With the approval of your physician, there’s no time like the present to start a rigorous exercise program. Doubly so if you own any General Electric appliances. See, Jack owns a stackable General Electric washer and dryer. GE was happy to sell him a 5-year extended service plan, but balked at actually sending a repair person to his house. Once he finally talked them into sending someone to fix his washer, he learned that he and his wife would have to move the dryer from on top of the washer themselves. What’s the problem? It only weighs 150 pounds. [More]
Heroic cripple motors to local Circuit City, drags his limbless torso in by a combination of Prince Randian-like body undulations and chin dragging. Purchases new battery for tongue-controlled wheelchair. Declines service plan. Vengeful Circuit City employee, denied a commission, cackles evilly as blasts of lightning streak behind him, casting him in penumbric silhouette. Makes handicapped customer carry wheelchair battery to the car himself.