RELATED: Ice Cucumber Pepsi
Pepsi Blue Hawaii

In Re Vienna Beef Ltd. Litigation: CLASS ACTION SETTLEMENT INFORMATION [The Consumer Advocacy Center]
Just in Time for Lunch: Hot Dogs & the Law, Part I [Wall Street Journal Law Blog]
(Photo: Meghann Marco)

Seth's friend Josh writes:

I visited Los Angeles a few weeks ago and met up with my friend Seth at the Bluebird Cafe in Culver City. While we were there, Seth ordered a delicious tuna melt sandwich. When it arrived we were startled to see a cricket come hopping out (see attached photos). It was huge, several inches long! We immediately called a waitress over and told her what happened, showing her the cricket on the table. She proceeded to pick the cricket up and throw it on the ground, and then went back to work as usual. We were dumbfounded that she didn't offer to replace the sandwich. I believe that Seth was quoted as saying, "Did that just happen?" We tracked down another waiter who finally took back the sandwich, and gave Seth a free cupcake. You know what they say, the only thing worse than finding an enormous cricket in your tuna melt is finding half an enormous cricket! Their website says that they only use organic food grown at Rainbow Creek Farms, and I believe it!

Free cupcake:

F1.4 says:

This morning I went to one of my favorite restaurants in northern VA for breakfast – it’s a very classy joint, and the food and service is always spectacular. I was sitting outside finishing up my steak and eggs and had just put away my first cup of coffee. As most of my friends know, I generally avoid caffeine so even a little bit is like liquid crack for me, and the first cup had cleared my head and made an already beautiful morning that much better.
The ever attentive waiter noticed my empty cup and promptly topped me off – by now I was rockin the caffeine, the birds were chirping, the sun was smiling, so I gulped down another mouthful and……and something is really wrong here – what the hell did I just drink – It looks like coffee, but I don’t think it is, as a matter of fact it tasted like hot Soy Sauce?! Suddenly I wasn’t sure if I just drank coffee, soy sauce, or maybe some cleaning chemical ended up in the coffee. I am almost instantly nauseous, probably not from what I drank, but my mind and body running in overdrive trying to figure out if I should hurl, because whatever I just drank sure as hell wasn’t coffee.

I call the maitre de over and explain they had a serious problem with their coffee. About two minutes later the manager stops by to tell me they had a mix-up, and that I had indeed just enjoyed a steaming mouthful of Soy Sauce. Apparently they keep heated Soy Sauce in a coffee carafe for fish dishes, and somehow the carafe of Soy Sauce was mixed in with the carafes of regular coffee. The manager was mortified, and comped my breakfast and acknowledged that I was probably not pleased at the moment and she hoped I would be enticed to come back with a fifty dollar gift card.

I felt the restaurant responded appropriately so I won't post its name, and I am glad I didn’t boot my breakfast in a classy joint, but doesn’t Soy Sauce look a little too much like coffee to be putting it in a coffee carafe – nobody saw this coming?

We agree, the restaurant responded completely appropriately, but still, the story was too funny not to share. Hot soy sauce. Eeeeeeeewww! Time for someone at that restaurant to buy one of these.

(Photo: F1.4 )

UPDATE: The name of the mysterious soy-coffee restaurant has been revealed on DCist!

Asked whether the health department thought the lizard came with the lettuce, or whether it was placed with the lettuce later, Davis said, “I don’t want to speculate or place blame.”

The health department has not fined or sanctioned the restaurant, Davis said. The sanitarian’s investigation revealed that nothing appeared out of the ordinary and that Applebee’s staff did nothing wrong, she said.

Employees showed how they wash the lettuce, cut it, then wash it again. “They couldn’t fathom how it (a lizard) got through the process…and they profusely apologized,” Davis said.

Applebee's officials promised that "the report was being taken very seriously."

Lizard reportedly found in salad at Applebee's [Pantagraph]
(Photo: Getty)

Nohreen writes:

... The worker said that she personally cut the apple and that it was not rotten. It was brown because it had been an hour since it left the store. The worker also said that they could not do anything about it because apples turn brown. I said I would go to the store to show the worker that it was rotten. She told me that if I wanted to waste my gas, I could go to the store but they still couldn’t do anything about it.

We got to the store at approximately 5:30 PM and proceeded to make a complaint to the worker. The workers would not acknowledge our presence and decided to call security on us instead. Security arrived and took our statement and informed us that if we wanted to make a complaint we would have to go to the mall concierge. After talking with security for roughly 30 minutes, we were escorted to the concierge. We explained what had happened and the person at the concierge informed us that we could not make a complaint at the concierge. He let us know that complaints were only taken at the security office.

The concierge gave us a piece of paper containing the phone number for the storeowner of Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. The store owner was contacted at 6:05 pm. The person who answered had the correct name but she was not the owner of the store. Afterwards, we walked back to the concierge to get the correct number. When we arrived at the concierge, we were told that he could not help us anymore because security had told him so. He then took the paper containing the number, crumpled it up and took it with him. He told us that he could no longer help us and that we would need to call the mall management the following day to get further assistance.

I was appalled that they called the security on me when I wasn't even making a scene. I was just there waiting patiently for them. It was an insult to call a security on your customer. Also, we were told by the security that according to the employee per the owner they would not replace the apple. A child or anyone could have eaten that apple. I can only surmise the quality of their products and how they conduct their business. In my opinion, it only takes one bad apple to infect the rest of the bunch. When I went to the store, I wanted a replacement....now I want action. They need to learn how to conduct good customer service. I want employees to be trained better, and if needed, be reprimanded...not just employees but the owner as well.

Nohreen sent us some photos of the apple in question. We're not botanists or anything, but that looks nasty. She says she's filed complaints with just about every agency out there, and appears to have the situation well in hand, so we'll just end this by saying, "Ew."

Reader Christina wants to know why there's black schmutz all over her Aunt Mille's homestyle seeded Italian bread.

She writes:

On Wednesday I went to Meijer to purchase bread. I purchased Aunt Millie's (Home style seeded Italian) because they were out of my regular brand (why the heck not its HFCS free) When I got home I wanted to make myself a sandwich,but to my surprise I found some mystery black stuff on my bread in diagonal slashes. At first I thought is was mold but looks more like residue stuff from some machinery.

We'd take the high fructose corn syrup over the bread-staining industrial gunk. Can anyone identify the mystery marks?

The New York Times explains:

...a recent short hop I took on Horizon Air set a new dismal standard for cost efficiency.

The lavatory had no sink.

Ick.

It did have a lone plastic bottle of hand sanitizer glued to the counter.

The proposed passenger bill of rights recently thrown out by the United States appeals court would have provided travelers with “food, water, fresh air, power and working restrooms on any flight that has left the gate and been on the tarmac for more than three hours.” That document didn’t feel the need to expressly define restrooms as including a sink within which to wash one’s hands.

The article then goes on to discuss the impact of airline aesthetics on the customer experience. Yawn! Let's talk about the sink.

We're not ones for extremist speculation, but let's consider a hypothetical.

The Era Of Sinks Has Sunk!: That's right, gone are the days of hand washing in airplanes. It's outdated, unnecessary. Besides, it's not like you need to wash your hands before the meal service.

And with oil cresting $140 per milliliter, it's too expensive to haul all that weighty worthless water when airlines can instead turn hand washing into a money maker. Money maker, you ask? Sure! What if passengers use up the one glued-on bottle of hand sanitizer? What will you do then?! Buy a new personal-size bottle of sanitizer, clearly. $5 per bottle, available alongside snacks and headphones.

-OR-

This Particular Sink Was Broken: This option is boring and consequently wrong. This sink is obviously a flying harbinger of doom.
Plan accordingly.

Fear of Flying [NYT]
(Photo: Bryan Burkhart)

Looks like Applebees in Lexington, VA doesn't believe in truth in advertising. Compare the menu's Hot Fudge Sundae shooter, which fills the glass and spills over the top, to the Sundae they served me, which barely fills half the cup. I guess I didn't get my two dollar's worth.

Beware diners, the inflation-powered Grocery Shrink Ray has escaped from store shelves and is now lurking in restaurant kitchens. It is destined to terrorize the masses until Ben Bernanke angrily rises in opposition after being served an equally disappointing dessert.

UK business site Brand Republic says:

The 6 Pack, which costs £4.49 on its own or £5.69 as part of a meal, comprises one big Aberdeen Angus patty inside six rolls, stuck together to allow consumers to tear off portions. In one pair of rolls the burger is topped with ketchup, the second has a cheese topping, and the third bacon and cheese.

Supposedly, this item is going to help BK compete with "pizza." Why not just offer 6 little burgers? Who wants to tear apart a giant patty? Can this be real? Our head hurts. Would you eat this?

Burger King launches a burger for six to share [Brand Republic]

Select Comfort claims to have addressed the rampant mold problem, a claim that provides little solace to allergy sufferers whose beds are already infested with mold:

Margaret of Stanville KY (04/05/08)
Just found black mold growing under the foam top and on top of both of the air chambers. Purchased in October 2002 and notified Select Comfort today by email. I have allergies to mold and have been to Dr.'s concerning this. My husband has been coughing every night when he lays down in the bed. Just read the comments from others and hope we can reconcile this issue. The foam borders are flimsy as well as the bottom material of the top mattress cover. It has shredded and has holes in it.

Terry of New Lenox IL (05/04/07)
After less than 3 years of sleeping on our select comfort bed, we noticed a very bad odor coming from it. We proceeded to take it apart, piece by piece. The sheets were fine, the mattress pad was fine. But when we got down to the zippered comforter, it smelled terrible. Under the comforter, there is a foam pad, which was full of mold and bacteria. It smelled horrible. We are now sleeping on the floor, because we had to discard most of the bed.

Mold and bacteria cannot be removed from the foam pad, and the zippered comforter would fall apart if it was washed. We got burned badly on this one!

Lana of Brooklyn MI (9/3/03)
The Select Comfort system allows mold and/or mildew to form on the convoluted foam topper and on the air mattresses. Select Comfort's solution 'use a light bleach solution to clean the mattress.' It's impossible to clean the foam. Their product is unhealthy for people like me who have allergies to mold/mildew.

According to the class action:

Purchasers of the beds are being told by Select Comfort to return the beds, often at a significant cost to the purchaser. The Class Action seeks not only to have Select Comfort provide notice to purchasers of its Sleep Number® bed of the potential for mold infestation, but also to have the class members compensated for their losses, including the costs of shipping they have incurred or will incur to return their beds to Select Comfort.

Do you have a Sleep Number bed? Tell us in the comments if your experience was a 0 or a 100.

Select Comfort Sleep Number Bed Class Action Litigation
Select Comfort - Mold [Consumer Affairs]

The Wall Street Journal has an article that we could barely finish about absolutely disgusting behavior that air travelers are exhibiting on airplanes. The article details the foul, rude and unsanitary things that you all are doing out of some sort of misguided aggression towards the airline. We have news for you, pig pen, you're only hurting yourselves... or, more specifically, the next guy to sit in that seat.

From the WSJ:

Patrick Kerr, who like Mr. Cuzzone participated in a FlyerTalk.com online discussion among frequent travelers of disgusting things people do aboard airplanes, was flying from Reno, Nev., to Dallas when a nearby passenger put a wad of chewing tobacco in his mouth and spit juice into a plastic cup throughout the flight.

As passengers left the plane, Mr. Kerr, a technology manager in St. Louis, said, the man made one last deposit then tucked the cup deep into the seat pocket.

"I said, 'Hey, you left that.' And he said, 'It's OK. They'll get it,' " said Mr. Kerr, who then alerted a flight attendant.

Flight attendants often say that the biggest messes they have to deal with are dirty diapers left in seat-back pockets or worse, handed to them while they are serving beverages and snacks. "Would you hand that off to your server at a restaurant?" said Corey Caldwell, a spokeswoman for the Association of Flight Attendants, a union representing workers at several big airlines. "It's amazing how people treat the inside of aircraft cabins as opposed to other public spaces."

My god, were you people raised by wolves? Clean up after yourselves.

"Putting a melting chocolate bar in a seatback is a way of punishing the airline for shoddy treatment," said Robert Bor, a clinical aviation psychologist in London.

We disagree. Evil behavior such as this is actually a way to punish nice people who just happen to be on the airplane after you, and who would really rather not be covered in what appears to be baby vomit, the possible origin of which will plague them for days afterward.

Can you think of some more constructive ways to punish an airline for poor service? Department of Transportation complaint? Nasty letter to your mutual fund manager about excessive airline CEO pay? Amtrak?

Flying Foul: Passengers Behaving Badly [Yahoo!]

(Photo: JohnKit )

Yes, this is how the slice came: a used and soiled "Convenience Size" bottle of Vaseline moisturizer, as found in a Pizza Pizza, bagged slice of pizza; purchased in-store at 8:30PM (EST) 23 February 2008, Yonge St near Bloor St (Toronto, Canada).

Charles and his two friends thought the tube was a prank—our first reaction, too—and called Pizza Pizza to complain. They were promptly offered a free small pizza and an investigation.

How could that even happen? A hair, fine, whatever. A fake eyebrow, ok, it's getting late. But a whole !@#$ tube of Vaseline? Seriously, how do you not notice that? Gross.

Dame Mas Vaselina [Torontoist]
(Photo: Charles DH Crosbie)

Colleen is going to wash her clothes before she wears them from now on. Why? Well, she bought a pair of pants from Old Navy that were, well, soiled. You know. In the crotch region. By a female. The words "snail trail" were used.

Yeah.

Ew.

As if that wasn't bad enough, when Colleen took the pants back and tried to discreetly tell Old Navy what was wrong with them, they were total jerks to her.

Realizing that this was a sensitive issue, I asked for a manager at the checkout counter and attempted to be reasonably discreet when I spoke to her. It wasn't pretty. The manager was SO defensive and although she did say "I'm sorry" once, her attitude was horrible! She made me feel like I was in the wrong for being disgusted about the pants. She wasn't empathetic at all and it went badly, with excuse after excuse about WHY it could have happened, instead of saying, "I'm so sorry, how horrible, let me take care of this for you." She actually said, "Well, it's not as if we did this on PURPOSE!" Sheesh lady, I never said you did, I just want you to know so you can prevent this in the future!

Realizing I was getting nowhere fast, I quietly told her I would call corporate to express my dismay, and her response was "Go ahead!". Nice! So I did, literally dialing their number on the way out of the store. The rep there WAS empathetic and understanding, and promised that she'd have the district manager call me. I told her I had planned to return two items and shop in ON tonight, but after dealing with the manager, I was so turned off I left. I felt mortified when she was talking to me, and I was so embarrassed that she reacted like I was somehow in the wrong for expecting to buy clean clothes! I don't even want to go back to the store.

To make the rest of a long story short, I never heard from a district manager. I did hear back from the Old Navy rep at corporate who apologized again, and sent me a $50 gift card for my troubles, and told me I didn't need to return the pants. (Um, yeah, cause I'm going to wash them and wear them after this?) The pants were close to $20, so the end result here is that Old Navy puts my value as a customer at $30

old navy snail trail pants [Simple Kind of Life] (Thanks to the person who doesn't want to be credited for submitting this!)
(Photo:cmorran123)

Apparently, a "Strawberry Cheeto" is a plain cheeto dipped in some sort of strawberry frosting and is "actually very good," according to one brave soul who tried them.

There are also Chocolate Cheetos, if you're into that. They're probably the perfect snack to wash down with an ice cold Cucumber Pepsi.

Say hello to sweetened Cheetos [Japan Marketing News via Fark]
(Photo:Japan Marketing News)

China Daily says that used condoms are being recycled and sold as hair bands in China. The condom bands are cheaper then bands that were not formerly prophylactics. The recycled condoms are quite popular, but risk infecting users with the diseases that they were meant to prevent.

"People could be infected with AIDS, warts or other diseases if they hold the rubber bands or strings in their mouths while weaving their hair into plaits or buns," the paper quoted a local dermatologist as saying.

That's just nasty. We wonder if this story will turn out like the cardboard food scandal.

Used condoms winding up in people's hair [News.com.au via Digg]
(Photo:Amyadoyzie)

Officials seized more than $300,000 worth of products, says the Associated Press, including "Vitrin, a multivitamin; NC Solution, an antifungal product; and Pyran-50, a pet de-wormer."

Here's the gross part. You probably don't want to read this if you've taken these multivitamins. Just throw them away and move on to the next post. It'll probably have pictures of kitties in it.

In a 2000 inspection, the firm's owner said the company stopped making drug products and the FDA found no evidence of such manufacturing. However, in an inspection from Aug. 22 to Sept. 8 of this year, inspectors said they discovered the firm had not stopped making pharmaceuticals.

"Instead, the firm had constructed several rooms hidden behind a false wall, apparently to conceal drug products from FDA," court documents said.

Inspectors found a container of Vitrin infested with live and dead beetles, as well as dead cockroaches and rodent droppings near equipment, records showed.

They outlined problems with equipment that had not been properly cleaned and sanitized, problems with proper testing and record-keeping related to drug products, and other violations.

"For example, roof leaks have resulted in water damage and water contamination to drug components and food containers," documents said.

Officials found deteriorating chemicals that were potentially explosive, which led to an order to evacuate the building that was in effect for several days, they said.

Drug company raided in St. Louis [BusinessWeek]

The store is now up and running again with all new merchandise—even though scabies is caused by a parasite that is transmitted primarily by skin-to-skin contact and not through clothing. Better safe than sorry, we suppose.

From TMJ4 Milwaukee:

Kelly Frank says she feels like she was misled by the Children's Place.

"I feel like they've spent two weeks trying to hide why they've been closed," Frank told TMJ4's Shelley Walcott.

On October 3rd, frank noticed the Brookfield Children's Place was closed. One staff member told her it was because of remodeling. Another said it was a computer crash.

After a call to corporate, Frank discovered the real reason: two Brookfield workers had contracted Scabies, a highly contagious skin disease, and the store was being fumigated.

"They went above and beyond the call of duty to clean up," Waukesha County Health and Human Services' Peter Schuler said.

Store Open After Scabies Scare [TMJ4]

We know what you're asking. "What, Dear Consumerist, is a "Cereal Straw"? Well, sorry to disappointed you, but we have no idea. If we are to believe the package, they are "milk-suppin' fun."

Here's a description from a human who was brave enough to eat one:

They are lined in the middle with that sickly sweet powdered milk that seems to be popping up in granola and cereal bars everywhere. Someone needs to tell these guys that it does NOT replace milk and that we can all tell it's just sweetened coffee creamer. Fortunately, the flavor of that is masked by the Froot Loop shell.

The straws themselves are rather sturdy and hold up well to milk. They last a long time without getting soggy and do actually work as straws. They basically taste like Froot Loops, which is all you could realistically hope for. Sadly, the cereal straws live in a paradoxical existence; humans cannot eat and drink at the same time. Well...I guess soup makes us do that, but let's ignore that for a second.

Once you take a single bite of the cereal straw, it becomes too short for drinking and the fun immediately dissipates. If you just sit there and drink the milk, you'll just be wasting the straw as it imparts no flavor and is generally useless. Once you get to the bottom, you realize you have a half-soggy cereal straw with no milk to wash it down with.

Froot Loops Cereal Straws [The Impulsive Buy via BuzzFeed]

Earl Hartman from South Philadelphia will testify to this, if you ask him. He found a snakehead between his chicken and buttered noodles. From NBC 10:

"When I sat down, I noticed something didn't look right. It didn't loot like a green bean," he said. Hartman said he called the Pathmark where he bought the beans and Thursday received a call from Seneca Foods in upstate New York, where the vegetables were canned.

"The company said that they have an automated sorting and sometimes things like this happen. I asked about the rest of the body and he told me that it was probably kicked out by the sorter, but they're not sure," he said.

Of course there are places in the world where they might not have thrown out the green beans and considered the snake a delicacy, but South Philadelphia doesn't happen to be one of them.

"I want people to know and to be aware what may be in your food before you eat it. Just check it out," he said.

Snakehead Found In Green Beans Can [NBC10] (Thanks, Nicole!)

Ice cucumber Pepsi. It's a limited edition soda only available in Japan. What does it taste like?

"Kind of like Satan in my mouth," according to a guy on YouTube named Peter who lives in Japan.

You can watch him drink it inside.

We have so many questions.

For example: Why cucumber? Does cucumber have a taste? Should it be iced?

We may not sleep at all tonight.

Ew. —MEGHANN MARCO

Today in Extraordinarily Odd [Reluctant Whore via BuzzFeed]

So what can you do to protect yourself?

•To kill harmful bacteria, cook chicken to at least 165 F.
•Don't use plates and knives that have touched raw chicken.
•Store chicken at 40 degrees or below.
•Freeze chicken that you won't be using right away

More at Consumer Report's website —MEGHANN MARCO

Dirty Birds [Consumer Reports]

In fact, Kraft's guacamole contains less than 2% avocado.

""We think customers understand that it isn't made from avocado," said Claire Regan, Kraft Foods' vice president of corporate affairs."

So who is suing? "Brenda Lifsey, the plaintiff, said she made a three-layer dip with Kraft guacamole last year only to discover that it contained almost none of the ingredient she most expected: avocado.
"It just didn't taste avocadoey," said Lifsey, who identified herself as a federal employee who lives in Los Angeles. "I looked at the ingredients and found there was almost no avocado in it."

For the record, by law, peanut butter must contain 90% peanuts. There is no such law for guacamole. Kraft's "Guacamole" is essentially, "a whipped paste made from partially hydrogenated soybean and coconut oils, corn syrup, whey and food starch. Yellow and blue dyes give it the green color."

Well, ew. —MEGHANN MARCO

Lawsuit stirs up guacamole labeling controversy [LATimes]