Not really created by Aaron Sorkin. Hence, parody.

It’s Totally Unfair That This Hilarious ‘Newsroom’ Fast Food Parody Isn’t A Real Show

Walk with me. You should know there’s no love lost between some members of the Consumerist team and Aaron Sorkin. Not now, not ever. But doesn’t this country stand for something, something more than those who like West Wing and Newsroom and those who think it’s too much fast talking while walking, dammit? That’s why there are Sorkin parodies that are better than the real thing. Because this is America. We need to get this post up, damn it. We owe it to ourselves. [More]

(Eric Jou)

Burger King China’s PooPoo Smoothie Is Apparently Better Than Its Name Would Imply

Here’s another to add to the list of product names that don’t travel well: Burger King China’s PooPoo Smoothie, which may conjure up images of… well, I’d rather not say, but your inner grossed-out 8-year-old knows what I mean, but which has nothing to do with excrement and is apparently not awful. [More]

Taco Bell Employee Guilty Of Threatening Co-Worker With Knife In Front Of Customers

Taco Bell Employee Guilty Of Threatening Co-Worker With Knife In Front Of Customers

Dear Taco Bell employees: If you’re going to threaten one another with knives (which, for the record, we do not recommend), kindly do so out of the view of customers; and certainly don’t threaten your fellow employee while he or she is in the middle of taking an order from a customer. [More]

Starbucks Listens To Customers, Brings Back Some Less-Fancy Baked Goods

Starbucks Listens To Customers, Brings Back Some Less-Fancy Baked Goods

Have the pastry offerings at your local Starbucks gotten too fancy-pantsy for you in recent years? Do you miss having a slice of lemon cake with your coffee? Apparently you’re not alone, as the coffee colossus has heeded the call of complaining customers and decided to bring back foods that had been deemed not sexy enough by the chain. [More]

McDonald’s Giving Away Free Coffee For Two Weeks

McDonald’s Giving Away Free Coffee For Two Weeks

In an effort to combat recently launched breakfast efforts at Taco Bell and others, as well as trying to score some positive publicity amid months of negative news and lawsuits regarding its labor practices, McDonald’s is acting like Ebenezer Scrooge on Christmas morning, gifting free coffee with a smile for two weeks starting Monday. [More]

After Being Denied McFlurry, Woman Sets Car On Fire In McDonald’s Parking Lot

After Being Denied McFlurry, Woman Sets Car On Fire In McDonald’s Parking Lot

While I personally think the McFlurry is nothing special (probably because I spent the better part of my adolescence making top-notch Blizzards at Dairy Queen), even the world’s most ardent fan of the McDonald’s dessert would probably agree that it isn’t anything worth setting someone else’s car on fire over. [More]

Quiznos Makes Chapter 11 Bankruptcy Official, Must Win Back Customers And Franchisees

Quiznos Makes Chapter 11 Bankruptcy Official, Must Win Back Customers And Franchisees

Quiznos announced today that, as we reported a few weeks ago, the company will be filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, a move that will let the chain cut its debt load by about 2/3. That’s great news for the corporate headquarters, but will dissatisfied franchisees be happy with the plan? [More]

McDonald’s Employees In 3 States File Wage-Related Lawsuits

McDonald’s Employees In 3 States File Wage-Related Lawsuits

Over the last two days, McDonald’s employees in California, Michigan and New York have filed a total of seven class-action suits against the fast food giant and various franchise operators, alleging a range of violations, from failing to pay overtime, to making employees work undocumented hours. [More]

Hamburglars Rob McDonald’s, Caught After Crashing Into Mayor

Hamburglars Rob McDonald’s, Caught After Crashing Into Mayor

In a scenario that any number of Happy Meal-raised kids played out with cheap plastic McDonald’s toys on their living room carpet, a robbery attempt at an Illinois Golden Arches was thwarted when the robbers crashed into the mayor’s car. [More]

McDonald’s Customers: We Were Asked To Leave Because Our “30 Minutes Were Up”

McDonald’s Customers: We Were Asked To Leave Because Our “30 Minutes Were Up”

Most stories about elderly customers possibly overstaying their welcome at fast food restaurants have focused on patrons who spent hours in the eateries, often buying little more than a coffee and a snack. But an octogenarian couple in Virginia say they were recently told to leave the McDonald’s they visited every afternoon because they had stayed beyond some imaginary 30-minute time limit. [More]

Taco Bell Continues Tradition Of Wrapping Food In Other Food With “Quesarito”

Taco Bell Continues Tradition Of Wrapping Food In Other Food With “Quesarito”

In its quest to make sure that every food item is encased not just within a wrap of some sort, but in a wrap made from another food item, Taco Bell says it is currently testing an unholy hybrid of burrito and quesadilla, which is of course called a Quesarito. [More]

Chipotle Rolls Out Vegan Tofu Option Nationwide

Chipotle Rolls Out Vegan Tofu Option Nationwide

While customers have a bunch of options when building their burritos or bowls at Chipotle, the core of those components has remained reasonably unchanged for two decades. So it’s news that not only has the eatery chain made its first major menu addition in 20 years, but that this addition is tofu. [More]

McDonald’s Expanding Test Of Customizable Burger Options

McDonald’s Expanding Test Of Customizable Burger Options

Among fast food chains, McDonald’s is probably the least open to custom-made orders. Anyone who has asked for “no onions” or “no special sauce” has probably seen more than their fair share of eye rolls from a McD’s employee. But the mega-chain is thinking about changing the company’s image with the expansion of a DIY burger concept. [More]

For Better Or Worse, The Taco Bell “Waffle Taco” Is Coming To Your Town

For Better Or Worse, The Taco Bell “Waffle Taco” Is Coming To Your Town

It’s been nearly a year since the world first heard rumors of a strange breakfast beast being tested in lands to the west (i.e. California). The whispers claimed it was a Waffle Taco, while skeptics questioned whether the term “taco” was being stretched by a company whose longtime figurehead was a talking chihuahua and who also hired this guy. Now, like rock ‘n’ roll and door-to-door salesmen, the Waffle Taco, along with other breakfast stuff, is heading for your hometown whether you want it or not. [More]

If You’re Wanted By The Police, Don’t Call 911 To Complain About Burger King Order

If You’re Wanted By The Police, Don’t Call 911 To Complain About Burger King Order

You know all those crime shows where nogoodniks refuse to go to the hospital when hurt or contact the police when robbed because they are dodging arrest warrants? Those people are brilliant compared to the woman in Pennsylvania who called 911 about her bad Burger King experience without thinking about how she is wanted in another state. [More]

McDonald’s Continues To Tease Possibility Of Extended Breakfast Hours

McDonald’s Continues To Tease Possibility Of Extended Breakfast Hours

Fans of the Mc10:35 — that combo burger/McMuffin sandwich that McDonald’s customers can only make when ordering during the change-over between the breakfast and lunch menus — may have to rename their favorite fast food item. The Golden Arches says it is indeed considering the possibility of extending the hours it serves breakfast to customers. [More]

This 2-year-old Happy Meal looks only slightly less unappetizing than it did when it was purchased, and it's not because of some secret ingredient. (via Omaha.com)

Chiropractor Thinks 2-Year-Old McDonald’s Happy Meal Will Convince People To Avoid Fast Food

Once again, someone is amazed (astounded! mind-blown!) by the fact that a McDonald’s Happy Meal, if left untouched and exposed to the air for a few years, will not rot or become overrun with mold. This time, it’s a chiropractor in Nebraska who thinks that displaying an ancient cheeseburger and fries in his office will help convince people that fast food is bad for them. Except he’s wrong, at least about why the Happy Meal still looks recognizable after all this time. [More]

Dear Five Guys: Don’t Copy Customer On E-mail Where You Call Him A “Douche”

Dear Five Guys: Don’t Copy Customer On E-mail Where You Call Him A “Douche”

Have you ever penned a harshly worded e-mail about someone and then panicked for a moment when after you hit “send” out of fear that you may have copied the target of your vitriol on the message? 99.9% of the time, you did not… but when it does happen — and when you represent a major fast food chain — the results make for good Internet. [More]