Consumerist: Hilarious

Walmart Sells You An Empty Box Instead Of A Laptop — But You Bought It With Stolen Credit Cards

Meg Marco — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 18:31:20 EDT

You know how sometimes in football both teams will screw up on the same play and the penalties will offset? We've just found the fraud version of that situation. Three men brought a laptop computer box to Walmart and said that they'd been sold an empty box. Walmart thought they were being scammed, so they called the police. That's when all hell broke loose.

When the police arrived on the scene, one of the three men ran away, dropping credit cards on the ground. It turns out that these credit cards were fakes encoded with real stolen credit card numbers. The men were arrested and there's now an ongoing investigation as to the origin of the numbers... but here's the hilarious part — Walmart actually did sell these guys an empty box instead of a laptop.

The AP says:

The counterfeit credit cards were encoded with valid stolen credit card numbers and police say an investigation is ongoing to identify the account holders.

Store employees later discovered they had indeed sold an empty box to the three men.

Walmart Busts Three Men for Fraud After Accidentally Selling Them Empty Computer Boxes [Fox News] (Thanks, Tom!)
(AP Photo/Chris O'Meara, File)

Men in Walmart Smocks Steal $300,000 in Cash

Meg Marco — Mon, 04 Dec 2006 13:19:04 EST

From WFMZ, Eastern Pennsylvania:

"Police are hunting for some big time thieves this morning in Philadelphia. Two armed men robbed a Northeast Philadelphia Wal-Mart Sunday morning. It happened shortly after 2 a.m. at the store on Roosevelt Boulevard. The suspects were wearing Walmart smocks. They made their way into the store, forced a manager into a safe and duct taped another employee before fleeing with about $300,000 in cash. No one was injured."

Who knew there was $300,000 in cash in a Walmart? —MEGHANN MARCO

Men Wearing Walmart Smocks Rob Store of $300,000 [69News, WFMZ]

Free Doritos In North Carolina

Meg Marco — Thu, 30 Nov 2006 19:39:16 EST

"A cargo container that apparently fell from a ship washed up on the Outer Banks of North Carolina today and spilled thousands of bags of Doritos brand tortilla chips on the beach. Scavengers collected the chips, which were apparently still fresh due to their airtight packaging. It was unknown which ship had lost the cargo or to what port it was bound."

We know if this happened near us we'd get stuck with Cool Ranch. Blech. —MEGHANN MARCO

Spilled Doritos chips wash up on Outer Banks [Pilot online]

Wii Breaks More TVs than Elvis

Meg Marco — Thu, 30 Nov 2006 14:40:44 EST

Carbon nanotubes have one of the highest tensile strengths of any material known to man, which is how we know that the Wii wrist strap is not made of them. The Wii strap has been breaking at inopportune times all over the country since the Wii's release in mid-November—and the results have been disastrous enough to warrant a few news stories and at least one blog dedicated to documenting the destruction. Because after you've bounced a video game controller off your laptop and into your brand new plasma tv—you're going to take a picture. And we're going to laugh. In all seriousness, Nintendo might have a little problem on its hands if these "accidents" are caused by a faulty wrist strap. May we suggest Kevlar next time?—MEGHANN MARCO

Wii Have A Problem
Did Wii Break Your TV [Yahoo!]

Man Hides in Furniture Box; Steals $80,000 from Kmart

Meg Marco — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 18:57:37 EST

Introducing our new favorite alleged thief, Greg G. Giannotta. Our buddy Greg, "hid inside a furniture box at Kmart until closing time and, according to police, swept the jewelry department nearly clean of merchandise."

According to the Home News Tribune (of Central New Jersey):

"Giannotta went into the store about 8 p.m. Sunday, shoplifted tools for the burglary, a duffle bag and a full set of clothing to change into.He then went to the furniture department and hid in the box, waiting for the store to close. Sometime around midnight,Giannotta changed into the shoplifted clothes, emerged from the box and went to the jewelry section.

With employees still working in the store, Giannotta pried open the jewelry cases and loaded his duffle bag with gold and assorted jewelry.

An employee yelled for the manager to call 911, and Giannotta fled."

Nearby police saw Giannotta running through the Kmart parking lot, where he was apprehended. Our question: So how much does $80,000 worth of Kmart jewelry weigh? 150lbs? 300lbs? No wonder the poor bastard got caught. He'd have been better off stealing 50lb bags of kitty litter. —MEGHANN MARCO

Man hides in box, robs Kmart of $80,000 in goods [Home News Tribune]