We Don’t Want To Hear About Your Disappointing Flowers This Valentine’s Day

We Don’t Want To Hear About Your Disappointing Flowers This Valentine’s Day

Well, Consumerist readers, the time is near. There’s a month to go until Valentine’s Day, and we have a goal. We do not want to publish any disappointing wire service flower photos on Tuesday, February 18. None. Zero. Because everyone reading this right now who plans to order flowers will proceed to the friendliest, best-reviewed local florist they can find and order directly. [More]

This Year’s Mother’s Day Garden of Discontent Is Wonderfully Small

This Year’s Mother’s Day Garden of Discontent Is Wonderfully Small

A few weeks ago, we asked our readers not to send us any Mother’s Day floral disasters. That’s because you weren’t going to have any floral disasters. Reader R. really did her best: she located a florist near her mom’s home, placed her order directly with them, and even discussed it with the shop. She was still disappointed with the end result––though her mom probably loved it, because that’s how moms are. [More]

Watch Out For The Customer Appreciation Price Penalty At FTD

Watch Out For The Customer Appreciation Price Penalty At FTD

Longtime readers know that we recommend going directly to your favorite independent local florist, but we won’t fault Rebecca for placing an order through the national FTD site. We’re cool like that, and the flowers her friend got were probably great. We do want to share her experience, though, to point out something interesting about FTD and many other retailers. Sometimes it pays to clear your Web browser’s cookies while browsing. It “pays” in a very literal sense. [More]

We Don’t Want To Hear About Your Disappointing Flowers This Mother’s Day

We Don’t Want To Hear About Your Disappointing Flowers This Mother’s Day

There’s only a week and a half until Mother’s Day, and we have a goal. We do not want to publish any disappointing wire service flower photos on Monday, May 13. None. Because everyone reading this right now who plans to order flowers will proceed to the friendliest, best-reviewed local florist they can find and order directly. [More]

The lovely flowers that arrived.

I Ordered Directly From A Local Florist, And It Was Awesome

Why are we still yammering about Valentine’s Day flowers? The holiday itself is long gone, but as birthdays, funerals, hospitalizations, and other occasions come and go, the problems with using national Big Flower websites remain. As another major flower-sending holiday, Mother’s Day, approaches, we’re sharing this story from reader Josh about how wonderfully his order from a local florist turned out. [More]

(Karen_Chappell)

FTD Salvages Fiancée’s Birthday Present After Florist Tries To Kill Her With Lilies

Sometimes, it doesn’t matter all that much when a florist substitutes in a different flower from the one you ordered, and sometimes it matters very much. In the case of Andy’s fiancée, it’s actually kind of important for her to not get a certain kind of flower, because she’s allergic to it. It’s no fun to get flowers for your birthday if you can’t be in the same room as them. [More]

FTD Thinks ‘A Different Vase Is OK’ And ‘Change The Flowers Entirely’ Mean The Same Thing

The same thing. Right?

At high-volume times like Valentine’s Day, and at any other time, really, flower-delivery services like FTD reserve the right to substitute something similar if they don’t have the exact item in stock that you want. Mark was upset shortly after Valentine’s Day because he ordered an arrangement that had a purple container, purple flowers, and some white lilies in it. Purple is her favorite color, you see, and lilies are her favorite flower. Isn’t Mark thoughtful? Speaking for the ladies of America, he is. He’s also really mad. [More]

Not the flowers! Noooo!

Thief Dressed As Deliveryman Walks Out Of Florist With 21 Bouquets On Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is a chaotic time for florists, with temporary help mixing with regular staff to get everything delivered on time and to the right recipient. (Well, mostly.) In Chicago, one busy florist claims that a man took advantage of the floral fracas to walk off with 21 flower arrangements worth a total of $2,000. [More]

More Valentine’s Day Mishaps From Proflowers

More Valentine’s Day Mishaps From Proflowers

Mykel picked out a lovely bouquet for his fiancée from Proflowers, but the lovely and lush bouquet isn’t what showed up on her desk. What she got had a lot fewer flowers than it had looked like on the site. [More]

(SarahSphar)

Florists Hate FTD And Teleflora Even More Than Disappointed Girlfriends Do

As a customer, you see ads from the ancient florist wire services like FTD and Teleflora. Readers write in and complain to us about those specific brands, since that’s the website they visit and the brand name that’s familiar. When you order up some flowers, though, that’s not who brings them to your door. It’s locally-owned florists, small business owners, who actually arrange and deliver your gifts. They might receive orders from the wire services, but often earn no profit or even take a loss on putting it together. [More]

(LouManPhoto)

Viagra Can Work Wonders On Flower Stems’ Stamina Just Like, Well, You Know

If you managed to get adecent bouquet of healthy, thriving flowers (unlike many of our readers and all these people on Twitter) give yourself a pat on the back. Now, how can you keep your stems firm, your petals blossoming and infuse those stamens with stamina? That same magic blue pill also likely popular on Valentine’s Day, Viagra. [More]

One of these things is not like the other

The 2013 Valentine’s Day Garden Of Discontent

This year, the major national flower-distribution networks were just as busy as usual on Valentine’s Day. Busy being terrible at their jobs. Maybe the vast majority of flower arrangements ended up where they were supposed to and looked more or less correct, but it’s the outliers that make both senders and recipients feel like crap. When the vast floral-industrial complex markets to us with the message that the quality of the flowers we send or receive is a proxy for the quality of our love, then they should go out of their way not to screw that up for us. Right? [More]

Valentine’s Day Garden Of Discontent: The 2013 Entries From Proflowers

Valentine’s Day Garden Of Discontent: The 2013 Entries From Proflowers

When Proflowers isn’t accusing people of bigamy, Proflowers is apparently busy really, really disappointing girlfriends. So far today we’ve received two reports of the company dispatching really subpar roses. What the recipients actually got is nice and all, but not what the sender paid for. [More]

One of these things is greener than the other.

FTD Kicks Off The Valentine’s Day Disappointment Season With Subpar Roses On February 11th

Alex tried to beat the rush. He had a dozen roses delivered to his lady’s workplace on Monday, February 11th, paying $96 for the privilege. Whatever he expected, it was not what appears in the photo that he sent: even properly lit, there’s a lot more green and a lot less luscious red rose in that picture than there should be. [More]

(Kryptomaisonaut)

Make Sure That Local Florist You Found On Google Really Is Local

Let’s say that you want to order some flowers for your aunt in Omaha. You remember the frequent warnings on this site to go directly to a local florist, so that’s what you do. You type “florist omaha” into Google, scroll past the paid listings and the ones Google has plotted on a map, and choose a shop with a nice-looking website. Perfect! Only this “local” florist isn’t so local. You tried to make the right choice, but are hurting the very neighborhood flower shop you were trying to patronize when you typed those words in Google. [More]

(gmcmullen)

1-800-Flowers Promises Flowers, Refund, Coupons: Delivers None Of The Above

Kyle had a LivingSocial voucher for 1-800-Flowers, and thought that he would put it to good use sending a lovely arrangement to his parents to show that he was thinking of them at Christmas. 1-800-Flowers didn’t really want to cooperate, though. They e-mailed him twice to let him know that the arrangement had been delivered…but it actually hadn’t. Silly Kyle, assuming that one of the messages had to reflect reality. They’ve since promised him a refund and a $20 coupon that have never come. [More]

(MZ)

Florist Added Pretty Purple Ribbon, Subtracted Actual Attractive Flowers

Maybe MZ should have just picked up some flowers from Walmart or the grocery store instead. FTD sent the order to a local florist, but not a competent local florist. Maybe FTD should learn to search Yelp first. [More]

FTD.com Vs. Reality: Enjoy Your Mother's Day Chargeback

FTD.com Vs. Reality: Enjoy Your Mother's Day Chargeback

It’s not a major flower-giving holiday here at The Consumerist without an installment of the Garden of Discontent. Laura (not me, a different one) sent along this disappointing diptych of the lush bouquet that she ordered for her mom from FTD.com and the meager handful of plant matter that was actually delivered, a day late. [More]