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Yelp Reviewer Gives 1 Star For Restaurant That Hasn't Opened Yet
By Chris Walters on September 1, 2010 10:30 AM
127 Comments
As with any community-sourced online content, Yelp's reviews can vary widely in quality. Still, this may be one of the most ridiculously self-entitled and clueless reviews anyone has ever posted about a restaurant: More »
Mall Security And Suspected Shoplifters Engage In Car Chase
By Chris Walters on August 31, 2010 12:30 PM
52 Comments
Earlier this month, two mall security guards in Montville, NJ, gave chase to a carful of suspected Victoria's Secret shoplifters for six miles. Both vehicles eventually stopped at a liquor store parking lot two towns over, where a real policeman--who at first thought the guards were legit undercover cops--stepped in and started issuing tickets. More »
Cami Secret Is A Fake Camisole You Attach To Your Bra
By Ben Popken on August 30, 2010 1:00 PM
103 Comments
To others, the "Cami Secret" appears to be a camisole, but it's actually a hankie you attach to your bra. More »
Summer's Eve To Ladies: If You Want A Raise, You'd Better Wash Your Hoo Hoo
By Chris Walters on August 30, 2010 8:00 AM
91 Comments
Maybe you thought bizarre "fix your naughty bits!" ads for feminine hygiene only appeared back in your grandparents' era, but no. This Summer's Eve ad from Women's Day magazine says that if you want a raise, one of the first things you can do is shower with "Summer's Eve Feminine Wash," although it might also be a good idea to bring some "cleansing cloths" with you "for a quick freshness pick-me-up" right before you ask the boss for more money. That's all in tip #1; tip #7 says "Don't let the conversation stray or get personal." More »
Stashitware Turns Your Underwear Into A Man Purse
By Chris Walters on August 25, 2010 12:30 PM
90 Comments
Hey guys, do you know what will really sex up a special occasion? First, take off your pants to reveal your enormous crotch bulge. Then reach into your underwear and pull out a 2 liter bottle of Coke. More »
Clothing Care Labels For Dummies
By Ben Popken on August 24, 2010 11:00 AM
54 Comments
For those who can't decipher the hieroglyphs on clothing care labels, now there's one that suggests a helpful alternative. More »
Canon 7D Or Barbie Video Girl: Which Is Better?
By Chris Walters on August 24, 2010 10:30 AM
40 Comments
Sometimes when you're comparison shopping for electronics, it helps to find a fan-made video test that looks at the devices side by side. Luckily for you, if you can't decide whether to buy an $1800 Canon 7D or a $50 Barbie Video Girl, now you've got some help. (Hint: only one of these can be called "the sassiest camera money can buy.") More »
Comic Explains Why AT&T Is Oblivious To Reception Problems
By Ben Popken on August 23, 2010 10:00 AM
44 Comments
It all makes sense now. More »
This Condom Warning Label Arouses Confusion
By Chris Walters on August 23, 2010 8:00 AM
56 Comments
A reader bought this box of condoms from her local Safeway, and she says this sticker was underneath the outer packaging. People be freaky, but is there anyone who would want a raw chicken condom that you have to keep frozen until use? (Meh, probably.) More »
Rap Video Pimps Elizabeth Warren For CFPA Head
By Ben Popken on August 20, 2010 2:00 PM
8 Comments
A lot of folks are rooting for the smart, fierce and uncompromising Elizabeth Warren to head up the new Consumer Financial Protection Agency. And now the cowboy rappers have thrown their 10-gallon hats in the ring. More »
Wetzel's Pretzels Definition Of "Forever" Spawns Wormhole
By Ben Popken on August 18, 2010 2:00 PM
36 Comments
Reader Ben snapped this pic of a sign at Wetzel's Pretzels. It reads, "Strawberry Lemonade FOREVER." Below that, it says, "For A Limited Time". Apparently trying to resolve this paradox is what originally put Stephen Hawking in the wheelchair.
The Secret Life Of The Majestic Plastic Bag
By Ben Popken on August 17, 2010 3:00 PM
26 Comments
Have you ever wished the plastic bag from American Beauty got its own spinoff? Your dream has come true. This is a mock nature documentary narrated by Jeremy Irons that follows "one of the most clever and illustrious creatures: the plastic bag" from its first birthing into the wild all the way to its ultimate home, the Pacific gyre. More »
Mozy Wants To Explain Wireless Internets To You
By Chris Walters on August 16, 2010 12:30 PM
83 Comments
You might think that a company like Mozy, which sells secure online backup services, would be able to troubleshoot common technical issues that are directly related to its business. After all, surely Heather isn't the only customer to have problems with her initial backup hanging for several days in a row. But instead of offering useful assistance, Mozy's tech support person told Heather that the problem was that "wireless internets don't like lots of files flying through the air." Wow, that must really cause problems with Mozy's business model. More »
Pillow Fight Breaks Out On Airplane
By Ben Popken on August 13, 2010 10:00 AM
50 Comments
A pillow fight broke out among tourists sitting in economy on a Lufthansa airplane this summer, and even the flight attendant got in on the action, laughing and tossing out more fluffy ammunition. In the end everyone claps and laughs. Aw! More »
Woman Quits Job By Outing Boss's Farmville Addiction To Staff
By Chris Walters on August 10, 2010 12:15 PM
81 Comments
UPDATE: It appears that this was all a hoax perpetrated by the editors over at thechive.com. More »
Here's The Video Of That Crazy McNugget Lady Who Attacked McDonald's Employees
By Chris Walters on August 10, 2010 10:30 AM
81 Comments
Remember the McDonald's drive-thru customer who went all 28 Days after she was told they'd stopped serving Chicken McNuggets? Obviously a story like this is a hundred times more awesome if you can watch the actual attack, and fortunately for us the security footage of the event is now available. More »
(bgautrea)
Shoplifter Blames Devil
By Chris Walters on August 10, 2010 9:30 AM
21 Comments
A woman caught shoplifting from a Walmart in Cinnaminson, NJ, assaulted the store's loss-prevention officer and drove off, but accidentally left her pocketbook--which contained her driver's license--in the parking lot. She called back later to ask whether they'd found it, and when the police got on the phone she admitted to the shoplifting and assault, but blamed it on the devil. More »
Parents Group Calls Happy Meal Version Of The Human Torch A "Horrifying Spectacle"
By Chris Walters on August 10, 2010 9:00 AM
73 Comments
I'm having trouble telling whether the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood is serious, or whether someone at the organization saw that Venture Brothers episode and got confused, so I'll just describe what they're doing and you can decide for yourselves. The group has launched a letter writing campaign to demand that McDonald's stop giving out Marvel superhero toys, specifically The Thing and The Human Torch, because they're too violent. More »
Geek Squad Will Turn On Your Ebook Device For You For $29.99
By Chris Walters on August 4, 2010 10:30 AM
72 Comments
The best way to understand Geek Squad is to realize that they will help you with anything if it means they can charge you a fee. Want batteries in your remote control? Having trouble putting a USB plug into its port? Need to know the time? OPTIMIZE IT WITH GEEK SQUAD. Those are just solid business ideas and not (yet) actual services, but Geek Squad's real offerings are almost as absurd. For example, Nate from the-digital-reader.com snapped this photo of their newish "eBook Device Setup" service for your Nook or Sony Reader, which promises to turn it on ("provide a functionality check") and show you how to read ("what to expect when you take the device home"). More »
"Weat Paent Man" Sign At Lowe's Makes Reading Fun Again
By Chris Walters on July 26, 2010 9:30 AM
60 Comments
There is a free thinker at the Lowe's in Fort Oglethorpe, GA, who has rejected the system's stifling rules for spelling. Nice penmanship, though. (Thanks to Tim!)
