We know what that hollow, empty feeling in the center of your chest is. You’re feeling bereft because you don’t own bundles of discarded facial hair, which previously resided on professional baseball players’ faces. It’s your lucky day, since Gillette has decided it’s a great idea to auction off shavings it’s dubbed “beard balls” from Boston Red Sox players David “Big Papi” Ortiz and Shane Victorino. It’s all for charity, but eww. [More]
While here in the States — and in many parts of the world — Gillette is known for pricier devices like its Fusion ProGlide razors that will cost you upwards of $10-11 just for the handle and one blade (and replacement blades costing $2-3 each), the company is attempting to go the opposite route in India, where it is now selling a razor that costs the equivalent of $.34, with replacement blades going for only $.11 each. [More]
Now that Tiger Woods has come out of sex rehab hibernation — if only momentarily — to beg for a bit of forgiveness from the public that once loved him, the question still remains: Will he ever get close to regaining his status as the poster boy for poster boys? [More]
Procter & Gamble has announced that you will pay more for your Tide and Head & Shoulders and all their other consumer products. P&G is raising prices by as much as 16% on “fabric, home and hair care, bar soaps, and health and shaving products.” P&G is the manufacturer of popular brands such as Gillette and Ivory soap.
A couple of weeks ago, I was at Target, and I saw that all of their Mach 3 cartridges were on clearance. As a Mach 3 user, I was kind of concerned as to what was going on. I hoped that they weren’t discontinuing the Mach 3 and Mach 3 turbo and forcing everyone to buy their newest razor.
Chinese officials charged the Zhang brothers with assembling 160,000 fake Gillette Mach 3 razor blades in their home with the help of other family members (and, we imagine, lots of boxes of Band-Aids). The home was raided over a year ago, but apparently the charges have just been officially announced. Unless, of course, this very announcement is a forgery—or tainted with lead!
After a series of inquiring emails, Gillette finally spilled the blood on where they REALLY get their 18-year-old boy list from.
I, Brownlee, may have mentioned this before… but I am a huge fan of Gillette’s multiple-razor initiatives. I can still remember the first time I experienced the Mach 3, like an angel’s tongue lusciously licking the follicles off of my cheek. The next day, I marched into work and, with a word of stern command, began ordering stray co-workers — men, women, it didn’t matter — to caress, nay, fondle my cheeks. “What you’re feeling is very similar to what my ass once felt like as an infant,” I’d confidently assert. If this made my co-workers uncomfortable, it was well hidden by the awe which enraptured them at the touch of my silky-smooth jowls.
Copyranter, a disaffected but unbowed copywriter, has a “nice,” i.e. fanged, review of Gilette’s new Fusion razor, which, in keeping with predictions by The Onion and Mad Magazine, features five blades, 10 microfins, a trimmer, a face-goo strip and an intergalactic sub-atomic ray gun.