around 15 questions they ask.

• What's your overall experience with the company,
  
• How likely are you to recommend the company to your friends,
  
• Overall how would you rate the agent you spoke with,
  
• How would you rate their attitude, the level of resolution they gave you, the level of personal attention.... etc.

  The questions about the company are used by the company themselves (and also to give the customer a place to vent so they don't have to take out complaints on the company on the agent), the "overall how would you rate this agent" is the sole factor used in the scores, and the rest (along with comments) are used by trainers to see what exactly lead to the low score so we know what to correct.

When there's a problem, it's usually just a misunderstanding, or a cultural thing. Phrases that are used in India, but not the US, that make a customer think the agent is being rude. Or the agent still in an "Indian customer service mindset". (When dealing with Indian customers it's all about getting right to the answer, completely ignoring any attempt to make the call personal. Also, to avoid confrontation. Even if they know something's gonna take 3 months, they always say '2-3 days' Believe it or not, that's how people like their service here).

Their tendency to start every sentence with "you have to" or "you need to" is most likely to offend. I always get on them for saying "May I know your social security number" because it sounds like they're asking if it's ok that they've memorized it.

Most likely to confuse are simple matters like the mathematical definitions of "into" and "by" being completely opposite, leading to all sorts of confusion. Or simple pronunciation issues, when "year end statement" comes out as "urine statement." I once heard a 20 minute call where the agent referred to both Mr. and Mrs. Haimon as "Mr. and Mrs. Hymen" nearly 10 times per minute.

There's a manual that they follow, that tells them exactly what can and cannot be done in every case. They log into several programs when they come to work.

First, the program that sends them the calls. Then, there's the work station program. Here is where they make notes, and open cases. If something needs to be done, like moving funds into the correct account, waiving a late fee, they just open a case and it's done by the back office guys.

They also log into a program that pulls up scans of all of the customer's documents and files (the number of customers who think they run out to a filing cabinet with the documents of several million customers is also hilarious) And if it's something that needs approval, they can put the customer on hold and connect to a supervisor in the US (who are really just better paid agents with a touch more authority.)

You know the 'this call may be recorded for quality and training purposes" message you hear? I'm that guy. I'm the one that listens, finds problems, and fixes them.

Our tipster explains, after the jump...

I have no power when it comes to how the process is handled, but if I see something is causing problems, I can send a complaint up the totem pole. My focus is just on helping the agents communicate better, and offer better solutions within the framework that the company provided.

There are lots of people who screen calls. Most are from a "quality" standpoint, or how much the calls fit the guidelines set by the client. There 2-3 people on site who do that, and another 2-3 in the US, working for the company itself. For each agent, they monitor around 5-10 calls per month, depending on whether that agent has had problems, or how new they are. My monitoring varies widely. Sometimes I listen to around 10-20 calls a month for each agent, but once I've gathered enough info, I'll focus more on training.

The thing about any corporation like this, and the thing that causes most of the problems in customer service, is that there are just so many people doing so many jobs, that no one quite understands the hierarchy. I mean yes, each department has a head. That head has a boss that presides over the whole building. Then he has a boss that presides over all outsourced centers. Then he reports to the guy that runs all the call centers. But around that are so many team leads and managers, and supervisors, people in quality, training, quality & training, that no one really fully understands what is whose job. I've never actually met the man who is technically my boss. Anything I need to get done gets passed through so many people at so many sites while they try to figure out whose job it is, that it takes months.

According to a tipster who use to work for the company, this is because when you write Equifax a letter, it goes to a PO box, gets scanned, and then someone in India downloads it from a server.

We wouldn't want to malign the industrious and good-natured people of India, but we can be fairly certain that whoever is selecting a response to your letter from a drop-down box on a computer screen, they're the cheapest person Equifax could find...

That's why it may be helpful to contact Equifax executive customer service. — BEN POPKEN

Our tipster says:

"I know a lot of the agents in Deli and Bangalore; they are very smart and typically great troubleshooters - but I am also a realist, and I know that when I call support, I don't like to lose 50% of the call to "communications issues".

Anyway, I just thought people should know. We have been told the decision was made by the outsourcer AND Microsoft, and that it was because it makes more money for the company."

Comments prediction machine says: "Or you could just get Mac!" — BEN POPKEN

(Photo: cambodia4kidsorg)

Your technical support, however, will remain both indiscernible and inutile.

You Say Bangalore, They Say Bengalooru [NYT]

"NEW DELHI — More than 100,000 English-speaking children in Bangalore, India's information technology capital, will soon have to switch to schools offering lessons exclusively in a regional tongue following a crackdown on more than 2,000 English-language institutions in the state of Karnataka."

Great, as if deciphering tech support wasn't hard enough already.

"English-Language Education Banned in Bangalore" [LAT]

So it's easy to vilify the Indian CSR. But this piece over at the Christian Science Monitor from an American who trained them for over a year paints a rare human side of the strangely lilting foreign voice on the other end of the phone:

Most of these students lived in fear of irate customers. Horror stories circulated from experienced agents back to my students about enraged customers screaming at them, demanding to speak to an American - someone who could "speak English." I would prepare them for this possibility by having them act out an angry customer berating an agent. They loved these little dramas. One would energetically pretend to be an outraged customer ("What are you doing? Playing computer games!? I've been on hold for 45 minutes! Get me an American right NOW!"), and the other "agent" would practice cooling him down.

Teaching the introductory classes was fun, but it was when I began teaching retraining classes that I began to get another perspective about what this job was like for agents.

Retraining classes were for five days and for agents who were getting lots of customer complaints. These agents did a lot of grumbling themselves. I was frequently asked, "How can we empathize with frustrated customers when we are so frustrated ourselves?"

Bad customer service is rarely the sole fault of the CSR: it's the fault of the company that looks upon customer service as an expense to be minimized at the expense of quality and satisfaction. This is a charming, somewhat heartbreaking look at the extremely intelligent, well-educated people who are employed by companies for pennies on the dollar to take the shaft.

Inside an Indian Call Center: The Big Disconnect [Christian Science Monitor]

Then Paul needs to buy a new power cord and is transfered to India. Our eyes were pretty much glazed at this point — Indian call center complaints? Welcome to our least favorite consumerist trope. Paul is recommended a laptop power cord. All is well. Our eyes glaze over.

And then they bugged out in delight when we saw this:

When I came back into the room with my pen and paper, my laptop was on fire.

I called tech support, calm like a bomb. "I see you're out of warranty," he says. "Yeah," I said. "You'll want to listen to this before we start making that kind of judgment."

That's pretty much like putting the money shot during the opening credits of the porno film, but we don't care. Paul's email is after the jump.

Sorry for the length. This letter isn't ADD friendly but I had a lot to talk about.

The recent articles on laptop heat have reminded me of my current ongoing issue with Dell. I don't yet know if this is going to be a complaint or kudos.

In the summer of 2004 I purchased a fairly top of the line Dell XPS laptop. A 3.2 ghz beast of a gaming laptop that draws something like 150 watts through a proprietary AC power cable I would use to strangle its inventor if given the chance.
4 months after my initial purchase, my computer began randomly shutting off, giving error messages about overheating and warning me that it could not determine the AC adapter type I was using, as if any other company actually made another version of that damn cable.
I called Dell, and had one of the most surprisingly pleasant customer service experiences of my life. Less than 90 minutes after placing a call to Dell, a DHL van arrived at my door to pick up the laptop. 48 hours later I got it back, good as new. There was a note inside that had a checklist of things that had been worked on, but it was not clearly filled out; the only blemish on what was some of the best customer service I'd ever received was that I didn't know what they'd done to fix it! With excellent, articulate technical support that seemed earnest about wanting to get to the bottom of my issues, combined with the most amazing rapid response for depot repair I'd ever heard of, Dell had won me over.

8 months later, and a month out of warranty, the same problem appeared. The power cable failed, and the overheating began happening constantly...and the heat was real enough to raise the temperature of the room by several degrees even in an idle state. Performance was severely degraded, and full screen video could only be watched in the basement, where the ambient temp was much cooler. Upstairs, the laptop just would not play video. I called Dell to figure out what the repairs would cost me. The technician on the other end went through all the troubleshooting steps with me, and quoted me a price that was a dagger through my college student heart. Done with the troubleshooting, and ready to transfer me to another department to handle the out-of-warranty-repair, the technician asked me if I would hold. I did, and he apparently got a supervisor and went to bat for me, pointing out that during the last year (the length of my warranty) I'd had the same problem twice. When he came back, he told me he'd convinced his supervisor to handle the repairs under the conditions of my original warranty with no cost to me. It was Tuesday at 7pm. Wednesday at 9am DHL picked up my laptop. Thursday at 10am I received my laptop back. They had replaced the CPU, motherboard, heat sink, and even done some cosmetic work, replacing the bezel on my screen, etc. Once again, they had come through quickly for me, even when they didn't have to.

Well, it's been a year, and two months ago, I got yet another power cord error, but at least no heat issues. I called Dell and went through tech support, who spent an ungodly amount of time trying to figure out the part number I would need to use to order a new power cable (I couldn't find it on their website. Neither could they.) I pointed out the absurdity of the "adapter type unknown" error when they are the only ones that make the damn thing, but there was no explanation. After 20 minutes, I was given the part number and transferred to Dell's spare parts division. Their tech support may be all American, but their spare parts section seems to be located in a village outside Bangalore where answering questions posed by customers is considered offensive. The woman I spoke to cared not a whit that I had the part number. She said instead hse first wanted to read my case file. I guess the warehouse people are allowed to second-guess the troubleshooters. She then demanded to know what part I wanted. I began to give her the number, but she cut me off and asked me to describe it. I said "power cord" and she said "I will go look up the number." 15 minutes later, she gave me the part number (which was a number considerably different than I'd been given by the American, but I was respectfully quiet. She quoted me 39$, I told her I wanted it shipped overnight, she said my grand total would be 55 bucks. Excellent. Then the bad news. I wasn't allowed to pay now, and no, it would not ship today. She told me in all seriousness she had to submit paperwork to get permission to send me the part. I asked what the hell that meant, and she indicated it had something to do with making sure it was really a part I needed. I suppose people who just want extra power cords are doubly screwed. I argued, but lost patience and capitulated eventually. She promised to call me in 48 hours.
72 hours later I called, and spoke to a different woman (who sounded like she lived in the same general area of the sweatshop, though). She told me the reason I hadn't been called was that they currently did not have any of these one of a kind power cords, and that it would be approximately 20 days before any more would be in. She promised to call the day they arrived, or May 20th, whichever came first. I called May 21st, and was told just to "keep calling" until they were in.

Last Wednesday, I was finally able to order a part. The price had gone up...it was now 59 dollars for the same cord. I paid for ground shipping, but got it express overnight. Plugged it into the computer, and pressed the power button. Things started to happen, then an odd noise, then it powered off. I tried again, and got a blue screen of death at login. I went to get a pen and paper to write down the error numbers, prepared to put on my old Marine uniform and pillage the nearest Dell facility.

When I came back into the room with my pen and paper, my laptop was on fire.

Not raging inferno fire, but eye-stinging smoke drifting up through the keyboard. I knocked it off my couch and unplugged it. There was a scorch mark and melted plastic on the cushion.

I called tech support, calm like a bomb. "I see you're out of warranty," he says. "Yeah," I said. "You'll want to listen to this before we start making that kind of judgment."

The resulting phone call took just over an hour. I was mostly on hold, but the tech was pleasant and came back often to keep me in the loop on their progress. Just like all my previous talks with tech support, he showed patience and thoroughness and a desire to do everything right the first time. This is a marked difference from my average conversation with my ISP, which I think punishes techs for phone calls lasting longer than 30 seconds.

Dell has committed to replacing my system, already. They're building it now, and I should have it within 10 business days. They indicated that it will be a new model of their current high end laptops, the M1710, which I'm excited about.
They told me after I receive the system, I can see if I can get the data off my old hard drive and into the new. Then they will send someone to pick up my old laptop so they can do their investigation as to why it tried to kill me.

When I receive the new system, I will know for sure if this is too good to be true. If things are great, I will write again and rave about them. If they have failed me, when the time comes I will leak to you exclusive images of the horrors of "Abu Dell."

They're willing to take a cut in pay to get hands-on experience they feel will make them a more attractive commodity upon their return to the United States.

"Yeah, I kind of look at it like a career trajectory," said Linkon, 22, of Milwaukee to MSNBC. "You do this and you set yourself up for bigger things than you would making four times what I make now in Chicago or New York."

An exciting career in the world of high-stakes telephone customer service awaits the youth of today, tomorrow. In the meantime, Sally Struthers also offers degrees in gun repair, tv/vcr repair, and medical transcription.

"Americans make reverse commute — to India. Cutting-edge jobs, early-career experience draw the tech-savvy." [MSNBC]

Paul over at Wizbang, he's not so lucky. You have to read his story. It's fierce, and we mean that in a sassy, you go, girl, kinda way.

This mp3 file is the recording he made of the callback. That's not time or formatting, the original call really was that humorously illegible...how they expect anyone to get any useful information out of it, we don't know. Another reason to not outsource to India!

Listen here

"Call-center workers in India are having nervous breakdowns after being abused by fed-up Australians.

"Some companies are regretting outsourcing this business to India because of the damage it does to their products' reputation," said James Organ, director of Australian research organisation Callcentres.net"

The article goes on to suggest that racism and xenopobia may play some part in the former former and present British colonies' frustration with Indian telemarketers.

We think, however, annoyance is a universal language.

"We're Stressing Indian Callers" [The Sunday Mail via Digg]

"I used to work at Amazon.com customer service Back in the Day (1998 - 2001) and I think most of us working there at the time were happy to be able to treat customers pretty well," Andrew writes. " I'd accept past-the-return-date books people would say they didn't read, refund people's shipping if the thing was even a day late, and hand out gift certificates like candy - and this wasn't me cheating the corporate teat, I was directed to treat customers this way, in order to build a loyal fan base.

They laid us all off in January 2001, moved our jobs to Bangalore, and that's when it all went to hell."

CSR Sweatshop relocations, after the jump...

Andrew continues:

"However, I recently had to call them because something hadn't arrived on time, and lo and begat the chick I talked to spoke clear American English, refunded my shipping, and told me that they were now again located near Seattle, WA. Even if they're underpaying kids in Pullman instead of downtown Seattle, at least I could understand her. Nothing against kids in Bangalore, but - cmon, it just wasn't working. Amazon has always been an early adopter (& patent-adopter *ahem*) so this probably means more companies are going to realize it's easier to bring it back too. I wonder if anyone's heard news about other companies..."

Of course, government officials are slow to recognize the existence of unthinkable paranormal horror. They claim that the calls are being made by companies with vested interests in selling anti-virus software for mobile phones. They also deny that anyone has taken ill or died. "It's all rubbish," they dismiss.

We're not so sure. It's not exactly like people dying because of cell phones is unheard of. Consider The Ring, in which a call on your cell phone results in an insect-like Sadako creeping out of your television in the middle of the night to strangle you. Or, in America, the time we beat that teenager clean to death in the local IMAX with one for making Jerky Boys phone calls during V For Vendetta.

Anyway, just a warning... count the digits of your incoming callers. That next incoming call could be your last.

Devil' mobile phone calls spark panic in east India [Yahoo News]

Really, although our quasi-journalistic duty is to cluck our tongues disparagingly at the fast food companies making India the first country in the world with both massive famine problems and massive obesity problems — it's just so hard when the food sounds so good. So read the article and fill in the tongue clucking noises yourself. It's actually highly entertaining. Here's the opening quote:

When K.K. Bhagat spotted his one-time classmate, he was not sure it was her. In the past 20 years, she had gained 70 pounds. He had put on 75.

"Oh, my God, she used to be this beautiful girl. She used to be perfect. I wondered if she was the same girl," Bhagat said as the woman frowned.

Smooooooooooooth, Bhagat.