I opened a box I received from FedEx and pulled out of a couple of DVDs and then saw what looked like a rusty lid of something. At first, I thought nothing of it, since you can get DVDs packaged in all kinds of weird shit. I thought it might have been a fake film canister of some sort or...something. In retrospect, it might have been the Limited Edition Paint Can "This Old House: The Complete Series." But when I pulled it out I saw it was what you're seeing up there: an authentic $4.99 rusty gallon can of Satinwood Interior Latex Flat Wall Paint. (And please don't mock the wallpaper, it came with the house.)

I called the sender of the package and said, "What's with sending me a can of paint?"

He said, "What the hell are you talking about: a can of paint?" And you can guess where the conversation went from there.

It took a while for John to track down someone from FedEx to investigate, but apparently they're on the case now:

Regardless, the claims process is supposed to be underway, and FedEx Claims was helpful when I got them on the line—after they inexplicably transferred me to somebody who worked somewhere else within the company and had no idea why I was suddenly on their phone and then...on the second call they transferred me into their internal phonemail system, where I was prompted for my mailbox number. But anyway, the third call was fine. Let's just see how they react to this.

"Indiana Jones and the Satinwood Latex Flat Wall Paint" [Needcoffee.com]

"The name FedEx Office more accurately represents our broader role of providing superior information and services,'' Brian Philips, the unit's chief executive officer, said in the statement. "We are a back office for small businesses and a branch office for medium to large businesses and mobile professionals.''

FedEx to rename Kinko's [Bloomberg via Kottke]
(Photo: cmorran123 )

Hello, I would like to inform everyone that posted or read my article, that I received a call from a corporate executive from FedEx in Memphis, TN who acted very promptly on the matter concerning my recent article and complaint that I filed with FedEx about the Maspeth location. He offered to have someone pick the package up for me right at that time, and deliver it to me at my place of employment.

I reiterated to him that the service provided to me at this location was highly unconscionable, and my main concern was that if in the future I needed to go back to this location would i receive the treatment?? He informed me that their actions were totally uncalled for and that there is an existing investigation regarding not only my complaint but at least 50 other similar issues with this branch, and that they are currently working on providing the customer with policy information on notices, i.e. doortags,emails, etc. also providing me with his email, and direct line in Memphis should I have any further issues.

I have to say that it was very comforting to know that my story was heard and acted on in a way that every customer should be treated on a daily basis.

Thank You :)

That's great news, Matt. It's good to see that FedEx is still interested treating people with respect, even in Queens.

PREVIOUSLY: No Proof Of Address? FedEx Curses You Out
(Photo: Maulleigh)

I am writing to you today to share my horrible experience with FedEx. On May 2, 2008 I ordered a new phone through my carrier and had it shipped to my house in Jackson Heights, NY, a suburb of Queens. As many might not expect, Queens is a pretty difficult part of NYC to get through if one does not have a car. On May 5 upon discovering that FedEx was unable to deliver and leave the package at my home address without a signature, they left a door tag. When i got home i read the door tag which stated that I needed to travel to a receiving location across the borough of Queens to pick up my package. After reading this i immediately called 1-800-GOFEDEX, and they assured me that my package could and would be delivered to a location a few blocks away from my house (which as a matter of principle, they should have done in the first place but i digress) as of the next day May 6, 2008. Not only would they do me that "convenience" they would also notify me via telephone and email when my package would be delivered so i could come and pick it up. They did neither.

I called later in the day to inquire on the status of delivery and the operator informed me that not only did they not put a forwarding address and number to call, but yet again it was back on the truck to be delivered. FedEx only delivers 3 times and then returns it to the sender, which would have been a nightmare. So i decide to suck it up and make the trek to the Maspeth location. Upon arrival I was never greeted, and rudely asked, "What do you need?" I handed the woman my ID and the Door Tag. I stated that i had a package i needed to pick up. The woman promptly pointed the sign that read, "Customers Must Present Proof of ID and Verification of Address". Then she yelled, "Next Customer".. I couldn't believe what i was hearing and reminded her who was the customer in the situation to which she responded, "I don't give a SHIT if you are the customer or not, im not gonna be attacked by customers today, no i won't". Finally i asked to speak with the manager and received not only the same attitude, but this statement, "Unfortunately it is what it is. The policy between AT&T and our company is that we can't give you the package until you show us a bill with your address. You'll have to call them and work that out otherwise." I asked him if he could show me such policy that he was quoting, and he said that it could be found at FedEx headquarters. I also told him that if it was of such GREAT IMPORTANCE that I need proof of address that they HAD TO HANG A SIGN, why was he unable to relinquish the FedEx/consumer policy he was attempting to pawn off on me? To which he responded, "Look, there's nothing i can do God Dammit, now if you have any other questions call the customer service line, NEXT CUSTOMER".

Furious, irritated, and feeling hopeless, I asked for the first employees name, his name and email, and his district manager's information and all i got was his business card and a grin. COMPLETE NIGHTMARE. I will never go back, and now due to the fact that i will be at work when they come for the "FINAL DELIVERY" tomorrow i am forced to take off time from work just so i can get my package. PRINCIPLE:#1 If the FedEx employee was able to drop off the notice TWICE, at the listed address, why is isn't that enough proof of address? Obviously they were at the correct address. #2 Why isn't that "ID POLICY" stated on the door tag they left?
I spoke to an operator after i returned home and they stated that there was no reason they couldn't have given me the package, and that there is no existing contract between companies and FedEx that states such policies. I have since complained to FedEx, which will probably get me nowhere, but at least my voice will be heard.

Thank you for taking the time to read my complaint
Matthew in Queens.

We're not impressed, FedEx. If the telephone CSR's aren't familiar with these policies how are we expected to be? At the very least, this information should be left on the door tickets so that customers don't have to waste trips coming to your pickup locations. Perhaps if this information were more readily available, your employees would be less frustrated and more able to refrain from swearing at the customers, even if they are in Queens.

(Photo: Maulleigh)

My name is Matt [redacted]. Last week, I purchased a refurb iPod nano 4GB from apple.com for my mom for Mother's Day. Today, it was supposed to be delivered to my work. When I received the package, the seal was broken, and all that was in the box was the packing slip and the packing material. No iPod. It has been stolen by FedEx. I filed a claim with FedEx over the phone a few munutes ago.

What I need is for you to replace my iPod in time for me to give this to my mom for Mother's Day on Sunday 5/11/08. Please help. I am a loyal Mac user and have purchased several iPods in the past

We're not actually sure what effect emailing Steve Jobs will have in this case, but Matt's Mom... if you're out there... you have a very nice son who wants you to get your gift in time.

(AP Photo/Paul Sakuma)

Here's how it works: you drop your package off at a participating station, Amtrak ships it off, and the recipient picks it up in the destination city.

Because Amtrak always has to futz something up, express shipping isn't offered out of Penn Station, but New Yorkers can still receive packages "(or human remains.)"

Save With Dave: Amtrak Shipping [CBS 13]
Amtrak Express Shipping [Amtrak]
(Photo: reivax)

The only information Minoru has to go on to reconstruct the last, sad hours of his new laptop's life are the status tracking updates:

• Apr 22, 2008 3:36 AM On FedEx vehicle for delivery
• Apr 22, 2008 5:24 PM At local FedEx facility
• Apr 23, 2008 1:10 PM Shipment exception / Unable to deliver

Wow. So now I'm really disturbed. I called FedEx, and the rep tells me that the package is damaged, and they will not deliver it. I demanded more information, and she switched me to her manager. Ceci Watts at Cincinnati call center was absolutely 0% helpful. You could tell she handled this type of calls frequently. All she could repeat was the same stupid line no matter what I said or asked. This isn't word for word, but it's pretty much how it went:
 
Me: So was the package on the truck at 3:36 AM or not?
Ceci: It was a miscellaneous scan.
Me: What does that mean?
Ceci: It was a miscellaneous scan.
Me: So what does it mean? "On FedEx vehicle for delivery" sounds like it at least made it to the truck for delivery. I would like to know if the package made it to the truck, and when and where the package was damaged.
Ceci: That's irrelevant.
Me: It's relevant because I need to know why I don't have my package.
Ceci: It's irrelevant.
Me: So was it a lie? Are you saying the status was a lie? It never made it to the truck?
Ceci: It was a miscellaneous scan. It doesn't matter.
Me: This is ridiculous.
 
Ceci insisted that there's nothing they can do for me, even though they destroyed my package. My laptop was fine until it entered that mysterious 14-hour window on April 22. It was in FedEx's hands, and it somehow got damaged, and who knows where it is now. The only option for me, Ceci said, was to contact Apple. So even though it's almost impossible for anybody else to be responsible for the matter, they're refusing to correct the situation or be helpful about it in any way. Now I have to take my own time to contact Apple, Apple would have to investigate it, then send me another computer.

Tiffany writes:

I'm writing to you in hopes (just like Dustin at the military base, but possibly a little more desperate) that some day in the near future I can get my Xbox360 back.

I sent it to Microsoft to fix on January 5, 2008 and shipped it back to me on February 2, 2008; however, FedEx shipped it to my home address and I unfortunately couldn't sign for it because I was stuck at work. I requested that FedEx change the delivery address to my work address, but they said they couldn't without Microsoft's permission. I asked FedEx to hold it at the shipping center but it accidentally got returned to Microsoft's service center.

At that point, Microsoft had done no wrong, but this is where it starts to get frustratingly nightmarish. I contacted Microsoft who assured me that they would send the package back, this time to my work address where the package could be signed for during normal work hours; however, somewhere along the line, Microsoft decided I had stolen the Xbox from the original owner since it was suspicious that I was "opening two repair orders" in such a short time. Countless (I lost track after 10ish) phone calls were made to Microsoft customer support about my case in a fruitless battle to get them to send me my console back, but they kept dancing around the reason(s) they were refusing to send it back to me. Eventually, a customer service representative admitted that all along they were unauthorized and had no means to actually help me, so all the times they claimed a supervisor assigned to my case would contact me about my case were lies. They eventually coughed up an address to the Microsoft Legal Department and said if I sent a letter their way, they would help me out. She hinted that the reason corporate had put a hold on my console may be because they didn't believe I was the original owner, despite the fact that I sent them a copy of my receipt and credit card statement as bona fide proof of purchase.

My coworker had suffered similar bad luck with his console repair and also had to write the legal department several letters before finally receiving his console back, so I felt like I finally had a chance to get my missing console returned to me. I sent a letter to the Microsoft Legal Department and CC'd a copy to the Vice President of Consumer Affairs at Microsoft 22 days ago begging for at least a response to my letter. Thus far, my e-mail inbox has remained vacant and my phone has not rung with news from Microsoft.

At this point, I'm quite at the end of my line and know that contacting customer support would just wring what little humanity I have left out of my soul. I noticed last week you posted about Dustin's grief with Microsoft not sending him a box to ship his Xbox in for repairs and also provided some links to file a small claim and contact my attorney general. I'm wondering if you can assist me further in any way, or know of someone who can since you've mentioned that multitudes of people of submitted similar complaints. Being completely left in the dark as to why they won't send my Xbox back to me after four months is making me more than a little crazy.

Thanks,

Tiffany

You can try going even higher, straight to the top, and emailing big billg@microsoft.com, but reason apparently has no home at Microsoft.

Our advice to reader Dustin, who, after three months, still hadn't received a shipping box, was to speak with his credit card company, consider small claims court, and to launch the mighty Executive Email Carpet Bomb. Tiffany wants even more, a customer service weapon so powerful, so effective, that it hides beyond our conception. For that, we're going to turn this one over to you, our beloved and infallible Consumerists. Tiffany has reasoned, waited, begged, all without results. What should she do next?

PREVIOUSLY: It's Been 3 Months And 12 Days Since My XBOX Broke And Microsoft Still Won't Send Me A Box
(Photo: Jake of 8bitjoystick.com)

Eric writes:

When you walk into a store that says FEDEX on it, one would think that the employees there would know how to ship things via FedEx. Unfortunately, that didn't seem to be the case on Sunday night at the FedEx Kinko's on Astor Place in Manhattan.

My town is having a school board election on Tuesday. I'm in college now, so I requested an absentee ballot. The county clerk's office mistyped my address, so I only ended up getting the ballot on Sunday. I brought it to Kinko's to make sure it arrived back at the clerk's office in time.

Unfortunately, when I got there, no one at the store knew how to handle FedEx because their "shipping station was closed". Of course, the hours listed on their website don't say anything about separate hours. The employee's solution was to fill out an order form and then call the store back tomorrow to get the tracking information. Because of the time-sensitivity of it, though, I needed to know if I could sent it ground or if it had to be sent overnight. No one could give me an answer, other than that I should call 800-go-fedex. I asked 3 people in the store (Malik, Stephanie, and the manager Carlo or Carlos) if they had some kind of internal number they could call for me, but they claimed they didn't. So, while standing in a FedEx store, I called FedEx. The guy on the other end didn't seem to understand the concept of days (First he said ground would take one day and arrive on Wednesday, which doesn't make sense. Then he said that it would arrive on Tuesday but it could arrive on Wednesday). Eventually it was all sorted out and I decided to send it ground.

Then came the next issue. Since they couldn't tell me how much the cost would be, I had to write my credit card number on the order form, which presumably gets attached to the package and sent all over the place. Seems like a really good opportunity for identity thieves. And because I was just handing it to a person who wasn't actually entering it into the system, I couldn't get a receipt and there was no tracking number. The only thing I could get confirming that I had given them the package was one of the carbon-copies of the order form, which anyone could just pick up and create. When one of the nice things about FedEx is being able to track the package at every step, this didn't fill me with a lot of confidence.

This morning, I called the store to get the tracking information. I was on the phone for 22 minutes, constantly being put on hold and then being asked who I was holding for. I was worrying the whole time that they lost my package. This kept going until someone took pity on me and said she would call me back. When she did, as luck would have it, there was a tracking number and the price appears correct. Hopefully FedEx is able to deliver it better than they were able to receive it!

I called the district manager last night to complain; I left a voicemail but he hasn't called back.

That said, have some faith in the government! Hackensack is 20 miles from New York. The post office would've been up to the challenge.

(Photo: Maulleigh)

FWSmith@fedex.com
- Fred Smith, Chairman, President, Chief Executive Officer

RCARTER@fedex.com
- ROBERT CARTER, Executive VP Chief Information Officer

DREBHOLZ@fedex.com
- DAVID REBHOLZ, Executive VP Operations & Systems Support

MDUCKER@fedex.com
- MICHAEL DUCKER, Executive VP

DBINKS@fedex.com
- DAVID BINKS, President, Canada region

ROBERT.ELLIOTT@fedex.com
- President, Europe, Middle East & Africa region

DANIEL.SULLIVAN@fedex.com

RODGER.MARTICKE@fedex.com
- Executive Vice President, Chief Operating Officer

BJOHNSON@fedex.com
- BRAM JOHNSON, Executive Vice President

DOUG.DUNCAN@fedex.com
- DOUGLAS DUNCAN, President, Chief Executive Officer

PAT.REED@fedex.com
- Executive Vice President and Chief Operating Officer

LARRY.MILLER@fedex.com
- President, Chief Executive Officer

KEITH.LOVETRO@fedex.com
- President, Chief Executive Officer

JACK.PICKARD@fedex.com
- President, Chief Executive Officer, FedEx Custom Critical

Brian.Philips@fedex.com
- Executive Vice President, Chief Operating Officer

TSchmitt@fedex.com
- Tom Schmitt, President & Chief Executive Officer

ABGRAF@fedex.com
- ALAN GRAF, Executive VP, Chief Financial Officer

CPRICHARDS@fedex.com
- CHRISTINE RICHARDS, Executive VP, General Counsel, Secretary

DJBRONCZEK@fedex.com
- DAVID BRONCZEK, President, CEO, Fedex Europe

DLCUNNINGHAM@fedex.com
- DAVID CUNNINGHAM, President, Asia Pacific region

JNCENTO@fedex.com
- JUAN CENTO, President, Latin America-Caribbean region

CMSimon@fedex.com
- Craig Simon, President, Global Supply Chain Services

MJournee@fedex.com - Martine Journee

(Photo: mrbill)

He writes:

I love dealing with UPS. The package comes when they say it will, and the regular deliveryman knows when, and when not, to leave a package when nobody's home. I hate dealing with FedEx. They claim they came when they didn't and leave packages at the door without even knocking when we are home. For Christmas, I ordered a pair of skis for my wife and told the shipper to insist on a signature. TrackingUpdates@fedex.com sent me a shipment notification that clearly said "Must Obtain Signature DO NOT LEAVE AT DOOR."

The tracking page said that the delivery would be on 12/26. No problem, since I ordered too late to get it in time for Christmas. We changed our plans to stay up in the Adirondacks for the long Christmas weekend only because of the heavy Sunday rain that wiped out the great skiing conditions that existed just a day before. I went to work Monday, Christmas Eve, checked the tracking page, and found out that they were now delivering the skis that day. I called my wife and told her to hustle home to be there for the package.

I later checked the tracking page before she got home and found that they had delivered it with the notation " Left at front door. Package delivered to recipient address - release authorized." I submitted a complaint online: "Despite specific instructions from the shipper: 'Must Obtain Signature DO NOT LEAVE AT DOOR,' the package was left at the door based on 'Signature Release on file.' [please note — that's B.S.] I HEREBY REVOKE ANY AND ALL SIGNATURE RELEASES THAT YOU HAVE ON FILE."

Their reply was: "Our records indicate that your shipper is not requiring FedEx to acquire a signature to complete this delivery. Our drivers often can deliver packages even when no one is available to sign for them." I e-mailed them again and suggested that they re-read my e-mail and the specific instructions from the shipper.

Then I got this reply: "FedEx authorized release of residential packages without a release agreement on file to expedite deliveries because of possible weather/volume issues and to ensure packages were delivered in time for the holiday. FedEx reserves the right to release packages at residential locations without obtaining a signature."

In other words, FedEx doesn't care what instructions are given by the shipper — they reserve the right to do whatever they want with the package — like leaving it outside so various undesirables can happen by and help themselves to your stuff. By the way, the toe piece on one of the ski bindings was damaged. Thanks, FedEx.

I no longer will do business with any merchant that will not give me the option of shipping with some company other than FedEx.

Thanks for listening

Frank

I've been waiting for a FedEx package and apparently it was delivered today while I wasn't home and signed for by "LOLDLADY" (an abbreviation for little old lady maybe?). Either way, I just thought this was funny considering FedEx will usually enter the name of the person who signed for the package and not just a description like this.

Now I get to deal with the fun part of getting home from work and figuring out which of the many old ladies that live in my building signed for my package.

Surprisingly, the infrared thermometer inside was not damaged.

Example:

Been a FedEx courier for 7 years.

GPS: Not in any of our trucks (unless management is keeping it a secret!). We do have wireless communication, however, and are often asked to give an ETA for a particular delivery.

Paid per attempt: Yes and no. Express drivers are paid per hour; ground drivers are "independent contractors" (please don't get into the ongoing argument as to whether they really are or not; I'm merely distinguishing the types of drivers) and at least part of their pay is "per package." An express driver could in theory benefit from reattempting a package several times, as it would make for a few more minutes on the clock each day.

Possible solutions for your problem:

1) Appointment delivery, mentioned by Arnie.

2) Note on door saying you are home, and please wait until you come to the door.

3) You might experiment with contacting the station directly and seeing if they can automatically "hold" any packages for you at the station. Our station does this, but not all stations will put this in place for you.

4) Get the mailbox at the UPS store. Of course, there might not be one anywhere near you.

5) Get to know your driver. I know, that would mean you'd waste a day actually watching so you could catch him/her and talk, but building the relationship would be worth it for you, as you get a good number of signature-required deliveries.

6) Call 1-800-GO-FEDEX, say "representative" and give them your address, then ask to speak to a manager at the station that serves your address. Tell them your problem, and that it has been ongoing.

7) Most online order forms have a couple of lines for the address. If you are able to put your address on only one line, you might use the second for any specific instructions you have. Might help, might not.

Hope some of that is helpful. I'm on the "inside" of FedEx, and I know we sure aren't perfect, any more than any other company. We have plenty of areas we need to improve. I'm sorry you've been on the receiving end of these problems.

If you'll send me an email with your name and complete address, I'll contact your FedEx station and try to resolve the issue. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, I understand. If so, contact me at 268370 letter-a-letter-t fedex-dot-com.

FedEx House Arrest [Washington Post Blogs] (Thanks, Bill!)
(Photo: jenn jenn)

Geek Squad has currently infiltrated 13 FedEx stores in Indianapolis and 9 stores in Charlotte. The stores are "just like any other regular Geek Squad location," according to Best Buy. How long until they accidentally ship your PC to Abu Dhabi? —MEGHANN MARCO

Geek Squad testing out stores inside of Fedex/Kinkos [TG Daily]
(Photo: Maulleigh)

This year DHL won delivering first to 3 of the 5 locations, and second to the remaining 2. From Georgia Tech:

Admittedly, the race is an extreme test of the carriers' ability to deliver anywhere in the world, Bartholdi said. This year's packages were sent on April 13 to Yangon, Myanmar (formerly Burma); Tikrit, Iraq (one of the centers of Sunni insurgency); Floranopolis, Brazil (a small island); Harare, Zimbabwe and Apia, Samoa. Most packages arrived with a week or two, but one has yet to be delivered or returned.

DHL beat the competition this year, delivering first to three of the five locations and second to the remaining two. FedEx managed to deliver to three locations, and UPS delivered parcels to two. The remaining packages from FedEx and UPS went undelivered for a variety of reasons. In past races, the carriers traded wins in different locales.

Some snippets we enjoyed:

FedEx and UPS both claimed that they could not ship to Myanmar but could not explain why. DHL said that it could ship in to but not ship out of Myanmar.

The phone representative at UPS said that there was no country named Samoa. (In 1997 Western Samoa changed its name to Samoa, but it still exists as Western Samoa in the UPS database, as you can see by looking at www.ups.com under "Shipping: Calculate Time and Cost".)

We have no idea why our FedEx package is being held in Harare, as we prepaid everything. When our correspondent tried to pick up the package, it could not be found.

Prices of the shipments varied considerably; for example, one carrier charged $94.45 to Apia while another charged $169.10.

The Great Package Race 2007 [Georgia Tech]
Map of the Race to Tikrit
Global Package Race Puts Major Carriers to the Test [Georgia Tech]

Shipping Showdown [ABC News]

"I have been a Redskins season ticketholder for six years," says one of the members of the lawsuit, "When a player gets ejected, I have no idea why. . . ."

Adding captioning to the Jumbo-Tron seems reasonable enough, because hell, who CAN hear in a football stadium? We're all for it. In the meantime, though, it's probably time to learn the hand-signals displayed by referees. This one is called "safety," and unless Clinton Portis comes back soon, you might want to commit it to memory.

We may never really know. But it seems to happen an awful lot, and when that happens, FedEx is quick to issue phlegmy hems and wheezy haws, then point the finger soundly in the direction of some incompetence besides their own.

The delightfully alliterative Gaelen G. wrote us about a piece of jewelry that went missing from FedEx's diligent care recently. FedEx made it about as difficult as possible for her to get resolution, until finally, random chance in a godless universe put her in contact with the one person at the FedEx office who actually wanted to help her, putting the rest of the organization's unhelpfulness in sharp relief.

The email, after the jump.

I thought you might be interested in a recent FedEx experience I had.

I ordered a ring from a jewelery artist in Canada. I noticed it still hadn't arrived, and checked the FedEx tracking website. It listed it as having gone out to the wrong address, come back, then again went "out for delivery" on June 6. It was June 22 when I checked.

I called to find out what was going on and was told they didn't know where my package was. I verified the address and found that they had left my name off as addresse, so it was addressed only to the name of my office (which has over 100 people in it). The shipper had addressed it correctly, as this was reflected on the package tracking website. I tried to correct this mistake, but they insisted only the shipper could call and correct it. Didn't matter much anyway, since the package had never been delivered. I alerted our mailroom.

So where was the package, after all? They couldn't tell me and said they would call me back "within 48 hours." They never called.

The shipper felt badly and sent out a replacement. In the meantime, more than a month after it was sent, the first package arrived. Then the replacement arrived.

I brought the replacement to the FedEx office downstairs, unopened, and explained the situation, and told them I just wanted it returned to sender. The clerk was extremely rude and kept insisting that I had to either pay for the return trip or give them the shipper's billing number ("I don't have that." "Well then you just have to call them.").

I asked to talk to the manager, for which I got a lot of attitude. Then, a miracle:

I repeated the whole story to the manager. I explained again that I just wanted to turn the duplicate shipment around back to the sender. Her response? "Sure." And she took it out of my hands.

Whether it actually arrives back at the shipper — I'll have to wait and see....

We're fascinated by this catchy video of FedEx airplane route variations, in which the planes weave ant-like through the small patches of clear skies as a massive Thunderstorm approaches Memphis. If you ever wondered why your delivery took so damn long, here's your answer: like my aged mother, Fed Ex pilots don't like driving in the rain.

Phonecalls to all the companies were fruitless.

She despaired.

Then her neighbor came home...

Clare writes:

"I've been too embarrassed to send this, but I have an update on my "FedEx stole my Tivo" story of a couple of weeks ago. The children of my next door neighbor recently put her house up for sale, since she moved to a nursing home. But one son still uses her garage as a repository for his model trains (think Bobby Baccala.) The son was there the afternoon FedEx dropped off my Tivo, but he didn't tell the driver, "I'll sign for it." From what I can figure out, the driver left the package, my neighbor took the box from in front of my house and put it in his garage "for safekeeping." My neighbor then left the house, locked the garage, and didn't come back for three days. He saw my dad in the driveway when he finally came back to play with his trains some more, and said all nonchalantly, "Oh, FedEx dropped off a package for you three days ago."

*facepalm* What if it had been something perishable, like meat, or insulin?

So aside from my neighbor not telling us he had a package for us for three days, the story ends relatively happily. I called Tivo and FedEx and told them the package wasn't stolen, just briefly kidnapped and returned unharmed. They closed the service tickets and I got to activating my Tivo service and setting the thing up (another headache, but one for a different e-mail.)

Thanks again for running a great site, and take care.

—Clare"

Another Consumerist murder mystery solved. The amusement park is safe, kids. For now.

Previously: Consumerist Complaints: Stolen FedEx Package

She's got a lot of questions she's looking for you guys to answer, so go to her full email after the jump and see if you can't help her out.

Consumerist, I am writing to appeal to you and your readers for help/advice/righteous indignation. The Cliffs Notes version: Fedex left my Tivo at the door, and now it's gone. What now?

Oh, you wanted more than that? Here's the unabridged version:

On March 11, I called and ordered a Tivo for my dad's birthday from 877-BUY-TIVO, the phone number on Tivo.com's Web site. I gave all the pertinent information—phone, address, credit card number, email address—and was informed that the order would take 1-2 business days to fill and that the Tivo would be shipped via FedEx Ground.

I received a receipt via email from hdeasy.com on March 12 with the charge for the Tivo and the one-year service commitment.

On March 15, I received another email from hdeasy.com saying that the Tivo had shipped via FedEx ground. The email included a FedEx tracking number.

Over the course of two days, I tracked the package from the starting shipping point of Plano, TX to my home in Pennsylvania on FedEx s Web site.

Here's where it gets dicey.

On March 17 (a Friday), I saw that the package was "on truck for delivery" at the local FedEx depot. Because my home is so close to the local FedEx depot, I usually get FedEx packages either early in the day or late in the day (before 11 a.m. or after 4 p.m.) And that's fine, because one or both of my parents is usually home at those times. I checked the package's progress throughout the course of the day and saw that it was delivered to my house at 2:41 p.m. Nobody was home then. FedEx says on their package progress Web page, "Left at front door. Signature Service not requested." When I read this, I got concerned. I live on a busy street. My front door isn't hidden or shielded in any way from the street. My next door neighbor—who used to accept packages for me all the time—recently moved to an assisted living community, so she couldn't have taken it. My other neighbors work during the day, so they couldn't have held the package for me.

I got home from work around 6:15 p.m. and asked my mother, "So where's the Tivo? It was delivered today."

"It was? I haven't seen it."

A frantic search around my house, shed, garage, my now-gone next door neighbor's garage, and front door revealed nothing. My dad reads Consumerist, so I'll edit out what I said here.

At 7 p.m. on March 17, I got on the phone to FedEx s customer service number with tracking number in hand, and asked what the process was for a stolen package. The CSR looked at the package's tracking history and said "It says it was left at your front door. We'll call the driver and find out what happened." I asked, "So what's my next step?" CSR: "Um, call your shipper? And call us back if you don't hear from us in 24 hours."

Next, I called Tivo's customer service number, and explained that I ordered a Tivo from 877-BUY-TIVO, which was delivered that day and appeared to have been stolen from in front of my house. I asked what the box looked like so I knew what to look for. I got kicked from one CSR to a higher-level CSR, who finally kicked me to a CSR supervisor (after I explained the situation and gave all my information each and every time) who basically said the same thing as FedEx—"We'll look into it, we'll call you, if you don't hear from us, call us back." I was on hold for half an hour between the second and third CSRs, by the way.

I realized that Tivo didn't fill the order, hdeasy.com did. *facepalm* I called hdeasy.com's customer service number at about 8 p.m. and got a prerecorded message saying, "No one is available to take your call right now. Please call back after 8 a.m. EST." I'd call them now, but I'm at work.

I called FedEx again today (March 20) and the CSR said, "Sorry no one called you. There's a message here saying that you called on the 17th and said your package was missing. FedEx ground has to call you. Your local depot is closed on Sundays and Mondays, so you'll have to wait for us to call you tomorrow." Me: "OK, well, what do I do next?" FedEx CSR: "We'll call you." Me: "Well, if it was in fact stolen, what do I do?"
FedEx CSR: "Call your shipper, because they have to file a claim saying it was stolen."

So now I'm out $225, I have a bunch of questions, no answers, no satisfaction, and no birthday gift for my dad.

—How am I supposed to prove the package was stolen?

—Who is the shipper? Tivo or hdeasy.com?
—Does a chargeback come into play anywhere here?
—Is FedEx at fault for leaving the package without having someone sign for and receive it?
—Has anything like this ever happened to one of you? How did you resolve the situation?

I should have just gone to Best Buy and bought it in person.

Thanks in advance for everybody's advice and for not raking me over the coals!

—Clare

That sucks. Our gut feeling is that this will eventually be resolved, Clare, if you remain patient. We hope you won't be required to prove that it was stolen: companies like FedEx get packages stolen all the time, it's parcel with the difficulties delivering packages to people who aren't home. They do seem to have a process in place to help get satisfaction if your package is stolen. What it sounds like you need to do is insistently keep on HDEasy until they file the claim. Your package was likely insured by HDEasy and we imagine that they'll check with FedEx to see if you have a history of "stolen" packages and, if not, issue a replacement order. Just make sure to specify that signature is required.

Still, we don't have any experience with stolen packages, so perhaps one of our commenters can offer a bleaker view on the situation. Just what you wanted, right, Clare?

You can also add the info as an RSS feed, unless you happen to enjoy pressing the refresh key like a little lab rat getting your info crack fix.

From the article: "FedEx Express and FedEx Ground (FedEx) have agreed to undertake changes to their business practices that will strengthen their policies prohibiting the delivery of cigarettes to consumers throughout the United States, New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer announced.

"I commend FedEx for joining in this important effort," said Spitzer. "This is another example of private industry joining with law enforcement to address important social problems. When private companies like FedEx take the initiative to protect their services from being used by those engaged in criminal conduct, we all win."

"We all win". Except, of course, smokers who can't find their preferred devil's weed locally, who are labeled as "criminals" for trying to purchase a legal product through the mail. On a personal note, this is a big downer for me as a pipe smoker: Ireland's tobacco selection is paltry compared to the richness and variety of America's truly amazing selection of excellent tobaccos, and the only way I have been able to historically get them is to either have my American girlfriends smuggle a few pounds into Ireland as my personal tobacco molls, or to get an online retailer like Tobacco Direct to FedEx me a shipment. No longer, apparently.

Would someone just outlaw smoking already, so we can all finally end the charade that smoking is still legal?

The mysterious Edward W. corresponds from Britain:

I'd also like to call your attention to a lovely little practice FedEx enjoys with overseas shipments. Several times, my loving parents have shipped various items to me in the UK. Items get delivered, everyone is happy. Until a few weeks later, I get an invoice from FedEx for customs duty, which they informed me, they've paid on my behalf as a 'convenience'. A 'convenience' for which they also 'charge'. This means I've paid up to 20 duty and service charge on such high-end items as a bag of sage-and-onion stuffing and canned pumpkin for Thanksgiving. My personal favourite was a courtesy copy of a book I helped edit. It was FedExed by the publisher, but arrived when I was out. A neighbour took it in, and handed it over to me later. A week later, what should arrive but an invoice. So I had to pay (again, 20) for a book I hadn't requested, hadn't signed for, and conceivably (as far as FedEx was aware) hadn't even received.

I should point out that at no point during delivery are you made aware that duty has been assessed on an item...you only find out when the invoice comes, or (even better) if you get a rather dubious letter from a 'collections agency' threatening you with legal action if you don't pay.

This happened to me three different times. Now, I wouldn't use FedEx if Tom Hanks came to the door with a pair of ice skates, a silly smile, and an apology.

I really, really hate FedEx.

This is John Brownlee, slipping out of the Consumerist's royal 'we' for a moment. Edward, I sympathize with your plight. As an American living abroad myself - with a mother who likes to send me little care packages, usually consisting of novelty underpants - what once was a pinhead-sized pucker has been stretched into a gaping vortex by the repeated bonings I have received over the years by hidden C.O.D. shipping charges. I haven't yet experienced the FedEx reaming, but in Ireland, there are numerous other ways in which An Post tries to bore out your wallet. My favorite is when the shifty-eyed mail man arbitrarily charges me a V.A.T. of 21% of what the goods I have received are worth. Nothing makes your birthday more special than the mail man whisking away your birthday presents because you don't have 100 in cash in your pajamas to pay off what is, at heart, the sort of bullshit socialist tax that would have been a Bolshevik's wet dream.

It s not just the e-shops and brick n mortar mega-shops that come up with dubious if not devious ways to defraud their customers. Sometimes its the delivery service that turns the tricks.

Take our simple case of buying a camera bag via eBay. A simple enough procedure. Paid for it, including the shipping charge, and the seller a company over in California promptly sent us an email with the tracking number. Everything checked out: the address was correct, the price was right, and the three-day wait was fine. Except that it would mean delivery on a Friday, the one day of the week we get to go home early. Checked the trace Friday morning and discovered it was scheduled to be delivered. When we came back to our office on Sunday (this being a Jewish company), the FedEx tracker claimed that it had been left on the doorstep . A call to support got us nowhere apparently the depot was closed thus no action can be taken.

When we checked the tracker on Monday, we discovered a different delivery time and date for the exact same item, also left at doorstep . This time the call to the support line yielded a promise to track the driver, the item, and a call-back within twenty-four hours. None of which happened instead the FedEx claimed it sent the item back to the original sender who never received it. It does not end here: the seller, without prompting, ships a new bag to replace the one lost by FedEx . Only almost exactly the same story took place; the only variants: this time the driver could not find address ; and when we called to pick it up ourselves from the depot, we were told to wait until the depot would re-open after the holidays. We did. Only to find out that FedEx shipped the item back to the sender . Who, of course, never received the item.

It seems to us that the level of service with each company tends to vary depending on the temerity of your local delivery driver and the thoroughness of your local distribution center. For instance, at our current location, UPS is dreamy, while at our last apartment, UPS was a guarantee of broken items and shattered dreams of on-time receipt.

But still, we love to hear your pain. What haven't you received via post or shipment, and what are the companies you ordered from going to do about it?