Add Bling To Your Ring

Add Bling To Your Ring

At a certain time, having a cell phone in and of itself was a bold proclamation of wealth and status. Then more trashy people started getting them. “Oh, I’m just standing in line at the bank, talking on my cel-LEE!” some flabby whore would shriek to an invisible stranger on the other end as you stood behind her in line at the very same bank. In a world where cell phone technology is as ubiquitous as the existence of human bovine trailer trash, how is the savvy and opulent consumer supposed to proclaim their status?

Gordon Gekko to Blame for High Gas Prices

Looking for someone to blame for high gas prices? An editorial on the Arizona Republic claims it isn’t fat-cat oil barons taking enemas of sweet crude whilst squatting over solid gold bidets in their fancy European palaces that are jacking up the price of oil: it’s Michael Douglas from Wall Street, trading in hedge funds over his torso-sized army field phone.