Carve Your Pumpkin, Not Your Hands

Halloween is supposed to be a scary holiday and all, but the reason for the terror should not be “I severed an artery while carving the whiskers on my cat o’lantern.” You can create beautiful hollowed-out gourds without harming yourself or your family, whether it’s with the tools you already have in your knife drawer or with a special pumpkin-carving kit. [More]

Create Your Own Hideous Jack O’Lantern Pizza Abominations At Home Thanks To Papa Murphy’s

Create Your Own Hideous Jack O’Lantern Pizza Abominations At Home Thanks To Papa Murphy’s

Papa Murphy’s is a chain where you pick up your pizza, then take it home and bake it yourself. If this seems like it is beside the point of getting takeout pizza, well, maybe it is. In the case of their jack o’lantern pizza, though, it might be secretly brilliant, since it puts responsibility for screwing up the pepperoni happy face squarely on the pizza-baking consumer. [More]

We Will Pretend These Nightmares Before Christmas Are Intentional

We Will Pretend These Nightmares Before Christmas Are Intentional

Maybe this “Nightmare Before Christmas” holiday mashup thing is becoming more popular in retail decor. It’s starting to grow on us, we have to admit. Maybe this should continue to be a thing, like Hobby Lobby’s Halloween trees. [More]

July 29, 2013

Here’s One Reason Why You Can Buy Plastic Skeletons In July

Reader Caiyyd wants to point something out regarding the Halloween Creep phenomenon that might make you feel better when you see plastic skeletons in July. Those decorations aren’t really for civilians: they’re for professional or semi-pro creators of haunted attractions. [More]

July 29, 2013

Halloween Started Creeping Up On Us In July

“Halloween Creep,” observes reader Jay. “It almost sounds like a dance some ghouls might do after the Monster Mash.” That’s not what the Halloween Creep is, though. It would be so much better if it were. Instead, it’s what happens when Consumerist readers are out enjoying their summer and stop in their tracks when they see Halloween merch out on store shelves. [More]

Why is the candy always gone?

CVS Skips Half-Price Halloween Candy, Goes Right To Full-On Christmas

Children trick-or-treat to get their Halloween sugar fix, but grown-ups know that November 1st is the day when we clean up, hitting half-price holiday-branded candy sales. That’s what Justin tried to do, and he was horrified when he stopped by CVS to hit the half-price sale and found only Santas and reindeer, as far as the eye could see. Or at least in the seasonal aisle. [More]

(seamonkey mags)

Kids Will Gorge Themselves On Anywhere From 3,500 To 7,000 Calories This Halloween

When you’re a kid at Halloween it’s like, “Calories? What’s a calorie? Sounds boring. I’m going to put more Reese’s in my mouth now.” Even if kids aren’t aware of what they’re ingesting, the reality is there’s a lot going into their young systems: The average child will eat 3,500 to 7,000 calories worth of treats on Halloween night. That explains the sugar-fueled laps I used to run around our house after trick-or-treating. [More]

(connors-cigarette-fail.tumblr via BuzzFeed)

The World Needs More People Like This Walmart Candy Sorter

The next time you’re shoulder deep in a big box store bargain bin, you can think about this guy and wish that he’d make an appearance. [More]

Happy Halloweenie!

The Wienermobile Is Decorated For Halloweenie And Kind Of Creepy

Admit it: almost everyone, even if they eschew processed meats, likes the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. Sure, it’s a rolling advertisement, but so are most of the things we remember fondly from childhood. But when the motorized meat product rolled into my city, it was decked out for Halloween. That, combined with the weather that’s still cloudy and gloomy, makes the Weinermobile surprisingly creepy. [More]

(Paxton Holley)

Turns Out Dressing Up Pot As 640 Lollipops For Halloween Doesn’t Fool The Cops

College students often treat Halloween as a very special rite of passage — the kind that involves scraps of fabric called “costumes” and throwing raging parties to celebrate All Hallow’s Eve. We’ll tell you something, kids: Cops are wise to the fact that you love getting nutty on this holiday, so trying to disguise marijuana as simply 640 regular lollipops is not the cleverest of ruses. [More]


How To Treat Your Car Before It Gets Tricked With Messy Stuff This Halloween

Kids these days! Or actually, kids from any days! For them, Halloween is a time of candy and mischief-making. And by mischief we mean, tossing eggs, Silly String or pumpkins at your car and then hooting with glee as they dash back into the night. If you want to make it easier on yourself the day after Halloween, there are a few tips you can use to prepare your car before the onslaught. [More]

Perhaps You Would Like To Dress As A Sexy Banned Boozy Beverage For Halloween

Perhaps You Would Like To Dress As A Sexy Banned Boozy Beverage For Halloween

Banned party fuel Four Loko may now lack caffeine, but that doesn’t mean it’s left the public consciousness. Witness this Halloween costume: a can of Four Loko. A sexy can of Four Loko. [More]


Sesame Street Issues Cease & Desist To Sellers Of Sexy Big Bird Outfits Because That’s Just Wrong

Let’s not get into the whole “why do women (and some men!) always feel the need to sexify Halloween costumes and turn otherwise innocent outfits into slutty ones?” thing. But Sexy Big Bird? That won’t fly with Sesame Street Workshop, and it’s cracking down on all those illicit costume peddlers by issuing a cease and desist to a site selling costumes like “”Exclusive Yellow Dress and Stockings” with a Big Bird headpiece that was licensed to another company. [More]

U.S. Customs & Border Patrol

Seized Pirate Costumes Rendered Decidedly Scarier Due To High Levels Of Lead

Attention, Halloween lovers: While you might want to be perceived as dangerous  this Halloween, there are some costumes that are so dangerous they’re actually harmful to your health. Shipments of pirate costumes coming from China were recently seized by authorities because they contained high levels of lead. The better to sink you with when you walk the plank, perhaps, but not so great for your health. [More]

Sorry, Plus-Size Women: You’re Too Fat To Dress As Fat Disney Character For Halloween

Sorry, Plus-Size Women: You’re Too Fat To Dress As Fat Disney Character For Halloween

I always loved Disney villain Ursula, the portly six-legged sea-witch who swaps the Litte Mermaid’s tail for a pair of legs in return for her lovely singing voice. And you’d think that dressing up as Ursula, or as the inevitable “sexy” Halloween version of Ursula, would be an option for women who are actually shaped like the character. Nope, not so fast! [More]


Is DIY Halloween Over? Consumers Expected To Shell Out $8 Billion On The Holiday This Year

The days of hobbling together a DIY Halloween costume made from oddly-cut pieces of felt, an overabundance of hot glue that ends up sticking the wrong things together and an old slip are over! While some proficient crafters are probably much more talented than that, a new report says consumers are gonna be all about splashing out on all things Halloween-y this year. [More]

The Nightmare Before Christmas: Real-Life Edition

Target’s Accidental Nightmare Before Christmas Looks Kind Of Cool

We would like to take a moment to salute whoever put together this display at an unknown, unnamed Target store. Even if it’s just the angle from which our tipster Ken took the photo, this display takes the “Nightmare Before Christmas” absurdity of hauling Christmas merchandise out in late summer and makes it kind of beautiful and almost make sense. [More]

Candy Corn Oreos Are Here: They Pretty Much Taste Like Frosting

Candy Corn Oreos Are Here: They Pretty Much Taste Like Frosting

Our apologies to the readers who want us Consumerist editors to taste-test things: we’re all currently on a strict diet of only Doritos Loco Tacos and Mexican Coke. So we’re sadly unable to run to Target and get a package of their exclusive candy corn flavored Oreos today. Our friends over at Foodbeast got their hands on a package of the seasonal treats last week, though, and their verdict is in. If you like candy corn, you’ll be disappointed. If you like sugar; well, then you’re probably living in the right country, and these cookies are for you. [More]