(via DesignBoom)

Someone Made A Table Out Of The Pages Of An IKEA Catalog

Have you ever flipped through the IKEA catalog and wished you could order everything you see? (Probably not, but for the sake of this story, let’s just say “maybe.”) Well, that would be impractical and expensive, but there is a way to turn every single page of an IKEA catalog into a working piece of furniture. [More]

For-Profit Online University Lets You Spend ThoughtCoins On Way To Job As Digital Gardener

For-Profit Online University Lets You Spend ThoughtCoins On Way To Job As Digital Gardener

Have you been thinking about enrolling in a for-profit online college that saddles you with thousands of dollars of debt and no job to show for it? Then get ready to spend your ThoughtCoins and ClassPoints at a school that will still take all your money but lets you skip the classwork and guarantees you a job when you graduate. [More]

(Great Beyond)

Popeyes Or Popeye’s? JCPenney Or J.C. Penney? Do You Know The Proper Names Of These Companies?

When we eventually hit the lottery and fulfill our dream of opening the world’s largest chain of Skee Ball parlors, we’re going to name it “Consumerist’s’s’s’s” in honor of all the inexplicably abandoned apostrophes that rightfully belong in retailers’ names but have been left to die by marketing executives or company owners who didn’t want to seem too possessive. [More]

(Amarand Agasi)

Restaurant Offers Free Food In Exchange For Election Campaign Signs

The elections are mercifully over and whatever you think of the outcome, you probably agree that people can’t remove all those unsightly campaign signs quickly enough. So one restaurant chain based in South Carolina is offering free food to customers who help clean up the mess left by the democratic process. [More]

John Oliver: Lowe’s Robot Won’t Keep Couples From Killing Each Other At Hardware Store

John Oliver: Lowe’s Robot Won’t Keep Couples From Killing Each Other At Hardware Store

Last week, Lowe’s unveiled the test of a customer service robot at one of its Orchard Supply stores and we pointed out that it’s really just doing the job Lowe’s should be asking of its employees. What we were remiss in mentioning is the other important aspect of home-improvement store customer service — preventing married couples from murdering each other while shopping. [More]

(Reddit)

This Target Call Of Duty Promo Is Either Not Bad Or Chintziest Thing Ever

The new Call of Duty game comes out next week, and various retailers are doing what they can to lure in buyers. For example, Best Buy and others are putting the game on sale at the exact same time nationwide so that the West Coast doesn’t have to wait hours to gripe about the multiplayer server’s inevitable crash, and Target’s Canadian stores are offering what is either a not-horrible Dorito’s tie-in or the cheapest giveaway we’ve seen in years. [More]

Review Of Dunkin’ Donuts Not-A-Cronut: It’s The Lookalike Pet Parents Buy When Real One Dies

Review Of Dunkin’ Donuts Not-A-Cronut: It’s The Lookalike Pet Parents Buy When Real One Dies

Earlier this week, Dunkin’ Donuts announced that it was jumping on the call-it-anything-but-a-Cronut craze by offering its own croissant/donut hybrid. Alas, the early word from one fan of the original Cronut is not so appetizing. [More]

Can Math Determine Whether Pizza Hut Or Domino’s Is Better?

Can Math Determine Whether Pizza Hut Or Domino’s Is Better?

While some people swear by certain pizza chains, others see little difference between a pie from Domino’s or one from Pizza Hut. At that point, it probably comes down to which offers a better value. So how to determine which one provides more bang for your buck? Perhaps some basic math will suffice. [More]

This Is Probably The Best Pop Song Ever Written About Today’s Failed iOS 8 Update

This Is Probably The Best Pop Song Ever Written About Today’s Failed iOS 8 Update

The songbook of history is filled with countless odes written in response to this morning’s disastrous update to Apple’s iOS 8 operating system, but this one has to be the catchiest of them all. [More]

John Oliver On For-Profit Colleges: You Might As Well Go To Hogwarts

John Oliver On For-Profit Colleges: You Might As Well Go To Hogwarts

What would it look like if you condensed all our hundreds of stories about student loans and for-profit colleges into a profanity-filled, hilarious rant that takes a brief detour to discuss Lyndon Johnson’s scrotum? John Oliver answered that question on Sunday night. [More]

The 1913 report on vice in Portland resulted in this map assigning a different color to varying degrees of immorality at hotels, apartments, and boarding houses.  Click image to enlarge. (via BigThink.com)

101 Years Ago, Someone Mapped The Morals Of Portland, Building-By-Building

Long before there were interactive police blotter maps, or even funny maps labeling neighborhoods with tags like “Yuppies with Puppies” or “Bars You’re Too Old To Go To,” the city of Portland (the one on the upper-left of the map) actually plotted out which rental homes, hotels, and apartment buildings had been investigated and deemed to be “moral,” “immoral,” or “doubtful.” [More]

What's it going to take for Josh Gordon to get you into a new Chevy Malibu today? (Photo: Erik Drost)

Suspended Cleveland Brown Josh Gordon To Spend His Year Off Selling Cars In Ohio

It’s nothing new for an All-Pro NFL player to end up selling cars, but usually that transition from gridiron glory to local businessman happens after the player has retired. Most 23-year-old football superstars are only thinking about buying cars at this point in their careers. Of course, most players don’t find themselves with a full season to kill while serving a suspension from the league. [More]

(via John Hodgman's Instagram)

Company Sends John Hodgman His Order In Box Covered With Photo Of John Hodgman

It’s one thing if you’re a celebrity and you turn on the TV and see your face. That happens. But when ordering something online, even a world-famous uber-celebrity like hunky author, actor, comedian, raconteur, and undercover CIA spy John Hodgman probably expects to receive the same anonymous treatment that the rest of us do. [More]

Your Favorite Horror Icons — Now In IKEA Form

Your Favorite Horror Icons — Now In IKEA Form

While it might seem like Jason Voorhees — the silent, masked killer from the Friday the 13th movies — has a knack for being everywhere at once, you can’t have a mass-produced Jason in every home in America at a reasonable price. Yet. [More]

If You Dream Of Playing Piano While Shucking Clams, We Know A Place That’s Hiring

If You Dream Of Playing Piano While Shucking Clams, We Know A Place That’s Hiring

Did you put yourself through music school by working at a seafood restaurant? Well now you can put both your piano skills and your clam-shucking chops to good use at the same time. [More]

If You’re Going To Follow Shopper Around A Store, Don’t Walk Into Video Of You Following Them

If You’re Going To Follow Shopper Around A Store, Don’t Walk Into Video Of You Following Them

The key to being a stealthy follower is remaining undetected. So if the person you’re following around the convenience store is repeatedly able to catch you on camera behind him, pretending to do busy work, then you need to brush-up on your sneakiness skills. [More]

(source)

Shocker: Those Fake-Looking Fried Chicken Oreos Are Indeed Fake

Given the sheer number of Oreo varieties that have been dumped on store shelves in the past year — from sherbet to peanut butter cup to fruit punch to lemon and limeade — it’s almost not beyond belief that Nabisco would give fried chicken Oreos a go. Almost, but not quite. [More]

Stephen Colbert Upset That Stephen Colbert Books Are Hard To Buy On Amazon

Stephen Colbert Upset That Stephen Colbert Books Are Hard To Buy On Amazon

TV personality Stephen Colbert usually prides himself on unbiased reporting and sticking to the facts (at least the ones that matter to him), but now he’s taken the rare step of putting himself in the middle of the fight between Amazon and publishing biggie Hachette Book Group… mostly because it means his books sales are being affected. [More]