Ugh, next time those snooty Europeans come over to blanket us with their Euro-gold, they’ll have one more reason to be all smug and superior: ten of the world’s largest telecoms have agreed to make a universal phone charger that can charge any phone sold in the European Union.
The parasitic Grocery Shrink Ray has infected restaurants, shrinking portions and spurring substitutions as restaurateurs struggle to pry revenue from cash-strapped customers. Desperate to fill seats by any means, restaurants are borrowing from the airlines and are starting to overbook reservations for peak times. They’re also giving preference to the new big spenders: Europeans.
Have you seen them? The Europeans? They’re everywhere! In our fancy bistros, on line at the Apple store, spending their fancy-pantzy valuable Euros while we suffer through this intolerable non-recession. The patriots at the New York Times finally sounded the warning call over this European “invasion” that’s transforming New York into the “Walmart of hip.”