You see, James' mother thinks that Elmo is saying "Kill James."

We watched the clip before we knew what the doll was "supposed" to be saying and thought it sounded like "Carol Kane," but James' mother in convinced Elmo is more into Charles Manson than Scrooged.

Fisher-Price has agreed to replace the toy. Feel free to tell us what you think the doll is saying in the comments.

Toddler's Elmo Doll Makes Death Threats, Family Says [TBO] (Thanks, Everyone!)
Video [TBO]

The recall affects 967,000 toys made between April 19 and July 6 of this year that bear a date code between 109-7LF and 187-7LF. Two-thirds of the affected toys were quarantined before they reached store shelves.

The recall is disconcerting because Mattel is seen by many as a role model for businesses using Chinese manufacturers:

Allmark said the recall was troubling because Fisher-Price has had a long-standing relationship with the Chinese vendor, which had applied decorative paint to the toys. Allmark said the company would use this recall as an opportunity to put even better systems in place to monitor vendors whose conduct does not meet Mattel's standards.

33662 Elmo Light Up Musical Pal
33664 Big Bird Light Up Musical Pal
39038 Elmo Tub Sub
87946 Elmo Keyboard
90609 Elmo Collectible
90612 Zoe Collectible
90614 Big Bird Collectible
93068 Elmo Boom Box
93307 Press N Go Elmo
93492 Cookie Saxophone
93615 Splash Tub Puzzle

B7554 Count To Beat Elmo
B7987 Elmo In The Giggle Box
B9620 Dora's Talking House
C6908 Dora, Backpack, Perrito Figure Pack
C6909 Diego Figure Pack
C6911 Boots, Tico Figure Pack
G5112 Sing With Elmo's Greatest Hits
H2943 Grow With Me Elmo Sprinkler
H3344 Birthday Dora
H5570 Elmo & Pals (Elmo, Zoe, Bigbird)
H4628 Water Fun Tote
H8237 Blue 3 Pack Figures In Tube
H9124 Chef Dora
H9186 Giggle Grabber Ernie

J0338 Diego Talking Field Journal
J0344 Go Diego Go Deep Sea Rescue
J0346 Go Diego Go Talking Rescue 4 X 4
J5936 Giggle Grabber Chef Cookie Monster
J6537 Sesame Street Giggle Toolbelt
J6763 Royal Boots And Tico
J7983 Sesame Street Tub Pots & Pans
J9692 Dora's Talking Pony Place
K3414 Diego - Talking Gadget Belt
K3580 Fairytale Adventure Dora
K4140 Toucan Motorcycle Rescue

L3194 Surprise Inside Diego Eggs
L3488 Sesame Street Birthday Figure Pack
L3507 Sesame Street - Super Boom Box
L5202 Birthday Dora
L8905 Pablo & Pals
M0352 Dora Figures Diego & Bear
M0527 Sesame Street Giggle Doodler
M2051 Lets Go Rescue Center
33663 Ernie Light Up Musical Pal
34658 Elmo Stacking Rings
39054 Sesame Street Shape Sorter
90267 Ernie Splashin' Fun Trike
90611 Cookie Collectible
90613 Ernie Collectible
90745 Construction Playset
93107 Action Fire Engine
93308 Rev & Go Cookie Monster
93493 Elmo's Guitar
93780 Music And Lights Phone

B7888 Shake, Giggle & Roll
B7989 Silly Parts Talking Elmo

C6910 Swiper Figure Pack
G3825 Dora Talking Vamonos Van
G9717 Giggle Doodler
H3343 Cousin Daisy
H5569 Elmo & Pals (Elmo, Cookie, Ernie)
H4187 Dora Figures In Tube
H8236 Dora 3 Pack Figures In Tube
H8238 Sponge Bob 3 Pack Figures In Tube
H9125 Bedtime Dora
H9188 Giggle Grabber Oscar The Grouch

J0343 Go Diego Go Antarctic Rescue
J0345 Go Diego Go Mountain Rescue
J5935 Giggle Grabber Soccer Elmo

J6762 Queen Mami
J6765 Prince Diego
J9518 Sesame Street Giggle Drill
K0617 Twins Nursery
K3571 Go Diego Go Mobile Rescue Unit
K4139 Go Diego Go Dinosaur Rescue
L0305 Dora Figure

L3215 Sesame Street Elmo Jack-In-The-Box

L5813 Diego Tub Trike
M0351 Dora Figures Dora & Kitty
M0524 Go Diego Go Talking Gadget
M0732 Dora's Talking House
M2052 Fairytale Castle

Wal-Mart finds T.M.X. Elmo cache [CNN Money]

Consumer Reports doesn't think Elmo is worth it, and, frankly, neither do we. We suggest getting your little darling a cuddly stuffed version. It's cheaper...and quieter.

Other Winners and Losers for the Holiday season include:

•Lazer Tag Team Ops by Hasbro, New Super Mario Bros for Nintendo DS and DS Lite game systems, and Moon Sand Castle Set by Spin Master were winners with kids.

•Most kids just didn't like: Cranium Giggle Gear: Mega Mask Kit, Lego SpongeBob and Plankton's Adventure, Lego Mindstorms NXT, and HyperScan Game System with X-Men by Mattel.

Elmo is back. [ConsumerReports.org]
Toy Test 2006 [ConsumerReports.org]

""We're continuing the search for them," she said. Wal-Mart is also offering a trip to a comedy club in New York City as a reward for returning the shipment."

Comedy club? For hijacking a truck? Hmmm, it's tempting to suspect foulplay, but we smell PR stunt. Is it illegal to steal your own shipment of Elmos and sell them on Ebay? Only if you report it as a crime...

From CNN:

"However, officials at the Bentonville police department told CNNMoney.com that they were not currently aware of any missing Elmo report from Wal-Mart."

In 1963, Charles Beaumont penned the classic Twilight Zone Episode, "The Living Doll." In it, a possessed plastic doll named Talking Tina (and voiced by none other than June Foray, the voice of Rocket J. Squirrel) plots to kill Telly Savalas, a bitter husband who cruelly treats his stepfather to cope with his own impotence.

In the 42 years since, there's never been a doll that comes close to being as terrifying. But that was before Tickle Me Elmo T.M.X. landed on retailer's shelves.

Holy Zombie Jesus! The next Elmo doll is going to actually have to be programmed to slit your achilles heel so it can get to the jugular to be any more nightmarish. A great gift for the child of your worst enemy.

Whatever. It's a stuffed animal that rolls around and slaps its knee when you tickle it. Big deal. Rosie O'Donnell better keep her damn mouth shut. She probably still has no idea what hell she wrought in malls across this fair nation. And I've survived other crazes. I did Beanie Babies. I did Blues Clues. I did Titanic. I did Rugrats. I did "McDonald's Beanie Babies" where I had people coming into my video store and asking if we sold "McDonald's Beanie Babies." No. We did not. We sold videos. And Pez.

But the worst was Tickle Me Elmo, which we did carry. We got exactly 2 of them and the store manager bought them both. Which meant I had to endure 2 months of this:

"Do you have any Tickle Me Elmos left?"
"No."
"Will you hold one for me? When will you get more?"
"We won't. This is a video store."
"But, you don't understand. I NEED one. They said you had them."
"Sorry."
"Can't you order it?"
"No."
"Your sign says Special Orders."
"We don't order toys."
"Well, what the fuck do you suggest I do?"
"Maybe you should try Toys R Us."
"They told me to come here."
"Maybe you should try Marshall Field's."
"They told me to try Toys R Us."

And on... And on...

The track was recorded as 'Uh oh, who has to go' and due to compression of the digital audio file, some consumers hear a different phrase...

We are absolutely certain the audio file was not tampered with. If one listens very carefully... it does indeed say 'Uh oh, who has to go?'

We're not quite so sure. We can buy the "who has to" instead of "who wants to", but no matter how you listen to it that last word sounds an awful lot like "die". Which means Elmo's not just getting all subtly Heaven's Gate-ish in the book, looking for co-playmates up for a super fun jaunt through immortality, but effectively asking who he should murder next. Which is about just what you'd expect from a blood red monster with a shrill nightmarish voice.

Lest we all lose perspective on this story, concerned mother Crystal Gimlin observed...

Some people think it's funny, and maybe it is for you, but you really have to take into consideration what it's telling these kids.

What's that, exactly? That life is fleeting and should be embraced? Seems like the kind of thing most kids should be taught from birth. Or is the real message that someday, even Mommy and Daddy will die, leaving the little tyke alone forever? And that when they eventually die, it's like being locked in a coffin, fully conscious yet unable to move, for all of infinity? You're right, Crystal — that is a funny thing to tell a particularly obnoxious child.

Every once and a while, something absolutely perfect in your life unexpectedly happens. Going from nadir to apex on the parabola of awesomeness: for some, it's seeing that unexpected, infinitely coveted purple drop in World of Warcraft; for others, it's going skydiving and landing in the missionary position inside Scarlett Johansen. But no matter what your dreams in life are, you have to admit, Elmo using his shrill nightmarish voice to tell small children looking for instructions on using their first potty that they are about to die is just shy of the best thing ever.

From Local6.com:

Family members said 16-month-old Miranda Boll's new book, "Potty Time With Elmo," was supposed to teach an interactive lesson using voice commands.

However, when the book's buttons are pressed, it reportedly says something it is not supposed to — "who wants to die?"

As an ancillary note, anyone else more disturbed about an entire book devoted to Elmo crapping than about him threatening the mortality of toddlers?