http://consumerist.com/2009/05/21/you-could-put-a-glass/

You could put a glass marble or something down your dead cat’s throat and then look for it when you get the cremains back, if you really want to be sure it’s your cat. Don’t flame me! I’m not being cruel or insensitive – just offering a solution. I’ve had to euthanize and cremate 3 kitties myself and completely understand his feelings! I paid the extra to have my first cremated on his own but then wondered if it was really my cat’s ashes or just some random scoop of ashes out of a pile. Then I wondered why it mattered since it was just ashes. My best friend was gone and the ashes were small consolation. I thought they would be important after he died but when I got them back, they meant nothing to me. He was still gone.

http://consumerist.com/2009/05/20/a-lot-o-people-dont/

A lot o’ people don’t realize what’s really going on. They view life as a bunch o’ unconnected incidents ‘n things. They don’t realize that there’s this, like, lattice o’ coincidence that lays on top o’ everything. Give you an example; show you what I mean: suppose you’re thinkin’ about a plate o’ shrimp. Suddenly someone’ll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o’ shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin’ for one, either. It’s all part of a cosmic unconciousness.

http://consumerist.com/2009/05/05/dont-panic-theres-nothing-to/

Don’t panic.

http://consumerist.com/2009/04/03/does-the-op-know-how/

Does the OP know how to access the phones internal “counters”, and verify that much data has passed through their phone? Otherwise, someone could have cloned it, and she would get the bill as well.

http://consumerist.com/2009/03/25/i-wish-someone-would-come/

I wish someone would come out with a vaccine against lead so we could quit having all these recalls.

http://consumerist.com/2009/03/25/honestly-if-i-were-in/

Honestly if I were in danger of overdrafting with a purchase, I would rather the transaction be denied rather than have the bank do me a favor and “spare me the embarassment” of having my card decline. If someone doesn’t have $4 in their checking account to cover the purchase their morning coffee, what makes a bank think they will be able to cover the $28 racked up in overdraft fees? What even bothers me more are so called “overdraft protection” accounts which still charge you a fun little fee for the “convenience” of transfering money from your linked savings account. I just don’t understand the world we live in.

http://consumerist.com/2009/03/20/for-me-personally-ive-simply/

For me personally, I’ve simply stopped being in the stock market altogether (at least with my personal trading account– can’t do much w/ my 401ks). I’m creating my own small (very small) hedge fund that’s investing in solid, physical objects: coins, art, antiques, real estate, etc.

http://consumerist.com/2009/03/18/a-few-weeks-ago-a/

A few weeks ago a German car hit my Korean car. I’m now temporarily driving a Chevy Cobalt. This last part is the most tragic aspect of the car accident.

http://consumerist.com/2009/03/13/yes-how-about-concentrating-on/

Yes, how about concentrating on customer service instead of walking aimlessly around like an idiot?

http://consumerist.com/2009/03/10/if-banks-can-turn-q1/

If banks can turn Q1 profits it will be the beginning of the end of the recession. All this noise about “global insolvency” will go away. Keep in mind, the truly awful bears have been claiming “global insolvency” every year since 1982 because they don’t believe in leveraged banks.

http://consumerist.com/2009/03/06/my-cousin-was-a-manager/

My cousin was a manager at Commerce (before they were absorbed by TD). She said the founders knew about the vulnerabilities and didn’t care. “That’s why we have insurance.”

http://consumerist.com/2009/03/03/what-i-would-love-to/

What I would love to know is why car manufacturers put up with their cars being sold by jackasses?

http://consumerist.com/2009/03/02/youre-missing-the-point-the/

You’re missing the point. The little things are just practice for when it really counts, arguing for two hours for $5 means that when they screw you for hundreds of dollars you are well prepared for the shit storm that lies ahead. Being a crafty consumer isn’t something you can just flip on or off depending on how much money is at stake, its just like anything else, practice makes perfect.

http://consumerist.com/2009/02/27/you-know-bad-corporate-doesnt/

You know, bad corporate doesn’t excuse being rude to customers in the stores. After a friend relayed his story of being treated like a con man for bringing in a coupon in black & white (not a photocopy, just a black print), I haven’t bothered. There are plenty of acceptable subs I can pay a few bucks for without any hassle.

http://consumerist.com/2009/02/04/it-made-me-either-want/

It made me either want to buy one right away or drink a whole bottle of drain cleaner. I can’t decide which to do first.

http://consumerist.com/2009/02/03/tried-to-go-to-dennys/

Tried to go to Denny’s but it was like an hour wait with people standing outside in the cold :( Wasn’t worth it but maybe the lunchtime rush won’t be as bad.

http://consumerist.com/2009/02/03/julie-from-turbotax-here-your/

julie from TurboTax here. Your tipsters are correct. We have been working to resolve a network issue that caused intermittent delays and slow-downs for TurboTax Online today. We’re back online now. We apologize to our customers for the delay and frustration this has caused and appreciate their patience.

http://consumerist.com/2009/02/02/ive-worked-in-tv-someone/

I’ve worked in TV, someone on the board was watching porn and hit the wrong button which took it to air – simple as that.