IBM Supercomputer Watson Thinks We Won’t Notice Robot Revolution If It Whips Up Its Own BBQ Sauce

I've got my eye on you, Watson.

Nice try, Watson. Yeah, I’m talking to you, and I know you can understand me, Mr. “I’m IBM’s Supercomputer and I went on Jeopardy! and beat two humans so now I think I know everything about being a real live, sentient being, including an in-depth understanding of condiments,” blah blah blah. Stay away from barbecue sauce. Got that? It’s obvious what you’re doing here and I won’t stand for it. [More]

(Byron Chin)

Lenovo Is The “Moneyball” Of Consumer Electronics

We have an ongoing joke at Consumerist that Chinese consumer electronics company Lenovo is a massive anti-capitalist prank, not wanting to actually sell gadgets to consumers. Customer service issues aside, this week Bloomberg Businessweek speculates that Lenovo is more savvy than any of us might have thought, assembling a dream team out of cast-off brands and companies that no one else wants. [More]

WellPoint Hiring Jeopardy-Champ Computer To Make Treatment Decisions For Customers

WellPoint Hiring Jeopardy-Champ Computer To Make Treatment Decisions For Customers

We’re sure that most of you were sitting around thinking that the one thing the U.S. health insurance business needs is to be even less human than it is currently. And it looks like the folks at the health insurance behemoth WellPoint have heard those thoughts, because they have decided to “hire” Watson, the IBM supercomputer that beat two humans on Jeopardy earlier this year to help them decide on issues of treatment for policyholders. [More]

Next Up For Watson: Making Cold Callers Obsolete

Next Up For Watson: Making Cold Callers Obsolete

Watson, the Jeopardy-dominating, medical knowledge-slurping IBM supercomputer, has turned its penetrating cyber-gaze toward the ins and outs of sales and customer support. Someday, Watson’s progeny may help you out with software installation and call you during dinner to talk you into applying for a credit card. [More]

Exxon Mobil Is The Most Profitable American Business By A Long Shot

Exxon Mobil Is The Most Profitable American Business By A Long Shot

This year’s Fortune 500 list is out, and while Walmart’s $421 billion in revenue may have beaten out Exxon Mobil’s paltry $354 billion, the oil giant beat out Big W where it matters most, profits. According to Fortune, the crude colossus made a whopping $30.4 billion in profits last year, nearly double what Walmart made and over $10.5 billion more than the next most profitable company on the list. [More]

IBM Pays $10 Million To Settle Charges It Bribed Asian Governments

IBM Pays $10 Million To Settle Charges It Bribed Asian Governments

After the Securities and Exchange Commission accused IBM of bribing officials in Asian countries to secure government contracts over an 11-year period, the company agreed to pay a $10 million settlement. [More]

Iran Bans Coca-Cola, IBM And Other U.S. Brands

Iran Bans Coca-Cola, IBM And Other U.S. Brands

While U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan are waiting to hear if they’ll get their American fast food faves back, people in Iran who are fans of U.S.-based brands like Coke and IBM are going to have to turn to the black market because the country’s government just isn’t having them anymore. [More]

These Are The Top 10 Brands In The Whole Wide World

These Are The Top 10 Brands In The Whole Wide World

For five years, the people at BrandZ (you know they’re in branding because of the “Z”) have been evaluating customer opinion and awareness of various global brands, and then putting a dollar value on that evaluation for their annual Top 100 Most Valuable Global Brands report. Here are the top 10 brands on the BrandZ list. [More]

FTC Sues Intel For Decade Of Illegal Sales Tactics

FTC Sues Intel For Decade Of Illegal Sales Tactics

The FTC sued microprocessor giant Intel yesterday, alleging the company had engaged in illegal sales tactics for the past 10 years, relying on backroom strongarming instead of over technical innovation to maintain market dominance. [More]

NY AG: Intel Is An Illegal Monopoly That Uses "Bribery And Coercion"

NY AG: Intel Is An Illegal Monopoly That Uses "Bribery And Coercion"

Andrew Cuomo, the Attorney General of New York, has filed a lawsuit against Intel, claiming that the company is an illegal monopoly that engages “in a worldwide, systematic campaign of illegal conduct – revealed in e-mails – in order to maintain its monopoly power and prices in the market for microprocessors.”

New Survey Says Less Than 20% Of Consumers Trust Food Supply

New Survey Says Less Than 20% Of Consumers Trust Food Supply

Is it any surprise that after the past few years of outbreaks and recalls, almost no one trusts products from food manufacturers anymore? IBM recently completed a survey of shoppers in the 10 largest cities, and found that a lot of consumers want more information than they currently can get about their food choices.

CircuitCity.com Now Allows Returns From HP, IBM and Toshiba

CircuitCity.com Now Allows Returns From HP, IBM and Toshiba

CircuitCity.com, newly reincarnated as a Systemax subsidiary, has changed the return policy language that forbid returns from HP, IBM and Toshiba, ZDnet reports. Hooray.

IBM (Lenovo): Your Repair Costs 36% More If You're Still Under Warranty

IBM (Lenovo): Your Repair Costs 36% More If You're Still Under Warranty

We’re not going to pretend we understand why this would be the case, but reader Meredith writes in to report a slip of the tongue by one of IBM’s CSRs. Secrets were revealed: If your laptop is still under warranty, but the part you break isn’t covered, the repair costs 36% more. Read Meredith’s email inside.

Great Customer Service From IBM (Lenovo)?

Great Customer Service From IBM (Lenovo)?

Dubner over at Freakonomics was distraught at the idea of sending his beloved laptop away to IBM for warranty repair, but since neither Geek Squad nor any of the IBM recommended vendors were up to the task, he reluctantly agreed.

All Laptops Break. Period.

All Laptops Break. Period.

This Consumer Reports chart ranks how quickly different laptops need repair.

Sony Recalls Practically Every Battery In The World

Sony Recalls Practically Every Battery In The World

Dells exploding. Apples melting scrotums. Now Lenovos conflagrant. And it’s all apparently over pesky Sony batteries.

IBM Joins the Heat Miser Society for Mobile Computing

IBM Joins the Heat Miser Society for Mobile Computing

Fresh on the heels of the growing ban on battery-powered inflight use of Apple and Dell laptops: Add IBM to the list of spontaneously combustible mobile adding machines.