On the left, a map. On the right, chicken (via @DailyMirror)

KFC Customer Claims His Dinner Has Foretold The Outcome Of Scotland’s Independence Vote

While the United Kingdom stands poised on the brink of a possibly fractured future, one man says he already knows the outcome of Scotland’s vote on independence: It’s going solo, according to a piece of chicken he bought from KFC. Well, that’s decided. [More]

(MY PINK SOAPBOX)

Guy Sasses Discount Airline EasyJet On Twitter, Gets Grounded

EasyJet is probably best known to Americans as “the European discount airline that isn’t RyanAir,” if they’ve heard of it at all. Now they’re also the airline that grounds adults for sassing them on the Internet. That’s what happened to a law professor and columnist who was annoyed that he might miss his connection when an EasyJet flight was delayed, and more annoyed that a soldier might miss his. [More]

(Skakerman)

English Grocery Store Offers Venison Special: Severed Deer Head At Checkout

You can encounter the weirdest stuff at the grocery store in the wee hours of the morning, but you probably haven’t seen anything weirder than what turned up in the self-checkout aisle of one of UK grocer Tesco’s stores at 1:30 in the morning: the severed head of a deer. [More]

Most American Company On Earth Has No Idea How To Portray Americans To UK Audience

Most American Company On Earth Has No Idea How To Portray Americans To UK Audience

Though McDonald’s is a global company, serving up variations of its fast food to people of just about every nation, it’s still considered by many to be one of the companies, if not the company, most identified with Americans. Which is why we’re perplexed by the bizarre images shown in McDonald’s UK ads for its America-themed menu items. [More]

(funky_abstract)

Coffee Shop Owner: Quit Asking Me To Offer Suspended Coffees Already

Last week, we explained why we think that the “suspended coffee” movement that allegedly began in Naples, spread all over Bulgaria, and exploded on Facebook isn’t such a hot idea. But don’t just take it from us: the owner of an independent London coffee shop weighed in on the movement. Her take: it’s insulting that people think independent coffee shops don’t already help people who look like they could use a warm cup of coffee, and you should support your local indie shop. Well, that second part was predictable. [More]

966-Calorie BK Burger Called "Height Of Irresponsibility" In UK

966-Calorie BK Burger Called "Height Of Irresponsibility" In UK

Health advocates in England, where every meal comes with a grayish sausage and a pint of warm beer, are up in arms about Burger King’s new Smoked Bacon & Cheddar Double Angus burger and its 966 calories, and 58g of fat. These people have apparently never looked at the BK menu here in the former colonies. [More]

What Happens When You Let 100 Cats Loose Inside An IKEA?

What Happens When You Let 100 Cats Loose Inside An IKEA?

Who knows better than cats what the most comfortable and interesting spaces in your house are? That’s the idea behind a new commercial for IKEA. To get the crucial kitty footage, one hundred cats were–why not?–let loose inside the Wembley store after hours to romp and nap for the cameras. [More]

How Do I Get Banned From Every Bar In England?

How Do I Get Banned From Every Bar In England?

What does it take to get yourself barred, not just from your local after-work watering hole, but from every bar in your entire country? There’s a 20-year-old woman in England who can answer that question, having just become the first person to ever be legally banned from buying or drinking booze anywhere in the UK. [More]

Think Times Are Tough? Try The Recession Of 410-1100

Think Times Are Tough? Try The Recession Of 410-1100

Cheer up! Sure, you may be unemployed. The bank may be close to foreclosing on your home. And other creditors are circling like vultures to make sure they get a piece of your hide before you declare bankruptcy or go underground. But at least you don’t have to deal with a complete collapse of all commerce, no infrastructure to speak of and the total loss of all skilled labor. Of course, as long as you weren’t covered in sh*t, you were probably doing OK. [More]

Unemployed Man With Metal Detector Finds Priceless Gold Treasure

Unemployed Man With Metal Detector Finds Priceless Gold Treasure

An unemployed man in England, scouring a farmer’s fields with his metal detector, made a fantastic discovery of gold treasure. No, really, Ancient gold treasure.

Consumers No Longer Forking Out For Knives

Consumers No Longer Forking Out For Knives

Culturally bankrupt shoppers are now buying twice as many forks as knives, according to a British department store. The Brits blame the erosion of their cherished culture on “the American habit of using a single fork.” And that’s not all. Apparently we’re also ruining their understanding and respect for the elegant tradition of proper place settings.

Range Rover Protests Its Own Existence Outside Dealership

Range Rover Protests Its Own Existence Outside Dealership

Sure, if you’re dissatisfied with your vehicle, you could complain to the company. You could write to Consumerist, or even start your own Web site. Or you could park it in front of the dealership that it came from, with a list of the vehicle’s flaws and a warning to potential buyers plastered on in vinyl letters. A man in Colchester, England did just that.

UPS Breaks, Steals Computer

UPS Breaks, Steals Computer

Nick paid the UPS store in Woburn, Massachusetts $600 to ship his computer with insurance to and from England. UPS smashed the computer somewhere along the way and insisted that Nick would need to wait 4-6 weeks for a decision on his claim. After a month, Nick called the UPS store and was told that they needed additional documentation. Another month later, Nick decided to get a new computer and asked for the damaged computer back so he could use it for parts, only to find out that the UPS store had inexplicably shipped it to headquarters, which then delivered it to a stranger in New York named Ken.

TV Star Includes Bank Account In Editorial Saying Identity Theft Is No Big Deal, Gets Defrauded

TV Star Includes Bank Account In Editorial Saying Identity Theft Is No Big Deal, Gets Defrauded

Jeremy Clarkson, a British TV star, wrote an editorial describing privacy activism as “palaver,” and just to prove how safe we all are, included his bank account number. Soon afterwards someone snagged £500 from the Top Gear host’s account. “I was wrong and I have been punished for my mistake,” the presenter later told reporters. Needless to say, you should never share your bank account information with anyone who doesn’t need it, for instance, millions of faceless readers.

Liquor Store Refuses To Sell Booze To Man Who May Be 12 or 74, Who Can Say?

Liquor Store Refuses To Sell Booze To Man Who May Be 12 or 74, Who Can Say?

A shop in England refused to sell two bottles of wine to a white-haired, balding grandfather—you know, the kind with wrinkles on his face—because he balked when the cashier asked him to prove he was over 21. The man, being ornery in that way that old folks just naturally embrace, refused: “I felt like saying ‘What do I look like? Are you a fool?'”

United Airlines: Sorry We Lost Your Cat in the Cargo Hold For 3 Weeks

United Airlines: Sorry We Lost Your Cat in the Cargo Hold For 3 Weeks

    A 12-year-old orange tabby cat named “Pumpkin” is said to be doing well, after going three weeks without food or water in the cargo hold of a passenger jet that flew from England to Germany.

Finder Of Apple Porn On His Daughter’s Laptop Interviewed

Finder Of Apple Porn On His Daughter’s Laptop Interviewed

UPDATE: Imran works as a system administrator at Orange, the mobile arm of France Telecom.

Internet Sneers At Apple/ Porn/ Laptop/ Child Post

Internet Sneers At Apple/ Porn/ Laptop/ Child Post

UPDATE: Finder Of Apple Porn On His Daughter’s Laptop Interviewed