Don’t Like Your Cruise? Carnival WIll Pay You To Go Home

Don’t Like Your Cruise? Carnival WIll Pay You To Go Home

The 2012 Costa Concordia disaster and the infamous Poop Cruise of the Triumph in February of this year did a lot to hurt the reputation of the cruise industry worldwide. So Carnival has a novel idea: try a cruise, and if you don’t like it within the first day, they’ll pay you to go away. [More]

(ChrisGoldNY)

Here’s Why You Should Always Read The Rules Before Cashing In A Guarantee

Guarantees can be tricky things. If you want to take advantage of a company’s low price guarantee, no matter how widely advertised it is, it’s a good idea to take a minute to read the terms and conditions of that guarantee before taking advantage of it. Even if it’s advertised on TV. Even if you think you know how the guarantee works. Just ask Marc. [More]

Eviction Services says it no longer guarantees homeowners can stay in their houses for at least five months, but it does offer the above "gurantee."

Is A Guarantee Really A Guarantee If It’s A “Gurantee”?

The operators of a company that claims, for an up-front fee of $395 and monthly payments of $395, it can keep foreclosed-upon folks in their homes for several more months may be confused about the meaning, and spelling, of the word “guarantee.” [More]

If You Don't Like VIA, Starbucks Will Send You Some Coffee For Free

If You Don't Like VIA, Starbucks Will Send You Some Coffee For Free

Starbucks really wants you to try its VIA instant coffee, so much so that it will send you a free bag of Starbucks ground coffee if you’re not happy with VIA. [More]

Sorry, Your $80 Brooks Brothers Shirt Is Only Good For Two Years

Sorry, Your $80 Brooks Brothers Shirt Is Only Good For Two Years

The phrase “unconditional guarantee” gives the impression that a product has a guarantee, and that it’s unconditional. B. writes that at Brooks Brothers, “unconditional” seems to mean “as long as you don’t wash or wear articles of clothing.” Is he out of line to expect the company to stand behind frequently worn and laundered items like dress shirts? Or is Brooks Brothers’ use of the word “unconditional” in this situation misleading? [More]

Lenscrafters' Guarantee Is Kind Of Crappy Unless You
Complain To Corporate

Lenscrafters' Guarantee Is Kind Of Crappy Unless You Complain To Corporate

What does it mean to you when you hear that a company “guarantees” a product? Does it mean, “if this thing breaks, we’ll sell you a new one at half price?” Justin tells Consumerist that’s what means at LensCrafters, and he finds that very disappointing. He now refuses to go back there for his glasses in the future. Would you? [More]

Why Aren't Cellphones Under Warranty For The Duration Of Your Contract?

Why Aren't Cellphones Under Warranty For The Duration Of Your Contract?

Adam got a bad iPhone that stopped providing some key functions–he can’t make calls on it, for example–18 months into ownership. He didn’t buy Applecare when he purchased it, which would have covered him during the second year of his contract. But that shouldn’t matter, he argues: “[Why isn't it] incumbent upon a device maker to guarantee a product’s proper function for–at the very least–the length of the contract required at purchase?” [More]

GM's Money Back Guarantee Comes With Lots Of Fine Print

GM's Money Back Guarantee Comes With Lots Of Fine Print

GM’s new 60-day money back guarantee (good through November 30th, 2009) on new car purchases sounds pretty straightforward—if you don’t want the car for any reason (it doesn’t have to be a good reason), you can bring it back. But it has a few rules that you should be aware of before your purchase, notes the Associated Press.

Comcast Guarantees You Will Have Your Entire Day Wasted

Comcast Guarantees You Will Have Your Entire Day Wasted

We’re happy for Comcast that it’s a giant company and all, but is it really that impossible to have someone in Connecticut talk on the phone with a Connecticut-based customer about a no-show installation tech who we presume should also be in Connecticut? Maybe that’s the problem—maybe the technician was accidentally outsourced and is presently driving around Mexico or the Antarctic looking for Karah’s address.

Ryder Refunds Customer $120 For Forcing Him Into U-Haul's Arms

Ryder Refunds Customer $120 For Forcing Him Into U-Haul's Arms

Jesse, who wrote to us last week to complain about Ryder’s broken guarantee, has contacted us again with a follow up. We also spoke with Ryder directly to ask how their “Guaranteed Availability” promise actually works, so that future customers know what to expect.

Ryder's "Guaranteed Availability" Does Not Guarantee Availability

Ryder's "Guaranteed Availability" Does Not Guarantee Availability

If you saw this image on the Ryder website, you might think that it means two things: that they guarantee some sort of vehicle availability to customers, and that they will make sure you are satisfied with your experience. You would be wrong. Update: Ryder has responded to Jesse’s complaint.

Sears: Lose Your Job, Keep Your Purchase, Forget The Debt

Sears: Lose Your Job, Keep Your Purchase, Forget The Debt

Acknowledging that skittish consumers are still unwilling to buy big-ticket items, Sears tomorrow plans to unveil a bold new guarantee: if you lose your job after charging a purchase worth $399 or more to your Sears card, the retailer will credit 1/12th of the purchase price to your account for each month you are unemployed. If you stay jobless for one year, the debt is entirely forgiven, and the appliance is yours to keep.

Host Monster Turns On Customer, Shuts Down Blog Without Warning Or Sensical Explanation

Host Monster Turns On Customer, Shuts Down Blog Without Warning Or Sensical Explanation

Web hosting company Host Monster only has so many SQLs to hand out to people, and can’t go around passing them out willy-nilly. Why, there are probably websites in Africa that don’t have any SQLs. We’re not really sure what “SQL” is but we think it’s used to store blog entries; whatever it is, Joe Posnanski used too much of it. The Kansas City Star/Sports Illustrated reporter upgraded his hosting package a few months ago and was assured by Host Monster that there’d be no problems as his professional blog drew more traffic. “No problems,” except that last Friday they permanently closed his account without warning.

U-Haul Forgets Customer, Forgets Guarantee, Then Forgets Extra Day Agreement And Threatens Criminal Charges

U-Haul Forgets Customer, Forgets Guarantee, Then Forgets Extra Day Agreement And Threatens Criminal Charges

Consumerist reader Dionicious and his brother tried to rent a trailer from U-Haul over the weekend. First they were faced with a closed location, then they had to ask before the company followed through on its $50 “Right Time, Right Location” guarantee. They hoped that was the end of the screw-ups, but the next day an angry employee called and threatened to file criminal charges against the brothers. Too bad there’s not some sort of $50 “We Threaten You, We Pay” guarantee.

Four Reasons Not To Book Your Hotel Room Through A Third-Party Site

Four Reasons Not To Book Your Hotel Room Through A Third-Party Site

You won’t get the best deal booking your hotel room through third-party sites like Expedia or Travelocity, according to an anonymous hospitality industry insider. Inside, four excellent reasons to book directly with a hotel to guarantee the best rooms at the best prices.

How Do I Use My Circuit City Extended Warranty Now?

How Do I Use My Circuit City Extended Warranty Now?

When Circuit City finally went pining for the fjords, we all understood that their extended warranties and service plans would remain in effect. Assurant Solutions, the company servicing these plans, came right out and said so last week (warning: PDF). But the company contracted to service David’s TV said they can’t reach Circuit City for more info on how to handle in-home support calls, so they’re not going to do anything.

Circuit City's "Free Shipping Day" Promise Turns Out To Be Worthless

Circuit City's "Free Shipping Day" Promise Turns Out To Be Worthless

Circuit City promised that if you ordered from them on December 18th, you’d get free shipping and a guarantee that your order would arrive before Christmas. It turns out that promise was worthless, at least for Brandon—or rather, it’s worth exactly $5 in company scrip from Circuit City. (We love apologies that force you to shop at the company that screwed up.) Circuit City’s CSR even says that the December 18th offer doesn’t exist, despite the fact that their logo is still up on the freeshippingday.com website as of today.

Treasury, FDIC Considering Plan To Guarantee Millions Of Mortgages

Treasury, FDIC Considering Plan To Guarantee Millions Of Mortgages

The Washington Post says that the Treasury Department and the FDIC are considering a plan to guarantee millions of mortgages. According to the WaPo, the plan under consideration would encourage lenders to reduce borrowers monthly payments based on the homeowner’s ability to pay. To attract lenders into the program, the government would guarantee to repay the lender for a portion of its loss if the borrower defaulted on the reconfigured loan.