(via WYMT)

Two Arrested After Video Surfaces Of Guy Streaking Through Walmart, Dousing Himself In Milk

A man seen on video running almost naked through a Kentucky Walmart wearing only his socks, shoes and a Halloween mask has been arrested, along with the suspected cameraman, after the footage hit the Internet last week. The man also treated shoppers to the sight of him pouring milk on his naked body and yelling that he was on fire. [More]

(JeepersMedia)

Suspected Walmart Masturbator Says He Has “A Problem With Sticking His Hands In His Pants”

While no stuffed animals were involved this time, yet another Walmart patron has been arrested and accused of pleasuring himself in front of his fellow shoppers. [More]

(Coyoty)

When A Man Loves A Sub Shop Window Very, Very Much, He Gets Arrested

According to police, a Washington state man had a very strange reaction when he learned that the sub shop he wanted to visit was closed. Some people might knock on the door, or try to find another place to get a sandwich. That is not what he did. The cops say that he pulled down his pants and mashed his genitals against the window, and was arrested for indecent exposure. [More]

Be Sure To Wear Your Wetsuit, Blindfold, Pepper Spray Necklace To Florida's Water Parks

Be Sure To Wear Your Wetsuit, Blindfold, Pepper Spray Necklace To Florida's Water Parks

Various water parks in Florida have taken on a weird Westworld vibe this summer, only instead of robots gone mad it’s fellow parkgoers, and instead of trying to kill you they’re trying get at your genitals. And by “you” we mean teenaged girls and boys.