Cablevision is lying to customers by claiming that the FCC will require all subscribers to upgrade to digital cable boxes in 2009. Digital cable boxes cost $6.50 per month, plus an extra $10.95 for digital service. Cablevision recently sent a letter to all boxless subscribers threatening to cut several channels unless they forked out a bundle of extra cash for digital service. When one of our family member called for an explanation, Cablevision shirked responsibility and placed the blame squarely on some crazy new FCC mandate. We called shenanigans and decided to call back and record our chats with several customer service representatives. Inside, the recordings of Cablevision lies and the FCC's flaccid response.

Before we get to the recordings, let's look at Cablevision's fairly innocuous letter:

40 million American families don't use a digital cable box. Assuming all cable companies use Cablevision's rates, operators stand to pick up an extra $698,000,000 per month by convincing all 40 million families to shell out an extra $17.45 for digital service. That small piece of change is worth more than the yearly GDP of several small nations.

Cablevision is well within its bounds to charge whatever it wants for service. They can tell us we need a cable box, and that service will now cost $300 per month. That's a freedom afforded by the market. What they can't do is cowardly hide behind the FCC and blame their money-grubbing on the government. Let's listen as they try to do just that:

We spoke with four representatives, each of whom blamed the FCC for forcing us to upgrade to digital cable. We asked one representative how this information was conveyed to the CSRs, and she explained that Cablevision had specifically trained them to point to the FCC.

Let's be perfectly clear: the FCC decision has absolutely nothing to do with the channels Cablevision is taking away, nor does it require anyone to upgrade to a digital cable box.

Don't believe us? Let's see if we can find someone to refute Cablevision.... Maybe Cablevision is up to the task?

We spoke with two representative at the FCC who claim that several cable companies have engaged in similar deceitful and fraudulent actions. According to the representatives, the Commission is powerless to take action. One even defended the cable companies, saying:

"Most of [the cable companies] are blaming it on the FCC. It's easier for us to take it. We have broad shoulders, you know? We're the ones who have to explain it to all the consumers anyway when they find the 800 number and then they start calling and asking us: "why is my cable company doing this to me? I want to file a complaint."

Unfortunately, there are no mandates for good customer service. I wish there was! I would really like there for to be a mandate that says: "I'm sorry, but people on the phone at my cable company have to be nice to me and they have to tell me the truth." I wish there was, but there's not.

A mandate for good customer service couldn't be enforced by the 82nd-airborne, but lying? Regulated companies should not be allowed to lie to their customers.

Thankfully, the bespectacled bossman helming the FCC takes a different view. Chairman Kevin Martin recently slammed retailers for lying about the digital transition, dishing out several million dollars worth of fines to Sears, Best Buy and Walmart. Why can cable companies lie, but not retailers?

We know that Chairman Martin is a good guy who likes consumers. Let's go back and listen to the sweet consumer-protecting swan song he sung so graciously in our defense last year:

If the cable companies had their way, you, your mother and father, or your next door neighbor could go to sleep one night after watching their favorite channel and wake up the next morning to a dark fuzzy screen. This is because the cable operators believe that it is appropriate for them to choose which stations analog cable customers should be able watch. It is not acceptable as a policy matter or as a legal matter.

Kevvy was announcing that cable companies would be required to carry broadcast channels (CBS, NBC, ABC, etc...) until 2012, and not Travel Planet or RAI, which Cablevision is preparing to yank. The Chairman did, however, explicitly endorse our right to enjoy cable service without a box, and Cablevision's right to require us to rent one:

...the Commission is not forcing consumers to purchase or lease a set top box to continue watching their favorite channels. This decision lies in the hands of the cable company. They can avoid the need for new boxes bychoosing to downconvert the digital signal into analog at their headend. This downconversion would permit analog cable subscribers to continue watching broadcast television just as they do today without disruption.

This isn't the first time Cablevision has used the DTV transition to beat customers like cash-spewing pinatas. The cable giant was previously caught sending letters to prospective customers telling them that TV would disappear in 2009 unless they started paying $240 per year, despite the availability of $20 converter boxes that will keep the Price Is Right up and running.

Cablevision is clearly engaged in a pattern of deception and fraud. The FCC has a responsibility to investigate and admonish Cablevision for their abusive conduct. Predatory upseling simply cannot be tolerated in a responsibly regulated marketplace.

PREVIOUSLY: Cablevision Uses Digital TV Transition To Upsell Basic Cable
Sears, Best Buy, Wal-Mart And Others Fined For Not Warning Consumers About Analog Obsolescence
FCC Takes Action To Prevent Cable Companies From Dropping Digital Broadcast Networks From Analog Cable

The thefts cut across all types of credit cards, but one of the common threads is that the cards are being used to purchase physical products in-store. This is a contrast to the big credit card reissue last year when stolen debit cards were being used to make fraudulent ATM withdrawals. Which retailer? Who's behind it? Nobody knows and we won't find out for some time, not until the cops catch the robbers. Until then, here's all the people on our site talking about the recent seeming surge of fraudulent activity..

A Washington Post reporter recently had her debit card number stolen and used to buy hundreds of dollars of running shoes.

Sprint has been debiting chunks of $300 from Andrew's Bank of America debit card account, a card that he has never even used at a store.

ROBDEW2: "I had a very similar thing happen to my BofA account two weeks ago. It still continued AFTER the card was canceled. I left BofA because of this. It was the first time I ever felt my money was not safe in the hands of a bank. "

CONNETICUTMRS: "nteresting, this just happened to me as well. Except with another bank (People's) and there was a Sprint Charge (Reston, VA which I think is where their bills go), Direct TV and Cablevision. All services that I don't use. They are currently investigating but I did get a provisional credit. I find it totally baffling how this can happen while I have my card in my possession. I hope to hear more comments on this, especially since I'm experiencing it now. "

DIESEL1: "This is scary, the same thing actually happened to me on 1/10/08. Bank of America alerted me that someone swiped a physical card to make purchases in states I've never been to with my BOFA check card. What scares me the most is that I live ten miles from Reston Virginia. I think something is amiss at Bank of America and they arent telling everyone the full story."

ED: "Over Christmas break I was back home with my parents. They asked me to buy them an ink cartridge while I was out, so I picked one up at Office Depot with my BoA credit card (I almost never use my debit card anymore thanks to the information you guys have spread about customer protection with credit cards). Four days later, BoA calls about some suspicious charges in two NJ Office Depots (not the one I visited). Obviously the charges weren't me, but the BoA lady told me that the card was physically swiped for the fraudulent charges. When I read that fact in your post, I thought that maybe something bigger is happening; scammer creating fake cards or something? I don't know, but I thought I'd let you know."

Amanda reports that a ton of people on her neighborhood message board say they've had their cards replaced recently, including her family. "Citibank contacted my husband and told him that they would be re-issuing him a new account number because a "major merchant" had notified authorities that its secure data had been compromised. They would not release the name of the merchant, instead saying that it was "the kind of thing we would probably hear about in the news," she writes. Then her own American Express card was used in Flordia and the same thing happened to a neighbor down the hall.

ECWIS: "This happened to my Chase Freedom card just a week or two ago. They said someone attempted to use it at Macy's and Bed Bath and Beyond for around $1,000 worth of charges. The weird thing was that I rarely use the card and I still had it in my possession..."

VMXEO: "I don't have a Chase card, however, my Citibank debit card was hit with several fraudulent charges several weeks ago. Many of my friends and co-workers (I lost count after 20) have also had their Citibak and Chase debit cards and credit cards all compromised within the last several months. The charges seem to come and go in waves, the first round being used to purchase items at drug stores in Texas, and the recent round was gas in Kissamee Florida. The fraud rep from my bank inferred there was a breach at a credit processor somewhere, but I couldn't get any more details than that. The day I went to pick up my replacement card from the bank, there was a whole stack of overnighted envelopes with replacement cards waiting at the desk. (and it was the last working day before christmas, of course). I'm still waiting to get my money back from the bank :("

MRBILL: "My Chase Visa got compromised a month or two ago; someone bought $250 worth of gas in Louisiana and then tried to use it at a Wal-Mart next door to the gas station."

SCHWARTZ: "Same thing happened to both myself and my sister (I live in Louisiana, she lives in Georgia) with our debit cards on Monday. Talked to a few other people with Chase and about half of them have had the same thing happen."

JDH2000: "I have an Amazon.com Visa through Chase and got a call today (1/2/08). I didn't really pay attention to the number they left on my answering machine. Instead, I called the number on the back of the card and was automatically transferred to their fraud prevention dept. I verified three recent charges, all of which were legit, and all of which were less than $50 each. They basically said, "thanks" and that was it.

very strange . . . ."

FELIXGOLDEN: "Just got a call from Chase within the last hour - same situation. They verified the last few transactions, though nothing was out of the ordinary. The rep told me that even though there were no fraudulent transactions, they had information that my card number was compromised and were canceling it and issuing a new one.

Someone big must have had a security breakdown. "

HERSELF_NYC: "I'm going through the same thing.
Chase canceled my card right before Xmas and sent me a new one, and then called me two days later to verify charges, and then called me again today. In fact, I sit on hold with them as I type this.

SOMETHING odd is going on."

YOUBASTID: "I'm not sure which I have - it used to be a "double platinum" but when that one expired they sent me one that was just branded "Chase." I did get a call from the fraud dept last week, but I'm assuming it's because I hadn't used the card in a while and all of a sudden charged about 500 bucks to it."

(Photo: Getty)

Overview:

These are the procedures for handling an escalation from a customer who requests to speak with a manager or threatens an executive complaint. Cingular has implemented national escalation procedures to ensure customer complaints are handled uniformly across all regions. These procedures can also be used for repeat callers regarding the same issue.

Standard Escalation

The following procedures should be used when handling customers requesting to speak with a manager.

Last Updated: 11/21/2006

Page Navigation:

* Overview
* Standard Escalation
* Executive Complaint Escalation
* Agent/Dealer Escalations
* Etailer Escalations
* Escalation Chain of Command

Related Links:

* Cingular Advantage
* Cingular Policies
* SE escalated call procedures

1. Attempt to identify and resolve the root cause of the issue.

o Empathize with the customer..
o Listen attentively to the customer's complaint and do not interrupt.
o Review the account memos.
o Ask probing questions to ensure understanding of the issue.

o Take the appropriate steps to correct the issue.

2. If the customer insists on speaking with a manager.

o Escalate the call to the employee's direct manager.
o Provide the direct manager with information regarding the customer and the issue.
o If the employee's direct manager is not available, a back-up manager with the same level of authority as the employee's direct manager should be located. Escalation Chain of Command
o In the event that there are no managers (next level) available to handle the customer's call, continue through the Escalation Chain of Command to locate someone available to speak with the customer.
o If no one is available to immediately handle the customer's call, offer the customer the option of receiving a callback from a member of management within 2 hours. The customer must receive a return call within 2 hours.

3. For complaints about departments other than Customer Care, representatives should take ownership of the customer's complaint and come to an agreeable resolution with the customer.

Executive Complaint Escalation

Executive complaints occur when a customer mentions routing their issue to an outside state or federal agency, "the president of the company" or "the person in charge". These calls should be handled with extra care to ensure Cingular's fourth "R", our Reputation, is upheld. Examples of executive complaints include, but is not limited to:

* The Attorney General
* The Federal Communications Commission (FCC)
* The Better Business Bureau
* The Public Utilities Commission
* An executive officer of Cingular Wireless, such as the President of Chief Executive Officer

1. Attempt to identify and resolve the root cause of the issue.

o Empathize with the customer.
o Listen attentively to the customer's complaint and do not interrupt.
o Review the account memos.
o Ask probing questions to ensure understanding of the issue.
o Take the appropriate steps to correct the issue.

2. If the customer is insistent on contacting an outside agency or an executive, immediately refer the customer to a Manager. Do not provide the customer with any telephone numbers to external agencies.

o Suggested Scripting: "What I'd like to do, Mr./Ms. Customer, is have you talk with my Manager to see if s/he can assist in getting this resolved".

3. Notify a manager or supervisor immediately. If the employee's direct manager is not available, notify any member of management available in the center.

o Provide the manager with details regarding attempts made to resolve the issue.
o Continue through the Escalation Chain of Command until a resolution is reached.

Agent/Dealer Escalations Agents or dealers can escalate to a manager on behalf of a customer.

* Account must be verified according to the Account Access Matrix

The following procedures should be used when handling agents/dealers requesting to speak with a manager.

1. Attempt to identify and resolve the root cause of the issue.

o Empathize with the agent/dealer.
o Listen attentively to the agent/dealer's complaint and do not interrupt.
o Review the account memos.
o Ask probing questions to ensure understanding of the issue.
o Take the appropriate steps to correct the issue.

2. If the agent/dealer insists on speaking with a manager

o Escalate the call to the employee's direct manager.
o Provide the direct manager with information regarding the customer, the agent/dealer and the issue.
o If the employee's direct manager is not available, a back-up manager with the same level of authority as the employee's direct manager should be located.Escalation Chain of Command
o In the event that there are no managers (next level) available to handle the agent/dealer's call, continue through the Escalation Chain of Command to locate someone available to speak with the agent/dealer.
o If no one is available to immediately handle the agent/dealer's call, offer the agent/dealer the option of receiving a callback from a member of management within 2 hours. The customer must receive a return call within 2 hours.

3. For complaints about departments other than Customer Care, representatives should take ownership of the customer's complaint and come to an agreeable resolution with the customer.

Etailer Escalations
Etailers should escalate to their account manager as listed below.

Cingular Support Contacts: ( For Internal Support Only )

Etailer Name
Account Manager
Operations Manager

Amazon.com
Jim Just
Tim Rackley
InPhonic
Gary Blackstad
Jay Gory
Letstalk.com
Jim Just
Tim Rackley
Mobileplaza.com
Gary Blackstad
Jay Gore
PalmOne.com
Jim Just
Staceye Dixon
Simply Wireless
Gary Blackstad
Jay Gore
DCW (Etailers) - Launch (TBD)
Gary Blackstad
Staceye Dixon
Mobile-sphere Launched on12/22/05
Gary Blackstad
Staceye Dixon

Escalation Chain of Command

The following table provides the chain of command to be followed when handling escalations.

Make every attempt to resolve the customer's issue. If it cannot be resolved, then the Representative will...
Refer to a Manager/Supervisor

If the customer's issue still cannot be resolved, then the Manager/Supervisor will...
Refer to an Area Manager

If the customer's issue still cannot be resolved, then the Area Manager will...
Refer to a Director

If the customer's issue still cannot be resolved, then the Director will...
Refer to the Regional Vice President (RVP)

If the customer's issue still cannot be resolved, then the RVP will...
Refer to the Office of the President (OOP)

LTV1 Guidelines: Retention, & Save Offers
All Customers except Former AT&T Wireless Customers

Overview

Use these guidelines to assist you with determining the proper handling procedure for LTV1 customers.

* This policy does not apply to Former AT&T Wireless customers.
* This policy does not apply to customers that are un-scored or LTV0.
o LTV/Revenue Ranking Guidelines
o If LTV is unavailable, use the ARPU to LTV Conversion Chart
* This only applies to customers with an actual scoring of LTV1 on the account.
* **Reminder: Although we do not work to actively retain these customers, we are to resolve their issues.
o Example: Customer calls in to cancel due to a billing error. Even though we do not make "save attempts", it is still necessary to review billing issue and resolve accordingly, even if this results in unintentionally saving the customer.
o Non-Example: Customer calls in to cancel because they lost their phone. Since the customer did not ask us to replace it, proceed with cancellation without discussing any replacement options.
o Although these customers are not eligible for enhanced Save offers, LTV1 customers showing eligible for upgrade in EAU checker can still receive Standard Customer Care Equipment Upgrades.
+ Note: These should not be proactively offered.

Note: The term LTV is for internal use only.

How to identify an LTV1 customer

* Telegence: Use the Life Time Value Indicator on the Profile page
o sample screenshot
* CARE: Use the green thermometer to identify customers who are LTV1 (If the thermometer is set to a "1", the customer is LTV1. With any other setting, we would follow normal upgrade procedures.)
o sample screenshot
* Clarify: The indicators are just below your screen options at the top right of your screen
o sample screenshot

Last Updated: 07/16/2007

Requests to cancel
Do not transfer LTV1 customers to the Customer Relations Team.

Step

Action

1

* Do not attempt to Save LTV1 customers

o "Do not attempt to save" means:
+ Express empathy upon hearing that the customer wants to leave us
+ Treat the customer politely and with respect
+ Resolve the customer's service - or bill-related issue: i.e., "fix what's broken."
+ Do not offer Save-only rate plans, enhanced equipment pricing, or retention-related credits.
+ Do not proactively discuss The AT&T Advantages
+ Reply to customer's cancel request with a positive response
+ Use the appropriate cancel reason code in Clarify

o "Do not attempt to save" does NOT mean:
+ Waive ETF for customers with more than 12 months remaining on contract
+ Proactively offer or suggest that the customer cancel their account
+ Antagonize the customer in an effort to "make" them want to cancel
+ Treat the customer rudely or disrespectfully
+ Tell the customer that we do not value their business
+ Tell the customer that they cost our company money
+ Suggest in words or actions that the customer should go to one of our competitors

* Do not proactively make a save offer

Suggested scripting: "Mr/Ms. Customer, I understand you would like to cancel your wireless service. I can assist you with closing your service with AT&T."

2 Customer Relations Team Only: Track the call as Non-Save Opportunity in the Save Tracking Tool (Reason Code: LTV1 non-save attempt)

3 Determine if Early Termination Fee applies

* If less than 12 months remaining on contract:
o the ETF is waived.
* If more than 12 months remaining on contract:
o follow existing ETF policies to determine whether or not ETF should be waived based on cancel reason.
+ Refer to Early Termination Fees (ETF).

4 Proceed with the cancellation

* Use the appropriate cancel reason code to track the cancellation.

Talking Points/Suggested Scripting for LTV1 Customers

Customer asks: If I decide to cancel or port my number will you offer a special offer?
CSR: "We realize you have many choices for your wireless service, and I appreciate that you have selected AT&T. However, we are unable to offer any special incentives in addition to what is currently on your account."

Customer asks: I have been an AT&T customer in good standing for 10 years and have always qualified for a special offers and promotions. Don't you have any special incentives available to keep me as a customer? Isn't there anything you can offer to keep me as a customer?"
CSR: "Our promotions and discounts change as we change our offers. As we can, we do try to offer appropriate promotions to customers. Your account does not qualify for the incentives similar to what you were previously offered on this account."

Customer asks: "My buddy is on the same plan as me and you offered him a free phone and an even better rate plan when he called in to cancel. How come you aren't offering me anything?"
CSR: "The privacy of your account, and that of all our customers, is very important to AT&T, so I can't speak to what your friend experienced. However, at this time, we are not featuring any special incentives for this account."

Q&A (for CSR reference only, do not discuss with customer)

What is LTV?
Life Time Value (LTV) measures the subscriber's overall value to the company (based on revenue, account plan, on and off-network and data usage, length of service, etc . ). LTV1 accounts are customers who create a negative profit for the company. In most cases, these customers actually cost the company money each month.

How are these customers different from EON customers?
LTV1 customers are unprofitable to the company for one or more of the following reasons: revenue, account plan, on and off-network and data usage, length of service, etc . EON customers are unprofitable solely for their excessive off-network usage. EON customers are in direct violation of AT&T's Terms and Conditions and must change their calling habits to be eligible to keep their AT&T service. Keep in mind some EON customers may be LTV1 based on their off network usage as this is one of the factors used to determine LTV.

Why are we changing the way we handle LTV1 customers?
To contribute to our Revenue goal, we are no longer going to save LTV 1 customers. Small percentages (less than 5%) of our customers, through a variety of factors, do not produce revenue for our company though they may be good customers in other aspects. This decision to change the way we handle these customers may allow the remaining 95% of our customers to take advantage of even greater discounts on equipment or rate plans when upgrading their service.

What if an account does not show the same LTV score for all lines?
There are two scenarios that may cause this to happen:

1. A line on a family talk plan disconnects. The remaining active lines are then re-scored and may get a lower or higher LTV score. Then the disconnected line is restored with the old LTV score. The different score is being caused by the line being disconnected and restored. If a line is cancelled and then restored, it will have the last score that was applied to the account.

2. Individual lines on separate accounts merge and become a family talk account. The LTV will not be adjusted to use the combined account financials until the next full billing cycle.

If you find an account that does not have the same score for all lines, you will need to use the following scenarios to determine the appropriate LTV score to apply to the account.

Scenario 1: Account with two lines

If Line 1 is ...

And Line 2 is ...

Use the following treatment for all lines ...

LTV1

LTV2

LTV2

LTV1

LTV3

LTV2

LTV1

LTV4

LTV3

LTV1

LTV5

LTV3

Scenario 2: Account with more than two lines

If Line 1 is ...

And Line 2-5 are ...

Use the following treatment for all lines ...

LTV1

LTV2-5

LTV2-5 (Use highest observed LTV)

LTV2-5

LTV1

LTV1

Will I receive a Zero call from QA if I do or do not make a Save attempt on this call?
No. The quality team will be notified of this process and will not issue zero calls for no save attempts on these accounts.

Are we allowing LTV1 Family Talk customers to add lines at new service discount pricing?
Yes. As long as the customer is not canceling another line at the same time (phantom churn), the customer is able to add new lines at the new service discount pricing.

Retention Procedures

For all customers except Former AT&T Wireless Customers

* For Non Converted Customers Only
* CSRs should not attempt to save LTV1 customers.
o For how to assist LTV1 customers, refer to: LTV1 Guidelines
* Follow normal save procedures for Former AT&T Wireless customers.

Retention Procedures

Customer Interactions provide the steps for handling the most common disconnect reasons:

* Affordability
* Billing Errors
* Competition
* Data Services
* Death
* Equipment Issues
* Getting Free Service from Employer
* Military Transfer
* Moving
* Network Quality
* No Use
* Phantom Churn
* Poor Customer Service
* Unwilling to Give Reason

Last Updated: 06/19/2007

Reason for Cancellation

Scripting &
Cingular Advantage

Resolution, Policy, & Scripting

Reference/Training Guides

Affordability

* Customer reports that the service is costing too much money
* The customer complains about the price of the monthly recurring charge and asks about the contract end date.
* The customer asks when their contract is up and says that the service is too expensive.
* The customer reports that they have been seeing deals with other carriers that are far less expensive.

* "Mr./Ms. _____, we value you as a customer. We have a variety of rate plans that would allow you to enjoy the security and benefits of a wireless phone. I have already reviewed your account and can offer you the best value in wireless that will meet your needs."
* Rate Plan Review and Change Policy Scripting

Cingular Advantage

* Mobile To Mobile - Enjoy unlimited calling to over 61-million other Cingular customers. Are your friends and family part of Cingular's growing community? Use this tool to look up their numbers.
* Rollover Minutes - Think all rate plans are the same? Think again. Cingular includes a benefit no other carrier offers: Rollover Minutes. That means if you don't talk as much one month, Cingular lets you keep your unused minutes for next month. Cingular also lets you share minutes between lines. So if Dad talks less than Mom, Mom can use the minutes Dad doesn't use. Makes sense, doesn't it?
* Unity Plans -
The largest home, business and wireless calling community in America! Customers can enjoy unlimited calling between more than 100 million AT&T and BellSouth home, business and Cingular Wireless phones.
* Online Account Management
o Review and pay your bill* - Why spend money on stamps when you can pay bills online?
o Check your minutes and data usage - Find out how much you have left before your next billing cycle.
o Schedule AutoPay* - Instead of remembering payment due dates, schedule AutoPay and make it automatic.

* Apologize for the problem and let them know that you would like the opportunity to resolve the issue.
* Perform a Calling Plan Review.
* Review the customer's account to determine why the bill may be high.
* Ensure the customer is being billed correctly.
* If the bill is high due to overage, provide the customer with the details of their current price plan.
* If the customer states that they did not understand their price plan details, and requests a credit, offer to credit up to 50% of the overage (review the account to be sure that the customer has not already received this type of credit during the previous year).
* If the customer inquires about a new price plan, discuss the current price plans and recommend a plan that is best suited to the customer's usage.
o Consider feature packages, this may also contribute to higher bills (text package, data package, e-mail, international calling, etc
* Ask the customer how they use the phone.
* Let the customer know you think there is a way we can save them some money
o Give cost benefit - what will the plan save them monthly, annually, etc.
* Let the customer know that we care and are willing to help.
* Is customer switching to another carrier to save money?
* If ETF will apply, emphasize that it is very expensive and will hit all at once
* If due to lost job, show benefit of having during job-hunt

Overview:

* Customers who report they cannot afford our service are usually being honest with us.
* This is an opportunity for us to help our customer by providing a cost effective alternative to whatever service plan they currently use.
* In most instances you will find that the customer is willing to entertain an offer or different rate plan.
* When we help a customer who reports they cannot afford our service, we can show that we are flexible and can meet their ever-changing needs. This is a great way to strengthen our relationship with our customer.

Bill Adjustments

* Bill Adjustment Policy
* Bill Adjustment Scenarios

Billing Issues Log

* Issues Logs (Quick Start)

Policies

* Policy for Rate Plan Review and Change.

Training

* Saving in Difficult Cases: Lack of Funds
* Selling GSM CSE
* AT&T Unity Plans Provide Unlimited Mobile-To-Landline Calling

Rollover

* The Real Value of Rollover: Rolling Minutes Into Dollars (Non Converted)
* The Real Value of Rollover: Rolling Minutes Into Dollars (Converted Customers)

VIP LookUp Site

Billing Errors

"This is the second time my bill is wrong. I don't want to have to call every month to get my bill fixed, so just cancel the service."

* "I'm sorry that you are having problems with your bill, and I would like the opportunity to resolve the issue for you."
* Bill Adjustment Scripting

Cingular Advantage

* Mobile To Mobile - Enjoy unlimited calling to over 61-million other Cingular customers. Are your friends and family part of Cingular's growing community? Use this tool to look up their numbers.
* Rollover Minutes - Think all rate plans are the same? Think again. Cingular includes a benefit no other carrier offers: Rollover Minutes. That means if you don't talk as much one month, Cingular lets you keep your unused minutes for next month. Cingular also lets you share minutes between lines. So if Dad talks less than Mom, Mom can use the minutes Dad doesn't use. Makes sense, doesn't it?
* Unity Plans -
The largest home, business and wireless calling community in America! Customers can enjoy unlimited calling between more than 100 million AT&T and BellSouth home, business and Cingular Wireless phones.
* Network Coverage
* Exclusive Phones
* 30-Day Return Policy
* Web Offers
* Our Technology
o 3G
o GSM
o EDGE
* Online Account Management

* Apologize for the problem that the customer is experiencing, & let them know that you would like the opportunity to resolve the issue.
* Review the customer's account to validate a billing error has occurred.
* Review the Billing Issues log to identify known billing issues.
* Validate: After validating the customer was billed incorrectly, adjust the account appropriately.
* Correct: Be sure to correct any mistakes on the customer's account that are causing the billing error.
* Reassure the customer that the issue has been corrected, and will not cause future billing errors.

Bill Adjustments

* Bill Adjustment Policy
* Bill Adjustment Scenarios

Billing Issues Log

* Issues Logs (Quick Start)

Competition

* Customer mentions a specific offering
* Customer makes a comparison between our service and a competitor's service, either with regard to promotions, plans, coverage, equipment pricing, etc.
* Customer talks about an associate who has different service

* Scripting for - Competitor's Offer

Cingular Advantage

* Mobile To Mobile - Enjoy unlimited calling to over 61-million other Cingular customers. Are your friends and family part of Cingular's growing community? Use this tool to look up their numbers.
* Rollover Minutes - Think all rate plans are the same? Think again. Cingular includes a benefit no other carrier offers: Rollover Minutes. That means if you don't talk as much one month, Cingular lets you keep your unused minutes for next month. Cingular also lets you share minutes between lines. So if Dad talks less than Mom, Mom can use the minutes Dad doesn't use. Makes sense, doesn't it?
* Unity Plans -
The largest home, business and wireless calling community in America! Customers can enjoy unlimited calling between more than 100 million AT&T and BellSouth home, business and Cingular Wireless phones.
* Network Coverage
* Exclusive Phones
* 30-Day Return Policy
* Web Offers
* Our Technology
o 3G
o GSM
o EDGE
* Online Account Management

* Thank the customer for bringing their concern/question to your attention
* Display a sense of urgency while figuring out what is best for the customer
* Probe for what about the competitive offering or service seems better or more appropriate
* Identify what the competitor is offering.
* Address concerns about differences in service (coverage quality, customer service, etc.)
* Find out what is appealing about the competitor, as it compares to us and their current services
* Offer to analyze their exact usage and our offerings, and to compare them to the competition, to help the customer decide what is best
* Use the customer's account to determine if the competitor's offer is right for the customer.
* Check the competitor's Web site for rules and restrictions regarding the offer.

Key Points

Refer to the appropriate information on this page to address customers root cause of dissatisfaction (Network, Billing Issue)

Return to list of cancel reasons.

* Selling GSM CSE
* AT&T Unity Plans Provide Unlimited Mobile-To-Landline Calling

Competitor Web Sites

* Sprint/Nextel
* T Mobile
* Verizon

Handset Offers

* Equipment Upgrades Quick Start
* VIP LookUp Site

Rollover

* The Real Value of Rollover: Rolling Minutes Into Dollars (Non Converted)
* The Real Value of Rollover: Rolling Minutes Into Dollars (Converted Customers)

Data Services

* "I'm sorry that you are having problems with the service, and I would like the opportunity to resolve the issue for you."

Cingular Advantage

* Our Technology
o 3G - The next generation of wireless. Blazing speed and even more capability
o GSM - Nationwide GSM/GPRSGSM is the technology that enables you to have true voice quality and unparalleled global roaming capabilities.
o EDGE - Makes accessing the Internet, downloading files and streaming video on your phone faster than ever
o Best Coverage in America - Cingular has the largest digital voice and data network in America.

Data Networks:

* Broadband Connect
o Advantages
o Cancellation and Retention (Quick Start)

Cancel requests are either handled by Customer Care or the Customer Relations Team. This resolution provides the steps to ensure proper handling. Every effort should be made by all assisting representatives to reduce churn and retain our customers.

* Policy
* Customer Care Procedures
* Expectations

Policy

* Service may be cancelled at any time; however, an Early Termination Fee (ETF) may apply if the service is still under contract.
* FamilyTalk plans must have more than one line of service remaining active in the group
o If not, a new rate plan must be selected.
* Cancellations should be made effective the last day of the billing cycle whenever possible to avoid possible Prorated Charges
o The option to cancel immediately should not be proactively made to a customer.
o Only offer the option to cancel immediately if the customer pushes back on the End Of Bill Cycle Cancel or if they qualify for an immediate cancellation according to policy (example: Phantom Churn)
* If the caller is requesting to cancel the service due to Account Holder death and there is a password on the account, attempt to verify the password. If the caller cannot verify the password, verify the SSN. If the caller cannot verify the SSN, they are an unverified caller and cannot cancel the account.

Customer Care Procedures

Step

Action

1 Determine who handles the call:

* Probe to determine the reason for the cancel request

Customer Care handles the following cancel scenarios:

* All customers except Former AT&T Wireless Customers:
o Review the Lifetime Value Indicator
+ LTV1: refer to LTV1 Treatment Guidelines - Customer Care
+ If anything other than LTV1, proceed to Step #2.
+ Accounts with past due balances. If the customer does not wish to bring the account current:
# And does not have a billing dispute, the call will be handled by Receivables Management (RM).
# And has a billing dispute, the cancellation should be processed by Customer Care.
* If the account is eligible for reinstatement after the billing dispute has been resolved, transfer to the Customer Relations Team.
* If the account is not eligible for reinstatement after the billing dispute has been resolved transfer to RM.
* For cancel request within the 30 day return period go to Cancellations and Return within 30 days from Activation to determine who handles the cancellation
* For North Central region only:
o Requests to Cancel a Combined Billing Account:
+ If the account has been activated for more than 30 days, transfer the call to the Combined Billing Group.
o Cancel due to death of account holder or user:
+ Do not transfer to the Customer Relations Team
+ Continue being empathetic
+ Do not make any offer to save the line
+ Gently tell the caller you can cancel immediately
+ Review all options to verify that no additional services are active under the deceased customers' liability, i.e. full name search, user name search. If no additional accounts come up then gently asked the caller to allow you to search for any additional service under the deceased customer's liability using their full SSN. If they agreed, request the SSN and perform the search. Input the social security number into the billing system as the customer gives it to you. You should not write this number down.
+ If multiple lines exist in the account owner's name, gently probe to see if there is a user who would want to continue service by performing a Transfer of Service.

All other cancel request scenarios are handled by the Customer Relations Team; proceed to step 2.

2 Determine if an attempt to resolve the customer's issue should be made prior to transferring to Customer Relation Team:

IF

THEN

* Customer has less than 6 months remaining on their current contract/out of contract

An attempt to resolve the customer's issue should not be made prior to transfer

* Proceed to step 3

* Customer has more than 6 months remaining on their current contract

An attempt to resolve the customer's issue should be made prior to transfer

* Identify and address the root cause of a customer request for cancellation.
* Attempt to retain the customer by using the appropriate Retention Procedures and promoting The AT&T Advantages.

Should the customer still insist on canceling, proceed to step 3.

3 Transfer the customer to the Customer Relations Team:

* Warm transfer the call to the Customer Relations Team using the appropriate Speed Dial Number
* Provide representative with Account name, caller's name, account verification, and a brief description of the cancel request
o See: Transfer to Customer Relations Team for further information.
* If there is a wait time of over 2 minutes,
o Take the call back and say to the customer, "Thank you for holding, at this time there is a long hold time for that department; therefore, please allow me to assist you with this request."
o If not yet attempted, try to save the customer using the appropriate Retention Procedures
o If unsuccessful, proceed with the proper cancellation steps:
+ For cancels within the 30 day return period, see Cancel Service and Return Equipment (Buyer's Remorse)
+ For cancels outside of the 30 day Return Period, see the appropriate system steps:
# CARE
# Telegence
o Set appropriate Expectations (below)
* If during the course of resolving the issue, you are disconnected from the caller, immediately call the Customer Relations group and they will call the customer back.

Expectations

When processing a cancellation, setting proper expectations is paramount to ensure satisfaction and reducing repeat calls. Relay the following points to the customer:

* The customer can resume their service within 60 days to avoid any activation fees and have their ETF(s) reversed, if applicable; however, we cannot guarantee their number(s) will be available upon reinstatement.
* Advise of the date of cancellation
* Verify final billing address
o Refer to Billing Address Change Policy
o For customers on paperless billing, make sure you change customer to a paper bill to ensure they receive their final invoice.
* Advise the customer of their final invoice for service up to the date of cancellation, as well as any applicable early termination fees.
o Refer to Final Bill.
* For deposit refund information, if applicable, see the Deposit Refund Policy
* If there is a credit balance on a cancelled account, there is a 60-day lag-period before the refund check is processed.
* Some customers may have signed independent equipment agreements, in addition to the contract they signed with us, with certain indirect (non-AT&T) locations.
o Should the customer inquire about 3rd party contracts, refer them to their activating location, as we do not have access to see if there are contractual agreements in addition to their contract with AT&T.
* If the cancellation was due to relocating to a non-AT&T service area and an ETF is being billed, the customer can have the ETF reversed by submitting proof of residence for their new address.
o For details on proof of residence, including acceptable forms of proof and where to send documentation, see Early Termination Fees (ETF).
* AutoPay customers- advise the customer that AutoPay will automatically cancel 90 days after the final invoice has been paid.
o Should they choose to resume service within the reinstatement period, they will not need to enroll again.
* Customers who cancel service and reinstate to "active" within 59 days, retain the Rollover minute balance.
o For additional information, refer to: Rollover Minutes

For Clarify Level 3 Need: "Cancellation and retention"

(Photo: mrbill)

Today, we went to the grocery store and happened across the pet food section. Most of the bags just had cats on them. Two more packages showed female owners cradling a cat in their arm. Both were made by Purina.

Packaging design choices are often made at random, often by studying bird bones, lofting balloons, examining the lumps on men's heads, and by games of spin the bottle, so it's just one of life's little coincidences that one of the images burned into humanity's collective consciousness shows up on a bag of cat food. Marketing isn't about manipulation, it's about fun, family, and togetherness.

More snaps, inside...

And for editorial balance, some dog food.

— BEN POPKEN

It's not like an artist doing a "riff," or an "homage," rather, Purina is tapping into a thematic trope deeply embedded in mankind's consciousness. That's kinda creepy, weird, and funny, to boot.

Some people worship their cats so we guess it makes sense. Hey, at least Purina Natural doesn't have wheat gluten. — BEN POPKEN

(Thanks to Thomas!)

This is the first we've heard of it. Anyone else receive a similar call recently? If you do receive a fraud alert call, ask questions and see if it's related to this mystery businesses' lax security procedures. The goal being to find out what business this is. — BEN POPKEN

Just pray the car companies had good beta testers to weed out the bugs... — BEN POPKEN

The funny thing is that when I made that graphic I was referencing a biker logo and it was only brought up to me later that it was the SS skull.

For an artist who traffics so heavily in appropriating fascist symbolism and iconography, Shep Fairey might be well served by picking up a few history books.

As George Santayana said, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." — BEN POPKEN

• Shep Fairey talks about "the politics of aesthetics."

• From Shep Fairey's OBEY manifesto: "The OBEY sticker.... has no meaning but exists only to cause people to react, to contemplate and search for meaning in the sticker."

• A reader reports eBay pulled his Walmart Totenkopf shirt auctionfor being "Hateful or Discriminatory," no word on the thousands of other auctions of Nazi memorabilia.

• Day 6, shirt still on sale at Walmart.

• A conversation we had with graphic designer Daniel Edelman.

karlhungus: I can tell you want happened with those walmart t-shirts
karlhungus: speaking from experience
karlhungus: working on stuff like that
karlhungus: not nazi stuff
karlhungus: but the (former) popularity of the skull and crossbones type stuff
fakeout: alrighty, spill the beans
karlhungus: did I show you the look book and packages I did for that ralph lauren ivy cologne?
fakeout: yeah
fakeout: i remember there were some skullies in there
karlhungus: well what has to be understood is that alot of the imagery used by skull and bones and the underground secret society aesthetic comes from nazi imagery
karlhungus: because the real skull and bones has long time connections to the 3rd reich
karlhungus: and alot of iconography was translated, carried over
karlhungus: now smart people that we were
karlhungus: stopped from continuing with alot of really nice stuff because when you put it up on the wall on its own it looked like we were calling for racial purity
karlhungus: I could show you hundreds of designs that had that problem
karlhungus: where you are sitting at your computer, grabbing crap off the internet, making something cool and not really thinking about it
karlhungus: but like I said, we had the sense to stop and say "wait a second, hiel hitler"
karlhungus: but it would seem that their "design team" didn't have the piece of mind to think in the same way
fakeout: right
karlhungus: I think that its an amazing logo on its own, all things considered
karlhungus: and its that the average walmart shopper either wouldn't know it if they saw it, or would approve if they knew it
karlhungus: a couple of things happen
karlhungus: one, the link between skull and bones/secret society and the 3rd reich is deep seeded in idea and imagery
karlhungus: and two
karlhungus: you have to be an active filter for it as you work with it
karlhungus: and three
karlhungus: that whole look is over, unless you are ralph lauren and know how to make it look good over and over again
karlhungus: just look it up on google, and you could construct related design in an hour
fakeout: the other thing, SS imagery is royalty free
fakeout: we were thinking someone working from a flash tatoo book
karlhungus: no, you are exactly right
fakeout: there's other items in the "no boundaries" line that have tatoo imagery on them
karlhungus: thats a huge part of it
karlhungus: thats good, you hit a big nail on the head there
karlhungus: alot of ancient ritual text/imagery as well as stuff like that are outside of the realm of copy right
karlhungus: copyright
karlhungus: most of it you can buy in clip art books at the local barnes and noble
karlhungus: or find on internet sites that house high res scans of pages
karlhungus: so, they just clinched their butt-cheeks and hoped that no one would notice
fakeout: or no one had any idea
karlhungus: its both
karlhungus: god that was the most unpleasant project of my life
karlhungus: like, you need to stop every so often and work out what's acceptable and stop it from leaving the sketch stage
karlhungus: and those above simple images are just throwing together a couple of elements from "the bank" as it were, and so it can easily head south
karlhungus: or head hitler
karlhungus: and as I said, its just simple sketching, in five minutes a can create a new symbol for the nazi party

The best Black Friday deals for Best Buy, Circuit City, Walmart, Meijer and Target, inside...

Best Buy

• Garmin nuvi 350 GPS Navigation System 499.99
• Insignia 2GB Video Mp3 player 99.99
• Hitachi 51" Widescreen HDTV (Projection) 699.99
• PNY 1GB USB Flash Drive 14.99

Circuit City

• Creative Labs 8GB Zen Photo Mp3 Player 129.99
• Polaroid 2GB Secure Digital Memory Card 29.99
• Optoma DLP Digital Media Projector and Projector Screen 449.99
• Grey's Anatomy Season 1 DVD 8.99

Walmart

• ilo 26-inch LCD HDTV - 618.00
• Sony PSP Video Game System 169.24 (Early Bird)
• Fisher Price Can Play Piano Teaching System 64.77
• Krempasky Blogging Workstation 49.96

Meijer

• Sylvania 37-inch High Definition LCD TV 699.99
• 24 TV Series DVD Seasons 1-4 24.00 each
• Samsung A503 Digital Camera 99.99

Target

• Easy Bake Classic Oven 13.00
• Samsung Mini-DV Camcorder 179.99
• Atari Flashback Game System 19.87

Maybe now that it's on CNN, Walmart will actually finally remove the shirts from their shelves. Yes, this is so important, we put two adverbs together. — BEN POPKEN

Recent updates to this story.
Backstory.

Looks like Walmart didn't just rip off the Nazis, they also ripped off artist Shep Fairey, known for his "OBEY GIANT" creations.

Both have the same skull. Shep's has, "Defiant Since '89". Walmart's says, "Since 1978."

Shirt was on sale at Obey's merch shop Karmaloop, though it's currently out of stock (google cache here). You can still get it through a few other distributors.

We venture that Walmart's ripoff is not just a photoshop of the OBEY design. Note the inset star on the Obey design. We posit that Walmart's designer researched a clean version of the Totenkopf skull and deliberately ignored that it was found in the "Copyright Free Nazi Imagery" section. While the mechanical process of Walmart's recreation is indeterminate, the inspiration is clear...

Special thanks to reader Schvitzatura for pointing this out, on four different posts, at 3:04 PM, 15 minutes after we emailed Walmart's PR firm again to ask when they were planning on removing these shirts from the sales floor.

A call to a NJ area Walmart confirmed the shirts were still for sale today, six days after they were first spotted and four days after Walmart's PR firm promised their removal.

For your convenience, here's a translation of what that German Obey:Giant tshirt site has to say about the "Obey Defiant Skull" shirt:

Shep Fairey and friends knew their shirt is naughty, but apparently, Walmart's designers didn't. — BEN POPKEN

New RFID turnstiles mean Citibank customers with enabled cards or credit wands need never fumble for a Metrocard again.

Reader C-side spotted this one at at the Broadway/Lafayette subway station in Manhattan.

Eventually, RFID will spread to ever every transaction point. They're already at McDonald's. Forward-thinking churches will use RFID collection plates.

Good thing the security of broadcasting one's credit card information via transponder is completely worked out... — BEN POPKEN

Another picture, inside.

In mid-October, reader trai_dep received a letter. It contained a petition for the city council to reconsider and repeal the ordinance or have it be moved to a people's vote.

A small note at the bottom said, "sponsored by Wal-Mart Stores, Inc."

Trai_dep says Walmart has been "blizzarding the city" with these letters.

The full letter, scanned and reprinted, inside. — BEN POPKEN

Click any picture to pop up large.

Consumer Service Associate Sasha D tells The Conusmerist:

"Fusion 18th B-day promo list is provided by American Student List; they compile names from many sources. Consumers are welcome to call American Student List directly at 516-248-6100 and ask for their name to be dropped off THEIR list."

Really nice touch with the ALL CAPS. Okay, it might be THEIR list, but YOU'RE still using to send RAZORS in the MAIL to ME. Not that we mind, just that when multi-bladed objects arrive in on our doorstep unexpectedly, we like to know where they're coming from.

American Student List is a service offered by EURO RSCG 4D, which is a direct marketing division of EURO RSCG, an international advertising agency. Here's a list of all the different ways they can slice and dice your personal information and sell it to marketers.

So it could still be the Selective Service, but before it gets to Gillette, it goes through American Student List.

Previously: How Did Gillette Know It Was My Birthday??!

Inside, the full text of the email.

October 17, 2006

Dear Mr. Popken,

Thank you for contacting Gillette. We are anxious to see that our products meet your needs and expectations. We appreciate your interest and hope you find this information helpful.

In regards to your inquiry, Fusion 18th B-day promo list is provided by American Student List; they compile names from many sources. Consumers are welcome to call American Student List directly at 516-248-6100 and ask for their name to be dropped off THEIR list.

Again, thank you for taking the time to contact us. If you have any additional questions or comments, please call me toll-free at 1-800-GILLETTE (445-5388). We always appreciate the opportunity to serve our customers.

Sasha D.
Consumer Service Associate
010835431A

They pretend to work for Con Edison but are actually hardball sales people for IDT, trying to get you locked into one of their variable rate energy plans.

Look out for a man and an African-American woman sporting a ConEd binder and an IDT photo ID.

"They said I had to sign something and was being overcharged by ConEdison," says our tipster, "and claimed to work for the company that supplies ConEdison. Good thing I read Consumerist."

Our reader is going around putting up warning notes on his neighbor's doors. He says, "I feel bad for my Hispanic neighbors."

Related: Why IDT Energy Is A Scam

Everyone is entitled to an opinion but they should not get in the way of facts. Dell does not design its products as you report. Dell, the acting head of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission and others are on record as saying the root cause of the battery issue is a Sony manufacturing issue — and not a Dell design issue. If that is not enough, then perhaps Apple's recall today of 1.8 million Sony batteries will drive home reality. Speaking for Dell, we have worked very closely with Sony, are confident they have they rectified the problem, and we have every confidence in their batteries going forward.

Pope, thank you for reaching out. Now the niceties are out of the way... Dell doesn't design its own products? Well then who does? Guess that's one way to keep costs down.

Just kidding, we are deliberately misconstruing your comment for comedic effect.

But seriously, what then do you make of what a Sony spokesman says to Consumer Affairs at the bottom of this article? ""We believe the fire was caused by the combination of batteries and system architecture."

Question mark.

Second Question. Beyond what others are saying, is Dell saying that architecture in no way contributed to the battery fires?

At Pope's request, we're extending a comments invite so perhaps we have a new comments participant.

• If the husband calls up and you see the wife's name is on the account, say the wife needs to call. When the wife calls, says the husband needs to call. Keep juggling untill the give up or both call in at the same time.
• If the customer asks, "Are you going to bill me for this?" Say no and the customer hangs up, thinking they canceled. See, the retainer himself isn not going to bill him, AOL is.
• Use rebuttal after rebuttal until the customer gets confused and thinks his account is cancelled.

Listen to the interview in full below.

Transcript after the jump...

MUSIC IN

CONSUMERIST: America Online gave him trips to Mexico and thousands of dollars in bonuses. He was in the elite, an expert at getting people to not cancel AOL. But he didn't there by being Mr. Nice Guy. Consumerist.com interviews a former AOL retainer.

MUSIC UP

CONSUMERIST: What would be some examples of some of the tricks you had up your sleeve?

RETAINER: "Are you gonna get billed for this?" Well, I'm not gonna bill you.

CONSUMERIST: Heh.

RETAINER: Well, I'm not. America Online is.

CONSUMERIST: Right...

RETAINER: A lot of these tricks I came up with myself, and showed others, and my boss would ask me, "Hey, can you please show these other people here how to do that?" Member calls up and says they want to cancel, and the wife's name is on the account, the husband's calling, so "Oh, you need to have your wife call." The wife calls and, "Ohp. Your husband needs to call."

CONSUMERIST: Hmm.

RETAINER: As long as you can get them to not cancel the account, you get a small bonus.

CONSUMERIST: Mmhm. I received an email from another person, he's claiming people having anxiety attacks, people...

RETAINER: Yeah. When I first got into the saves department, had a little bit of anxiety myself, and went to the doctor and complained about not being able to sleep, and having problem, trouble eating. He told me it was because of the anxiety of the job. And he gave me some medicine to help take that edge off. And it helped, but I had to take medicine to actually, make it through those, probably first three or four months there until I got acclimated to the environment.

CONSUMERIST: Mhmm.

RETAINER: So yes, the stress is quite a lot. People have anxiety attacks, people have been taken away in ambulances from the call center.

CONSUMERIST: In the manual we uploaded, there's been talk about this crazy program called, "Merlin."

RETAINER: It's just an interface allowing them to look at the accounts and change things in accounts. What you really want to look at is the Retention Buddy. That's the software that was written specifically for the saves department. And had rebuttals, and questions, and basically, how to handle just about any situation from any member that called in. Like, oh, we have great Parental Controls that you can use that will help... keep your daughter from these things. And if they said no to that, they would with a second rebuttal and a third and you used as many as you could until the person got ticked off or you confused 'em enough till where they thought the account was cancelled.

MUSIC UP

CONSUMERIST: What eventually made you decide to leave?

RETAINER: They started really cutting back on the money. My calls were listened to quite a bit and one call got listened to and I didn't do a couple of things and they took $2500 from me.

CONSUMERIST: For one call?

RETAINER: For one call being off. I just didn't feel good about what I was doing anymore. The job I have now, it's high pressure, I have a lot of responsibility, but it's nowhere near the stressful levels that it was at AOL.

CONSUMERIST: Probably don't need a prescription to get through your day.

RETAINER: Nope, not at all, no more of that.

CONSUMERIST: Right...right.

CONSUMERIST: Our anonymous interviewee told us that he was not only not surprised at John's behavior during Vincent's phone call, it was typical, and certainly not the worst an AOL rep could muster. Join Consumerist.com next time when we speak with another retainer... who paints a graphic portrait of life inside an Oklahoma call center, and how far they went to deal with the pressures.

OK: There were people selling on the floor! You could get meth, you could get pot...

CONSUMERIST: All that and more, on Consumerist.com, your number one source for the disco party over AOL's grave.

MUSIC OUT

Related:

• AOL Retention Manual Revealed
• NYT Notes AOL Manual Upload, Questions Raised
• AOL Updates Retention "Offer Matrix"
• AOL Internal Memos, After Vinny's Call

Read our critique of the contents here.

Thank you, disaffected former AOL retainer.

After the jump, a few select preview pages...

A shot from the flowchart.

Related:

• AOL Retention Manual Revealed
• AOL Employees Slander Vincent Ferrari On Company Time
• BREAKING: Spitzer To Talk To AOL, Again
• AOL Updates Retention "Offer Matrix"
• AOL Internal Memos, After Vinny's Call
• We Interview Vincent Ferrari, AOL Canceller
• Dead Defeat AOL
• AOL Canceler on Today Show
• AOL Wants to Sell "Internet" to the Dead
• Consumerist on CNBC
• AOL Apologizes For Infamous Cancel Call
• The Best Thing We Have Ever Posted: Reader Tries To Cancel AOL
• AOL Officially Sucks More Than Anything Else

A plain manila envelope arrived on our desk this week. Inside was the eighty-one paged "Enhanced Sales Training for AOL Retention Consultants" manual. Upon opening, the flowchart, "Guide to a World-Class Retention Call," fell out.

It's amazing that the story has come this far, that Vincent could record his attempt to cancel AOL, that recording would shoot to national TV, and now, a mole has sent us incriminating company documents.

One thing quickly becomes evident after reading the pages of tips and tactics. Callers are viewed not as customers, but prospects. Under the heading, "Think of Cancellation Calls as Sales Leads," the manual reads...

If you stop and think about it, every Member that calls in to cancel their account is a hot lead. Most other sales jobs require you to create your own leads, but in the Retention Queue the leads come to you! Be eager to take more calls, get more leads and close more sales. More leads means more selling opportunities for you and cost savings for AOL.

In a public statement, AOL's Nicholas Graham claimed that John, "violated our customer service guidelines and practices, and everything that AOL believes to be important in customer care - chief among them being respect for the member, and swiftly honoring their requests." If this is true, then why is there such a complex system designed to thwart those very requests? Brevity thrives on simplicity.

To reel you back in, AOL has a six stage system:

1. Greet and Verify
2. Discovery
3. Tailored Value
4. Right Offer
5. Resolve Concerns
6. Motivate to Activate

In Vincent's call, John never got past step 2. He got stuck in "Discovery" where he used "digging" to try to get more information about Vincent. John's goal was to use this intel to build an argument for staying with AOL, and deliver what the manual calls the "tailored value." A bit of an ill-fitting suit, if there ever was one, since in his inquest, John never found out that Vincent was an IT professional.

Digging involves asking the lead questions that build a portrait of the prospect's wants, interests and needs. AOL cheerfully terms these, "WINS." From page 4-20 of the "Best Practices" section:

With respect to Vincent's computer expertise, John's attempts at digging play like a study in comedy.

VINCENT: I don't need it, I don't want it, I don't use it.
JOHN: So when you use this, is that for business or school?
VINCENT: I don't want the AOL account, can we please just cancel it?
JOHN: On June 2nd, I see 72 hours of usage...

Some sales cannot be made. There is a certain point after which you're just wasting your time. Past that, you risk enraging the customer. Then there's the point where the customer tapes the conversation and humiliates you in the national media.

"This call may be recorded for quality assurance purposes," goes both ways.

John had access to a program, "Merlin," apparently so-called for its ability to turn piss into champagne. If Vincent was more pliable, John could have used it. By clicking various responses a lead makes, the behavior matrix suggests phrases for the salesperson to utter and guide customers back to AOL's fetid bosom.

The soul of Merlin is the Member Profile Guide. It boasts four tabs, "Know," "Listen," "Feel," and "How you want them to feel." Apparently, "Manipulate" was too blunt. Each tab provides different stratagems tailored to the specific customer on the line. For instance, the "Know" tab, "identifies the Member attribute and the 'role' we should play for the member." For example, if a new member has a low amount of usage, Merlin suggests taking on the guise of a "helpful guide."

Alternatively, selecting the Feel tab gives users, "an idea of the emotions the member might be feeling and how we might appropriately respond to those feelings...in bullet point form."

The manual is full of more creepy delights, including:

• On "overcoming objections" i.e. customer's desire to not connect to watered-down version of the internet, the manual advises to, "allow your callers to talk comfortably about their concerns." By doing this you can literally, "watch their concerns and resistance drop."

• As we all know and love, the best way to "keep it real" is corporate policy mandating naturalness. That's why AOL developed, "Keep It Real"...a set of principles that will drive a world-class Member experience..."

• Then there's also this doozy from black-is-white land: "The reason that many Members are going to high speed is, because the actual internet connection is much more stable....we now have the perfect solution...a free modem." Ah yes, the hot-rodding superpower of 24kbps.

• Jason Watkins, an AOL Customer Care Consultant quoted in the manual says it best, "Consumers believe everything is a commodity, i.e. where can I buy the service for the least cost. My objective as a salesperson is to prove otherwise."

An AOL retention consultant's job is to trick consumers into being stupid.

It's hard to keep track of the array of tools at their AOL call center employee's disposal. There's "Member Connect," "The Discovery Wheel," "eSource," "ASQ," "CSS," "FBB's," "WINs," and "Drill Down Questions." Operators get advice and coaching from their team leaders and fellow employees. With over 160,000 calls a day, the sales force continually hones its craft.

To AOL's credit, John seems to have missed the section that advised to, "Never get angry with the Member...Don't criticize the Member by saying things like "you don't have to be so difficult with me" or "you're impossible to deal with." Maybe that's because most of the manual is devoted to overcoming customer's objections and selling them on AOL's awesomeness.

"Traditionally, when companies have profitable but shrinking businesses, like AOL's access service, they try to milk as much money as they can from them without investing new cash.," reported the New York Times on July 10th. The article hinged around CEO John Miller's proposal in two weeks time before his Time Warner overlords for a bold revamp of AOL's services. Included in the proposition are said to be plans to eliminate retention consultants entirely.

Instead of investing in a system that people actually wanted to use, AOL created a system for duping customers into not exercising their right to leave for cheaper, higher-quality services. Behind the rhetoric of "Member Services" and "World Class Value" are suits that see their members as spreadsheet numbers. The suits sleep soundly as long as one column is kept high and the other low.

UPDATE: Full copy of the AOL manual here.

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