The flowers Teresa got.

Not-So-Local Florist Disappoints My Mom With Subpar Roses

The Consumerist Garden of Discontent is a recurring theme on this site, because it seems that delivered flowers will never quite measure up to the photos in catalogs or on the website. In hindsight, Teresa wishes that she had just picked up a few bouquets at Trader Joe’s and presented them to her mom in person before she left town. She could have done some quality control, and the end result would have been a lot prettier. [More]

(MZ)

Florist Added Pretty Purple Ribbon, Subtracted Actual Attractive Flowers

Maybe MZ should have just picked up some flowers from Walmart or the grocery store instead. FTD sent the order to a local florist, but not a competent local florist. Maybe FTD should learn to search Yelp first. [More]

Florist Gives Refund For Botched Valentine's Delivery, Then Repos Flowers

Maybe the flowers that Seth ordered for his girlfriend from a locally-owned florist in Texas were fresh, beautiful, and exactly what he asked for. Or maybe they weren’t. He has no idea. The blooms were delivered to the apartment complex office during the afternoon on the 14th, but without a name or apartment number to indicate who they might belong to. After lying about why there were no flowers a few times, they gave Seth the refund he asked for. Then sent a driver back to the apartment office to take back the flowers before his girlfriend could fetch them. [More]

FTD Doesn't Bother To Find Florist, Makes Your Grandma Sad On Her Birthday

FTD Doesn't Bother To Find Florist, Makes Your Grandma Sad On Her Birthday

Erin has a Valentine’s Day warning for Consumerist readers. Not only is FTD part of the nefarious WebLoyalty cabal, but she tells Consumerist that they’re also happy to take customers’ money and conveniently forget to dispatch a florist with actual flowers. [More]

Crisis At The Florist: When Cooler Heads Prevail

Crisis At The Florist: When Cooler Heads Prevail

After weeks of trying to get our floral cooler fixed, it has been fixed as of 2:00pm today! The issue was with the dryer valve and not the compressor. The valve was completely clogged and we had a new one soldiered on. It went from 85 degrees to 44 degrees in 15 minutes. It is the best $324.45 I have ever spent!

Ask The Consumerists: These Flowers Just Need To Chill

Ask The Consumerists: These Flowers Just Need To Chill

Billy’s wife owns a small flower shop near Austin, Texas. The shop’s floral cooler broke down recently. They can’t afford a new one, and can’t find a used one for sale in the area. A misunderstanding when taking out an insurance policy means that the business’s insurance won’t cover the cooler malfunction.

This Florist Has A Loose Grasp Of Geometry, Flower Arranging

This Florist Has A Loose Grasp Of Geometry, Flower Arranging

Erik ordered an unusual flower arrangement for his wife earlier this week. [More]

FTD Never Mentioned That They Failed To Deliver The Flowers You Ordered In December

FTD Never Mentioned That They Failed To Deliver The Flowers You Ordered In December

Ryan sent his father flowers last December through FTD.com but they never arrived. Ryan apparently forgot to give his father’s apartment number to FTD, and when UPS tried calling FTD for delivery instructions, rather than ask Ryan to clarify the address, FTD instead told UPS to chuck the flowers. None of this was apparently worth mentioning to Ryan, who just recently learned that his gift was never delivered.

http://consumerist.com/2009/02/14/thieves-stole-all-the-roses400/

Thieves stole all the roses—400 of them—from an Ohio florist yesterday, as well as the vases, the decorations, and the computer. [Associated Press] (Photo: tillwe)

Royal Flowers Hikes Price After You Order Flowers For Mother's Day

Royal Flowers Hikes Price After You Order Flowers For Mother's Day

FTD.com Delivers The Bill, Forgets The Flowers

FTD.com Delivers The Bill, Forgets The Flowers

FTD.com forgot to deliver flowers to Tip’s girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, but that didn’t stop them from delivering the bill. When calls to FTD.com didn’t go through, Tip launched the fearsome Executive Email Carpet Bomb. He wrote:

Perhaps $75 is not a lot to you. Perhaps the happiness of your customers does not mean a lot to you either. Perhaps, for a company that’s been around for nearly 100 years, you simply forgot to mark your calendar that yesterday was Valentine’s Day.

http://consumerist.com/2007/10/18/some-newlyweds-are-suing/

Some newlyweds are suing a florist for $400,000 for messing up their wedding. They say they paid 30k for centerpieces of rust, fuchsia and dark green at $465 a pop, but were surprised to see cheaper flowers used to create pinkish-white centerpieces that ruined the overall look of the room. The florist says he has proof they got what they asked for and will counter-sue. We say we’re in the wrong business. [Reuters]

FTD.com: Sorry, We're All Out Of Roses

FTD.com: Sorry, We're All Out Of Roses

Online florist FTD.com, “the world’s oldest floral services organization,” told reader Sean that they were out of roses. Sean had ordered a flower arrangement for his wife to celebrate their sixth anniversary. When he presciently called on the day of the anniversary to verify that his order had been received and processed, Sean was told that his flowers were not available, but not to worry, since FTD still had five minutes to deliver his arrangement. Puzzled, Sean instead tried to order a simple bouquet of roses. He writes:

Class Action Suit Drives Scammers Into Bankruptcy

Class Action Suit Drives Scammers Into Bankruptcy

Missouri florists have bankrupted a New Jersey telemarketer accused in a class action suit of tampering with phone book listings to siphon callers away from local businesses. The telemarketer, TTP, purchased phone book listings under the same names as local florists, but did not provide an address; the listings appeared side-by-side, but when local callers dialed the number without an address, they were directed to an out-of-state call center that tacked on a handling fee and submitted the order to a different area florist.

“The primary objective of both lawsuits is to get TTP out of Missouri,” said Gregory Leyh of Gladstone, the attorney for both class-action lawsuits. “TTP cheats by pretending to be a local florist so it can fool consumers and steal the legitimate business of Missouri florists. At least for now, TTP is no longer in the floral business in Missouri.”

Today's Tip For Adulterers: Don't Use 1-800-Flowers

Today's Tip For Adulterers: Don't Use 1-800-Flowers

A Texas man is suing 1-800-Flowers for $1 million after a thank you note from the web florist outed him as an adulterer. Leroy Greer specifically asked 1-800-Flowers not to send him a receipt for the cuddly stuffed animal and dozen long stemmed roses he ordered for his mistress. Despite his request, 1-800-Flowers sent a thank you note to his house several months later, prompting his wife to ask who the hell got flowers. She called 1-800-Flowers, which gladly faxed her a copy of Leroy’s order form that included the following message meant for his mistress: “Just wanted to say I love you and you mean the world to me! -Leroy.” Above The Law has the legalese:

How To Save On Funeral Expenses

Dearly beloved, we gather here today to remember that the funeral industry is a sales-based profession with tips and tricks like any other. Consumers often lower their guard in deference to the pain and reverence that accompanies funeral planning; yet just because you are bereaved, doesn’t mean you should be taken for a sap. Here are a few tips to keep funeral costs manageable:

Roses Are Not Red, They’re Invisible.

A rose by any other name might smell just as sweet, but that requires the rose be there in the first place. Dave learned this painful lesson when he tried to order his wife roses.