Marketers had a message for the housewives of the 1950s: they weren’t doing a good enough job at home. Their husbands had to resort to going elsewhere for it. Why, even the girls at the office could do it much better.
Do you like instant coffee? Oh, so you’re the guy. Well, this is great news for you, dude. Starbucks has made a “breakthrough in soluble coffee,” and it will be bringing it to a cafe near you. The chain is expected to announce the product, called “Via”, next week.
Hallucinogenic Aryan hippies nightmarishly prance about the bleary-eyed and fatigued, screaming “YOU CAN SLEEP WHEN YOU ARE DEAD!” Which will be just as soon as one of these electric kool-aid acid ghouls manages to touch you.
One of the oft-stated consumer worries post-Katrina—besides the trepidation of a regional shortage in poor, underserved New Orleanians to clean up the beads and offal of exploded Mardi Gras tourists—was a fear that coffee prices would spike. A large portion of our coffee enters the country through New Orleans, which is why companies like Folgers put over half of their coffee production plants in the city.