Initially, the owner, going by the handle "f3rr37" speculated in an online forum that the gun had fired "out of battery," which is when the weapon fires and the slide or bolt is not fully closed and all sorts of parts of the gun going flying in the wrong directions. After he sent the gun back, FNH found that the gun failed because the owner used "reloaded ammo," bullets ammo that he packed himself rather than using factory issued ones. In this case, he packed the bullet with double the amount of necessary powder. The owner says he accepts these findings. Despite the maker's initial lack of followthrough when f3rr37 tried to escalate the issue through normal channels, FNH eventually sent him a brand new gun free of charge after he sent the busted one back. The uproar f3rr37's story created in online forums may have helped spur them to action quicker.

Lessons:

1) Don't make and shoot your own bullets unless you really really really know what you're doing
2) Don't ignore your customers on the phone or you'll have to end up doing your customer service online before a public audience.

Below, the official report by the manufacturer on why the gun failed:

DANGER CAUSED BY RELOADED AMMUNITION!

Subject: Five-seveN serial # 386102425

Date: 6-9-2008

The following conclusions are results from FNH USA's evaluation of the Five-seveN serial # 386102425 sent in to our service facility after a failure using reloaded ammunition.

Upon examination of this pistol we were able to determine that it did not fire "out of battery" and the catastrophic failure exhibited in this example was clearly caused by excessive cartridge pressure generated by reloaded ammunition.

Our examination showed that the shoulder of the case was separated from the rest of the cartridge and it was left in place inside the chamber. The position of this piece of brass shows that the handgun was in full battery when the reloaded cartridge was fire and the excessive pressure occurred. Another indicator that confirmed our findings is the primer extruded back into the firing pin hole and a portion of the case head was stuck to the breech face. This was caused by brass flow back into the leaded chamber indicator hole.

Additionally there was serious damage to the slide assembly which is clear evidence of excessive pressure. The lower edge of the breech face was peeled away and the slide itself was deformed from the excessive pressure. The pressure that caused this damage exceeded OEM ammunition standards.

The FN ballistics laboratory was able to duplicate the catastrophic failure almost identically with 2x the load data provided by the consumer. In this test the shoulder of the cartridge was left in the chamber at the same position as #386102425, the slide was damaged in the exact same way as #386102425, and the cartridge case head seperated in the same manner with the brass flowing into the loaded chamber indicator hole.

The design of the Five-seveN pistol, being a recoil operated delayed blow back system, has key parameters that prevent an "out of battery" firing.

Our established testing data indicates the firing pin will not strike the primer of a cartridge after .1180 inch. of rearward slide travel. With the slide moved rearward .1540 - .1545 inch. (true out of battery limit), it is impossible for the firing pin to strike the primer, at this point the trigger lever does not actuate the lever of the firing pin safety. It was also noted in our examination that the firing pin safety was still fully functional on Five-seveN #386102425.

It is FNH USA's finding that the catastrophic failure of Five-seveN #38610xxxx was due completely to excessive pressure caused by the reloaded ammunition and was not the result of an "out of battery" firing.

Please be aware that the owner's manual for the Five-SeveN handgun clearly states on page 4 that FN Herstal declines any responsibility and invalidates any guarantee and liability claims for incidental or consequential damages (injuries, loss of property, commercial loss, lost of earnings and profits, ...) resulting in whole ore partly from the use of reloaded ammunition.

If you have lost or misplaced your owners manual please contact our customer service department at 703-288-3500 x122 for a replacement.

Tommy Thacker
Product Manager
FNH USA, LLC.

FN FiveseveN Warning *Picture Heavy* part1 [FiveseveN Forum]

PREVIOUSLY: Five-seveN Gun Blows Up In Owner's Hand, Manufacturer Indifferent

• Take the place of an airline boarding pass.
• Contain personal information about the traveler.
• Be able to monitor the whereabouts of each passenger and his/her luggage.
• Shock the wearer on command, completely immobilizing him/her for several minutes.

Lamperd Less Lethal—oddly, that name doesn't make us confident about either the effectiveness or the safety of their products—has an entertaining instructional video on their site that explains why this is such a great idea. It opens with footage of the planes hitting the WTC towers, just in case you've forgotten, then describes how all the current solutions are ineffective—biometrics can't spot "new" terrorists who aren't in the database, Air Marshalls can inflict friendly fire on nearby passengers, etc. But they've got an answer in the EMD Safety Bracelet! Check out these handy graphics if you don't believe them:

Okay, we doctored that last one, but you know there'd be a technical glitch at some point that turns everyone on the manifest into a herky-jerky bag of twitching muscles. Pretzels everywhere! Plastic drink cups flying! You have to admit, it'd be funny to see (so long as your own EMD Safety Bracelet didn't go off at the same time.)

Lamperd Less Lethal insists that this is a great idea, and that passengers won't mind being figuratively collared like slaves out of a bad sci-fi movie:

Wearing an EMD safety bracelet for a few hours during a flight is a small inconvenience to ensure their safe arrival...many if not most passengers would happily opt for the extra security of the EMD safety bracelet.

We'll admit, it would certainly make it easier for flight attendants to take care of drunks, fashion victims, unruly children, and the occasional masturbator. But if DHS wants to take security this far, why not just anesthetize passengers and load us up on gurneys, where we'll remain blissfully unconscious as we're shipped like freight across the globe? It would be more dignified than wearing a stun bracelet.

"Want some torture with your peanuts?" [Washington Times] (Thanks to Capt Janeway!)
EMD Safety Bracelet video [Lamperd Less Lethal]

A gun exploded in a customer's hands and the manufacturer doesn't seem to care, according to a graphic post by f3rr37 in the FivesevenForums. He wrote, "On the 2nd round I realigned my sights, slowly pulled the trigger, and all hell broke loose. I saw bits and pieces of the top of the slide cover blow. My first reaction was, "Oh crap what just happened." My second reaction was, how are my hands?" F3rr37 sough medical attention and two days later contacted Five-seveN customer support. After a series of followup calls, Five-seveN said they were sending out a pre-paid packing slip for the gun and would inspect it, destroy it, and give f3rr37 a "deep discount" on a new gun. A month later, none of these promises have materialized. F3rr37 thinks the problem with the gun is that it fired "out of battery," and that the problem with Five-seveN is that they just wish he would go away. Which is odd, considering that they are supposed to have a great reputation for being customer friendly. F3rr37 pledges, "Until they make this right, I will never buy another FN product again and will continue to share my experience with what happens when a FiveseveN fires out-of-battery."

FN FiveseveN Warning [FivesevenForum]

UPDATE: F3rr37 reports that Five-seveN has contacted him and promises they're sending a pre-paid packing slip and will be sending him a new handgun free of charge.

A group that trains pilots to carry handguns, the Federal Flight Deck Officers Association, says it will fight the termination. "This was accidental not intentional," Karn told CNN. "This is not the way to treat a long-term pilot."

Group: Pilot whose gun went off will be fired [CNN]
(Photo:zonaphoto)

The screener who didn't notice the gun has been removed from security duty while the TSA investigates, and they insist this was an isolated incident:

We know this is not a systemic problem in that our testing indicates TSOs [Transportation Security Officers] have a very high success rate at finding firearms. Given the high degree of reliability that our TSOs can find even carefully concealed firearms, we are evaluating every aspect of this incident.

Taser International also reported that it had six product liability suits dismissed this past quarter, and in all has had 58 wrongful death or injury suits dropped.

"Taser profits surge on sales of consumer model" [AZCentral.com]
(Image: Taser)

1) Walk around in the parking lot with said toy gun out in the open, uncovered.

2) Return the gun at 4 am.

An unidentified man from El Paso, TX could have used this advice. He caused a panic at his local Walmart, according to the El Paso Times.

The incident began shortly before 4 a.m. at the Cielo Vista Wal-Mart store when someone spotted a man in the parking lot with a gun.

Responding police officers evacuated the store and began a search.

The purported gunman was found and questioned at the scene.

He was released a few minutes later when it was determined that the man was not intending to commit a crime.

Police: Wal-Mart gunman was returning toy gun [El Paso Times]
(Photo:greenmelinda)

According to the Union-Tribune in San Diego, a man tried to return shotgun ammunition to his local Walmart. After he was refused he became enraged and told the employees he would be back to kill them all.

Then the man fired off some shots in the Walmart parking lot. No one was hurt, but witnesses were able to write down the man's license plate number and police located him at his home.

The San Diego SWAT team surrounded the man's mobile home and eventually had to use tear gas to get him to surrender after an 8 hour standoff.

Sorry, scary gun guy. Walmart's return policy on guns and ammo is clear: All sales are final. It pays to read the signs.

Santee SWAT standoff ends with arrest [Union-Tribune] (Thanks, jpac!)
(Photo:crawfishpie)

In the late 80s and 90s, I'd fall asleep with the TV on and his commercials would wake me up with the gunfire in the beginning. Scared the hell out of me.

He's got everything you'd expect from a sleazy gun dealer - bright smile, slicked hair, cheesy slogan ("I don't want to make any money, I just love to sell guns.")

If you'd like to nominate a commercial for "Great Moments in Commercial History," send an email to us at tips [at] consumerist [dot] com. If you've already nominated one, don't fret. We're working on it. —MEGHANN MARCO

A "weapons" is defined as a rifle, shotgun, pistol, airgun, and STARTER PISTOL. Yes, starter pistols - those little guns that fire blanks at track and swim meets - are considered weapons...and do NOT have to be registered in any state in the United States.

I have a starter pistol for all my cases. All I have to do upon check-in is tell the airline ticket agent that I have a weapon to declare...I'm given a little card to sign, the card is put in the case, the case is given to a TSA official who takes my key and locks the case, and gives my key back to me.

That's the procedure. The case is extra-tracked...TSA does not want to lose a weapons case. This reduces the chance of the case being lost to virtually zero.

Here's one you can buy for $25.99. 26 bucks is a great investment to make to avoid a lifetime of lost luggage hassles.

Expensive Cameras in Checked Luggage [Schneier.com]

At least that's what the security screeners at Manchester Airport in the UK seem to think. "They told him the two pistols on the front could constitute a security risk and upset passengers." Passenger Dave Osborne (pictured) was required to turn his shirt inside out before being allowed to board a flight to the US.

Guns don't kill people, shirts with pictures of guns do.

A similarly idiotic case took place a few weeks ago within the US, when JetBlue bought Raed Jarrar a New York souvenir t-shirt, because his own shirt that read "We will not be silenced" in English and Arabic was deemed too dangerous for JetBlue's apparently overly sensitive passengers.

Dave Osborne should have taken Raed Jarrar's case to heart and asked for a free shirt. Like a high-stakes version of "What Not to Wear," you can build a complete new wardrobe if you travel enough.

Read the Oozinator thread to see why we cream over this Super Soaker squirt gun.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-
Item Subtotal: $24.99
Shipping & Handling: $7.94

Sales Tax: $2.76

Total: $35.69

Just you wait, kiddies, we're gonna have some fun. By that, we mean hardcore, probing, undercover investigative journalism to determine how far it shoots, its volume and capacity, how well it holds up to other squirt guns, both ooze and traditional variety. Hell, we should probably try to pitch it to Consumer Reports. Covered in ooze.

In Livingston, LA. a motorist pumped $36.50 worth of gas. Not being able to pay for it, he got into a fight with the gas station owner, which eventually lead to him driving off. At which point the owner rushed out and started shooting at the fleeing vehicle with a shotgun, exploding both of the rear tires. His second shot was fired after the fleeing gas thief pulled the car back into the lot... the opposite direction one should be heading when someone is firing a gun in your direction.

Both men were arrested: the owner for shooting, the consumer for stealing 30 bucks worth of gas. Make sure you guys keep your credit cards this weekend.

Man Fails to Pay for Gas; Owner Shoots [My Way]

If you've ever wanted to kill someone for yakking on their cellphone, watch out. They may be packing heat.

NYC Police have been alerted to be on the lookout for guns disguised as cellphones. They fire .22 caliber bullets when the numbers 4,5,6, and 7 are pressed.
"Law-enforcement agencies overseas have reported the recovery of several caches of .22-caliber handguns disguised as cellular phones," notes an internal NYPD Operation Order. Cops have been told to use "extreme caution" handling cellphones when they search suspects, and that "This gun is very difficult to detect visually."

According to the Post, .22 users,

"...range from Navy SEALs - who favor the Ruger MKII model - to Mafia assassins, who appreciate the way a .22 round has enough penetrating power to enter someone's skull without exiting, causing maximum brain damage when fired at close range."

As Animal notes: "Even with their numerous differences, its nice to see the government and the mob finding some common ground, in this case, the best techniques for murdering effectively."

Considering how well-traveled the internet clip is and how many years warnings of the gun have circulated throughout the enforcement industry, it's wonderful the NYPD are just now getting the 'heads up.'

Using the power of Google cache we uncovered some but many were missing like the special personal publications hidden behind the bed after our mom cleaned our room. Woe.

Thankfully, reader Tralfamador is handier at search engine manipulation and he scraped out more of the missing reviews from the sticky crevices they'd been secreted.

Read the taint, after the jump...

Here's what customers said about the Oozinator, at least until Amazon removed the reviews this week.

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"1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

= Durability = Fun = Educational = Overall
Ooz or Lose!, May 4, 2006
Reviewer: Ima Retard "Ima" (USA) - See all my reviews

I'm not sure if any one else is having this problem with their Oozinator but mine developed sores and started to flake. It also started to turn redish and became itchy to hold. I usually pump my Oozinator with much force while tightening the belt around my neck but now it just hurts to hold the Oozinator. I asked my wives if it seemed a little odd looking and they had a conserned look on there 13 year old faces. My Oozinator usually shoots out the 10 ounces of Goo its supose to, but now it sprays a vibrant red mist wich is starting to concern me. So I went to Toys-R-Us where I first discovered the Oozinator in the kids area and ask the clerk if they could check my Oozinator. I wipped it out and 3 employees vomited at the site. I never got my money back and am now righting from a prison cell. Good news is my cell-mate loves my Oozinator and I cry my self to sleep.....thank you Oozinator!?"

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amazon.com product review quotes:

I swear half of the reviews on Amazon were made to be full of innuendo. That's horrible.

"Downside- All the pumping and excitement really tuckers you out for about half an hour after you use it, but before long you're all set to give'er another go even if your tank is running low!"

"Use a microwave oven to warm the goo up before you load it into the oozinator for an even more fun time "

"if you ever run out, you can just fill it up with more! all the kids in the neighborhood will come, and play with you!"

"One of the best innovations in group fun since the sleepover. I tested this toy out with some of my best girlfriends, and they all enjoyed being splattered with ooze. The only downside is your hand gets a might tired after pumping your gun during long durations, so be sure to have a friend to help you pump it out. Once I had pretended the gun was stuck, and had my friend pump it while the nozzle was pointed at her face. She gave it a cock and was disdained to find her face covered in ooze! Some got in her mouth and she choked on it, she swallowed some but said it tasted kinda salty. I wouldn't recomment swallowing it, but it's non-toxic, so it won't kill you to try."

"This toy is outstanding. I bought one at Fascinations Adult Store. You can refill the cartridges by yourself if desired. The first batch of goo that came with it was not warm or salty, but I've since corrected that problem."

"This toy is wonderful! I love spraying all the neighborhood boys with my bio-ooze. This toy shoots for quite a distance and the tank holds quite a sticky load. We laugh and play then afterwards we go in the back and get the boys all cleaned up."

"I just love hosing down the neighborhood kids with my bio goo. Thank god this toy came around. It's so much easier to save up your bio goo rather than running around with your pants down if ya know what I mean"

"especially effective on neighborhood girls"

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-NO DATE-
My uncle who got me the Oozinator always wants me to ooze all over my own face over and over while he records it with his new handy-cam... Sometimes he likes me to hit myself in the face with it. I wish i never got this stupid oozinator now. I am confused.

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Fun with all the boys, April 30, 2006
Reviewer: Father O'Mally (Boston) - See all my reviews
This toy is wonderful! I love spraying all the neighborhood boys with my bio-ooze. This toy shoots for quite a distance and the tank holds quite a sticky load. We laugh and play then afterwards we go in the back and get the boys all cleaned up.

Was this review helpful to you?

*****************************************************************

"4 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

= Durability = Fun = Educational = Overall
I love my GUN, May 2, 2006
Reviewer: Robert K. Lancaster - See all my reviews

I love my gun, however i have discovered a potential problem for others. My big problem is my Wife. She never lets me shoot it inside. She is always saying "take it out, take it out" I tried telling her that for some reason it just feels better to shoot it inside. She says it makes a big mess. I asked her if there is anyway to compromise on this and we came up with an awsome idea. In stead of shooting it inside she is willing to let me spray the warm good anywhere outside it want. So yesterday afternoon I tackled her to the ground and shot the warm sticky goo all over the small of her back. Gotta love the GOO! "

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" = Durability = Fun = Educational = Overall
Ooze just shoots too quickly, May 4, 2006
Reviewer: Harold Carroll (Richmond, KY) - See all my reviews

As much fun as this toy is while it lasts, it does indeed tend to shoot the ooze much quicker than I would want. It's good for me but my partners don't enjoy it. "

" = Durability = Fun = Educational = Overall

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Make sure to lock your door, May 4, 2006
A Kid's Review
My parents are strongly against playing with my oozinator alone, they want me to know a someone first and WAIT a while till I can use my oozinator. I thought this was stupid so I often lock my door and play with my oozinator alone. I also get with my buddies and friends, and we play with our oozinators together when we leave the house. And sometimes, we get on the computer or read magazines to help us learn how to shoot ooze better

Afterwards, we go around, oozing everyone in town. Everyone loves our ooze! They also like the gun, and often want to play with it too! We're nice, so we often let them ooze us, too.. BUT MAKE SURE YOUR PARENTS DON'T CATCH YOU PLAYING WITH YOUR OOZINATOR. They say it's unnatural, but we just want to have fun!"

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Previously:

• Oozinator's Origins, Revealed!
  
• The Oozinator Squirts Its Way Into Our Hearts
  
• The Oozinator Delights Children

The company tapped into its mythos as the makers of the ultimate giant man gun and created an artifact fulfilling its own legend: the Model 500. A big bore revolver with three times the muzzle power of Dirty Harry's .44 Magnum, the Model 500 features, "a jarring recoil that even expert shooters aren't always prepared to handle," reports Slate.

One of these puppies costs around $1000, available at finer stores everywhere in the U.S. of A.

"Big Guns: The wild success of a massive Smith & Wesson revolver" [Slate]

DODK911 carries a Beretta 92F on duty and a Tourus PT111 off-duty. CampusOfficer's on-duty gun, until it was taken away, was a .40 caliber Glock 27. Off-duty he prefers a .40 Caliber H-K USP compact.

The reasons for carrying vary. Some report wanting to be prepared when they pick up their teenage daughter from the train station. Others read about an unarmed off-duty cop being shot during a convenience story robbery after being verbally called out by the store clerk. Sempergumby says he "Would rather carry and not need it. Its just that simple for me."

"Carry Weapon Off Duty?" [MassCops]

Hasbro Marketing Executive, a glowing light bulb bouncing merrily above his skull: "I've got it! First, we'll design our new Supersoaker water gun with the shape and hue of a grotesque alien phallus. Then, instead of water, we'll make it squirt ropes of thick, opalescent ooze! Finally, we'll market it with a television spot in which a pan-ethnic rainbow of small children are the gleeful recipients to load after hot, sticky load shot all over their chests and faces! It's a win!"

Even the Oozinator sounds like someone's pet name for their masculinity... post venereal disease. Thanks, Joel!

UPDATE: There were some damn funny Amazon review pages of the product that have since been deleted. have been deleted. We've got a few archived here.

Oh wait, you didn't know they didn't?

Security analyst Bruce Schneier writes:

"It seems like every time someone tests airport security, airport security fails. In tests between November 2001 and February 2002, screeners missed 70 percent of knives, 30 percent of guns and 60 percent of (fake) bombs. And recently (see also this), testers were able to smuggle bomb-making parts through airport security in 21 of 21 attempts. It makes you wonder why we're all putting our laptops in a separate bin and taking off our shoes. (Although we should all be glad that Richard Reid wasn't the "underwear bomber.")

"Break up something into small enough parts, and it's going to slip past the screeners pretty easily."

Ultimately, the author argues for less screening - no more taking off your sticky Keds - and more robots. Read further.

[via BoingBoing]